Loving Lester
by Angela3511
Summary: Stephanie falls for a new guy- Lester Santos- when Ranger pushes her away before going in the wind. This is the story of their relationship and how they try to keep it from the other curious Merry Men! Not overly friendly to Cupcakes or Helen Plum. Humorous and romantic. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's note: **__What if Ranger pushed Stephanie away before going in the wind, and one of her Merry Men was there to pull her close? This is the story of Stephanie learning to love someone different and moving on with her life. As is typical for me, it's mostly humor with a bit of steamy romance and a smidge of angst to keep things interesting. _

_This is not overly friendly to Cupcakes or Helen Plum fans but they won't be too badly damaged. Ranger is a bit bruised up but he'll only need a Bandaid. _

_I'm a bit stuck with 'Distracting Ranger' and honestly, I fell in love with Lester in that story, so much as I love Ranger (and I do!), it's a bit challenging to write a Babe HEA when I want Stephanie to ride into the sunset with Lester. So I started a story where she does end up with Lester. I __promise__ that 'Distracting Ranger' will be continued and finished (and soon!) because I absolutely loathe unfinished stories and I refused to do that, but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy 'Loving Lester'. _

_Since I apparently am incapable of short stories, it's already a long one, so be prepared for a long ride here. But I already have it mostly done and 80,000+ words written, so it's just a matter of editing, so I should be able to post frequently. (Hint: reviews make me post faster!)_

_Blanket disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. I wish they did, but alas, they are the property of Janet Evanovich. But should she wish to discuss custody arrangement of one Lester Santos, I'm happy to bring the pineapple upside down cake and grande margaritas for that conversation._

_**Chapter 1**_

Why me? How'd my life get so nuts that I sound like my mother?

I guess you could track everything back to when Ranger left to go 'in the wind' the last time. We'd been getting closer, or so I thought, and I really thought we were moving into something more real. Guess I was wrong.

He stopped by to see me before he left. I blame the fact that I was 98% asleep and drugged on what happened next.

"Ranger?" I murmured as the scent of Bulgari filled my nose.

"Yeah, Babe," he said.

I rolled over and flicked on the light, trying to force myself awake. But I'd taken an Ambien and it was tough to struggle up out of the darkness.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I'm leaving, Babe."

"Oh." I had to think for a minute to make that compute. "When will you be back?"

"Don't know, Babe."

"Oh."

He sighed. "Stephanie, I think maybe this is for the best. You seem to be getting too attached."

That got my fuzzy attention. "Seems like you've been getting attached too."

"My life doesn't lend itself to relationships."

Oh great, this bullshit again. "So you've told me. But we're already in a dysfunctional relationship of some sort, Ranger." See, this is what I blame on the drugs. Normally I would have found some smartass comment instead of the truth.

"We aren't in a relationship, Stephanie."

"Then what is this?" I asked.

"All it can be." There was silence for so long that I almost fell back asleep.

"Don't go crazy," he said and then he was gone.

I'd have been tempted to write it all off as a drug-induced dream except that Ranger really was gone. And he'd called on his way to whatever country he was supposed to save to "suggest" that Tank keep the guys away from me for a while. Bastard.

Lester was one of my closest friends at RangeMan, and Tank was a buddy too. Tank must have told Lester because Lester showed up at my apartment the next day at lunch to ask what the hell had happened with Ranger.

I was confused for a minute until I remembered my dream. Guess it wasn't a dream. I tried to keep it all in, but Lester is nothing if not damn persuasive and persistent and before long, pretty much all of the story came tumbling out.

If it hadn't been so painful, it would have been amusing to see Lester standing there with his jaw hanging open. "He did WHAT?" Lester finally roared.

I winced at the sound. Lester immediately apologized. "Sorry, Beautiful!"

"It's okay. No offense, but I think stupid runs in your family."

That made him laugh. "You're going to be okay, Beautiful," he chuckled. "And so far it doesn't seem to be a genetic thing."

"Not so far," I'd retorted, trying to cover my pain with humor. "But I'll keep an eye on you just in case."

He laughed and pulled me into a big, tight hug. "He is stupid, Beautiful. You're a wonderful woman and you deserve better than my lug of a cousin."

Oh sweet monkey butts. I had to suck in a deep breath at that to keep from crying all over Lester's tight black shirt. He knew this and immediately dragged me out of my apartment for lunch. We ended up at this little hole in the wall that would have been scary if I hadn't been with one of the men in black.

"What is this, Les?" I asked.

"Best steak you'll ever eat, hands down," he insisted. "Trust me."

I did. Plus I had no idea where I was at so it wasn't like I could just turn around and go home.

He was right. It was the most tender steak I'd ever eaten. Lester had laughed the whole time at my moans and groans as I'd had mini mouth-orgasms over the steak and what I insisted was also the world's best baked sweet potato. It had just the right amount of butter and cinnamon sugar and it was almost like dessert. Not quite, just almost.

"Do you want to talk about it, Beautiful?" Lester had asked as he found a front row parking spot at my apartment building.

"Hell no!" I replied instantly, making him laugh.

"He'll change his mind," Lester said. "It was probably just the stress of heading off."

I sighed. "Doesn't matter, Les. He all but told me to move on, so by God, I will. I can't live like this anymore. I care about him, but I think I deserve better than this."

"You definitely deserve better than this."

"So got any normal, not emotionally closed off friends who look like you?" I'd asked with an attempt at a grin.

"Why accept second best when you can have me?" he offered with an arrogant smile and smoldering green eyes.

"Because you are the biggest playboy I've ever known and you'd do even more damage to my heart than your cousin!"

"Oh, Beautiful, I'm hurt."

"Give me your gun and you can be."

"Why do you think I'm a playboy?" he asked, not handing over his gun like I asked. Smart man.

"Because that's all I ever hear about from you guys are your legendary conquests!"

"Maybe I've just been looking for the right girl."

"By sleeping with every girl in the world?"

"Not all of them!" he protested. I shot him a look. "Some of them were ugly."

I smacked him upside the head with a laugh. "You're a good friend, Lester Santos. Thank you for today, I needed this."

"If I didn't have the night shift tonight, I'd take you out dancing, let you see how many guys are drooling all over you."

"Lester!" I exclaimed.

He looked confused. "That's what my parents called me, God knows why."

"Why didn't you say you had to work tonight? You should be in bed!"

"Hanging out with you is more fun than bed."

"Only if you're not doing it right," I retorted.

Lester stared at me in shock for a second before busting out laughing. "What's gotten into you?"

No one lately, I thought, but I managed to keep it to myself. So I shrugged. "It's kind of liberating to know that there's nothing holding me back. Hurts, yeah, but he'll probably gone for a long time, so hopefully I'll be able to find someone else who will actually be willing to love me in the meantime."

"That shouldn't be hard," he said. "You're smart, funny and gorgeous. The line of men to ask you out will be long enough we'll need to get some of those DMV numbers to hand out."

My turn to laugh. "If only. No, I don't need masses, just a nice guy would be a good. Someone who won't try to turn me into a Stepford wife like Joe or push me away constantly. Being hot like you guys wouldn't hurt either."

* * *

Looking back now, the day after Ranger left was the beginning of a new friendship with Lester. I didn't notice anything changing at first because it was so subtle, but that's when things with me and Les started to change. He'd always been a good friend, but I usually saw him when I had a psycho after me or when I was hanging out with Ranger.

But now, with Ranger gone for God knows how long to God knows where, Lester was always around. We'd go to hockey games and scream our throats raw or out to eat. Unlike his cousin, he actually enjoyed real food and not just salads. He'd show up on the days when I had to wrestle a skip in garbage with take out and a kick ass movie. Mary Lou would always be my best friend, but Lester somehow became my other best friend.

_**So… what do you think? Please review!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

I was having a shitty day. A skip had gotten the better of me and Lula, big surprise, and had managed to beat the crap out of me before Lula could get her stun gun out and zap the psychotic dude before he could kill me.

I heard a knock on my door and I decided I was too damn sore to move. A second later, my cell phone started ringing. Les.

"Hey," I said into the phone.

"Hey, Beautiful. Where are you?" he asked.

"Home."

"I just knocked and you didn't answer."

"Hurts too much to move. Let yourself in," I told him with a tired sigh.

I could hear muted cursing as I hung up the phone. Les was in my bedroom a few seconds later. "What happened?"

"I suck at being a bounty hunter," I told him.

"What happened?" he repeated.

"Benny Salazar skipped, but he didn't want to be brought in. He managed to beat the crap out of me before Lula could pull him off," I said as I lay spread eagle on my bed.

Les sat down beside me and brushed back some of my hair out of my eyes. "You need a doctor? Or me to call Bobby?" he offered.

"Nah. Just bruises. I already took some ibuprofen but it hasn't kicked in yet," I told him.

"What's the damage?" he asked.

"Bruised ribs and muscles from getting kicked," I said and Les looked like he was about to kill someone.

"Son of a bitch kicked you?" he demanded.

I was too sore to move and I'd just told him that, so I kept quiet and just closed my eyes.

"Front or back?" he asked after a minute.

"Mostly back," I whispered. "I tackled him, but I got tangled up with him as we went down. He managed to get up faster than me and I wasn't able to get up once he started kicking me. Took Lula a minute to catch up to us and stun him."

I felt gentle hands under my shoulders as I was lifted up and flipped. I felt like a pancake. You know, I could go for some pancakes.

"I'll take you to IHOP once I check you out," Les said with a slight smile in his voice. Crap, I said that out loud again. Guess I was too tired to filter things.

I felt my shirt being lifted and then Les sucked in a breath. "Holy shit, Steph!"

I winced. "That bad, huh?"

"Yeah. You sure none of your ribs are broken?" he asked.

"Doesn't feel like it. Just feels like bruises soreness rather than broken ribs soreness. Plus it's not like they'll do much other than tell me to be careful and I can do that without getting a huge ER bill."

I felt him get up and then I could hear him poking around in my bathroom. He was back in a couple of minutes and started rubbing stuff on my back. I jumped at the coldness.

"Arnica gel," he told me. "Then we'll do some muscle pain rub."

"You don't have to do this," I told him as he rubbed the salve onto my bruises.

No answer.

"Thanks," I said. And I was thankful. His magic hands were hurting so good as he gave me what could have been the best but most painful massage of my life, but I knew it was better for me to get the lactic acid out of my muscles in the long run.

"You're welcome, Beautiful."

I was almost ready to fall asleep when he pulled my shirt back down. "Anything else hurt?"

"Just my pride," I reassured him.

"I can help with that, too, Beautiful," he said softly. "Let me teach you some self-defense moves, ways to get yourself up and out of danger if something like this ever happens again."

I thought about it for a minute. Joe would have been yelling about how I was incompetent and should quit my job before I got myself killed. Ranger would probably just show up and drag me out jogging the next day even if I was still sore. And I would be.

Les was asking. That was a vast improvement.

He upped the ante. "Please? I can't stand seeing you hurt like this."

"Fine," I sighed. "When I'm less sore."

"When you're less sore," he agreed. "We'll give it a day or two."

Personally, I thought it would take a week or two at minimum. It really hurt.

I was too sore to handle getting up and heading out to IHOP, so Les ordered Chinese food for us instead. Once it arrived, he helped me hobble into the living room to collapse on the couch. I might be a slob, but even I didn't want to have to sleep in a bed full of rice, so I'd rather eat in the living room than in the bedroom.

Les stayed the night on my lumpy old couch just in case I needed anything. Now that's devotion. He made me take another handful of ibuprofen, but he predicted, correctly as it turned out, that my muscles would lock up during the night.

I couldn't even get myself out of bed the next morning. I felt like a turtle that some evil kid had flipped over on its back. I don't know what I would have done if Les hadn't been there. Wallow in my own misery for days until someone thought to look for me, probably.

He helped me up and into the shower. He sat on the toilet and told me stories about him and the other Merry Men getting the hell beat out of them in various situations. I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but it worked. If Les could end up stuck in bed because he couldn't move, then maybe I wasn't such a terrible loser that it happened to me.

He helped me into the living room and we watched TV until Bobby arrived with breakfast. Bobby checked me over, gave me some prescription painkillers and muscle relaxants and told me to take it easy and use heating pads for twenty minutes every hour or two to help with the worst areas of pain. He warned me that the heating pad would make the awful bruises look even worse but that my muscles would thank me.

I gratefully attacked the McDonalds and Tasty Pastry that Bobby brought for me. When I tried to thank him, he nodded at Les. "Thank him. He's the one who told me what to get for you."

I turned to Les. He was ever so slightly pink cheeked but his green eyes were twinkling. I looked at him and grinned. "You're my favorite."

He laughed. "I'm your favorite?" he asked.

I nodded, and then groaned when even that much movement made my muscles hurt.

Bobby was laughing too. "And where do I rank, Bomber?" he asked.

"Second favorite. But it's close. Real close. Almost a tie. But he got me food so that edges you out slightly. Sorry."

They just laughed. Bobby reached out and ruffled my curls before standing up in a fluid movement that I could never, ever replicate.

"I can live with that," he told me. "Call me if it gets worse or you need anything." Then he was gone and it was just me, Les and lots of unhealthy food.

Les reached over to snag a sausage biscuit and I grabbed his hand. "What? I told Bobby to get enough for two," he said as he turned to look at me.

"Thanks," I said softly. "You take such good care of me. I don't deserve to have a friend like you, but I'm glad I do."

He squeezed my hand. "You're welcome. I'm just returning the favor, Beautiful," he told me.

I hung my head. "I don't do anything for you guys," I argued. "Just get you guys hurt helping me."

He tipped my chin up so I had to look at him. "How can you say that? For most of this town, hell, to most of our families even, we're just hired thugs. People cross the street to get away from us, freak out when we just walk by or sit down at a restaurant. You don't do that. You just treat us like people, and like people you like. And that means a lot to all of us."

I tried to shrug but it hurt, so I stopped. "Unless you're telling me you're a terminator robot or something, you are just people. And I do like you all."

"And that's special. So that's why we all love you, Steph."

I smiled at him. "You're a sweetie."

He looked completely disgusted at the comment so I just laughed and handed him his breakfast sandwich.

We spent the day watching movies and just hanging out. I learned a lot more about the green-eyed man in black. It was fascinating.

He told me about his family. He's the baby of the family, and he has a brother and three sisters who tormented him as a child. He speculated that he became a joker and a muscle bound beefcake to protect himself from his overbearing older siblings. He kept them laughing as kids so they didn't pick on him much, and then he went into the Army and turned into Mr. Muscles so he wouldn't be in a position to be teased as easily ever again.

He caught my look of shock and grinned at me. "I majored in psychology. Mostly criminal and abnormal psych, but they make you take all the regular psychology stuff before you take the stuff on the truly screwed up."

"When did you get a degree?" I asked. "And how did I not know about this?"

He shrugged. "I was stationed at Fort Bragg in North Carolina for several years when I first joined the Army. There was a local university that worked with the soldiers as much as possible if we had to miss classes due to deployments or training and I was able to get most of the degree done before I joined the Rangers. I finished up the rest mostly through online classes when I had free time. Took me more than the usual four years, but I managed to eventually get it done before I left the Army."

"Wow, that's amazing!"

He shrugged self-consciously. "I figured it would help to understand the mind of the bad guys I was sent after, so it was a good fit. Plus it's just interesting."

"Do all of you guys have degrees?"

"Not all. Bobby does, obviously, to be a PA. Tank and Ranger both did some college but didn't end up finishing. Cal has a computer science certificate of some sort. Hal was a military history major. Can't remember off the top of my head about everyone else," he told me.

"That's amazing. I can't believe you were able to do a degree while being in the Army. Your time management skills must be off the charts!"

I got a cheesy grin. "Those aren't my only skills that are off the charts, Beautiful," he promised in a husky voice.

I froze for a second and then rolled my eyes. "And what would Freud say about you deflecting a compliment with innuendo?"

He looked at me in surprise and I grinned. "I had to take psych 101 too," I told him. "I might not have majored in it, but I do remember the class. Plus I've picked up a lot of deviant psych experience as a bounty hunter, and you're definitely a deviant!"

He busted out laughing. "If you think I'm a deviant, you ain't seen nothing yet," he assured me. "But if you're interested in psychology, I have a bunch of my old books if you ever want to borrow any of them."

I nodded slowly. "Might be helpful sometime, if you really don't mind," I said.

I got a megawatt smile in return. "Nope. I'll bring you a couple of the more interesting books next time," he promised. He seemed incredibly happy that I was interested in his academic field. He looked like his Christmas had come early. Guess he really wanted someone to talk about psychology with.

By early evening, the happy drugs from Bobby were wearing off and I was starting to ache pretty badly again. Les, of course, noticed and called me on it.

"How bad?" he asked as he paused the movie.

"What?"

"How bad is the pain?" he asked again. "And don't try to minimize it."

I sighed. "Probably a six or so. Not terrible but not fun either."

He helped me to my feet and then helped me to stretch. Okay, so he forced me to stretch. But when he got that puppy dog look on his face and begged me to trust him, that I would feel better if I just did it, I folded like a house of cards in gale-force winds. Why can one look from him make me give in? So annoying.

I must admit that I felt better once Les helped me stretch out the sore muscles of my chest and back. And when he dug his long fingers into my shoulders, I started moaning in sheer joy.

Then he gave me more of the happy pills and a left over donut. Once I was happy again, he went in search of my lone heating pad. I hadn't used it in a while, not since I'd gone on the birth control shot to help me deal with my hideous cramps during that time of the month, and I wasn't entirely sure that it still worked. It did.

He found an extension cord and plugged it in before sitting back down, plopping one of the dollar store throw pillows on his lap and pulling my head down to rest in his lap. He wedged the heating pad between my bludgeoned spine and the back of the couch, and rested one hand on my hip.

I was feeling nice and relaxed an hour later. Les had been stoking my hip as the drugs and the heat soothed my battered muscles.

I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up to Les gently shaking me and calling my name.

"Huh?" I asked.

I rolled over to look up at him and he had a very sweet expression on his face. "Wake up, Sleeping Beautiful," he told me. "Your stomach has been getting progressively louder for the last twenty minutes, and I'm afraid it's going to start eating your internal organs if we don't feed you soon."

I blushed and struggled to sit up. He helped me and then pulled me against his nice, warm side once I was vertical again.

He ordered Pino's and we sat around and ate pizza while we shot the shit and watched a game over the next few hours. Then I took another pain pill and crashed into oblivion.

Les had to work the next morning, but he made sure I was able to get up and get to the bathroom before he left. He called me several times during the day and showed up after his shift ended with several bowls of food courtesy of my favorite domestic goddess, Ella.

He took good care of me over those few days when I was moving even more slowly than my Grandma Mazur. I vowed to return the favor if it was ever needed, but I fervently hoped that Les was never injured enough to need that kind of help.

_**Author's note: **__Thanks for the great response thus far- it's only been a few hours! As a reward, here's chapter two! _

_And let's remember my deal: __**more reviews = more chapters**__. They're pretty much already written, I just need to edit them. _

_I freely admit I'm a total review slut. They make me smile._

_And I also freely admit that I love Lester. Who wouldn't?_

_Please review!_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

When I came home from work one day a couple of months later to find Rex lying too still on the bottom of his exercise wheel, my new best friend was the one I called as I tried unsuccessfully to fight back the sobs.

"L-l-les," I wailed into the phone.

"Stephanie! What's wrong?" he demanded, instantly on edge.

"Rex died," I managed to blubber.

"Oh fuck, Beautiful," Lester whispered. "I'm sorry."

I just sniffled into the phone.

"I'm on my way. You need anything?" he asked softly.

"No," I finally said, knowing that he would be there soon and he would help me deal with everything.

I went into my bedroom, unable to stomach seeing Rex's cage on the kitchen cabinet and knowing that I'd never hear his little wheel squeaking again.

Lester found me ten minutes later. He just gathered me into his arms and held me while I sobbed. "Oh, Beautiful," he said as he rubbed my back. "I'm sorry. He was a good rat."

"Hamster," I choked out.

"Right, he was a good hamster."

I sobbed myself to sleep in his arms. When I woke up, I was alone. I rolled over on my back and stared at the ceiling. The door opened softly a few minutes later and I heard Lester sneak back into the room.

"Hey," I said, causing him to jump about four feet. If I wasn't completely devastated about Rex, it would have been amusing.

"Sorry, Beautiful," he said apologetically. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You didn't. I was already awake."

He sat on the edge of my bed and watched me with concern in his peridot green eyes. "How're you doing?"

I sighed. "I don't know. I knew it would happen eventually, he was way past the average age for a hamster. But I love, loved, that little guy so much!" A few tears popped out even though I fought to keep them back.

Les just flopped down next to me and pulled me into his arms. "I know, Beautiful. And I'm sorry."

He was warm and safe and I was a basket case, so I just kept my mouth shut and tried to absorb some of his strength. God knows I didn't have any left after today.

Lester was whispering softly in my ear in Spanish. Ranger used to do that, and it made my stomach all swirly. But hearing Lester's baritone voice in my ear whispering was just about the most comforting thing I could imagine. I felt safe, like nothing else bad could ever happen to me.

"Les?" I asked hesitantly.

He stopped talking instantly. "Yeah, Beautiful?"

"What were you saying?"

"What?"

"I don't understand much Spanish, but it sounded beautiful. So what were you saying?"

"Um…" he trailed off. I lifted my head off his chest and was stunned to see his dark honey toned skin taking on a pink tinge.

"Ohmigod, are you blushing?" I demanded.

The pink intensified and Lester wouldn't meet my gaze.

"You are! Oh, holy crap! You're actually blushing! I didn't think Merry Men could blush!"

He rolled his eyes at me. "I'm just a man, Beautiful. I can blush."

"Why?" I asked.

"I think it has something to do with blood vessels dilating, but we could ask Bobby."

"Smartass."

"You'd love my ass if you'd only give it a chance."

My turn to roll my eyes. "I'm sure your ass is absolutely fabulous, but I wanted to know why you're blushing, not how you're blushing."

He cleared his throat and looked away, refusing to answer as his cheeks turned a darker pink.

I stared at him in utter fascination. I'd seen Les in a lot of weird and awful shit before, but I'd never seen him look as uncomfortable as he did now.

"Were you whispering dirty things out of habit?" I finally asked. He was the playboy of RangeMan, after all.

He met my gaze and looked offended. "No!"

"Then what?"

He sighed. "Just whispering junk, okay?"

No, not okay. Inquiring minds want to know, and right now I wanted anything that would get my mind off of Rex.

"Was it about the junk in my trunk?" I teased.

Lester looked at me and flushed a bit again. "No, Beautiful, I wouldn't disrespect you like that."

Well, that took nearly all of the wind out of my sails.

"But you won't tell me what you said?" I tried again.

I got the patented crooked grin that always made me smile. "Not even Al-Queda would get it out of me."

"Maybe I'm more creative."

His smile wavered before coming back even bigger. He flopped over this his back, spread eagled on the bed. "Give it your best shot!"

"You sure you can handle my best shot, big boy?" I asked with a grin.

His smile grew cocky. "Beautiful, I can handle anything you can throw at me," he said. Well, when he puts it like that, we'll just have to find out, won't we?

I smiled and his eyes went from joking to wary. "Beautiful," he said as he started scooting away. "I don't like that look in your eyes."

I grinned as I sat up and then straddled him, my legs on either side of his waist. He froze after his hands flew to my waist.

"Stephanie?" he said in a strangled voice.

I grinned, leaned down with my hands at his ribs and whispered into his ear. "Game on, Santos."

Then I started tickling.

Almost instantly, Lester was convulsing in laughter and I had to lock my legs around him as he writhed on the bed. He was jerking so hard that I almost toppled off of him a couple of times, but I managed to keep my balance and continued to torment him until I was concerned that he was going to pee in my bed. That was sufficiently worrisome that I stopped.

He quivered under me, sucking in ragged gasps as he fought to stop laughing.

"You going to tell me now or do I have torture you more to get answers?" I grinned.

He looked up with wide green eyes as I wiggled my fingers at him. "No!"

"Then tell me."

"No!"

"You asked for it, then," I said with a grin as I tickled him again. He started laughing again but then I was pinned on my back by an amused Lester. He held my arms above my head with one big hand while he tried to tickle me. Too bad for him that I'm not really ticklish.

"I'm not ticklish, dude," I told him.

"Fuck that."

I had to grin at his totally disgruntled tone as he let go of my arms and sat up.

"How the hell did you know I was ticklish, Beautiful?" he asked with consternation in his voice. "I've managed to keep it from all of the guys for years."

I sat up next to him and put one arm around his shoulder. "Little things. You'd stiffen slightly and smile a little if I brushed up against your side. You always keep your boots on even when we're just hanging out on the couch. I figured you must be a little ticklish."

"Holy hell, Beautiful," he said wonderingly. "You figured it out from that?"

I grinned. "Yep."

"You're amazing, you know that?"

I looked down. "Um…?" How do you answer a question like that? Come on, it's impossible!

His hand lifted my chin. "No, really. You are amazing."

"Amazing enough to get you to tell me what you were whispering?" I asked to change the subject.

He grinned at me. "Not a chance."

"Les!" I whined, giving him the puppy dog eyes and making my lower lip go all pouty. I'd try new a tactic. "Please?"

He had a deer in a headlight look for a minute before he grinned at me. "Not going to work on me, Beautiful."

"Fine," I huffed. "But I'm going to get one of those learn Spanish CD sets! I want to know what you guys are saying when you switch into Spanish."

"I'll teach you Spanish, if you really want to learn it," he offered.

I smiled. "Great! Can we start with what you were saying earlier?"

He laughed. "No. You have to work your way up to advanced Santos sayings first."

"Damn."

He grinned and pulled me close, kissing my temple. "Get packed."

"What?"

"Get. Packed." He repeated in agonizing slowness.

I rolled my eyes. "I understand the words just fine, but I don't get the rationale behind them."

"We're going on a field trip, help you get a little happy back."

That got my attention. "Where are we going?"

He leaned back to look at me. "Vegas, baby!"

I blinked at him. "What?"

"There's no place more fun than Vegas, and you need a little fun after today. So pack your g-string and let's hit the road!"

I laughed. "I love the idea, but I can't afford a field trip right now. But thanks."

"Not optional, Stephanie. I've got plenty of money and a freaking ton of vacation time saved up, and we're going to have a fun week. So get packed or you can do Vegas naked. Which I'm completely fine with, by the way."

"Les, I can't let you do that!"

His eyes turned serious. "Why not?"

"Because… because I can't!" I retorted. Not my most convincing argument ever, but it was the best I could come up with on short notice.

"Beautiful, please? Let me do something nice for you."

Aw hell, he knows I can't refuse when they say please. "Les…" I started before trailing off. "I can't take your money like that!"

"You're not taking anything. I'm offering. I need a vacation in the worst way and I think you could use one too. So let's go for a long weekend, hell, for a long week, and just have fun! Do a little gambling, see some shows, eat bad for us shit. Come on, Beautiful, live a little!"

I nibbled on my lower lip. "Sure you don't want to take one of your myriad conquests instead? Hanging out with me won't be as much fun!"

He smiled and tucked a curl behind my ear. "No one else I'd rather hang out with than you. Haven't you learned that by now?"

I twisted the sheet in my hand. "I don't know."

"Well, decide fast 'cause Bobby will be here in an hour to get us to the airport."

I looked at him. "What?" I shrieked. "An hour?"

Lester winced at my shrill yell. "Plane leaves in three hours and we have to get to the airport and through security and all that shit," he said. "Bobby's packing for me."

Then his face took on a distinctively lecherous look. "Want me to pack your lingerie for you?"

I rolled my eyes and leaped off the bed. "No!"

I stood in the middle of the room uncertain for a minute. "I can't go, Les," I finally said with a sigh.

His arms circled my waist and he rested his chin on the top of my head. "Do you not want to go? I won't make you if you don't want to."

I turned so I was facing him. "Les, of course I want to go! But I need to stick around and keep working or Rex and I…" I trailed off at the realization that I didn't have to worry about keeping Rex in hamster nuggets anymore. I won't deny it. It hurt like hell.

I sucked in a breath as Lester's hands rubbed my back and he started murmuring in Spanish in my ear again. "Or I will be homeless," I finally finished.

"Beautiful, as long as I have a roof, you have a roof. Got it?" he said.

I smiled at the vehemence in his voice. "And what do you think are the odds of getting me to move into RangeMan after everything that happened?"

He laughed. "Just because I spend most of my time there doesn't mean it's the only place I have, Beautiful."

I looked up at him. "Spill."

He grinned at me, his eyes dancing in the afternoon light spilling in through the dingy and dusty mini-blinds. "When we get back, I'll show you." I narrowed my eyes at him. "I promise."

I sighed. "Thanks. But I won't be able to make the rent and pay my bills and stuff if I go off for a whole week."

"It's open ended tickets. We'll come back whenever you want. But don't worry about bills, I'll take care of it."

I narrowed my eyes at him and he rapidly retreated verbally. "Just a little loan between friends until you're back on your feet. But I think you need to get out of here for a little bit."

I rubbed at my head where a headache was building. He brushed my hands away and rubbed my temples. I nearly started purring and I'm pretty sure the bones in my body were dissolving.

He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "So get packed, Beautiful. I have to go take care of a couple of things and then I'll be back. We have," he paused to look at his watch. "We've got fifty-five minutes now."

I blinked at him for a second before dashing towards my closet with muttered curses and I start pulling out shoes and clothes and flinging them on the bed. Lester laughed, patted my ass and then walked out.

I took it down to the wire packing. Good thing I used to be damn good at Tetris or I would have never gotten everything squished into the one checked bag and one carry on bag I was allowed.

Lester came in and easily grabbed the heavy bags. Show off.

I grabbed a big canvas tote bag and shoved my regular purse into it as I followed Lester into the living room. Bobby pulled me into a warm hug when I walked in the room.

"I'm sorry, Bomber," he whispered.

I just nodded, fighting back the tears.

Bobby just squeezed me tighter. "We'll take care of everything here. You two just have a good time."

"'Kay," I replied, gazing in sorrow at the bare spot on my kitchen counter where Rex's cage had sat for years. I guess Les or Bobby had already removed it for me.

Lester handed the bags to Bobby and scooped me up in his arms. I squeaked in surprise and he just chuckled. I tucked my face into his neck as we walked by the kitchen. I didn't want to see the empty spot anymore.

Bobby followed behind us with the bags as we headed down to one of the black SUVs. I blinked when I saw several other men in black waiting for us.

"Sorry about your little guy, Bomber," Cal said as he hugged me. I blinked back tears at the thought that these guys had stopped by to let me know they cared.

I kissed Cal in the center of his tattoo. "Thanks."

Binkie, Hal and Zero were also there and either patted my back or hugged me. I turned back to all of them with a tremulous grin. "Thanks guys. This means a lot to me."

"He was kind of the RangeMan mascot," Binkie said. "We'll miss him too."

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying at the concern in the guys' eyes. "You guys are the best friends a girl could ever have. Thank you!"

Then I threw myself into the back of the SUV before I could start bawling and freak out the men in black. They do not, as a rule, deal well with tears.

I heard a couple of chuckles before the door slammed behind me and I took several deep breaths to regain my composure.

Lester popped in the other side of the backseat a few seconds later. Bobby opened the back and shoved my bags in. Lester wrapped an arm around me and I took a shuddering breath.

"You okay?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

There was a knock on the window next to me and I jumped before hitting the button to roll it down. Cal leaned in with a grin. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Bomber!" he said.

"Which leaves out what, exactly?" I asked.

He just grinned wider. "Not much."

I snorted.

"Have fun!" he yelled as Bobby pulled away. The other guys were yelling too so I stuck my arm out the window to wave goodbye.

We drove in silence for a few minutes before Bobby handed back a big white box. Tasty Pastry!

"Bobby Brown, I love you!" I told him as I snatched it out of his hand. He grinned.

"Hey!" Lester said. "I told him to stop and get them!"

I grinned at him as I shoved a Boston crème into my mouth. "Then I love you too."

"That's better," he said with a grin as he leaned over and snagged one of the donuts.

"You want one, Bobby?" I asked.

He looked at me in the rearview. "Nah, I already had one."

Worked for me. That meant more for me.

I nibbled happily on donuts while we drove to the airport. Bobby and Lester were joking around with each other and didn't seem to need any input from me. That was good because I was still a bit emotional and I didn't really feel much like chatting right now.

Before I knew it, we were at the airport. Bobby pulled smoothly to the curb outside of the terminal. I clambered out, dusting off my hands and trying to wipe my mouth and clean off the chocolate that I was sure was on my lips.

Lester handed me my tote bag and kept control of my checked bag and carry on. He only had one carry on bag. "Where's the rest of your stuff?" I asked.

"I travel light, Beautiful," he said with a grin as he reached out to wipe a bit of chocolate that I'd obviously missed. Then he stuck his thumb into his mouth with a wink at me.

Bobby gave me a big hug before pushing me towards the door. "See you when you get back," he said before slapping Lester on the back and climbing back into the SUV.

We checked in at the little kiosk and then headed towards the security checkpoint. After having a TSA guy make it to second base, we were cleared to continue.

Lester checked his watch and then pulled us over to a restaurant in the concourse.

"What do you want?" he asked as he perused the menu.

"I ate donuts."

"You need some real food too or you'll have a sugar crash a thirty-thousand feet and that won't be pretty."

I grumbled a little but finally ordered a hamburger and fries. It was ridiculously overpriced, as is most airport food, but I figured Lester might be right about the sugar crash. Money had been kind of tight lately, and I hadn't eaten anything other than the donuts today.

Then we hurried up and waited at the gate before our flight was called. A few hours later, we were in Las Vegas!

_**Author's note: **__Thanks for the reviews and private messages! I truly appreciate all of them, and I'm so glad that you're enjoying my Lester lovin' story. I had a blast writing it._

_Please review! Pretty please with a cherry and sprinkles on top? (Hey- it worked when I was a kid!)_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

I'd been there once before to with Samuel Singh had gone FTA, but we hadn't had much time to play while in Sin City. Lester had been there before, big surprise, and he played tour guide as he drove us around in the little red convertible he'd rented for the trip.

We checked into our hotel, where Lester had reserved a two-bedroom suite. But it was the bathroom that became the immediate focus of my love and lust. There was a sunken bathtub almost the size of my entire bathroom at home that made me nearly swoon.

Lester just laughed and promised me lots of soaking time later, but we needed to eat dinner first.

There was a knock on the door as I was unpacking in one of the opulent gold and cream bedrooms. I wandered out to see Lester talking with Erik, one of the guys I'd met during my previous trip to Vegas. He nodded at me and looked around the room anxiously, presumably for Lula and Connie.

I smiled. "It's just us this trip," I reassured him.

He looked faintly relieved as he handed over a bag to Lester. I was assuming it was weaponry since none of the men in black liked being without their guns under any circumstances.

He nodded at Lester and me and then vanished without a word.

"Is it a RangeMan requirement that none of you can talk?" I asked in exasperation.

Lester just looked at me and nodded. I poked him in the shoulder and he laughed, wrapping an arm around my neck. "We all know how to talk, but not of them have my charming demeanor and glib tongue."

I rolled my eyes at him before he pulled a semi-automatic and holster out of the bag and tucked it into his waistband.

"You want anything from the toy bag?" he asked. I peeked in and selected a stun gun and can of defense spray. Hey, you never knew what might happen!

We went out to eat at a restaurant that Lester insisted was heaven on Earth. And he was right. It was out of this world amazing, and Lester was grinning big time at my reactions.

As promised, he let me spend a couple of hours floating languidly in the massive tub when we got back to the hotel.

I was trying my best not to think about Rex, but it was the little things that made me think of his cute little black eyes and twitching whiskers. Like at dinner, there were a couple of shredded carrots in the salad, and I thought about how much Rex would love it if I got him a bag of shredded carrots sometime.

So I tried to be really quiet when I started crying in the tub, hoping that the sounds of the water splashing would cover up my quiet sobs. No such luck.

"Beautiful?" Les asked as he knocked on the door. "You okay?"

I sniffed and had opened my mouth to answer when the door opened. I slumped under the water, hoping that the remaining suds and my hands were enough to cover me as he came into the room.

He sat on the edge of the tub and kept his eyes on my eyes. "You want to talk about it?"

Nope. No way. No siree.

I felt my eyes fill with tears anyway, and he reached out to brush them away. "I know you loved him," he whispered. That did it. I started crying in earnest and he pulled me against his chest and started rubbing my very wet and naked back.

I flung my arms around his waist and held myself tightly against him. He was whispering to me in Spanish and rubbing my back as I got him just as wet as I was. And considering that I had been in a bath up to my neck in bubbles just a moment ago, that was pretty wet.

When I finally pulled away from his hug, I was half dry but he was half wet.

I started at his shirt as I tried to cover myself with my arms. "I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed.

He just chuckled. "No worries, Beautiful. You okay?"

I slouched back under the water. There were decidedly fewer bubbles but I figured anything was better than nothing. I just shrugged. "I know I will be, but I'm not yet."

He stood up and came over with a massive towel the size of most blankets. He held it up for me and tilted his head to look at the ceiling. I grabbed the towel and wrapped myself in it as the water sluiced down my body.

"Get dressed," he ordered as he backed away, still looking everywhere but at me. "We're going back out."

"What?" I asked. "Where?" But he was gone so I didn't get an answer.

"Les!" I yelled. "What should I wear?"

"Whatever you feel like," he told me. "We'll make plans based on whether you're in a short skirt and high heels mood or a jeans and t-shirt mood."

I stood there indecisively for a moment before deciding. I dried off and then dressed in jeans, a cute shirt and sneakers. I washed off my smeared makeup and started over. Luckily, I've been wearing makeup since I was practically still a toddler, so it didn't take me long. I'd pinned my hair on the top of my head during my bath, so it was still mostly okay.

I walked out to find Les sitting on the couch in just a pair of gym shorts. Now, I'd seen the man shirtless before when I used to go to the RangeMan offices on Haywood, but wow. Memory was nothing compared with the reality.

I tried really, really hard not to swallow my tongue when I was confronted with what seemed to be acres of dark honey toned smooth skin over impressively bulging muscles. And the fact that he was relaxed and chilling out on the couch and his muscles were still bulging was very impressive, actually.

"I didn't know we were going with mostly naked as the dress code," I said wryly to try to cover my stunned reaction.

I got a megawatt smile. "I can wait for you to catch up, no problem," he ever so kindly told me.

I rolled my eyes. "Just needed to know what kind of clothes to wear," he said as he stood up and ambled off. I couldn't help myself, I turned to watch him walk away. The view was just that good.

Holy crap, woman! What are you doing? He's a consummate flirt and one of your best friends! Keep your thoughts PG. Yeesh.

He bounced back into the room less than a minute later, clad in well worn jeans that molded to his perfectly toned tush and a tight black t-shirt.

Crap, I'm in trouble.

Les either didn't notice or chose not to call me on my drooling, for which I am devoutly grateful. "Let's roll!" he announced as he herded me towards the door.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

He just grinned mysteriously as we stood in the ornate gold elevator. "You'll see."

Thirty minutes later, we were standing in line for the huge roller coaster perched on the top of a tall casino. I was nervous about it, but excited too. I love roller coasters but I'm not overly fond of heights. So the competing opinions were fighting it out in my stomach.

Finally, we were buckled into the roller coaster car. Les has his arm wrapped around me and I had a death grip on his knee. Then we were off and I was screaming like a banshee.

When the car coasted to a stop, I was laughing hysterically, as was Les. "Omigod!" I exclaimed. "That was great!"

We had to get out then, despite my pout. It had been so much fun, and I'd been so wrapped up in the thrill of the ride to notice the fact that we were dangling off the edge of a very tall building.

We stopped and saw the photos. I had my eyes screwed shut, my curls were flying all over the place and somehow my hand had gone from Les's leg to clutch frantically at the fabric of his shirt. His arm was wrapped around me, pulling me against him as much as the seats would allow, he was looking at me and smiling.

He insisted on buying it despite my protests. Then he dragged me back down to the strip and the waiting car.

The next trip was an indoor sky diving place. I turned to Les with a big grin on my face.

"Time to fly, Wonder Woman," he told me. I nearly strangled him with a hug, amazed that he remembered those stories. He was laughing as I was literally bouncing on the balls of my feet, incredibly eager to give it a shot.

We got suited up and followed the instructor into a large padded room. I nudged Les with my elbow. "You trying to tell me something with the padded room?" I whispered.

I got a big smile and a headshake in reply.

The instructor went through everything with us before flipping a switch. I thought I was ready, but I wasn't quite prepared for the jet of air that shot out of the floor. Les grabbed my hand and flung himself out into a spread eagle position. The wind caught the excess material on the suits and he flew upwards. I followed his actions and was soon flying next to him. I was flying!

We flew for not nearly long enough before the instructor caught our attention before he reduced the air flow. I collapsed to the padded floor in a heap but Les managed to land lightly on his feet. Show off.

He pulled me to my feet and I hugged him again. I actually flew!

He grinned at the look on my face. "How about we go sky diving for real while we're here?" he asked as we went into the prep room to change out of the suits.

I shot him a freaked out look. "Really jump out of an airplane? Are you nuts?"

He burst out laughing. "Debatable. But that's what Rangers do, Beautiful. We jump out of planes to save the world. And I was a jumpmaster, I trained soldiers on how to jump out of planes, so I know I can get you to the earth safely."

"You've done that crap before?"

He chuckled again. "Dozens and dozens of times. I'm sure the exact number is in my military records, but I've done hundreds of jumps. I can get someone to fax my shit over so we can do a tandem dive together, if you're interested."

"Why would someone jump out of a perfectly functional plane?" I wondered aloud.

"Sometimes planes aren't perfectly functional. Sometimes you need to get into a zone fast and you don't have the time for days or weeks worth of hauling ass to get there. And it's fun."

I shook my head. "I still think it's nuts!"

"You had fun in here, right? So give the real thing a try! If you really don't want to, it's not like I haven't jumped out of enough planes already. But I'd love to take you really flying, Beautiful."

I considered it for a minute. "If you can do with me, maybe. I trust you not to let me die."

He grinned and whipped out his cell phone. He was back less than a minute later. "Tank's going to fax my jump records and my jumpmaster certification to the hotel. I'll call tomorrow and find someplace that will take it so we can jump together."

"You really trained people how to do all that?"

He grinned. "I had to shove Ranger out the plane door for his first jump."

I gaped at him. "You have to tell me this story!"

He chuckled. "Well, I'd joined the Army first. I was stationed at Fort Bragg in North Carolina, home of the 82nd Airborne division, and Ranger got sent there for his basic airborne training. I ended up being his jumpmaster since we had different last names and no one knew we were related. Boy, did that piss him off. But like the majority of guys on their first jump, he froze up a little bit. So I shoved him out and went out after him. He cursed me the whole way down, but it didn't matter. He made it and that was the last time I saw him hesitate before jumping. He tried to kill me when we reached the ground, but that's another story."

I shook my head. "It's hard to imagine him afraid of anything."

"Beautiful, everyone's afraid of something. Some people are afraid of spiders or snakes or whatever. Most rational human beings are at least a little bit afraid of jumping out of an airplane at first. He wasn't the first or the last guy I saw freeze up before a jump. But he pushed past it and managed."

"Were you scared your first time?" I queried.

He nodded. "I was scared shitless! But I knew I had to do it, so I somehow sucked it up and jumped. Then I was hooked. It's the best feeling in the world, Beautiful, it really is. There's this freedom when you're freefalling. You control when to pull the cord, when to go into controlled descent. Little shifts in your body can completely change where you land and how long it takes to get there. It's incredible. You'll love it, I'm sure of it."

I nibbled on my lower lip. "And you're sure it's not dangerous? This is me we're talking about, and catastrophe follows me around!"

He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. "I would never do anything to put you in danger. If anything feels off about it, if your Spidey senses tingle, we won't do it. But I can teach you how to parachute no problem."

I thought about it for another minute. "If we can find a place where we'll be together," I finally agreed.

He nodded. "We'll do a tandem dive where we're tethered together. We'll basically be spooning, with you attached in front. So your back will be to my belly."

I shot him a skeptical look. "How do you walk like that?"

He smiled. "Very carefully! You kind of have to shuffle along once we're attached, but then it works great when you're in the air. And I'd be right there next to you if there's any kind of problem or anything."

After the adrenaline rush of the last hour or two, I was starving again, so we found an all-you-can-eat buffet and stuffed ourselves. Les continued to tell me stories about being in the Army and I was amazed at all the training the guys had to go through to be Rangers. It was incredible. I'd have made it one day, possible two, tops.

Even though it was still relatively early by Sin City standards, my New Jersey internal clock was shouting that it was bedtime and for me to get my ass to bed. So we headed back to the hotel. Les had to help hold me up in the elevator since my body had basically decided it was sleepy time whether I was in the appropriate location for sleep or not.

I vaguely remember him helping me to take off my shoes, socks and jeans before tucking me into the big bed. Then I was out.

_**Author's note: **__Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I love 'em, almost as much as I do Lester!_

_Please let me know what you think!_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

I woke up the next morning when Les came in and flopped down on the bed. "Wake up, Sleeping Beautiful!" he called out.

I growled and rolled over, burying my head in the pillows.

"Come on, Steph, time to get up," he tried again.

"No!" I snarled. I'm not remotely a morning person, and nothing short a presidential order was going to get me out of the soft, warm bed.

I felt him brush the hair away from my neck. God, I must look awful. I'm sure my hair was going every which way and I hadn't bothered to take off my makeup, so I probably looked like a bad imitation Salvador Dali painting with my face melting every which way. My eyes popped open against the pillow when he started kissing my neck.

"If you want to stay in bed, I can handle that," he whispered into my ear. Then he laughed out loud when I shot up clutching the blankets to my chest.

"Lester Santos!"

"I love hearing you scream my name," he said with twinkling eyes and a big grin. "Tad on the formal side, though. We'll have to work on that."

I rolled my eyes at him and he chuckled again. "I figured that would get your attention," he told me.

No shit. That would get the attention of a dead woman.

"Why are you in here torturing me?" I asked.

He grinned. "We've got plans for the day and you've only got an hour to get ready," he told me.

"What are we doing today?" I asked, my curiosity winning over the urge to snuggle back down in the bed.

"The Grand Canyon!" he told me with a grin.

"What?"

"We're doing a combo tour of the Grand Canyon. We'll start with a plane ride out, then a helicopter tour, and then a pontoon boat ride down the Colorado River before a bus tour. We can also go hiking but I figured I'd better check with you on that one first."

I thought about it for a second. I'd always wanted to see the Grand Canyon and this was as close as I was ever going to get.

I shooed him out. "If you want me to get dressed, you have to get out."

His eyes gleamed. "And why is that?"

"I'm not wearing any pants."

"And?"

"And get out!" He chuckled again but complied.

We walked off the strip to a little dive that the concierge had recommended to Les, and breakfast was fantastic. It was the best French toast I've ever eaten, hands down. Even Les was making happy noises as we ate, so you know it was good.

By the time we were done, I felt sure I couldn't manage walking back to the hotel even. Not only was the food delicious, but it was also served on plates the size of a small child, so I was completely stuffed. It had been so yummy that I'd eaten way too fast, and by the time my brain told me to stop eating, my stomach was ridiculously full.

We got back to the hotel and I took the opportunity for a potty break before we hung out in the lobby waiting on the tour company bus to pick us up.

It was a fantastic day. The Grand Canyon and Lake Mead were absolutely gorgeous. I did manage the hike down to the overlook with Les's help, so handy to have an Army badass to help you hike, and it was totally worth the effort. I was so enthralled with the view that we had to hustle to get back up to the top to catch the bus.

I was pleasantly tired when we finally got back to the hotel at the end of the day. I went up to take a quick shower and change into less dusty clothes so we could go out to eat. I bumped into Les as he came out of the bathroom, clad only in a tiny white towel, and had to struggle to keep from swallowing my tongue.

We went to one of the casinos and ate dinner while watching a magic show. It was interesting but no way in hell was I volunteering to get sawn in half. With my luck, he'd screw up the trick and I'd actually be cut in half!

During intermission, Les got my attention. "So if you really want to go sky diving, we can do that. A couple of the places I emailed last night got back in touch with me today, and one place was willing to accept my Army jumpmaster quals to let us do a tandem dive."

My eyes went huge. "You really think it will be okay?" I asked nervously.

He just nodded confidently. "I'm sure."

I let out a long breath. "Okay."

I got a big beaming smile as he whipped out his smart phone and sent a quick reply.

Les spent most of the rest of the evening explaining how skydiving works and what we would do tomorrow. I was feeling less freaked out with his calm demeanor and his confidence that we'd be safe.

I was so anxious the next morning that I barely ate any breakfast even though we went back to the same restaurant for breakfast. It was still delicious, but the bowling ball in my stomach didn't leave much room for food.

When we got to the skydiving terminal, I had to sit though a long training and information session. Les sat in on it with me even though I knew that he could probably have run the session in his sleep. He seemed pleased with their presentation, though, so I assumed they had explained everything correctly.

We went into a big room and started putting on our gear. Les insisted on watching the instructor pack our parachute. For security reasons, Les couldn't pack his own chute, but he said that he was damn sure going to watch and make sure it was done correctly. He seemed satisfied and started chatting with the guy.

Another guy ambled up and started a conversation. "Don't be nervous. I've jumped with these guys a dozen times or more. I've got more than twenty dives so far. Have you ever done it before?" he asked me.

I shook my head no. "You can jump with me," he offered.

"I'm jumping with him," I said as I pointed at Les, who was having a conversation with the instructor.

"Has he ever jumped before?" the strange guy asked in a slightly condescending tone.

I nodded. "He was an Army Ranger jumpmaster," I told him. The guy's eyes got huge and he faded away.

Les rejoined me a minute later. "You doing okay, Beautiful?" he asked as he checked my gear to make sure everything was on correctly. He'd already checked me when I put it on, but I guess he was just double-checking.

I just nodded.

"You ready to do this?" he asked.

I shook my head no. He laughed and pulled me into a hug. "You'll be fine. I'll be with the whole way and I won't let anything bad happen."

I sucked in a deep breath and nodded. Then we boarded the small plane.

A bit later, we were air born. Les kept up a running chatter while the plane ascended, and I kept a death grip on his hand. When we got to the jump altitude, the instructor went over everything one more time before people started leaping out the open door. I personally thought they were all nuts and I couldn't believe I was about to be that crazy too!

The instructor pointed at us last and Les and I stood. I stood in front of Les, and he connected us together so I wouldn't fall to my gruesome death. The instructor watched carefully and flashed Les a thumb's up when he was done.

I lowered my goggles and started praying fervently. I reluctantly approached the door. I'm very proud of the fact that I didn't freeze up or freak out, but I have to admit that I was pretty much convinced that I'd lost my ever loving mind and that I was about to die.

"You ready?" Les whispered in my ear.

I crossed myself and nodded. Then he shoved us out the airplane and I started shrieking. After a few seconds of unmitigated panic, I cautiously opened my eyes. Les reached out and unwrapped my arms from around my waist and held them out. We were flying!

After a few seconds, I realized that the tapping on my shoulders was Les trying to get my attention. I looked back and him and he pointed to the side. The instructor was twenty-five feet away with a movie camera. I grinned and waved, and I could feel Les waving too.

We soared through the air for a while until the ground was starting to get freakily close. Then Les wrapped one arm and both legs tightly around me and pulled the parachute cord.

We were jerked upwards so hard and so fast that I couldn't breathe for a few seconds.

Once the whistle of the air flying past was gone, it was strangely quiet and peaceful.

"So what do you think so far?" Les asked in my ear.

I turned as much as I could to look at him and beamed. "It's great!"

He chuckled. "Glad you're enjoying it."

We were both quiet for the long minutes while we floated in the sky. As the ground got closer, Les reminded me how to land together and I sucked in a deep breath and prepared for the landing.

It was much gentler than I'd imagined. I started running the second my feet touched the ground, okay, maybe a few seconds before, and I felt Les touch down a split second after me. We ran for a few feet before stopping.

I was dancing anxiously in the harness as Les brought down the chute and then disassembled the connection points between us. As soon as I was free, I turned around and smothered him in a big bear hug.

"Les! It was amazing! Omigod, it was fantastic!" I shouted as I wrapped my arms and legs around him.

He chuckled and shifted his arms to my ass to hold me up. "I knew you'd like it," he told me as I pressed a big kiss to his lips before releasing him and dancing around in joy.

"You want to go again?" Les asked.

I froze and turned to stare at him with wide eyes. "We can do that?" I asked.

The instructor chuckled. "I'll take you up again for free if I can use some of this footage on our website!" he said.

I turned back to Les, who grinned and nodded. Then I hugged Les again before dashing over to hug the instructor, who was still filming us. Both guys were laughing at my exuberance but I didn't care. I'd flown!

The next trip was already fully booked, so we went to go eat lunch and wander around the airstrip a bit before going up again. I didn't want to eat, afraid I'd get sick or something on the next dive, but Les insisted. "It's a huge adrenaline rush, which is why it's so fun, but that means your blood sugar will crash afterwards. So you have to eat something or I won't risk taking you up again."

I glared at him but ate. I definitely wanted to do it again, so I'd do anything he said.

We had to wait a couple of hours to go up again, but the second time was actually even better than the first time since I didn't spend the first ten seconds completely terrified. I fully enjoyed every second of the dive.

Hours later, I still had a huge smile on my face. It had been the most amazing experience of my life so far.

"Are there places like that in New Jersey?" I asked. Les nodded with a grin.

"I go up every few months at least to keep my skills up," he told me. "You can go with me the next time if you'd like."

I nodded eagerly. "How much is it?" I asked, knowing I'd need to start saving up.

"Don't worry about it," Les replied. I glared at him and he spoke again quickly. "A bunch of us charter a flight for a day and go up and do several dives. So adding you on won't cost anything, so don't worry about it."

My face fell. "I'd hate to intrude on male bonding time," I told him.

"Steph, stop it. You won't be intruding. We'd love to have you there with us. I can't believe I haven't thought about it before, but trust me that you'd be welcome."

I nodded slowly. "We'll see."

Thankfully, he let it drop.

We changed to go out for dinner and dancing. The New York, New York casino had a Rat Pack show, and being from Jersey, we decided that we had to go. We had a nice dinner while enjoying the strains of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr. I was still riding an adrenaline high from the day and the never-ending drinks were making me very warm and happy.

I vaguely remember lots of very close slow dancing with Les and lots of giggling, but that's all I remember of the night.

_**Author's note: **__So they went skydiving and no one died! Yay!_

_Please review!_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

I woke up with a loud groan. King Kong was in my brain and he was playing the bongo drums. Loudly. And King Kong has no sense of rhythm.

I rolled over on the bed and brought my hands to my head to cover my aching eyes. Then I felt the bed shift as a body moved behind.

Oh shit! What kind of mess had I gotten myself into now?

My stomach chose that moment to rebel, and I tried to roll out of the bed and head towards the bathroom. I was tangled up in the sheets, so it took me a minute to get myself free. I fell to my knees as I slid out of the bed, and strong arms picked me up.

I staggered, with help, to the bathroom and proceeded to be violently ill. I hadn't been this sick since my freshman year in college when I went to a frat party with my suitemates during midterms. It had sucked then, and it sucked now.

I managed to pull myself to my feet after a few minutes and brushed my teeth to rid my poor taste buds of the nasty taste lingering in my mouth.

I avoided looking at myself in the mirror, sure that the reflection would turn me to stone. Just call me Medusa.

I opened the door and was not terribly surprised to see Les leaning against the wall, waiting on me. Or maybe he was waiting on the bathroom. It was a one-bathroom suite, after all, and he might need it too.

As soon as I was through the door, Les reached out for me. "You okay, Beautiful?" he asked into my hair as he pulled me into a hug.

I shook my head no. "I've haven't been this hung over since I was eighteen. What the hell did we do?"

I felt his shrug and then heard him swallow hard. "I don't remember."

Neither did I.

We stumbled together back towards the bed. "Just sleep," he told me as he crawled in next to me. "We'll figure it out when we're not half-drunk."

Sounded like a good plan to me. He curled around me, his front to my back, and I fell back asleep.

When I woke up the next time, King Kong wasn't quite so loud and obnoxious. I was still tucked against Les. I lay there quietly and tried to think about what had happened the night before.

"You awake?" Les whispered.

I nodded.

"You need anything?" he asked.

"New head?" I replied gingerly, afraid of pissing off King Kong.

"How about water and ibuprofen?" he countered.

"Or that," I agreed. I sat up slowly and he handed me a bottle of water. I took a few sips while he opened the bottle of pills. I took the four pills offered to me and then offered him the bottle of water back if he needed to take some.

He declined. "Already took some. Not working yet, but I took them."

I nodded and then laid back down with a soft groan.

"What do you remember about last night?" he asked a minute later.

"Dinner and dancing at the Rat Pack show," I told him. "Everything's fuzzy after that. You?"

"I vaguely remember the Sinatra impersonator coming over to talk to us, but I don't remember much after that."

I groaned and put my arm over my face. My eyes snapped open when Les grabbed my hand and jerked it off my forehead.

"What the?" I yelped as I looked at him in askance.

He was staring intently at my hand. I shifted my gaze from his eyes to my hand and felt my stomach start to roil again.

There was a shiny silvery ring on my left hand. A wedding band.

We stared at my hand in shock for a minute before he lifted his left hand to where we could both see it. A matching wedding band.

"Oh my God," I whispered. "Did we…?" I trailed off.

He swallowed and then nodded slowly. "Seems like it. I think we got married, Beautiful."

I think I passed out at that point.

When I became aware of the world again, Les was hovering over top of me. "Stephanie!" he was calling as he patted my cheek. "Slow, deep breaths, Steph. That's it. Slow, deep breaths."

I sucked in a shuddering breath and tried to sit up. His arm was behind my back almost instantly.

"What happened?" I asked shakily.

He looked incredibly anxious. "I think you had a panic attack."

I mulled that over for a minute. If I was going to ever have a panic attack, this seemed like as good a reason as any.

"So what do we do now?" I asked.

Les shot me a strained grin. "Live happily ever after?"

I groaned. "Like anyone would ever be happy married to me!"

"I would be," he responded softly.

"What?" I was sure my ears were still drunk. At the very least, they were hallucinating.

"Look, we can't do anything about it right this minute. So let's try to get cleaned up and eat something and then we'll figure it out. Okay?"

I nodded. "Can I have the shower first?" I asked timidly.

He nodded. "Let me use the bathroom for a minute first, and then I'll order some food while you're in the shower," he said.

I nodded and watched as he climbed unsteadily out of the bed. He had to stand still for a moment once he was standing before he strode towards the bathroom. Despite everything, I couldn't help but notice that he was only wearing a tiny pair of black silk boxers.

Oh shit, what was I wearing? I peeked under the covers. Phew, I was still in my bra and panties, but I was starkers otherwise. I gave an experimental wiggle and it didn't feel like we'd done anything. Surely I would know if we'd had sex, right?

I looked around and spotted our clothes piled in the corner.

He came back out of the bathroom and walked towards me. I took a quick peek at the front of his tiny boxers. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd have remembered _that_.

"All yours," he told me as he looked around in confusion. I pointed towards the corner and he went and picked up his clothes. I nearly had a panic attack again as the miniscule fabric of his boxers pulled tightly across his ass as he bent over.

"Yell if you need me," he murmured. "I'll be in the living room or my bedroom."

I just nodded, not trusting my voice, and he quietly slipped out of the bedroom.

I got up and managed to get myself into the bathroom without breaking any bones. I was proud of myself for that.

I took a long, hot shower and tried to gather my thoughts. I'd never thought that I'd ever get married again, but especially not to someone who thought of me like his little sister. Aw, hell, this was going to be a long day.

I dried my hair and decided to go with just a bit of tinted moisturizer. I was too tired to do the full make up thing right now, plus Les was probably anxious to take a shower too.

"Your turn," I called out softly as I went into the bedroom I'd claimed for the trip, clad only in my towel.

By the time I'd gotten dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, I heard the shower shut off. I was in the living room munching on a few home fries and a Coke when Les walked into the room in jeans and a green t-shirt.

"This was as close as I could get to your cure," he told me as he sat down next to me and reached for a plate of eggs, sausage, toast and home fries.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

We ate in silence, our usual banter and camaraderie noticeably absent. I was feeling awkward and uncomfortable and I could barely sit still next to him.

We both finished breakfast and sat our plates on the coffee table.

I fiddled with the hem of my t-shirt while Les was absolutely stock-still.

"Steph," he said as he reached out to stop my hands from fidgeting. My eyes flew up to look at him momentarily before I had to look away.

"We need to talk about this," he said with a sigh as he pulled me into a hug. I resisted at first, but he just rubbed my back and held me to him.

I nodded reluctantly.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he asked.

I shrugged. "Don't know yet. I don't think I've been able to wrap my head around it yet." I paused for a second. "What about you?"

I felt him suck in a deep breath. "It's a surprise," he finally said.

I bit back a snort at that. No kidding.

"But not necessarily a bad one, at least for me," he continued. I pulled back to look at him in shock.

"Just hear me out," he said anxiously as I started to open my mouth. I closed my mouth and nodded. What the hell?

"It's a surprise. I know you never planned to get married again and this wasn't exactly how I'd ever thought about it happening, but apparently we got married. So now we just have to figure out how to handle it. And for me, well, I'm okay with it."

I blinked at him. "What?" Not my most astute comment ever, but it would do under the circumstances.

He just continued to look at me steadily, so I sucked in a deep breath and thought furiously. "I just don't want this to destroy our friendship," I finally said.

"What if I don't want to be your friend?" he asked.

I pulled back in shock and tried to keep the tears out of my eyes. He doesn't want to be my friend anymore?

"Oh fuck," he groaned as I tried to pull away. "That's not how I meant it!"

He shoved his hand through his hair and then took in and let out a deep breath. He took both of my hands in his and waited until I looked at him. "What I mean is that I don't want to be _just_ your friend. Stephanie, Beautiful, I've fallen in love with you."

Things went a little fuzzy there for a minute, whether because I had another panic attack or because there were too many tears in my eyes for me to see clearly, I'm not sure.

"What?" I finally uttered as I looked up at him. "How?"

He was looking as anxious as I'd ever seen him. He clutched my hands more tightly. "I've been in love with you for a long time. Once you told me about things with Ranger, well, I figured that was the only chance I was ever going to get. So I've been trying to spend time with you, hoping that maybe one day you'd be willing to give me a chance to be more than just a friend."

I sucked in a deep breath. And then another. And another. Once I had my heart rate and breathing under control, I looked back at him with questions in my eyes.

He winced. "I thought you were dating Ranger, so I accepted just being your friend as all it would ever be. Then he was gone and you were looking to move on, and I realized I might have a shot in hell in showing you how I felt, but you always teased me about being a playboy. So I've been trying to show you that I'm more than just a joker and a player."

I blinked at him. "I know you're more than just that," I told him softly. "You're my best friend."

"Do you think you could ever think of me as more than just your best friend?" he asked so quietly I could barely hear him. I looked up at him and he looked like he was about to puke.

My brain was frozen in shock. And the hang over probably didn't help.

I guess I was silent for too long. His shoulders slumped as he let out a sigh. "It's okay. We'll just stay friends."

He started to stand and I tried to stop him. "Stop," I cried.

He struggled to stand up and I could have sworn I saw tears in his beautiful green eyes. "It's okay, Beautiful. I'll be fine, I just need a minute."

I threw myself in his lap to keep him from standing.

"Stop it, Les!" I almost yelled as I wrapped my arms and legs around him so he couldn't move. Well, he's a Merry Man so clearly he could move, but I didn't think he take the chance of dumping me in floor, so I figured it would work nevertheless.

He froze and then gradually leaned back against the cushions.

I tucked my head into where his neck met his shoulder. "I… I just don't know what to say. I've never thought about you as anything other than a friend. You were one of Ranger's guys and then my friend, and I… well, I just haven't thought about anything more than that with you."

I lifted my head and shot him a pleading look. "But I'd like to try."

His breath whooshed out and his arms came around me. "Really?" he asked hesitantly.

I nodded. "Maybe try taking it slow?" I whispered softly.

He started laughing and I must have look startled. "Well, we're already married, so I don't know how slow we can go," he explained with a chuckle.

I had to grin slightly as I shook my head. "What do we do about that?" I asked.

One hand was resting on my hip just above my ass and the other was playing with my hair. "What do you want to do?"

"I asked you first," I said as I channeled my inner fifth-grader.

He chuckled slightly. "It's not how I ever planned to get here, but I'd like to be married to you, Beautiful."

I sucked in a breath. I was not expecting that.

I lifted my head to look at him. His green eyes were full of love and tenderness. I was surprised and a little scared at the emotions in his eyes.

I nibbled on my lower lip as I tried to process everything, and I saw his gaze drop from my eyes to my lips.

"Don't," he whispered softly as his hand came up from my hip to soothe my lip. I froze and gasped softly. His eyes met mine as he slowly leaned in closer to me, waiting for me to object. I didn't.

Then his lips replaced his thumb. They were warm and firm as they brushed my lips. My eyelids swept shut as I leaned slightly against him and kissed him back.

The hand that had been playing with my curls slid firmly into my hair, holding my head steady as he ravaged my lips. I gasped at the sensation and he took advantage of the movement to sweep his tongue inside my mouth.

I moaned at the feelings this stirred in me and shifted closer to him. He pulled me tighter against his chest and growled softly in response. I slid my hands up and over his chest to wrap around his neck and press myself against him. He growled in approval and slid one hand down my back to knead my ass as he pulled me very tightly to him.

I tore my lips away from his with a gasp as I tried to get some oxygen into my lungs. He simply started kissing my neck, which made the whole getting oxygen thing hard since I couldn't breath when he was doing that.

And my breathing wasn't the only thing that was hard, let me tell you. In our intimate position with me straddling him, I was acutely aware of his hardness pressing against me. I got a rush just thinking about it.

I shifted my hips against his and he groaned, and then nipped hard at my neck in retaliation. I moaned and writhed against him.

He groaned again and pulled my ass more tightly against him as his hips lifted and he thrust against me. One hand slid up under my shirt and stroked my bare back. I shivered in response and then my shirt was simply gone. It vanished, just like magic.

Then his magical lips were lavishing attention to the swell of my breasts above my bra. I felt his hands creeping towards the back of my bra at the same time I heard a knock on the door.

"Housekeeping," a voice announced.

I jumped off of Les's lap and raced for the bedroom. I pushed the door mostly closed and listened as I scrounged around for a shirt.

"Not right now, thanks," Les said.

"Okay," I heard. "Call the front desk if you need us to come back."

I heard Les crossing the room and then the door swung open silently. "Steph?"

I smiled weakly as I smoothed the shirt down. "Hi."

He leaned against the door jam and smiled at me. "Hi. You okay?"

I just nodded. He walked across the room and pulled me unresistingly into his arms. "You're not okay. What's wrong?"

I shrugged.

"Steph, you have to talk to me. I know something's wrong but I can't read your mind," he countered.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and tucked my head against his chest. "Just trying to catch my breath," I finally told him.

He chuckled, his chest rumbling under my ear. "Me too. But hey, at least we know we have a little chemistry together."

I leaned back to shoot him an incredulous look before reburying my head in his chest.

"Alright, more than a little," he amended. I nodded.

"Speaking of which, where were we?" he asked as he started nuzzling my neck.

I shot away from him like a bat out of hell. He looked confused. It was adorable. Dangerous for my sanity, but adorable.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I told him. "Not if we're going to try to take things slow."

I was twisting the hem of my shirt nervously so with a deep breath, I forced my hands to stop.

He looked at me for a minute before nodding. "If that's what you want," he agreed.

"Don't get me wrong, I want to… well, I want," I mumbled as I blushed bright red. "But I think we need to figure stuff out before we add that complication to this."

"Okay. So let's talk about this a little more," he said as he held out his hand to me. I took it and we walked back into the living room.

We sat on the couch and turned to face each other. "So how do you want this to work?" he asked after a few seconds of silence.

I chuckled but it wasn't because anything was funny. "I don't have the faintest idea."

He grinned at my candor. "Fair enough."

I lay my head against the back of the couch. "We've never tried dating, so maybe just try dating for a while? See if we can handle each other like that?"

"What do you call the last six months?" he countered.

"Hanging out. There was none of the dating worries, like will he think I'm pretty? Does he want to kiss me? Do I want to kiss him? Does he want to take it further than kissing? Should I do that? Those sorts of things."

"Yes, you're pretty. Yes, I want to kiss you, preferably as much as humanly possible. And yes, I want to do more than just kiss you. But whether or not you want to kiss me or sleep with me is up to you and I will never force you into anything," he told me as he tipped my chin so I had to look at him.

I blushed and he kissed the tip of my nose.

"Can you be patient while I try to figure this out?" I asked.

"Absolutely," he said with complete conviction.

I looked up to smile at him. "Can I kiss you?" he asked huskily.

I blushed but nodded. Then his lips were on mine, soft and sweet. When he pulled back, I figure we were both a little dazed.

"Just so you know," he said as he pulled me to rest against his side with his arm over my shoulder, "I've wanted to kiss you for years now. And I don't see that changing anytime soon."

"But… but…" I sputtered.

He laughed and kissed the top of my head. "But you were with Morelli or Ranger and I didn't want to interfere."

I sighed and melted against him. "You know, I kind of wish you would have!"

He laughed loudly. "If I'd had any idea that you wouldn't have run away screaming, I might have," he mused.

"So how's this dating thing going to work, Beautiful?" he asked after a few moments of companionable silence.

"I don't know, exactly. Hang out, go out, that sort of things. Really the only difference is that now I know you're not thinking of me like your little sister!" I told him.

"Baby, I never thought of you as my little sister!" he said.

"That's kind of how it felt to me," I told him quietly. "You were sometimes flirty, but always in a joking way, and it was pretty rare."

He sighed. "I was trying to not scare you off, and instead I almost convinced you that I was your freaking brother. Smooth move, Santos," he muttered to himself.

"Hey, stop that," I told him. "I'd always heard about what a lady killer you were, and you never treated me like that, so I just figured you thought of me as a friend and nothing more."

"Oh I thought about a lot more than being just friends," he assured me, "as I'm more than happy to demonstrate whenever you're ready for that. But I would never treat you like any random girl at a club, Beautiful. I love you too much for that."

I blushed bright red and had to tamp down the initial impulse to tell him to him that I'd always learned best from hands-on demonstrations.

"I didn't know," I finally said.

"I know. I was trying to work up the nerve to say something, but I guess it took lots of booze and a Sinatra impersonator for me to man up."

I giggled. "Am I that scary?"

"No, Beautiful, you're not scary, except that you have the power to rip my heart into little pieces. I was scared that you'd tell me I'd lost my mind if I admitted how I felt about you, so I was just trying to show you how I felt rather than tell you."

"Gotta tell you, sometimes the words are important. It would have been nice to know that I wasn't just your little sister at some point in the last six months. Might have prevented my freak out earlier."

"Now you tell me!"

I giggled at his mock chagrined tone.

He played with my curls for a few more minutes. "So dating for a while, huh?" he asked.

I nodded. "And I'm not as easy as most of your other dates, Santos, so don't be expecting anything!"

He groaned. "Damn!" I had to giggle. "I know you're not easy, Beautiful. And I'll try not to expect anything. Wish, hope, pray, those are different things entirely."

I smiled. "You can wish, hope and pray. You can even try to persuade. But you have to stop when I say stop, alright?"

"Oh, I'm very persuasive," he murmured into my ear. I shivered. No shit!

He was very persuasive for the next several minutes before I pulled away with a sigh.

"What do we do about the whole drunk marriage thing?" I asked.

He stilled for a moment. "I'll have my lawyer check into options," he finally said. "Then we can go from there. But to be honest, I want to be married to you, if you want me like that."

"Can we just try dating for a while first to see?" I asked. "I really don't want to get divorced again, and this is kind of a shocker. So can we just take some time before we make any decisions either way?"

He let out a breath and smiled at me. "Yeah. Take all the time you need, Beautiful."

We just sat on the couch together for a long time, until I startled both of us by yawning unexpectedly.

Les stood up and offered me his hand. I took it and looked at him in confusion when he pulled me to my feet. "I think we could both use a nap," he told me as he pulled me towards his bedroom.

He pulled off his shirt and I grabbed it before he could toss it on the floor. I dashed into the bathroom, took care of Mother Nature, and changed out of my jeans and t-shirt and into his big shirt before returning to the doorway to stare nervously at him as he lay in the bed waiting on me.

"I like seeing you in my shirt," he whispered huskily. I blushed and walked over slowly. He lifted up the blankets and I slid in next to him. He pulled me to his side and spooned me.

"Sweet dreams, Beautiful," he whispered into my ear before kissing my cheek. I was pretty sure they'd be sweet. Also probably hot, but certainly sweet.

_**Author's note: **__As several of you guessed, they're married! Oh come on, they're drunk and in Vegas, so it probably wasn't a big shocker. So what do you think happens next?_

_Please review! Or I'll pout and it's not a good look on me._


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

Les woke me up a couple of hours later. "Your stomach is complaining," he told me. "Let's go out for dinner."

I went into the bathroom and cleaned up a little before heading into my bedroom to get dressed. "Your turn," I called out as I left the bathroom.

"See how well we're managing this cohabitation thing already," he called out as I heard the bathroom door close.

I had to smile at his comment. When I came out of the bedroom, I had on a pair of wide legged black crepe pants and a silky blue tank top. I could dress the outfit up with the sweater I was holding in my hands or leave it off for a more casual look.

I got a big smile for my efforts. "You look beautiful, Beautiful," he told me as he kissed my cheek.

I smiled. "Thanks. You look pretty good yourself." And he did. He was in a pair of black Dockers and a charcoal grey polo shirt.

He put his hand to the small of my back and escorted me out the door. "What are you in the mood for?"

"No preference," I told him. "Maybe not Italian since we had that last night and we know how weird that became."

He smiled at me. "We'll ask for recommendations."

We stopped at the concierge desk and Les was excited to hear about a Cuban restaurant in town, and I told him that was perfectly fine with me. So we loaded into his cute little convertible, put the top down and meandered down the brightly lit Las Vegas strip.

At the restaurant, Les ordered me all kinds of Cuban food. He said it all looked fairly authentic, but no way was it as good as his abuela's cooking. Then he had to tell me who the heck his abuela was. It's his grandmother, and it's the Cuban grandmother he shares with Ranger. Turns out she's a real dynamo and the world's best cook.

I was looking forward to meeting her!

"I'm looking forward to you meeting my family," he assured me. "They'll love you."

"Really? Why?"

He smirked at me. "Cuban women tend to be very strong and opinionated. And you definitely fit the bill! Plus you're kind and smart and funny. Trust me, they'll adore you."

I shot him a disbelieving look but the appetizers arrived then. "Did you order one of everything?" I asked in shock as the waiter kept laying out dishes.

Les grinned at me. "Pretty much! I'm hungry and this is your first experience with Cuban food!"

It was incredible. I liked it all. I was already getting full after the sea of appetizers, but then the main dishes arrived. Oh. My. God.

He'd ordered two dishes for us to share, ropa vieja, a shredded beef dish with tomatoes, and arroz con pollo, a chicken and rice dish. Both were to die for.

A band had started playing sultry salsa music halfway through dinner, and Les pulled me to the dance floor as soon as we finished dinner. I'd learned to salsa dance back in college, so it didn't take me long to remember the basic steps. Les was a far better dancer than the Patrick Swayze wannabe I'd dated back in college, though.

We danced until Les saw dessert arrive at our table. He'd ordered flan and tres leche cake. There were both strong contenders with pineapple upside down cake for my favorite dessert now.

I think I spent the entire time moaning in gustatory appreciation. He had a big grin; he was very pleased that I enjoyed the food he'd grown up with.

He also ordered a regular mojito for him and a pineapple mojito for me. I shot him a look and reminded him that drinking had gotten us into trouble the night before. He just grinned and promised this would be his only drink.

Then we hit the dance floor again and danced until my heels were killing my feet and the Cuban drinks Les kept ordering for me were starting to make my brain a bit fuzzy. I didn't want to end up married by a Cuban Elvis next, so I asked for only non-alcoholic drinks from then on.

We stayed at the restaurant until I was about to fall asleep. The music was great and I enjoyed listening to Les tell me stories about growing up half Cuban. I even shared a few stories about growing up half Italian and half Hungarian.

The wind in my face and hair as we drove back to the hotel woke me up. So Les pulled out his phone, downloaded a couple of songs and then taught me to samba. I'd been too embarrassed to try it in a restaurant full of people, but it was okay in the living room with just us. So he shoved the coffee table out of the way and walked me through all the steps. The man has moves, and all of them are sexy as hell.

When I started yawning again, Les sent me off to get changed. "So my bed or yours?" he asked with a mock (or not?) leer.

I blushed. "What happened to taking it slow?" I countered.

"I never said anything about sex," he replied, "but I'm sure you could convince me if you put your mind to it."

I rolled my eyes at him. "No doubt."

He just grinned at me. "Just sleeping, Beautiful. I just want to hold you while we sleep."

I shot him a disbelieving look and he put one hand over his heart. "Word of an Army Ranger, I promise."

I narrowed my eyes at him but nodded. "As long as you behave yourself," I finally agreed. "And I don't care which room, they're pretty much the same."

He grinned. "We'll do mine tonight and yours tomorrow night. See, we can compromise!"

I rolled my eyes at him and went to get ready for bed. I was brushing my teeth when he knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" I mumbled around my toothbrush.

"Can I make a request?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Wear my shirt again?"

I looked down at my body and smirked to myself. So I just opened the door and let him see me in his green t-shirt. He smiled and walked in, picking up his toothbrush and brushing his teeth. Then he shaved while I washed off my makeup and went though my nightly skincare routine.

"Shaving at night?" I asked in confusion.

He shot me a cocky grin. "I was hoping to kiss you a little before we fell asleep, and I don't want you to have beard burn."

I blushed and finished applying moisturizer. I held the little jar of facial moisturizer out to him.

"What's that?" he asked as he took it.

"Moisturizer."

"And what am I supposed to do with it?"

"Put it on your face so your skin is soft and pretty."

"And why do I want pretty skin?"

"So it won't hurt my skin when I make out with you."

He put some on.

We cuddled together on his big bed for a while, talking and kissing, until I eventually fell asleep while he was talking about his house back in Trenton. I tried to stay awake, I really did, but I just couldn't.

We woke up the next morning and cuddled for a while before Mother Nature drove me out of the bed. We went out for breakfast, walking hand in hand this time. Then we spent part of the late morning and early afternoon in the casinos. I lost at every game, but Les won a couple of times, enough that he was in the positive when we left.

"Not fair," I complained.

He just grinned at me. "Why not? We won, what's mine is yours now."

I just stuck my tongue out at him and pouted slightly. He managed to cajole me back into a good mood with a few minutes of necking on the couch, not that I really needed that much persuasion.

We just spent the day wandering around town. It was fun and very low key, and exactly what we both needed after the drama of the previous day.

When we got back to the hotel room after dinner, there was a medium sized box sitting on the coffee table. Les was very cautious in opening it, guess he figured my Bombshell abilities had followed us to Las Vegas.

Once he had determined that it wasn't a threat, we opened it together. It was our wedding video and a book full of photos.

My heart leapt into my throat as we flipped through the photos. I was in a sexy red dress and heels and Les was in black slacks and black dress shirt. We did look very happy and in love in those pictures. Too bad neither of us could remember it.

We watched the video, which also included clips of us dancing at the Rat Pack show. Those clips were clearly from security cameras since the quality was slightly grainy, but it was really interesting to see the evolution of the night.

We were both clearly tipsy and neither of us could stand up straight without assistance. How the heck was it legal for someone to marry us when we were obviously not in our right mind?

Les didn't have an answer for that.

Then Frank Sinatra came over and sang to us as we danced. Les announced to Frank that we were both from New Jersey and Frank struck up a conversation with us after the show. At some point, Les turned to me and confessed that he loved me. I had just blinked at him in shock before I started giggling. What? I'm a happy drunk. Better than being a surly drunk, right?

Then it was Frank's idea that since we were in Vegas, we should get married, and it just so happened that he was a licensed minister in the church of Sinatra and he'd be happy to get us hitched. Les agreed it was a great idea and dragged me off in Frank's wake.

I just giggled through the whole wedding ceremony, but I guess that Frank took giggling as agreeing.

Thirty minutes or so later, we were married.

Holy mother of God!

My mother was going to kill me. I leaned against Les with a groan. "What's wrong, Beautiful?" he asked.

"My mom's going to kill me!"

He just laughed. "I'll keep you safe," he promised. I was going to hold him to that.

I shot him a concerned look and he correctly read it. "What is it?"

I sighed. "Just wondering how to handle this when we get back to real life."

"How do you want to handle it?"

I nibbled on my lower lip and he leaned in to kiss me to make me stop. After a few minutes, I released the fabric of his shirt and leaned back.

I sucked in a deep breath. "Where were we?"

He smirked at me. "Figuring out how to handle things when we're back at home."

Oh yeah. "I was thinking maybe to keep it quiet until we figured out if we wanted to get an annulment or whatever or stay married," I suggested quietly.

"If that's what you want," he agreed.

I looked at him in exasperation. "Stop it!"

He looked taken aback. "What?"

"Agreeing with everything I say! That's not the Lester Santos I know, and frankly, I want him back!"

His grin grew. "You want me back, huh?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes at him. "You know what I mean! I appreciate the fact that you're trying to do what I want, but I also need to know what you want. There's no way we can have a relationship of any kind, let alone be freaking married, if you just agree with me even if it's not really what you want!"

Actually, that sounded a lot like the marriage my parents have. But I don't want that.

He was silent for a minute. "I'd like to be married to you forever, make love to you three times a day until the end of time and tell everyone and their cousin that you're mine now. But I get that this is a much newer idea for you. I've had a long time to come to terms with how I feel about you. You've had barely a day. So I'm okay with waiting for you to figure things out. Just fair warning, I'm going to do everything in my power to convince you that I'm the best man for the job and to show you how much I want the job as your husband."

I blushed a little. Three times a day? I'd never walk again.

"Speaking of feelings, how do you feel about me?" Les asked hesitantly.

I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. "I… I don't know. I mean, I know I really like you. I love hanging out with you. But I'm still trying to figure it all out so I don't really know yet." I paused for a minute. "I'm sorry," I apologized miserably.

He pulled me to his chest. "It's okay, Beautiful. I wasn't expecting declarations of undying love or anything like that. I can deal with the fact that you're in like with me. I just needed to be sure you were starting to think of me as someone other than your brother."

I snorted. "Granted, I don't actually have a brother, but I can promise you that I'd never kiss my brother like I've kissed you over the last twenty-four hours!"

"Good to know," he replied. "So we'll keep it quiet for now. I'm launching Operation: Win Over Beautiful right now and you can just let me know when I'm successful and we'll go public."

"Feeling optimistic, are we?" I asked sarcastically.

He smiled at me. "A winner never quits and a quitter never wins," he told me. I knew I'd heard that quote before so I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. "Old baseball quote my dad loves," he told me.

"You didn't run away screaming when I told you I loved you, which gives me hope," he confessed. "I know you're the woman for me, so now I just have to convince you that I'm the man for you. And you said I could try to persuade you, so by God, I will give it my absolute best effort. And I damn well don't intend to fail at this!"

It was incredibly flattering to have this amazing, and hot, man declare that he loved me and that he was going to convince me that he was the man for me. And frankly, I hoped he succeeded. I'd have to think about that a little more when I had some private time.

"For now, though, I know the way to your heart is through food and flying. So how about going skydiving again tomorrow?"

I looked at him eagerly and nodded.

He smiled and kissed me gently. "I love how interested you are in the things I love, like skydiving and psychology," he murmured against my lips. "I love how soft you are where I'm hard. I love how much joy you take in life. I love you, Beautiful, and I'm never going to let you forget it."

Sounds like a good plan to me.

We kissed and cuddled on the couch for a while until I started to yawn. Then we got ready for bed and, true to his word, we slept in my bed this time.

_**Author's note: **__ Thank you for all of the reviews! They make me smile like you wouldn't believe!_

_So they're slowly moving in the right direction, but Steph's more than a little gun shy and it's going to take time (and a little drama, since I like drama) for her to come around completely. _

_So what do you think of their casual time hanging out? Hit the review button and let me know, please!_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

For once, he didn't have to drag me kicking and screaming out of bed. I knew we were going skydiving again, so I was actually eager to get going. Amazing, I know.

Les was thoroughly amused at my excitement, and I was actually the one trying to hurry him along so we wouldn't miss the first trip. We had a great day and we were actually able to do four trips. So I'd done six jumps now, all in tandem with Les.

"Now that you've done a bunch in tandem, we could start training you towards doing solo jumps," he offered. I shook my head no and clutched him tightly.

"It's okay, baby, if you're not ready for that yet," he soothed. "You just let me know when you're ready."

I nodded against his chest. While I was having lots of fun with skydiving, I wasn't quite ready to have to do it all for myself. But knowing me, I'd get to the point soon enough where I wanted to be independent even with jumping out of an airplane.

We had dinner at the little restaurant recommended for breakfast a lifetime ago when we went to the Grand Canyon, and it was equally delicious for dinner.

When we got back to the hotel, I used Les's smart phone, which I expected could communicate with the space station, to check my email. I had a pissy email from Vinnie demanding to know when I'd be back. Connie had also emailed me that I had several new skips.

I emailed both Vinnie and Connie back to let them know why I was out of town and that I'd be back soon.

"Guess we should plan to head back soon," I said sadly as I sat with my feet in Les's lap. "The natives are getting restless with me gone, and I'm sure the Merry Men miss you too."

He shrugged. "I haven't had a real vacation in years, so they can just suck it up and deal with it," he replied. "And being with you is much better than hanging out with them."

I smiled. "Still, if I don't want to get fired, I should probably get back to the office sooner than later. Skips aren't going to chase themselves!"

He grinned and pulled me into his lap. "No, but I could let you chase me around a little bit. I might even let you catch me."

I tilted my head to the side flirtatiously. "And what would I do with you once I caught you? You don't have any outstanding warrants that I'm aware of."

His eyes darkened and his smile turned sexy. "I could make a few suggestions," he whispered huskily. Gulp.

I grinned back. "Just a few?"

"More than a few. I could come up with dozens, hundreds, maybe even thousands of suggestions," he growled against my neck.

We made out for a while before I reluctantly brought his attention away from my boobs and back to the matter at hand.

"So when should we leave?" I gasped.

He sighed and leaned his forehead against mine. "I'll check the airlines, but how about the day after tomorrow? Maybe mid-morning, if they have it, get back early enough for us both to get a little rest before heading back to the salt mines?"

I nodded. Sounded reasonable.

I took a bath in the massive tub while Les checked the flight info. He padded into the bathroom a bit later and stripped down before sliding into the tub behind me. It was definitely big enough for two, but I didn't quite know how to deal with the fact that we were both naked. And pressed tightly together.

"Just relax, Beautiful," he whispered as he took the loofah in hand and started rubbing it across my back. "I promised I wouldn't try to force you into anything and I won't. But I started having impure thoughts about you and this tub the minute I saw it, and I'm running out of time. I've booked us to leave at 10:45 am day after tomorrow."

I was vaguely aware of the flight details. I was much more aware of his hands on my bare skin. We took turns washing each other and I'm surprised that all the water didn't turn into steam from the heat we generated together.

I'm not sure how I managed to keep a grip on my hormones and not ravage him in the bathtub. My self-control must be improving.

Rats.

He helped me out of the tepid water and dried me gently with a towel. I blushed the entire time and kept trying to cover myself, but he just kept whispering in a sexy Spanish accent how beautiful I was and how much he loved me and that he loved that I trusted him this much. I returned the favor and dried him off and then dressed in the t-shirt he'd dropped carelessly on the floor. It smelled like him and made me feel safe.

We snuggled together in his bed and fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

He was nibbling on my neck the next morning. And since he was sleeping in the buff, I was acutely aware of how happy he was to see me. He finally forced himself out of bed, claiming that it was too much temptation.

I blushed bright red and tried to bury myself in the blankets. He just laughed and pulled me out of the bed and carried me into the shower. I was laughing while beating at his shoulders to try to get him to put me down.

He just laughed at me and pretended to drop me. I shrieked and wrapped my arms more tightly around his neck.

He pushed me towards the shower and then he started to shave and brush his teeth. When I finally clambered out, clad only in a towel, he shot me a wolfish grin and patted my ass as he walked bare as the day he was born into the shower I had just vacated.

I dried my hair while he was showering, and was almost done with it when he came up behind me to nuzzle my neck.

"So what are we doing today?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "We've done the major things, gambling, shows and the like. So is there anything you wanted to do that we haven't done yet?" he asked.

I thought about it for a minute. "Not really. We're so close to New York and Atlantic City that there's not a ton here that we can't do there. How about you? Anything else you want to do?"

"Other than you?" he asked with a smirk. I rolled my eyes. "Not really. I've been here before in my misspent youth."

So in the end, we spent the day wandering the opposite end of the strip from the previous day. We'd go into stores and places as the urge caught us. We ended up in a wax museum and had a good time making up stories about the wax figures. He has a wicked sense of humor and a very creative imagination, so he had me laughing so hard I nearly peed on myself by the time we left.

We had a very casual dinner and then Les convinced me to head back to the Cuban restaurant for dancing and dessert, not that I needed much convincing.

We got back to the hotel and fell into my bed to sleep cuddled together.

The next morning was spent packing up before we headed to the airport.

"I'm going to miss this convertible," I told Les sadly. "It's fun."

"Wait 'til you see my garage," he promised.

"Why? What's in your garage?" I asked suspiciously. The last time a guy had asked me into his garage, I'd ended up playing choo-choo with an eight-year-old Joe Morelli. And I never got to be the train.

"My Shelby Mustang convertible," he told me with a grin.

"Ohmigod, you have a Mustang convertible and I'm just now hearing about this?" I said as I checked my chin for drool.

He nodded. "I drive the SUV for work most of the time, but sometimes, a man wants to drive something other than big and black."

"What color is it?"

"This color. Candy apple red."

I moaned and he started laughing. "How about we take it out to Point Pleasant the next weekend we're both free?"

I nodded so vigorously that I started to look like a bobble head doll. He laughed and reached over to squeeze my knee. "It's a date, Beautiful," he promised.

All too soon, we were back in New Jersey, home of the year round smog alert.

"So you want to go home with me or head back to your apartment?" he asked as we headed towards the pair of black SUVs idling at the curb. Hal got out of one, nodded at us, and then climbed into the passenger seat of the second SUV.

"I need to do laundry," I told him reluctantly.

"I have a washer and dryer," he returned. "But we'll go to your apartment if that's what you want."

I shot him a considering look. "I'm not quite ready to be done with vacation yet. So maybe we could swing by my apartment to pick up some stuff, and then I could see the Santos house you've been talking about so much? And the Mustang, can't forget the Mustang!"

Les shot me a happy grin and headed towards my apartment. I packed up the rest of my dirty laundry in a pair of laundry baskets. I figured doing laundry at Les's was infinitely better than having to go down to the creepy laundry room in the basement or, even worse, borrow my mom's laundry room.

Plus I was insanely curious about Les's house and I really wanted to see the Mustang!

His house was amazing. It was a big two-story stone colonial-style house set on a huge open lot. There was a tall fence surrounding the property and a gated driveway that Les opened with a key fob.

There was an attached three-car garage, and Les pointed out that there was room for my car when I moved in with him. Note the when, not if. His arrogance was a bit of a turn on, especially when delivered in a self-deprecating manner with his crooked smile. Not that I'll ever tell him this, his ego is probably quite big enough already.

The interior was not nearly as nice as the exterior. Someone had gone a bit crazy in the 1980s and had put that atrocious faux wood paneling. And every fixture in the entire place was the shiny brass from my grandma's old house. And avocado green appliances. Even the toilets were weird colors. It was a crime against architecture.

I looked at Les in shock and he laughed. "The inside is definitely a fixer-upper, and I've been working on it as I've had free time since I bought the house last year," he told me. "But now you can help me figure out how to make it not so ugly."

I wrinkled my nose at him. "I think you need Bob Villa for that."

He just grinned. "We can hire contractors for the major stuff," he agreed. "I'm not eager to electrocute myself. But I've got the main rooms ready to be decorated, I just don't know what to do with it now."

He had taken down the wood paneling on the main level, and the walls looked to be in good shape. It was just all white and boring.

I did love the fact that there were stone fireplaces in many rooms, though. And it was big, I think I'd counted seven bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms and an office. All the rooms, except for the miniscule bathrooms, were quite large and airy from the large windows. And he had a huge workout / playroom area in the basement, complete with a pool table and several scruffy leather couches around a giant TV.

We got my laundry washing happily in the washer in the mudroom off his kitchen, and he dragged me into his office to show me the plans he had for renovation so far.

The master bathroom was so tiny that the two of us barely fit, so I thought his plan to take over one of the bedrooms on the ground floor and turn it into a big master bath and walk-in closet were great. The architect he'd hired had proposed putting a big soaking tub under the window, which he would keep, a steam shower with glass walls big enough for a party and a new long vanity with dual sinks. There would be a small, enclosed toilet room for privacy.

The other bathrooms on the second floor were small but sufficient, just laid out awkwardly. He was going to flip them so the toilet wasn't the first thing you came to when you walked in either bathroom. Whoever had put in that configuration originally was an idiot. Who wants to get whacked in the knees if someone tries to walk into the bathroom when you're already there?

The half bath on the main level was just ugly, but it was certainly big enough for a toilet and sink. He was going to have the pink and green ceramic tile and the pink toilet and sink ripped out and replaced with something less hideous. He was also going to add another half bathroom in the basement so people didn't have to run the stairs to go to the bathroom if he had a party. I figured the party thing wouldn't be optional once the rest of the Merry Men saw the giant TV and pool table, so that was a wise choice.

He was also completely redoing the kitchen. He'd already ripped out most of the existing cabinetry. He said the layout worked just fine but the old oak cabinets had been old, discolored and about to fall off the walls. And the avocado appliances simply had to go.

He already had contractors ready to start the renovation as soon as he picked out the details, like the tile, cabinets and appliances. He'd been putting off doing that because he didn't really care too much about the type of tile or the color on the walls. But if I'd be willing to help him, he could get the contractors working on the house sooner rather than later.

"Hello, have you seen my apartment? What the heck makes you think I know anything about decorating?"

He just grinned at me. "You always look great, so you know at least a little something about what colors look good together, which is more than I can say. Why do you think we all wear black all the time?"

I rolled my eyes at him and he continued.

"I just painted everything white when I took down the God awful wood paneling. But I don't like it. It's just too sterile, reminds me too much of a hospital room, and I've spent more than enough time in hospitals that I don't want to feel like I'm in one when I'm at home," he told me.

I agreed to think about it, and he seemed okay with that.

By then, the washer was dinging that my clothes were done, so we switched them over into the dryer. Les only made a few comments about fondling my underwear.

We hung out on the old couch in the living room while the dryer was going. It was almost as lumpy and uncomfortable as the one at my apartment.

He grinned as I struggled to find a comfortable place to sit. "It came with the house. It also has to go, so I'll need some new furniture for the living room. You can help me pick out stuff."

"If your bed is like this, I'm going back to my apartment to sleep!" I told him.

He smirked and pulled me into his lap for a long kiss. At least his lap was comfortable, unlike his couch. "Bedroom furniture's all new. I'm not over here a ton yet, at least until the major renovation is done, but I refused to sleep on something painful if I can avoid it. Did that shit for too many years on patrol and on missions. So I've got a top of the line California king bed in there waiting on us!"

That sounded promising.

He laughed and kissed me again. "You just let me know when you're ready, and I promise you won't even notice whether I even have a mattress or not."

Eek. He just smiled at my blush and turned on the TV.

We watched TV for a while, and then brought my laundry into the living room so we could finish the blow 'em up movie playing while folding. He helped me fold without complaining, pausing only occasionally to beg me to model some undergarment for him. I declined. But I did tell him I might reconsider later if he was a good boy.

"What if I'm a very bad boy?" he purred.

"Then I'll call my seventh grade teacher, Sister Mary Emmanuel, and she'll smack you across the knuckles with a ruler!" I retorted. He shut up, but his grin was still wicked as he folded my panties.

As promised, his massive bed was insanely comfortable and I could have quite cheerfully stayed in it for the rest of my life.

_**Author's note: **__And now they're back in Trenton! They're working things and are starting 'dating', despite the fact that they're already married, even if it's from the Church of Sinatra. _

_If anyone is interested, I started a community named 'Merry Men Mayhem' for __completed__ Tart stories. So as you come across interesting, well-written and completed Merry Men/ Tart stories, please let me know via private message. And I'm happy to add anyone as staff if you're interested in adding stories as well. I found lots of Babe and Cupcake communities, but not many active Tart ones, so I thought I'd start one._

_The next two weeks are likely to be insanely nuts at work as the semester comes to a close and students begin to panic about completing their papers, exams, theses, etc, but I will do my best to keep up my Monday – Friday daily posting schedule. I'm typically the first person they come to when they think they can't get things done, so I'll be transitioning into Cheerleader Angela for the next couple of weeks. So any loud shouts of "You can do it! I know you can! Who needs sleep? Bah! Yay for the library! And for coffee!" will be from me. Just so you know. _

_But of course, reviews make me ridiculously happy and I'm more likely to force myself to stay up late those extra few minutes to review and post if I know I'm going to get some love in return. I'm just sayin'…. *grins* _


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

The smell of coffee woke me the next morning, but I couldn't find Les anywhere. After wandering around the house for five minutes and wondering if either a) the aliens came and only needed males to probe or b) the Rapture occurred and I was screwed, I finally remembered to check the basement.

Bingo! I stood by the door and watched him beat the crap out of a boxing bag for a few minutes. He was focused intently on his adversary, and he was moving so quickly that I almost didn't see the individual movements of his arms and legs. Plus he was only in a pair of itty-bitty running shorts, so there was more than enough of his honey hued skin on display to keep me distracted.

He finally stopped after a roundhouse kick sent the bag straining against the chains attaching it to the ceiling. He leaned against the wall breathing heavily.

"I think you killed it," I called out softly and he spun towards me with a look of surprise on his face.

"Hey, Beautiful," he said as he walked towards me. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to know that I should never piss you off," I told him as he gave me a soft kiss, keeping his sweaty body tilted away from me. Too bad.

"I'd never hurt you," he swore. "I'd cut my own balls off before I'd ever hurt you. I hope you know that."

I grinned at him. "I know. I trust you. Hell, I jumped out of a freaking airplane with you! If that's not trust, I don't know what is!"

He grinned. "True."

"How long have you been beating the crap out of the poor defenseless bag?" I asked as he started stretching his long, lean muscles.

He glanced at a cheap plastic clock on the wall. "Body work for about an hour. I did some running and weights before that."

I shook my head. "I can't believe you guys work out that much."

He dropped to the floor and started popping out sit-ups at an incredible rate. "Job requirement," he said slightly breathlessly. I'd be groaning uncontrollably and begging for mercy if I tried to do sit-ups that fast. I don't do ups. I only do downs: sit down, party down, chow down.

"Don't get me wrong, I definitely enjoy the benefit of it," I told him as I admired his body in motion. "I just can't think of much in this world that would make me workout this much every day."

He grinned and paused for a second. "Glad you like what you see. But when your life depends on whether you can run that extra second faster or can block a punch, you do what you have to do."

"Is that a common occurrence?" I asked in concern. I knew what the guys did was dangerous, I'd seen the danger first hand, but I didn't realize it was that bad.

"Not as much anymore. But back when I ran missions, yeah. I saw guys die in horrible ways because they were just a hair too slow. Didn't want that to be me. But in our business, sometimes we still have to do some damn unpleasant shit, Beautiful. You've seen that." Then he resumed punching out sit-ups.

I nodded. "Yeah. And I know that kind of stuff you guys do is usually more dangerous than I what see, but you better be careful!"

He grinned. "Or else what?" he asked as he kept up his measured movements.

"Or else I'll tell my grandma you have a Mrs. Robinson fantasy!"

He froze. "You'd do that to me?"

"In a heartbeat, Santos. So you keep yourself safe or you'll regret it!"

He grinned and shook his head before resuming his sit-ups. "You're an evil woman."

"Like you didn't know that before. I may be unconventional, but I always get my man!"

He winked. "I'll let you get me anytime you want, baby."

I groaned at his cheesy line. "Please tell me you didn't just go that cheesy?"

"I've seen you eat pizza. You love cheese!"

"On my food! Not in my man!"

He stopped and rested his arms on his knees. "Am I your man?"

I smiled at him. "Why, do you want to be?" I teased.

He looked serious. "Absolutely. More than anything in this world."

I had to smile at his sincerity. I have to tell you, being loved by him, without expectations that I would give up everything in my life that I loved to do what he wanted, was pretty amazing. He was pretty amazing.

"I'm still trying to figure things out," I told him softly and I walked over to squat down next to him. "But you're being pretty persuasive so far. So yeah, I think of you as my man."

He stretched up slightly to kiss me. "Glad to hear it," he whispered against my lips. Then I was breathing heavily too and it had nothing to do with exercise.

I had to pull myself away from him when my thighs were trembling from the strain of my position that I figured I was about to topple over. He smiled as I sucked in a deep breath and had to put my hands on his chest to help me stand up.

"I love that I can do that to you," he said with a self-satisfied smile.

I stared obviously at the bulge in his shorts. Bet he'd find running rather challenging right now. "I see I can do something to you too," I retorted.

He came to his feet in a fluid movement I could never even hope to emulate. "More than just something, baby," he murmured against my ear. "You make me absolutely crazy."

I started giggling and he pulled back to look at me. "What?"

"Usually I make people crazy for other reasons!"

He smiled in surprise. "Not if most of the men are being really honest," he told me with a grin. "But they'll have to deal with me now if you make them crazy like that, and I don't share well with others."

I smiled. "I don't share either."

"So we're agreed then?" he asked. "There's no one else?"

I nodded. He smiled. "Good."

He kissed me for a minute before putting a bit of space between us. "Well since you're down here, how about we practice some of those self-defense moves?"

I groaned and he shot me a mischievous grin. "Come on, baby. If you take me down, you can do whatever you want to me."

I smirked at him. "So basically, you're admitting that you're going to take a dive?"

He busted out laughing and I launched myself at him. Two seconds later, I was straddling him and grinning down at him. "Need to be more aware of your surroundings, Santos," I mocked, having heard this from all of the Merry Men, including Les, a million times or more.

He slid his hands up to my waist. "I'm very aware of my surroundings right now, Beautiful, I promise you that."

I leaned down and kissed him. "So I can do anything I want, huh?"

I got a big grin. "Oh, yeah," he purred.

"Great," I murmured just before I started tickling him.

He yelped and then rolled to pin me on my back. "Stephanie!"

I pouted at him. "You promised!"

He didn't respond. Verbally, that is. But his lips were definitely very active and I got the message just fine.

I was a puddle of goo when he finally lifted his torso off of mine. He smirked at me and I rubbed my knee against his inner thigh. "Don't be so… cocky, Santos. I could have had you singing soprano."

"You were too preoccupied," he told me with supreme confidence.

"You sure about that?" I challenged.

He looked faintly concerned for a few seconds before he smiled. "Yes."

I had to grin at him. "Good call."

He grinned at me and then levered himself to his feet, holding out a hand to help me up. "I'm serious, let's run through some of your moves. You need to keep up your practice so it's second nature."

I sighed but he just turned those gorgeous, twinkling green eyes on me. "And it's good excuse for me to put my hands on your luscious body."

I smirked at him. "And who says you need an excuse?"

His grin grew. "Guess I don't anymore."

"So that's the real reason why you've been dragging me to self-defense practice every week? So you could grope me?"

He nodded. "Yep. Well, that and it would tear me apart if something happened to you."

I laughed at his grin. "Then how the heck have you survived all the mayhem that seems to ensue when I'm around?"

"Lots of gym time. And copious quantities of alcohol," he replied seriously.

I stopped laughing to look at him. "You're serious?"

He nodded. "I didn't have the right to hold you close and kiss your cuts and scrapes, but I wanted to. So I'd have to work off the rage and fear and then get half-trashed so I could stop thinking about what might have happened."

"Oh wow."

He pulled me into a hug. "Sorry, didn't mean to ruin the fun mood. But I'll always try to be honest with you."

I hugged him back. "It's okay. You know how important honesty is to me. So thanks. But it's just still kind of weird to hear that you've had feelings for me before now."

I felt him nod. "It's weird for me to be able to admit it. I've kept it hidden from everyone, especially you, for so long that it's like being in a dream to be able to kiss you, touch you. To tell you that I love you."

I blushed and buried my head against his yummy bare chest.

"Why do you do that?" he asked softly, his chin on the top of my head.

"Do what?"

"Blush and hide when I tell you I love you."

I blushed again but I was already staring at his chest, so my face was already hidden. I shrugged.

"I'm serious. Please tell me," he pressed.

I sighed. "I'm not exactly good with emotions," I hedged.

He chuckled. "Neither am I, Beautiful."

"You seem more open about it than I am!" I countered.

His turn to shrug. "I've had years to come to terms with the fact that I'm nuts over you. Now that you know it, and I'm trying to make you fall for me too, I don't see any reason to leave you guessing about how I feel."

"No danger of that," I responded drily.

He just held me tight. "Please tell me."

I waged an internal battle for a minute. Ultimately, I decided it was time to put on my big girl panties and tell him how I felt. "I'm scared."

"Of what, Beautiful."

"That you'll change your mind, realize I'm way more trouble than I'm worth. I mean, hell, that's what both Joe and Ranger did, essentially. I know you're not them, but you asked me to be honest, and I'm trying to tell you the truth," I told him breathlessly. Then I held my breath while I waited for him to reply.

He pulled back and tipped my chin up so I had to look at him. "Beautiful, I can't predict the future. I hope we're together and blissfully happy fifty years from now, but I can't guarantee it. But I can promise you that I will never stop loving you."

There was a slight pause but his eyes maintained their intense focus on mine. "You're not too much work, you're just the right amount of work to keep me from getting bored. I've never been bored by you and I can't see ever being bored by you. I love you, Stephanie. I've never said that to any woman outside my family before, and I mean it. I love you. And if you need a little time to accept that, well, good thing I'm patient," he told me, his green eyes shining with an intensity that was humbling and a little unnerving. Okay, a lot unnerving.

Give me a break, I don't exactly have a great track record here, so I think I can be forgiven for being a little anxious.

I nibbled on my lower lip anxiously, a nervous habit I can't quite seem to break, and he leaned in to kiss my poor abused lip. "Just try to believe me," he said quietly.

I nodded slowly. "I'm trying. It's just a lot to take it so soon. You know?"

He nodded. "I know, Beautiful. But I'm here for you, you know that, right?"

I nodded and his arms tightened around me for a second. "Now, how would you get out of this hold?" he asked, shifting the conversation away from the overly emotional one that had me ready to run for the stairs. And I don't run.

"Knee you in the 'nads until you fall into the fetal position and puke," I told him with a grin.

He winced. "Let's not practice that particular move," he suggested. "You've used it plenty already and I need to keep all my parts in working in order in case you want to take them for a test drive."

I grinned at the suggestion in his voice at his last comment.

"Do I get a free key chain with the test drive?"

"Baby, I'll give you anything you want if you'll take me on a test drive!" he responded with a grin.

I winked and stepped back. He let out a very loud mock sigh and came at me from a different angle. Because he wasn't wearing his usual padded armor, I didn't actually put force behind the blows, but he took me through a bunch of the defensive moves he'd taught me.

I caught him off guard once and knocked him down to the mats. Good thing we were on the squishy mats rather than the hard linoleum on the other side of the basement.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" I asked anxiously as I fell to my knees beside him.

He just grinned up at me. "You're getting much better. You were pulling your punches but you still took me down. And that's not easy to do."

I smiled in relief that he was fine. "I have a good teacher."

He beamed with pride. "You're a good student."

I snorted at that massive lie. He laughed. "Okay, you're a good student when I can actually get you to focus on your homework."

"You sound like pretty much every teacher I've ever had," I told him as I stood up and offered him my hand. "But I have to tell you, wrestling around with you almost naked is way more fun than reciting Latin verbs!"

"Then wrestling around with me when we're fully naked should make your day!" he retorted as he got to his feet.

I giggled. "I think that would make _your_ day!"

"Hell, baby, that would make my whole decade!"

I giggled again and he slung one arm around my shoulder. "You want to save water and shower together?" he asked with waggling eyebrows.

I shot him a disbelieving glance. "There's no way both of us could fit in your shower. Not even with all the KY in the world."

He groaned. "Now why'd you have to go and make a nice clean suggestion dirty like that?"

I snorted and raised my eyebrows at him.

He grinned. "You can go first, if you want," he offered.

"Thanks, but I'm pretty much out of hair stuff and I doubt you keep much John Frieda curl hydrating conditioner in your shower."

"Much what?" he asked blankly.

I smiled. "Exactly. I need to get back to my apartment, but I appreciate the offer."

"Let me grab a shower and we'll head over," he said.

"Take your time," I assured him. "I'm not exactly in a huge hurry to get yelled at by Vinnie."

He frowned. "Yelled at?"

I shrugged. "You know him. All bark and no bite. God, please, I hope he doesn't bite! I'm sure he's got something. Maybe rabies. Or the mange. But he'll bluster a bit and then get over it. It's how we work."

He still didn't look happy. "You have to trust me, too," I told him as we climbed the stairs. I could almost feel his surprise at that.

"I do trust you!" he exclaimed.

"Then trust me to be able to manage my pervert of a cousin. I've been doing it for years, for a lot longer than I've worked for him, actually. It might not be the most functional relationship in the world, but it works for us. And if he gets out of hand, I quack like a duck. Then he shuts the hell up."

Les laughed. "I don't want to think about the fact that you're actually related to him."

I made a face. "Me either!"

I changed and then sat on his bed while he took a shower. Ten minutes later, he came back out dressed as a man in black. I licked my lips as I checked him out from head to toe and he grinned at my reaction.

"See something you like?" he purred into my ear.

I had to swallow hard to get any words out. "Maybe."

He laughed and then leaned over to pin me against his bed before giving me a big kiss. "I think I forgot to say it earlier. But good morning, Beautiful."

I sighed. "It is now!"

He chuckled and then pulled me to my feet. "You ready?"

I nodded. "Yeah. My laundry baskets are on your coffee table and that's all I need to grab."

He kept hold of my hand as we walked through the house. It was nice.

He cleared my apartment just in case the dust bunnies had reached a critical mass while we were gone and had attained sentience. They had not. Yet.

He tried to stay with me for longer but I finally convinced him to leave. "Look, we're trying out this dating thing, right? The last week has been amazing and very, um, enlightening, but in real life, we wouldn't spend 24/7 together. We're both independent people and we'd kill each other. So we need to get back to reality and see if we can handle each other like that."

I could see he didn't really like leaving, which made me happy. I'd seen Joe far too eager to leave before and it wasn't exactly a situation to make a girl feel all warm and fuzzy. The fact that he didn't want to leave me but that he would if I asked was nice.

"Fine," he said after a few seconds. "But I'll be back to take you to dinner tonight."

"Don't you think you need some time away from me?"

"Nope," he countered with a grin. "You're trying to figure out whether you could stand being married to me. And if we were, are, whatever, you know what I mean, but we'd have dinner together most nights. So please, will you have dinner with me tonight?" he asked.

Sneaky bastard, he knew I couldn't resist it when he said please. But I couldn't exactly take him to task for being polite. It was a catch-22.

I nodded. "Fine. But can we just order Pino's and eat in? We've gone out so much that I'm just kind of tired of eating out."

He kissed me softly and then nodded. "Sure. I'll call you when I'm on my way."

"Try not to shoot anybody," I told him as he opened the door.

He grinned. "I make no promises."

I rolled my eyes and he was gone.

I took my shower and tried to studiously avoid looking at my kitchen countertop. It had helped for me to get out of the apartment for a few days while my sadness was still so fresh, but I missed my little buddy. He'd been a good friend for a number of years, and I figured I would always miss him.

I got dressed and headed to the bond's office. Vinnie was out, hallelujah, but Connie and Lula were there to catch me up on all the gossip I'd missed during my week away.

"So where'd you go?" Lula asked once I settled in with the donuts.

"Rex died," I told them and I had to fight back a few tears.

They both made sympathetic noises. I sucked in a breath and got myself under control. "So Les took me out of town on a little vacation. He said I needed to get a little happy."

"Well, ain't that sweet," Lula opined as a glob of jelly fell into her mammoth cleavage. She scooped it up with a finger and stuck it in her mouth. "Where'd ya go?"

"Vegas."

"Vegas!" Connie shrieked. "You went without us?"

I nodded. "He gave me an hour to pack. I didn't have any time to call you!"

Connie still looked miffed.

"What did you do?" Lula asked.

I told them about the trip, leaving out, of course, any mention of drunken nuptials.

"You really went skydiving?" Lula asked skeptically.

I nodded enthusiastically. "It was amazing! We went twice, and I did six dives total with Les," I explained. "He used to train soldiers to jump out of planes. He actually taught Ranger how back when they were in the Army together."

They had lots of questions and I tried to answer without giving anything away. I must be a better actress than I thought because they seemed to accept it as just a fun, spur of the moment vacation brought on by my grief.

I got my files from Connie and went back to my apartment to read through them all. Most were repeats, but I had a couple of new ones I'd need to research first. I emailed Connie and asked her to run in depth reports. Thankfully, there were no homicidal rapists with a penchant for brunettes.

My cell phone buzzed a few hours later as I was pulling up outside Mooner and Dougie's shared house. Dougie had forgotten his court date again.

_Hey Beautiful! How's your first day back?_

Thank God he didn't use all those abbreviations. I didn't understand that language.

_Good,_ I texted back. _About to pick up Dougie._

_Still on for Pino's tonight?_

_When have I ever turned down Pino's?_

_See you around 6 or 7. _

Dougie was flabbergasted to realize he'd missed his court date. So he went in without a fuss. I called Connie as soon as he agreed to go in with me, and she was waiting at the courthouse for us when we got there. If only all my skips were so accommodating. Of course, the fact that I promised him McDonalds when he was done probably helped too.

I'd picked up another regular, Eula, a homeless lady who lived at the bus station and took her in too. I rented her a locker at the bus terminal so she could lock up all of her stuff before going in to be rebonded. It made me sad to learn that all of her worldly possessions could fit into a storage locker but she told me not to feel bad for her. She was happy with her life and she'd be even happier if the damn cops would just leave her alone. But she needed a shower and a hot meal or two, so she'd be happy to be in jail for a few days. I promised to check in with her in a few days, and she seemed content enough at the police station.

Of course, with my luck, I ran into Joe was I was leaving. Rats.

"Hey, Cupcake," he said as he tried to peek down my shirt. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared.

"Morelli," I said as I tried to scoot by him. He stepped in front of me.

"So how about I bring over a pizza and we hang out tonight?" he asked as he tried to lean in to kiss me.

I leaned back. "I already have plans."

He looked surprised. "Really?"

He didn't have to seem so surprised. It's not like I'm not Quasimodo or anything! "Yes, really," I retorted in a sugary sweet tone. "And I'll be late if I don't head out now. Tell Terry I said hi!"

Then I turned sideways and walked by him, breathing a sigh of relief once I was in the clear.

Les showed up with Pino's subs and a salad bowl the size of Houston. "What's that?" I asked as I stared at the salad. "This green stuff. I don't recognize it."

He grinned. "Pigging out on vacation's one thing, but now that we're back to real life, as you put it, I need to try to eat less like a pig," he told me.

"So you're eating a salad?" I asked in horror. "Who are you and what did you do with Lester?"

He grinned. "It's me, Beautiful. And I'm eating a salad with my sub, so don't have another panic attack. I really don't know how you look like you do eating like you do, but I won't complain. But I'll share the salad if you want. Ella made the dressing and it's pretty good."

"Seriously, are you a pod person? Evil twin?"

He shook his head and kissed me until my toes curled and my hair started to smoke. "That enough proof of my identity or should I kiss you some more?" he asked.

I gulped. "That's good enough, I guess."

He kissed me again, pinning me against the kitchen counter. When he finally pulled back, I had to suck oxygen into my deprived lungs. "What was that?" I gasped.

He grinned. "You didn't seem convinced."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Is that what you do when you get pulled over and you forgot your license?"

"Depends," he said with a grin. "Is she cute?"

I punched him in the arm and he just laughed at me. "Laugh it up, chuckles," I told him. "But I catch you kissing anyone else and you're in for it!"

He grinned and swept me up into his arms. "I promise. Just you, from now on."

I grabbed his neck to keep from falling. "Hmm."

"Trust me?"

"How far can I throw you?"

"Aw, Beautiful, I'm hurt!"

"Not. Yet. Put me down!" I demanded.

He complied and then helped himself to a couple of plates in the cabinet. "So a side salad: yes or no?"

I sighed. "I guess so."

He actually turned to stare at me in shock. "Really?"

I laughed at the sheer disbelief on his face. "Sure. I can't count on the Hungarian metabolism forever, so I might as well learn to eat like a freaking bunny a little now."

He smiled and put a big serving of salad on my plate before topping it with a wine-colored dressing from a plastic bottle. "Balsamic vinaigrette," he said at my confused look.

I grumbled a little but ate the salad. It was pretty good. You know, for a salad. There were lots of veggies in it and it actually had a taste. I don't think I'd ever had a salad with taste before. If I couldn't get my jeans to snap, I'd buy the bagged iceberg salad mix in the grocery store, but it only tasted halfway decent if you poured half a bottle of ranch on it, which kind of defeats the purpose of eating a salad.

Les smirked at my surprise. "Salads don't have to be bad," he said. "They aren't my favorite food, but they are good for you. So I try to eat at least a couple a week."

I'll reserve judgment on that. This could be the only tasty salad in the history of the world. And no way was I going to eat multiple salads per week.

We hung out and watched TV. It really wasn't all that different from a week ago, except for the making out part. And the fact that he didn't leave.

"But if we're trying to figure things out, I should stay," he argued. "Make sure you can handle my idiosyncrasies and dirty socks."

"Do you even have any stuff with you?" I asked.

He pulled a new toothbrush in the plastic and cardboard box out of his cargo pants pocket.

"That's it?" I asked incredulously. "A toothbrush?"

"Do you have toothpaste? And soap?" he asked. I nodded. "Then that's all I need. And I could do without the toothbrush, but you'd probably refuse to kiss me with morning breath."

Eh, I had a feeling he could make me overlook bad breath.

"What about clean clothes?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I'm off until tomorrow night, so I'll take a shower after my workout tomorrow morning. Plus I'm in all black. We always wear black. So who's going to notice?"

I shook my head. "You're such a guy," I muttered.

He pulled me to him. "Yeah. Want me to prove it?"

Yes. "No!"

He laughed and let me go. I shook my head and headed into the bathroom to go through my nightly routine. Five minutes later, I was heading for the bedroom. Three minutes after that, and Les was crawling into bed next to me in nothing but little black boxers.

"Are all of your boxers black?" I asked on a whim.

He shook with laughter. "No. I just generally wear black to work in case the pants start to sag. I don't want to look like one of those guys with his pants around his damn knees. I don't even know how they can walk like that!" he told me.

"So you do own underpants in other colors?"

He nodded. "For my party pants."

I turned to look at him. "Party pants?"

"Just playing with you, Beautiful!" he said as he kissed my nose.

I huffed and turned over, annoyed that I was so gullible.

"Aw, baby, don't be mad," he said as he nuzzled my neck. "I was just playing." As he continued to kiss my neck, I forgot why I was annoyed.

He was whispering to me in Spanish again. It was soothing and a turn on, at the same time.

"What are you saying?" I whispered.

He froze and let out a sigh.

"Les?"

I turned over and could just make out his face in the faint glow of the street light outside. He looked embarrassed.

"Nope, uh uh. You don't let me hide, so you don't get to hide either," I told him.

He sighed again. "Fair enough. I was telling you how much I love you. How much I love you hair, how I love having it tickle my nose like this. That you make me smile and laugh and I feel like maybe I'm not such an awful man if someone like you likes me."

Aww. I'm pretty sure my heart just melted.

"Les?" I asked again quietly.

"Yeah, Beautiful?"

"What were you saying the day before we left for Vegas? You refused to tell me then. Will you tell me now?"

I felt him shift closer to me. "You've already heard most of it by now. That I loved you, I wanted to take away all the pain. That I was so glad you called you me when you needed someone, how glad I was that you wanted me there with you."

"Wow."

"I'm so glad you don't speak Spanish! Or my secret would have been out a long time ago," he admitted.

"And would that have been so bad?"

"Would you have been ready to hear it six months ago?" he countered. "A year ago?"

I didn't have an answer for that. "I don't know," I finally admitted.

"That's why I kept it to myself. I couldn't handle having you tell me, 'Oh that's flattering, but…' or some bullshit like that. Plus you still had weird shit going on with Morelli and Ranger, and to the best of my knowledge, I've never gotten involved with someone who was already involved. I draw the line there."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"For what, baby?" he asked as his arms tightened around me.

"That I hurt you, even if I didn't meant to."

"Steph, you didn't hurt me. You didn't. Knowing that I loved you but that you loved someone else hurt, but that wasn't anything you did. You can't help who you love."

"But I didn't love them," I whispered.

"What?"

"Not really. Joe only wanted me if I'd change everything about me and I definitely didn't love him enough for that. I didn't even really know Ranger and you can't love someone you don't know. I liked the persona, the Batman façade. But I never got past the man in black thing, not like I have with you."

His arms tightened around me. "When possible, I'll tell you what I can about me, about my past. There are things that are classified that I just can't talk about it. But if you have questions, ask them. Just don't be mad if I can't answer. It won't be because I don't want to, but because it could get both of us in a lot of shit if I did answer."

"I understand."

He kissed me softly. "Good."

Then I snuggled down into his arms and fell asleep.

_**Author's note: **__Thank you all for the lovely reviews! This is an insane time of the year for me, and I get such a huge kick out of getting the emails that say I have a new review in between meetings. They make me grin._

_In exchange for a super sized chapter, I have a request. I tried to make this chapter funny, so please tell me: did you have a part or a line(s) that made you smile? _


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10**_

I woke up the next morning wrapped in his arms as he played with my hair.

"Hey," I said sleepily as I looked into happy green eyes.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beautiful," he said as he leaned down to kiss me gently.

I made a happy noise in the back of my throat. "Good morning," I said as I snuggled closer. "What's got you so happy this morning?"

He chuckled and I blushed. "I didn't mean that! I mean your face looks happy!" I could feel that other parts of him were happy too. Very happy.

"I am happy."

I peeked up at him. "About what?"

"This. Us. Giving it a shot. Aw hell, I can't explain it," he groaned.

I grinned. "I understand. And at least I'm not the only one who gets tongue-tied."

He smiled and kissed my hair.

We cuddled together for a while before the call of nature forced me out of my nice warm bed, and the even nicer, warmer arms that were in my bed.

Then we chatted while I got the coffee going and stuck some frozen waffles into the toaster. I didn't have any syrup, but I did have peanut butter, so I smeared the golden brown waffles with copious quantities of peanut butter and called it done.

What, peanut butter has protein. Who said I couldn't cook?

Les smiled at his breakfast and ate without a word. My kind of man. Wait, what? Never mind, think about that one later, Plum.

We sat on the couch and chatted for a bit before I reluctantly had to go to chase skips. He offered to go with me, but I declined. "Okay, I'll go, but promise you'll call if you need backup?" he asked with his tongue doing magical things to my ear.

I'd have agreed to anything at that point as long as he kept doing that thing with his tongue. And his lips. And dear God, his teeth.

"Baby?"

"Back up, yeah," I managed to whisper distractedly.

"Good," he murmured before he went back to nuzzling my ear

I sighed a minute later when he eased back. "You're going to be hell on my blood pressure," I murmured.

He laughed. "You're hell on mine, Beautiful," he told me before he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "Call me later?"

"You call me. I don't want to bother you while you're on a stake out or whatever, so you just call me when you have a free minute," I offered.

"You're never a bother," he told me. "You can call me anytime and I'll answer if at all possible. But I'll call you before I go on duty tonight and when I get a break. Okay?"

"Okay. Be safe," I told him.

"You too," he said with one last kiss that left my knees weak and my lungs heaving. Damn, but he was good at that.

I managed to round up a couple of skips and I didn't even get covered in crap. I spoke with Les several times during the day, and my heart sped up ever time I heard his ring tone. I'd changed it to LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It" because it just fit his personality so well, and I had the urge to shake my tush every time it played.

Plus the idea of a bunch of Merry Men in nothing but g-strings dancing around behind a g-string clad Les made me drool on myself.

He was on nights for the next couple of days, so we didn't see each other as much, but we spoke frequently. And he'd come by and have dinner with me before he went on duty.

Those dinners were lighthearted and fun, just like things always were with Les. The only difference was that he kissed me frequently, touched me constantly and told me that he loved me before he left to save the world.

It was decidedly weird.

I was enjoying dating Les, and the making out part was fabulous, but I was still nervous about being married. It's not like my one attempt had worked out well for me. I'd caught The Dick doing the horizontal mambo with The Skank before the certificate was dry. And Joe had claimed that he'd wanted to marry me, but he'd once again cheated on me with Mob Boss Barbie.

So maybe there was just something wrong with me? My mom certainly thought so.

I woke up a week later on Saturday morning to find a green-eyed hottie sleeping peacefully next to me. I slipped out of bed as quietly as possible and took care of my personal needs before playing around on my laptop in the living room until Les joined me shortly after noon.

"Hey, baby," he said with a kiss as he picked me up, laptop and all, and plopped me back down in his lap. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm fine this afternoon, and you?" I squeaked once I stopped moving.

He grinned. "Better now. I woke up lonely," he said with sad puppy dog eyes.

"Aww, poor baby," I replied. "I woke up confused that I wasn't alone."

He grinned. "I missed you."

Aww. "I missed you, too."

"And I'm off today, figured I could spend the day with my beautiful wife." he said.

I blushed at the word wife. "Shh! Someone will hear you! And if my mom finds out, you'll be a widower!"

Les just grinned and kissed me. "Baby, we're in your apartment. No one else is around, so no one else can hear me. And I'll protect you from your mom."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"What about from my grandma?"

"You're on your own, Beautiful."

I snorted. "So much for 'til death do us part then!"

"It would be my death if she got her hands on me," he said with a big grin. "Or hers. And you'd hate me if I killed your granny."

Eh, he's probably right, but I wouldn't be able to blame him. Much.

I rolled my eyes at him. "I need to follow around some skips today, figure out how best to nab them, but you're welcome to come with me if you're that bored," I told him. Wouldn't be the first time we'd done stakeouts together.

He reached around me to pick up my stack of files on the coffee table. "Hey, this guy works at the Lowe's just down the road! We can stake him out and check out stuff for the house!" he said with a grin. "Two-for-one day, score!"

Will Jacobson was wanted for assault when he'd gone all gonzo on his brother in law after a hockey game. Apparently the brother in law had made disparaging comments about Will's favorite teams, and in his state of inebriation, Will had whacked his brother in law with a 2x4 in his truck. Repeatedly.

Yikes.

I called the store and pretended to be a customer who'd been helped by our FTA previously. Will wasn't at work yet, but he should be there within the hour. Lucky me, I had to go look at tile and paint samples now.

Les insisted we go by his house and pick up the plans for the improvements just in case we saw stuff we liked while we stalked Will. Er, gathered intel. Same difference, right?

I have to admit, I actually had a lot of fun playing home decorator with Les. Of course, when do I not have fun with Les?

He'd brought the design plans and then ran through the house snapping pics on his iPhone so we could remember what the rooms looked like currently. Like those images weren't burned in horror in my brain.

I was also horrified by the price of appliances, cabinets, tile and stuff, but Les just laughed at me and told me not to worry about price, just to pick stuff that we liked. Hello, has he met me? I have to worry about the price of stuff! If they raise the price of donuts, my carefully constructed budget will be screwed!

"Baby, please, don't worry about it. I've budgeted for it. And I want to get this shit done, but I need help picking out stuff," he said as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Can't you get Ella to help? Or hire a decorator?" I asked in shock as I saw the price tag on a stainless steel French door fridge. I'd owned cars that had cost less.

He laughed. "Yeah. But I'd rather it be us."

I stared at my shoes. "But what if…" I said before stopped.

"What if what, Beautiful?" he said as he pulled me close to his chest.

"What if things don't work out great with us?" I said in a rush.

"I think it will. I have to think to will or I'll lose my mind worrying about it. So it will, and we have to pick a fridge for our house because that green monstrosity has to go."

I looked up at him and grinned. "So you're the King of Denial, huh?" I asked. Good to know the monarchy was still strong in the land of Denial.

"And you're my queen, baby," he said with a smile as he pulled me down the line of fridges. "So which ones do you like?"

It was fun once I was able to stop worrying about the price of everything. And once Les whipped out a black Amex, which I knew had no limit, we were surrounded by sales people willing to do absolutely anything for us.

Les wanted his house done fast, and between the black Amex and the 'do what I want or woe be unto you' look on his face, they would do what he wanted. One person was at the computer looking to see which appliances were in stock while another was on the phone with their cabinet supply company to see which brands could be expedited. A third was frantically looking up warranty and Energy Star info on every fridge, stove, microwave and dishwasher in the place so she'd be able to cite chapter and verse if and when we asked.

I, however, was trying not to wet my pants laughing.

Les dropped his badass mask long enough to wink at me, which only made me laugh harder.

The cabinetry guy came back and had a list of cabinet styles that we could have ready to install in seven to ten days. Les unbent enough to nod at him, and we sat down at a table to look through the options.

We both liked the darker wood options, and neither of us were into fancy designs. So we picked a simply shaker design in a mahogany finish that I figured would go well with the historic style of the house. It was one of the suggested styles from the architect, so I figured we had validation of our style choice.

The cabinetry guy tried to schedule a time for someone to come take measurements, but Les just handed him a detailed plan and set of measurements from the architect and contractor. Cabinetry guy opened his mouth to say something, took one look at the look on Les's face and nodded, waiving that requirement. Smart man.

After picking the cabinet styles and colors, we went back to pick the appliances. "Just 'cause you're buying top of the line shit doesn't mean I'm going to turn into Susie Homemaker!" I warned Les.

He pulled me into an alcove where a fridge used to live. With a big fridge on either side, we were hidden from the anxious kitchen design people who wanted to rack up the digits on Les's credit card.

"Beautiful, I know you're no Martha Stewart. I don't want that, I want you. But I do want a place to keep the beer cold, and you'll need a freezer for the Ben and Jerry's. And we'll need a microwave and stove and all that shit. I'm not Morelli, I'm not expecting you to be anyone other than you. Got it?"

I nodded and he kissed me thoroughly before pulling me out of the gap. I won't lie, it's a good thing he had his arm around my waist because I wasn't so steady on my feet yet.

We picked out stainless steel appliances that I figured would look good with the dark wood cabinets and the gray stone fireplace on the wall between the kitchen and dining room.

By the time we finished with appliances, cabinetry guy had several choices of counter tops available for us. All of them could be ready at the same time as the cabinets. A black Amex could really work wonders. Of course, the fact that he could buy a freaking Caribbean island with the thing probably had a whole lot to do with it. And the fact that Les looked like he could kill them all probably helped as well.

I made Les pull out his iPhone and the photos the architect had printed, and we both picked a faux granite that matched the stone of the fireplace pretty damn well. Les wanted real granite, but I didn't once I learned it had to be sealed twice a year and required quite a lot of work. And real granite would take two to three months to be cut and delivered.

That part right there convinced Les that the fake stuff looked good enough. Plus it was easier to take care of and was "green" because it was made out of recycled glass bottles.

And the fact that it came in smaller tiles for a backsplash had me sold. It would all match and just needed to be wiped down on occasion. As Les pointed out, Martha Stewart we are not.

Once we had the kitchen pretty much settled, the cabinetry guy was left to frantically print up an inventory and price list for Les's contractor. And he was also making a pretty little color drawing of what it would look like when it was done for me since I'm a visual person. Les looked at his watch and gave him an hour. Cabinetry guy swallowed hard and practically sprinted to his computer.

I turned to Les and grinned. "You did that on purpose," I accused.

He grinned back at me. "I haven't flexed my badass muscles much recently. Gotta make sure they still work."

I rolled my eyes. "They work."

Then Les dragged me off to the bathroom fixtures aisle. I started slobbering over a giant jetted tub that reminded me of the one in our hotel room in Vegas. Les just laughed at me, until I told him about my memory. Then his eyes went from peridot to emerald and he caught the eye of a staring young woman in the blue Lowe's smock.

"Hi there, honey," she drawled as she walked over, completely ignoring me. "Can I help you with anything?"

"I need the dimension on this tub and when it could be delivered," Les said as he turned back to me. "My wife seems to like it."

"Les!" I squeaked.

"Yeah, baby?"

I jerked his head down so I could hiss in his ear. "I thought you were going to be careful about saying that in public! We're only three freaking miles from my apartment!"

Les kissed my cheek. "We can claim we're undercover if anyone asks," he whispered back in my ear before he bit down gently on my ear lobe. I tried to suppress a moan but I think I failed.

I looked up to see the girl still standing there with her jaw open. "Go check, please," I said sweetly. "He can do things in a tub that should be illegal."

She snapped her jaw shut and stomped away, but I could have sworn I heard her whisper "lucky bitch!" as she walked away.

I could feel Les shaking with mostly repressed laughter next to me. "Illegal, huh?"

I stood on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "Oh yeah. Remember when we took that bath together in Vegas? I'm surprised the water didn't turn to steam."

He pinned me against the display shower and kissed the living daylights out of me until the sound of a throat being cleared pulled us back to reality.

I looked up in a daze. The snippy girl from earlier was standing there with a bright red blush on her face. I blushed too as I realized what we'd been doing for everyone and their cousin to see in the middle of the store.

She wordlessly handed a sheet of paper to Les, who took it without letting me go completely. He compared it to the dimensions on the plans from the architect. "And when could it be ready?" he asked in a husky voice that almost made me moan again. Or throw him to the ground and yell "Hi-ho silver, away!" while I rode him like Zorro.

"Um, anytime," the girl squeaked. "We have two in stock."

"Reserve one," Les said as he handed her his black Amex.

We had a bit more debate over the vanities. The in-stock selection was pretty limited and basic, and the girl who'd helped us earlier was too busy staring at Les's ass to be of any real assistance.

I finally got fed up with her and went in search of the kitchen cabinetry guy from earlier. What? It's still cabinetry, just for the bathroom instead. He was much more helpful, and didn't stare at either of our asses.

We finally decided on a style that was basically the same as the kitchen cabinets, a simple style in a dark finish. Hey, we'd both liked that and it should fit the style of the house.

And since the new master bathroom was going to be so big, the double vanity in there was really freaking long, five feet long to be precise, but that was the dimension from the architect. And there would be two linens towers flanking it on either side. Oh, the storage space for all my makeup and hair supplies. Be still my heart.

Wait, when did I start thinking about this being my house too? Shit.

I didn't have time to think about it much before Les was dragging me off to look at tile for the bathroom floors, walls and the showers.

In the end, I liked a pale gray that came in big square tiles. I might have avoided as much domestic stuff as I could, but I remember my mom complaining about grout lines and the tiny tiles in the bathroom at her house.

I snagged a passing employee and asked her. "Oh yeah, honey. Bigger tiles are definitely better if you're trying to avoid scrubbing grout lines all the time. But they can do tinted grout now and it's a whole lot better than when I was your age," the kind older woman said. "I remember when those tiny one-inch tiles were popular. You'd spend all your time trying to keep those white grout lines clean, but it was impossible unless you could scrub them every day!"

Pass. So not going to happen.

I kept this sweet lady, her name was Sarah, with us while we picked out bathroom things. She was nice, knowledgeable and she didn't try to stare at Les's ass. So basically, she was perfect.

She said she was kind of a Jill of all trades, and she knew a little bit about most things. Her husband had been a contractor professionally, and she'd helped him for years. But once her kids were grown, she was bored, so she worked part-time at Lowe's for the supplemental income and to get away from her now retired (and cranky) husband. Huh, sounded like my dad and his cab.

She helped us pick out tile for the bathroom and suggested we continue the same tile on the floor and walls to make it seem bigger. Worked for me. Les just grinned and let us pick stuff out.

"Don't you care?" I asked in exasperation.

"Honestly, no. If you point out something I hate, I'll speak up. But the whole reason why the whole damn place is white right now is because I don't know anything about color and tile size and all that stuff. That's why I waited for you. You know about this stuff, I'd have never even thought about the size of the tiles," he admitted.

Sarah laughed. "Newlyweds?" she asked.

I blushed and Les nodded. "You're too cute together," she answered.

He grinned at me. "We're cute together," he said as he kissed the top of my head. "Even strangers see it."

I rolled my eyes at him and followed after Sarah as she showed up the glass shower doors. "Now these come in standard sizes, or you can special order them in other sizes," she said.

Les leafed through the stack of papers and handed her a sheet. "Here are the sizes we'll need."

Sarah studied them for a minute. "These are all standard sizes, so they should be in stock or here very quickly."

Then she looked curiously at the stack of papers. "So what else do you need to get?"

I have a feeling she just adopted us.

"Yes, I have. You're my special project for the day," she said with a grin. "So let me help you spend your money. What else do we need to pick?"

I looked at Les with wide eyes. "Out loud?"

He laughed at me. "Yep. But it seems to have worked in our favor. Our fairy godmother is eager to find everything we need. With her help, we might be able to get everything we need today!"

Les grinned and explained about his contractors being ready to start the renovations once we pick out everything. Sarah just grinned and whipped out a notebook from under her computer workstation. She flipped to a new page and started a list.

"Alright, so we've got the shower doors and the glass panels," she said as she wrote down the item numbers from her computer screen. "So let's go take a look at the tile you liked and see if we've got enough in stock or available to get here quick or if we should pick another color."

Within the next few hours, we'd picked out everything, and I do mean everything.

We'd started with the tile before moving on to the faucets. We'd picked faucets for the tub, shower, a double vanity in the master bath, the kitchen sink, and faucets for the other bathrooms. We'd decided on a simple brushed nickel that should look good for years to come. All Les had asked was no more brass. He shuddered when he said that, and I had been in complete agreement.

For the upstairs bathrooms, we picked simple white shower/ tub combo units in smooth fiberglass. We went with classic white toilets, because seriously, who the heck wants a pink toilet? And we went with the big boy versions, because the Merry Men ain't exactly petite.

But the thought of Tank using a tiny pink toilet was freaking hilarious and almost convinced me to stick with pick and tiny. But the thought of what Tank would do to me if he learned I left it that way on purpose convinced me otherwise.

The master bath would have custom-built walk-in shower to go along with the drool-worthy tub, and we'd use the pale gray tile that had launched my discussion with fairy godmother Sarah.

Then we'd picked out light fixtures for pretty much every room in the house. Sarah told me to go with our first instincts, so we had. My only objection had been when Les had wanted a God-awful ceiling fan with bear claw pulls. He wanted it for the living room. I'd gaped at him in horror until he busted out laughing and said he was just kidding.

Then Sarah had pulled us over to the paint area and had parked us in front of a historic collection.

I found myself drawn to certain colors, and Les said he liked them too.

The kitchen, pantry and mudroom would be a soft, pale sunshine yellow that I figured would be cheerful without being overwhelming in the dark wood and silvery room. The pantry and mudroom were smaller and windowless, and the yellow should brighten it up a bit.

I really like a silvery blue for the master bedroom and bathroom. Les said it reminded him of my eyes, so he was perfectly happy with that color. And he'd like to do all the bathrooms in that color since it would go so well with the light gray tile.

Of course, in retaliation, I found a light green that matched his eyes almost perfectly and declared it perfect for the living room. He laughingly objected, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked it.

"Come on! It's pretty and I'll think of you every time I'm in the living room. And don't you want me thinking of you?" I said as I batted my eyelashes at him.

"Baby, I can guarantee that I can make you think of me when we're at home together," he growled against my neck.

Sarah stood back and laughed at us. "It's an older house, right?" she asked.

Les nodded. "Colonial," he confirmed before pulling out his iPhone to show her a picture.

"It's beautiful," she said admiringly. Then she pulled out several booklets of color chips for us to look at.

"Take these home and think about them. You can certainly go with other colors, but these would be historically appropriate for a colonial-style home," Sarah said.

I flipped through them and found several colors that I liked on first review, so I nodded. "We don't have to know the exact colors yet, right?" I asked Les.

He shook his head. "No. Contractor just needs to be able to order the tile and cabinets and all that stuff. I'll need to get the lists from everyone and I'll drop them off with Charlie first thing Monday morning so he can get on it. But I'm pretty sure we can pick out the paint and stuff later."

Sarah nodded. "Paint will probably be one of the last things they'll do," she explained. "You don't want to paint and then get it dirty or dusty from the other construction work. And since we mix it up here, there's nothing to order. So you should have plenty of time with that."

I just nodded. My head was spinning and I was freaking starving. I couldn't believe all we'd accomplished, but if I didn't eat soon, I couldn't be held responsible for what happened when my stomach crawled out of my body to terrorize Trenton like Godzilla did Tokyo.

"Okay, kids, I'll type up your lists while you get the info from the kitchen design people," Sarah said. "I'll be at my computer near the tile section where we first met."

We nodded and headed off to the kitchen area. It had been well past the hour that Les had given the cabinetry guy, so I felt sure he had stuff ready for us. And he did.

The color pictures were really cute and even Les seemed impressed. "Damn, baby, it's going to be nice!" he said.

I nudged him with my hip. "Don't sound so shocked, Santos!"

He grinned and pulled me close. "I'm not. But this is why I begged you to help. I told you that you'd make it look good."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now feed me."

"Ma'am, yes ma'am. Let's get the list from Sarah and I'll take you wherever you want. I can't believe we've got everything ready to order after only one day!" Les said in a shocked voice.

"And I can't believe we never once set eyes on my FTA," I grumbled.

"Oh shit," Les muttered. "I forgot. I'm sorry. Forgive me?" he asked with sad green eyes.

"Yeah, if you feed me."

"You're easy," he replied with a grin.

I punched him in the shoulder. "You should know I'm not!"

His eyes darkened and his lower lip went between his teeth. "No shit!" he muttered.

I stuck my hands on my hips. "What was that?"

He sighed and pulled me into his arms. "I said no shit. I take at least two cold showers a day. So I know you're not easy. It was just a stupid joke, sorry."

"I'd make you sleep on the couch tonight, but there are laws that prohibits cruel and unusual punishment," I told him. "And I told you I wasn't like your other dates, so you were warned."

"I know, Beautiful. And I'm happy to wait. Okay, happy isn't the right word. Resigned, maybe. I'm hornier than hell, but I'll wait until you're ready for more than just dating," he promised.

I blushed bright red and buried my face in his chest. "Le-es!" I wailed, turning his one-syllable name into two.

I could feel his chest shake as he laughed. "You wanted me to be honest."

I had no response for that so I just walked off. I could hear him laughing as he followed me. Stupid boys. Why do I bother again?

My face had gone from fire engine red to merely rose by the time I'd trudged through the store to Sarah's computer station. She smiled when we approached. "Almost done!" she called out.

I plopped down on a stack of tile. My feet hurt, I was starving and I was embarrassed. If I was honest, I was also a little turned on myself from Les's comment, but I'd never admit to that one.

Les stood beside me, his hand on my shoulder. "You okay?" he whispered.

I nodded without looking at him.

"Steph, baby, what's wrong?" he asked as he squatted down in front of me, his eyes full of concern.

I shrugged and looked down at my hands in my lap. He tilted my chin up with his index finger. "Please tell me?"

Shit, he knows I can't resist please.

"Just tired and embarrassed, I guess," I finally answered.

"Tired, I get. I have been dragging you around all day without stopping to think about how long we've been here. Sorry, I got excited about finishing the house and didn't think about how tiring it was. But why are you embarrassed, baby?" he asked.

"Can we not talk about it here?" I asked with a quick glance at a curious Sarah, who was trying to pretend like she wasn't watching us.

He followed my gaze. "Yeah, if you'll promise that we can talk about it later."

I nodded reluctantly. Anything to make him stop talking about it right now.

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Okay. So be thinking about what you want for dinner, then," he said as he straightened to his full, impressive height. He tucked a curl behind my ear before he walked over to speak with Sarah.

Five minutes later, I had decided that I definitely needed a manicure, since my cuticles were awful, I wanted something other than Pino's for dinner, and Les had the best ass in all of New Jersey, possibly the whole US. But then he was back with a very thick stack of printed out of stuff.

"Ready, Beautiful?" he asked.

I nodded and he held out one hand to help me to my feet.

I accepted his help and turned to Sarah. "Thank you for your help. We'd still be looking at tile without you!" I told her with a smile.

She smiled back. "You're welcome. My name and everything is on the first page, so just let me know if you need anything else. And bring in some pictures once you're done! I'd love to see how it all turns out."

"We will," I told her with a fond grin. "Thank you again."

With that, Les wrapped his arm around me and guided me out to his SUV. "Where to, Beautiful?"

"Anyplace other than Pino's," I replied. "I run into Morelli every time I step foot in there lately, and I'm just not in the mood to deal with him tonight."

Les turned to look at me. "Is he giving you trouble?" he asked in a soft growl.

"No, he just seems to think that I should ignore the fact that he cheated on me. Same old bullshit as usual. 'Cupcake, Bob misses you. The boys miss you.' Then he'll ask me to come watch a game," I replied with a grimace. "I keep telling him no, but that just seems to make him more eager to wear me down or something."

Les slammed his hand against the steering wheel and I jumped. "Son of a bitch!" he practically roared. "First he cheated on you, and now he expects you to forgive that? What the fuck?"

I reached out and put my hand on his tense arm. "Hey, it's not like it matters. There's no way in hell I'm ever getting back with him, no matter what. And well, with things between us like they are, well, I don't want to mess anything up," I told him. "So you don't need to worry about him."

It took him a minute to get himself under control. "I'm not worried that you'll give in to him, baby, I'm pissed that he would even try after what he did," Les explained, his face still hard and foreboding.

I scooted across the seat and inserted myself into his arms. "Don't worry about Morelli. Last I heard, Terry's Uncle Vito wasn't very happy with him either, so he'll be getting his sooner than later. And it's not smart to mess with the Family," I reminded him.

That coaxed a half smile from Les. "Maybe. But it's not wise to mess with me and mine either," he said in a flat voice.

"Oh, just think of the look on his face when he finds out that I'm yours," I cajoled. "He'll shit a brick!"

That earned a full smile. "Yeah. He will. But are you mine?"

Shit. Trust him to pick up on that line. "Yeah, you know I am. I've been trying to be honest with you, the thought of being married again scares the crap out of me, but this thing with us, well, it's great. I like it. I'm trying, I really am, to figure everything out as fast as I can."

I guess he needs a little reassurance, too. So cute.

With that, he kissed me gently. "I know. And I'm trying to be patient. Don't let me push you on this, okay? I love you, you know this, but I don't want to push you into anything. I don't want you to feel pressured. When you're ready, you let me know. Okay?"

I kissed him back. "Okay. But you need to feed me now before I starve to death."

He laughed and kissed my nose. "Yes, ma'am. Sure you don't want to go to Pino's and let me go all macho Latin lover on Morelli's ass?"

I laughed at the mental image. "Not tonight, my Latin lover."

"So maybe tomorrow night?" he asked in a hopeful tone.

I grinned. "Maybe."

"Deal. How about Mexican then?"

I shrugged. "I need lots of food, and fast. I don't care what kind."

He grinned and put the car in gear. "Los Amigos is fast and good."

"Then drive on," I ordered as I slid back over to my seat and put my seatbelt on.

He was right, it was fast and good, and the portions were gigantic. Considering how hungry I was, that was a very good thing!

Les brought in the stack of papers from Lowe's and the stuff from his architect, Charlie, to look through. "Damn, Beautiful, I think we picked out just about everything but the paint! The only thing left is to decide what color to refinish the hardwood floors."

"Which rooms will have wood floors?" I asked as I sucked down a glass of Diet Coke and practically annihilated the chips and salsa.

"All except the bathrooms. Those will be tile," Les replied as he ate a chip dripping with salsa.

"What about the bedrooms?" I asked.

"Wood. Figured we'd get some big area rugs to make it a little softer on the feet. But old houses like that pretty much had wood or tile floors, and I've been trying to go historically accurate when possible. Would that work for you?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me. I just haven't ever lived in a place that didn't have carpet in the bedrooms, so it was a surprise."

"Baby, maybe I'm being real optimistic here, but I hope you'll be living there with me as soon as the renovations are done. So I want you to be happy. If you'd rather have carpet in the bedrooms, we'll have them put down carpet over the wood floors," he insisted.

I reached out to grab his hand. "Les, please. This is your house. You bought it and want to make it historically accurate, so do what you want with it. And honestly, wall-to-wall or area rug carpet doesn't matter to me in the slightest."

He sighed. "I just want you to feel comfortable there."

"I do. I will. If you're there, I'll be comfortable there."

"Yeah, but I want you to be comfortable there if I'm not there. If I'm gone on business or something, I want you to be at home there too. That's why I wanted you to help me pick out stuff. Yeah, part of it was because I don't have the first fucking clue how to pick out shit, but part of it was because I want you to be able to look around our house and see stuff that we picked out together."

Way to melt a girl's heart, Santos. "You're the sweetest guy around, did you know that?"

He looked disgusted and ate another chip. Guess badasses don't do sweet.

I grinned. "No really, you are. I'm being all freaked out about everything, and I'm sure it's making you nuts, but you still want me to help pick out stuff for your house."

"Beautiful, I told you that I'd be patient. I've waited for years, never expecting that I'd be anything but friends with you. So you take whatever time you need to be sure. Because once you decide that you're really mine, I'm never letting you go. It's forever, Beautiful," he cautioned.

My heart, and doo dah, warmed at that thought of forever with Les.

"You're incredible," I murmured. "And I don't deserve you."

"Baby, I don't deserve you. I've done a lot of bad shit in my life. I've been a player because I figured no woman would truly want me once she got to know me and all the dark and twisted shit I've done. Hell, that I still do sometimes if I have to. But you know me better than any woman in the world, even my mom and sisters, and you still seem to think I'm an okay guy. So I don't deserve you."

Okay, this is getting entirely too emotional. "So hardwood floors?" I asked.

He laughed at me. "Too emotional?"

"Damn skippy."

He grinned. We discussed options for a bit until the food arrived, but we ultimately decided on a lighter colored finish for the floors. With the darker wood tones we both liked for furniture, we figured lighter colored floors would be best since it would be too hard to match the floors with furniture finishes. Plus we could always change up how the floor looked with the area rugs.

After a dessert of deep fried ice cream, which left me moaning and Les groaning at my moaning, we headed back to my apartment, since it was closer and I was beyond tired.

"No problem, baby. Your place is fine, we just have to cuddle a little closer on your bed," he said with waggling eyebrows.

I smiled. "Somehow, I doubt you see that as a hardship," I said wryly.

"Oh, it's hard alright, Beautiful," he replied.

I blushed and looked away. Les, one. Stephanie, zero.

"You're sexy when your cheeks go all pink like that," Les mused as he drove. "Makes me think about when I've done something to really turn you on, 'cause your face flushes like that then too."

And with that, my face went fire engine red again. "Les!"

He shot me a smug grin. "Yeah, baby?"

"Stop it!"

"No way, Beautiful. Too much fun, and you're too damn sexy when you look like that," he told me. Les, two. Stephanie, still zero.

So I just rolled my eyes and looked out the window while he drove back to my apartment. He scooped up the stack of papers from the backseat and grabbed a black overnight bag that I hadn't noticed from the floorboard.

Then he was holding his hand out to me as we took the elevator up. Huh, guess he knows me after all.

_**Author's note: **__Sorry for dropping off the face of the planet!_

_So it's been an insane few days. Wednesday was just plain busy, and I ran from one meeting to the next. Sometimes literally. I'm sure I looked cute dashing across campus in my heels. By the time I finally had a free minute when I got home, it was after 8 pm and I was completely wiped out and the thought of even editing stuff I'd already written was beyond what my brain could handle._

_Then yesterday I met with my dissertation chair and he basically told me to start over with chapter 4. I spent months and untold hours writing that 80 page academic document with almost no guidance from him, and then he said he didn't like how I had it organized and that I needed to completely redo it. I managed to suppress my first reaction, uncontrollable tears, and even my second, a strong urge to commit murder, but my third was general anger and rage that I still haven't gotten over. He gave me only 3 sentences worth of guidance, which I followed, and now he doesn't like what I did. Well, maybe if you gave me some freaking help on what you wanted from me, I wouldn't have wasted four damn months writing 80 pages that you now say is basically worthless!_

_Can you tell I'm seriously displeased?_

_So I was in such a dour state of mind by the time that I got home that I just couldn't handle anything beyond shoving comfort food in my face and then going to sleep. I think I'm turning into Stephanie Plum! If only I had a few Merry Men to got put the fear of God into my dissertation director… _

_And then my grandmother-in-law had another stroke (or stokes) last night and we're waiting to hear back on how she's doing. _

_This week officially sucks. I want a do over!_

_So here's a very late chapter. I'll do my best to post at least one chapter over the weekend to make up for missing two days!_

_Please, PLEASE review. I __need__ them more than you can possible know!_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11**_

After getting exhausting ourselves at Lowe's, we were cuddled together on the couch together watching 'I, Spartacus' (his choice, not mine) when I heard a distinctive knock on the door.

Oh shit!

"Beautiful?" Les asked softly as he grabbed his gun off the coffee table and flipped off the safety.

"That's Morelli's knock," I breathed quietly into his ear.

Les tensed instantly, becoming the battle-hardened badass that I knew existed but whom I rarely saw.

"Does he have a key?" Les whispered.

I shook my head. "I made him give it back. But that never stopped him before."

The knock came again. "Cupcake?" Joe called out. "I know you're there, your car is here. I brought pizza, I just want to talk to you."

Fuck! What do I do?

"How do you want to handle this, Beautiful?" Les asked softly.

Hell if I know. I looked at Les with panicked eyes. "I don't know. I don't want you to shoot him, but I don't want to talk to him either."

"Okay. Trust me, then. Okay, baby?"

"Just don't do anything stupid, alright?"

He shot me a reassuring grin as he stood and pulled off his shirt. "I won't be stupid, but I will let Morelli know that he lost his chance with you. Go get in bed, baby."

"You sure?" I asked nervously as Joe started knocking again, this time angrily.

"Cupcake, open the door! I know you're in there!" Joe yelled.

"Yeah, baby. Go in the bedroom," Les said as he shoved me gently towards the bedroom door. I was in the bedroom when Les tossed his shirt and cargos at the foot of the bed.

He winked at me and then pulled the door mostly closed. I dialed 911 and kept my finger on send button, just in case.

I heard the front door open and then Joe's angry yell. "What the fuck is going on?" he bellowed.

I could hear Les responding, but his voice was too low for me to make out the words.

I could hear angry voices and the tension got too much for me, so I peeked out. I was wearing Les's faded gray Army shirt and a pair of smiley face boxer shorts that were barely visible under the long t-shirt.

I opened the door slightly and was relieved to see that both Les and Joe were still standing. Joe looked ready to kill, but Les had his patented RangeMan blank face on. It made me nuts sometimes and I'm sure it made Joe abso-fucking-lutely nuts right now.

"Stephanie!" Joe yelled as soon as he saw me. "What the fuck is going on?"

I stepped into the room. "I figured it would be pretty obvious, Morelli," I replied.

Les held out his hand to me and I stepped up and took it. He pulled me against his almost naked body, yum, and I curled my arm around his waist.

"You're sleeping with this thug?" Joe yelled.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "He's not a thug, he's the best man I know," I replied calmly, which I knew would also be making Joe nuts. "And it's none of your business who I sleep with."

Joe shoved his hand through his hair. "Shit, Stephanie! I came to see if we could get back together and you're having sex with this, this…" he trailed off.

"Watch your words, Morelli," I warned with steel in my voice. "I've been telling you for months now that all hope of us ever being together died the day that you decided to fuck Terry Gilman while we were supposed to be together. I've told you again and again to leave me alone. If you show up at my apartment again, I'll file charges against you for harassment. I've moved on, and found a much better man. Now leave me the hell alone!"

Joe looked livid. "Better man?" he repeated disbelievingly.

"Much better man," I corrected. "In ever possible way. So leave us alone. Take your pizza and your boys to Terry and her Uncle Vito. I don't want to ever see you again, in any capacity. If I have to talk to the chief about it, I will. I'd hoped we could at least work together, but not if you're going to show up at my apartment and harass me!"

"I'm not harassing you!" Joe countered.

"What do you think the chief would call it?" Les asked in a deceptively soft voice. "She's asked you repeatedly to leave her alone. She's made it clear that she is not interested in any type of relationship with you. Yet you just broke into her apartment. That right there is breaking and entering, bordering on stalking."

"I have a key!" Joe yelled.

"You gave it back!" I yelled in return. "So how the hell do you still have a key to my apartment, Detective Morelli?" I asked, putting massive amounts of disdain on his title.

Joe looked uncomfortable.

"He made a copy," Les replied evenly. "We'll change out your locks first things in the morning."

I glared at Joe. "This true?" He looked away and I knew it was. "Get out. Get out, and stay out! If you come near me again, I'll report all of this, and so help me God, you'll be back to writing fucking traffic tickets!"

Joe glared at Les and me for a minute before turning and stomping away, slamming the door as he left. God, what a juvenile. A juvenile delinquent.

Once Joe was gone and Les had relocked the doors, including the chain, I was shaking in delayed rage.

Les wrapped me up in his arms and carried me into the bedroom. "You okay, baby?" he asked softly.

I nodded and he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. "I'll be right back," he said. "Two minutes, I promise."

True to his word, he slid back into bed with me less than two minutes later. I heard him set down the gun beside the bed and then he pulled me back into his arms. "I called the control room and had them set up patrols around your apartment for tonight," he said softly. "We'll put in a new set of locks in the morning."

I just nodded and tried not to cry. I didn't want to think about how the night would have ended if Les hadn't been here.

"Shh, I'm here. I won't let him get to you, Beautiful," he whispered. "I've got you."

Damn that Joe Morelli! I would say 'and his little dog too', but I actually like Bob.

I fell asleep to Les rubbing my back gently and holding me in his arms.

When I woke up the next morning, Les was sleeping next to me and still has his arms tight around me. Even in his sleep, he was trying to comfort and protect me. Aww, he really was sweet.

But right now, I really had to pee, so sweet or not, he needed to let go!

I wiggled my way free and dashed to the bathroom. Ah, sweet relief!

When I got back, Les was sitting up in bed. "Sorry," I said as I crawled in next to him. "Mother Nature called."

He put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head as I snuggled against his chest. "No worries, Beautiful. I woke up when you did your Ursain Bolt impression."

"Who?"

"Olympic sprinter," he answered.

"When you gotta go, you gotta go!" I replied with a smile. I smiled wider when his chest shook with laughter.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied after a moment. "How are you feeling this morning?"

Ugh, he's going for the hard question. "I don't know. Pissed mostly."

"About?"

I shot him a look. "About Morelli being a grade-A asshole, duh," I replied.

Les shook with more laughter. "Are you mad that he thinks we're dating?"

"Les, we are dating!"

He laughed again. "I know, baby, but you also didn't really want people to know yet. But I couldn't come up with another way to convince him to leave you alone long-term without putting a bullet in him somewhere on such short notice."

"Bullet idea is sounding better and better," I muttered against the hard, honey hued chest in front of me.

"I can make that happen," Les promised.

"Too much paperwork," I sighed. "He's not worth it. If he bothers me again, I'll go to the chief. I've been keeping a log of all the times he bugs me, and I'll add last night's debacle to it."

"When did you start that?" Les asked curiously.

I shrugged. "A couple of months after I caught him banging Terry. He started sniffing around me again, and I told him where he could shove his excuses. I read this thing online about co-workers who were harassing you and that you should have a detailed list to take to the boss, and I figured it would serve the same purpose with him in case he didn't stop."

Les squeezed me tight. "Smart thinking. But I wish you would have told me about it."

"It hasn't been too bad, just annoying. Last night was the first time he showed up here since I caught him in flagrante. Dollars to donuts, someone saw us at Lowe's and told someone and word got out that I was being all lovey-dovey at a home improvement store with some new hottie who wasn't Morelli. Bet you anything I get a call from my mom today, too. Joe always got jealous when he thought there was some kind of competition for my affections."

Les just shook his head. "So us being out together yesterday probably outed us?" he said in disbelief.

"Yep," I said, popping the p. "Welcome to my world. I'll take constant source of freaking 'Burg gossip for $200, Alex."

"Damn. That's just wrong! You should be able to go buy some freaking paint without everyone knowing about it!" Les said.

I shrugged. "I should. But I can't. It's just how it is."

His arms tightened around me. "Shit, I'm sorry," he apologized. "You said it was bad, but I never realized it was that bad."

"It's okay. And it's probably better if people start to think we're dating now so it won't be a huge shocker when things come out," I told him.

He pulled back to look at me. "When?"

I blushed. "Um," I hedged.

"I like when," he said as he settled his chin on the top of my head. "When works for me."

I had to grin at his matter of fact tone. He could have teased me, or pushed me on the exacting timing of when, but he knew that would probably just make me more uncomfortable, so he was just being a nice guy and letting me hide. Good man.

We cuddled together until he cell phone rang. "Yo," he answered.

Then he launched into Spanish and I had not hope of following. A few minutes later, he hung up and turned to me. "Hector's here to put in new locks and a security system."

I narrowed my eyes at me.

"Beautiful, please," Les said, bringing out the big guns. "I don't trust that bastard and I want you safe when I'm not here with you. We definitely have to change our your locks since he made a copy of your key, and we'll just put in a basic system with a pass code. Not one that you can shoot or anything."

Hardy har har. Shoot one little security system and you can never live it down.

"Fine," I sighed. "But tell Hector to make it idiot-proof or I'll find a way to shoot the shit out of it."

Les grinned at me. "Noted."

Then he got up, threw on his clothes and ambled out to oversee the securing of my apartment.

I came out once I'd gotten dressed and waved at Hector. "Hola," I said, exhausting my Spanish knowledge that didn't involve the Taco Bell menu.

"Hola, Estefania," Hector replied before he turned the drill back on.

I watched for a minute before getting bored. Changing out locks wasn't all that fascinating, even though it seemed to hold Les's attention. So I pulled out the paint chip cards instead.

I'd found an old pack of sticky notes from some give away or another and had marked the colors I'd liked and noted for which rooms. Les could look at them later and approve or veto them.

That only took twenty minutes, but I knew I wouldn't be able to watch TV over the sound of power tools, so I fired up the laptop.

My only email was junk mail letting me know that some Nigerian businessman needed just a bit of help from me and I'd get several million dollars in exchange. If only.

So I started surfing the furniture websites and emailed a page of links to Les. My shopping duty done, I finally gave up and started playing Solitaire.

It took another hour and a half for Les and Hector to get a security system installed. They put in sensors on the door and all the windows in my apartment, and Les went a little slap happy with panic buttons. There was at least one hidden in every room.

"Have you lost your mind?" I fumed once he showed me where they were.

"No, Beautiful. I'd put in more bells and whistles, but I know you'd have a cow. But this way, you can push a button and we'll be here to shoot the shit out of Morelli if he tries to break in again. And we've installed a few hidden cameras, but I swear to you that they won't activate unless the alarm goes off."

I shook my head. "I really don't think this is necessary!"

Les said something in Spanish to Hector, and Hector nodded and vanished.

Les pulled me into his arms. "Baby, you were scared last night. Don't try to deny it, because I know the truth."

"Yeah, but I don't think he'd try to hurt me."

"Doesn't matter. He has no right to show up here, beat on your door, scare you and then break it. And it was breaking in, he made an illegal copy of your key. I'll be here as much as I can, but I can't be here all the time, and I need to know that you'll be safe from that asshole and any other freak who tries to break in," Les said. "I have way more security than this at my house, and I have guns hidden all over the place there too. I'll be happy to get Hector and some of the guys here to install more security if you'll just let us."

"No, this is more than enough! Dillon will probably shit a brick as it is."

"It's all wireless, so you should get your security deposit back," Les said.

I started laughing hysterically at that point and Les drew back in alarm. "Beautiful?"

"Dear God, Les, there's no way in hell I'm getting my security deposit back! How many times has this place been firebombed since I've lived here?" I asked.

He grinned sheepishly. "Good point. So can we put in some better stuff then? This stuff is adequate but not the best we have, and only the best for you, baby."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm sure this will be fine. So you want to show me how to use it so I don't have to shoot it?"

I felt him chuckle before he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door. He walked me through how to arm and disarm the system. Since no one knew about it, he used our wedding date as the code. "People usually use important numbers, so we'll change it once we tell everyone," he said. I shot him a look at that last bit and he grinned. "I'm an optimist, remember? But for now, it should be a date you can still remember but that no one else will know."

I'd have to remember to set the panel if I wanted to open a window, but I doubted I'd have much reason to open them much since it was moving into autumn and it was getting cooler outside.

"Alright, I'll try not to shoot it. But I make no promises."

"Beautiful, it would probably make everyone's day just to know your gun was actually loaded," Les said with a grin right before he kissed me. "Now, I'm hungry. You got any food in this place?"

I did not, so we headed out to Shorty's for an early lunch. Or a late breakfast, depending on your perspective.

"Bombshell!" Cal yelled as soon as we walked in. "How was Vegas?"

"What am I? Chopped liver?" Les asked as we sat down with Cal, Manny and Binkie.

"We see your ugly mug all the time," Cal joked. "We don't get to see her pretty face around anymore."

I grinned. "It was fun. We went skydiving!" We chatted for a bit until Manny and Binkie had to leave on an alarm call.

Cal leaned back to look at us. "So what's up with you two?" Cal asked after a couple of minutes.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I tensed. Les slid his hand over my knee.

"I mean, what's up with you two?" Cal said with an eye roll. "You two dating or what?"

"None of your business," Les growled.

Cal held up his hand. "Just curious to see if I could ask her out, man," Cal said with a wink at me.

I snorted when Les's hand tightened on my leg. "No," Les said in a low tone.

"So you are dating," Cal said triumphantly.

"We can continue this discussion on the mats if you like," Les offered with a death glare.

"No problem, man. I can see she's off the market, even if you don't want to admit it," Cal said with a smirk.

"He's just trying to rile you," I told Les.

"He's doing a damn good job," Les said under his breath.

I laughed. "Must be quite a change, you're usually the one trying to rile up everyone else."

"Fuck," Les said with a sigh as his cell phone went off. He checked the display and sighed. "It's the control room, I have to take this. Be right back."

I smiled at a smirking Cal once Les left to step outside. "So what is up with you two?" Cal asked.

"Didn't you just ask this question?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I didn't get a good answer," Cal said as he took a sip of his water.

"And what makes you think I'm going to give you a better answer than he did?"

"I can be persuasive."

I snorted. "I can be stubborn. And since I'm pretty positive you won't resort to Git-mo style persuasion, I think my stubbornness trumps your persuasive abilities."

He got a chagrined look on his face. "Damn, not even a hint? You two have been spending an awful lot of time together, and I can't even tell you the last time I saw Santos hook up. So there's got to be something going on!"

I made a zipping my lips motion and pretended to throw away the key.

Cal grinned at me. "What are you? Six?"

I just crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows at him. "So tell me this, then. What happened last night? We ran patrols around your apartment looking for the cop. I thought he was out of the picture for good?" Cal asked.

I sighed. "He is, but he seems to have a few problems accepting that. He showed up and had apparently had made a copy of my key before he gave it back, and he let himself in. Thank God Les was there."

Cal went from the joking buddy to the scary badass, and the flaming skull tattoo on his forehead seemed to turn a darker red. "Fucker broke in?"

I nodded.

"Santos already get new locks installed? 'Cause if he didn't, I'm off now and I'll be at your place within the hour to do it," Cal said.

I reached out and patted his hand. "No, he and Hector already put in new locks and a security system. I'll try not to shoot this one, but Les said you guys would probably just be happy to know that I had bullets in my gun if I did."

Cal relaxed a bit at that and smiled. "Yeah. But shooting the cop would be even better. We could get rid of the body or make it look like an accident."

I rolled my eyes. "I'll keep you on speed dial."

"Deal."

Les came back then, an apologetic look on his face. "Sorry, Beautiful, but I'm going to have to go in. The alarm that the guys went to is one of our biggest client, and one of the ones I usually work with. The client is demanding to see me."

"It's fine," I told him. "I understand."

"Can you give her a ride home?" Les asked Cal, who nodded. "I'll call you later, then," Les told me with a quick grin before he started jogging for the door.

Cal hung out with me while I ate my pizza, and I got the rest boxed up. I knew what I was having for dinner tonight.

Cal drove me home and even stayed to watch the last two innings of the Yankees game with me. "Now be sure to set the alarm," he cautioned as I walked him to the door.

"Yes, dad," I said as I rolled my eyes.

He grinned at me. "So if I'm your dad, do I get to ask Santos about his intentions towards you?"

I snorted. "I'd love to see that. Really, I would."

Cal laughed and pulled the door shut. "And don't forget to lock up!" I rolled my eyes again and locked all my nice shiny new locks and set the new alarm. Right now, only me, Les and Hector had keys to the locks and only the three of us knew the alarm code, so I felt pretty secure in Fort Stephanie.

Alas, it was boring in Fort Stephanie, so I puttered around my apartment for a while.

I jumped when my cell phone rang an hour later. It was Les. "Hey, Beautiful," he said, sounding distracted.

"Hey. What's wrong?"

He sighed. "Just a long day already. Vandals managed to trash the place pretty good and the owner is seven shades of pissed. I'm still trying to get him calmed down, and I'm not sure if that's going to happen or not. But I probably won't make it back over before I go on duty tonight. I'm sorry, baby."

"It's okay. Shit happens."

"Thanks for understanding. You get back okay?"

"Yeah, Cal and I watched the rest of the Yankees game and then he headed back to get some sleep. I'll all locked in now and will probably stay that way. I guess word hasn't gotten out about us at Lowe's since I haven't gotten the 'why me?' calls from my mom or any of the 'Burg busybodies, so I'll probably just stay in and have my leftover pizza tonight."

"Good, I'm glad you don't have to deal with that shit," Les replied. "I'm going to have to go now, but I'll try to call you again when I can. Love you."

And click. He was about as close to perfect as a man could get, but would it kill him to say goodbye?

_**Author's note: **__And the Merry Men are starting to get curious!_

_Next week is finals week, and I'll try to keep up the daily posting schedule, but I can't promise it. I'm usually very popular during finals week as students get anxious and need to stop by for a chocolate fix or a shoulder to cry on. I know that feeling after my week last week!_

_Thanks for your encouragement regarding my dissertation snafu. It means a lot that you'd take the time to write me. Your comments have helped my self-esteem immensely this weekend when I felt like a complete loser, so thank you ever so much!_

_Please review, they make me smile! _


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

Les did manage to call me again later, but it wasn't until after he was technically on duty. He sounded tired, and he was just starting his twelve-hour shift.

"Hey, Beautiful," he said.

"Hey, Les. What's going on? You sound exhausted."

He sighed and I was instantly on edge. "Les?"

"It's nothing. Just tired from trying to calm down this guy all afternoon. If he'd let us put in the system we'd suggested, we'd have gotten the alert much earlier and we could have prevented most of the damage, but he didn't want all the sensors we recommended. But of course he wasn't in the mood to listen to that, so I just had to listen to him bitch about how we're all incompetent. Just pissed me off. But he's a big client so I had to suck it up and kiss his ass, and I don't like doing that."

His voice shifted a bit and I could hear his smile. "Well, unless it's your ass. I love doing anything to your ass."

I blushed. "Please tell me you're not on the control floor!"

He laughed. "No, baby. I'm in my apartment on four. I needed a few minutes alone to call you and grab a shower before I head back up. Hopefully all will be quiet and I can just catch up on some paperwork."

"Nice to be the boss, huh?" I teased.

"Sometimes," he answered seriously. "And sometimes it sucks ass. Sometimes it would be easier to just show up and watch the monitors and not have to worry about everything else."

"What's your obsession with ass, Santos?"

"Only yours, baby, only yours," he replied with a laugh. "So what did you do this afternoon?"

We chatted for a bit before he needed to grab a shower and head back upstairs to relieve Bobby. "If I don't talk to you again tonight, sleep well, Beautiful. And I love you."

"Hope it stays quiet for you," I replied. "And try not to kill anyone."

He did text me right before I was going to bed. They'd gotten a tip on a high dollar skip, and he was heading out to help with the take down. I texted him back to be careful and he texted back that he would be.

I kept the phone by my bed just in case he tried to call or text again, but I guess I fell asleep since I woke up when my alarm clock went off the next morning.

I smacked at the snooze button a few times before I finally hauled myself out of bed and into the shower.

I hit the bond's office and hung out with the girls for a while. There were a couple of new skips from over the weekend, but they were mostly repeats or low level skips who shouldn't be a major problem. But combined with my files from last week, I guess I needed to get to it.

By the time I hauled myself home for dinner, I was nearly $800 richer. Go me!

I found Les sprawled out on my bed sleeping peacefully and decided he had the right idea, so I crawled into bed next to him for a little afternoon siesta.

I woke up a couple of hours later as Les was snuggling back up to me as he crawled back in bed. "Hey, Beautiful," he said as I blearily opened my eyes.

"Hey," I answered as I tried to shove my hair out of the way. "You sleep good?"

He smiled at me. "Yeah. It was a nice surprise to wake up with you here."

I grinned at him. "I came home and found Goldilocks in my bed, but I couldn't resist crawling in next to you for a nap. You looked so cute sleeping in my bed."

He kissed my nose and smiled at me. "Well, I hope you think I'm really cute sleeping in your bed. I spoke with Charlie, my architect slash contractor, and he can get his crews to start working on the house tomorrow. It'll be a smaller crew at first to get the prep work done, but it means I'll be homeless," he said as he shot me a sad puppy dog look with those beautiful green eyes. "So could I stay with you, my beautiful wife?"

I shook my head at his antics. "Of course you can, but don't you have an apartment at Haywood?"

"Yeah, but I'd prefer to be with you."

"Oh gee, you prefer me to a bunch of sweaty dudes. Wow, I'm shocked, I tell you! Shocked!" I said in mock amazement.

Before I could blink, I was pinned on my back by a smiling Les. "How about I show you what I'd prefer to do with you?" he asked huskily before he started kissing me.

One of his hands tangled in my hair and the other curled around my rib cage as he settled his hips between my thighs and he leaned in to kiss me. My brain short-circuited as his chest pressed me against the bed.

Oh sweet mother of God!

He was in nothing but a thin pair of boxers and I was in only one of Les's t-shirts and a pair of thin cotton briefs. So basically, there was very little keeping us from the promised land.

He'd slid his mouth away from mine to tease at that spot on my neck that he knew always turned me into a gibbering pile of goo and I was trying to remember why we hadn't been doing this for weeks now.

Beats me.

"You said I could try to persuade you," he murmured against the curve of my left breast and I tried to shift to get his mouth where I wanted it. "Am I being persuasive enough?"

Oh holy hell, he'd be able to persuade a nun out of her habit!

But if he didn't move his mouth over about two inches, I was going to kill him.

He chuckled and shifted his mouth, sucking my aching nipple into his warm, wet mouth. I swear I levitated when he grazed it with his teeth, and between that and the vibrations from him chuckling, that was nearly enough to send me into orbit.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and smirked to myself when he groaned against my breast. "Christ, baby, you trying to kill me?"

When I tightened my legs, pulling him closer, he whimpered and then rocked his hips against mine. Then I whimpered.

He had the t-shirt worked up to just under my breasts when his cell phone rang. We both froze and he started swearing in both English and Spanish.

Totally with you, dude. I wanted to cry, personally.

He reached for his phone and I moaned when it caused him to brush against my doodah. His hand tightened on my hip almost painfully as he sucked in a deep breath.

"Someone better be dead. Or I'll kill them," he muttered as he snatched the phone off the nightstand.

"Yo!" he growled.

There was a pause while he listened to the other person. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Les rested his head on my chest as he took a few calming breaths. "Turn on the cameras. Have the guys follow him up but stay out of sight until he does something illegal. I want to bust the son of a bitch and we need evidence this time," he said after a moment.

"Hold on," he said as he shoved the phone under a pillow.

"Beautiful, the guys just saw Morelli in your parking lot and he seems to be drunk. He's on his way up right now. Bobby's turning on the cameras now so we can hopefully catch him trying to break in again. Then we'll haul his ass to jail for attempted breaking and entering."

My legs unhooked from his hips in shock and Les groaned as he levered himself off me. "I'm going to fucking kill him. Worst fucking timing, ever," he muttered as he pulled on his cargo pants. He stuck a small pistol at his waistband and grabbed his big Glock.

"I'm gonna kill him slow and I'll make it hurt beyond his imagination," he said as he looked at me sprawled spread eagle on the bed in shocked disbelief. "Stupid son of a bitch!"

Joe was back? Now? Was he out of his damn mind?

"Yo, man," Les said as he picked up the phone. "Where's he at?"

He jerked the bedroom door open and I'm surprised the door didn't rip off its hinges.

"What the fuck does it matter what I was doing? Focus, man," he growled as he stalked towards the door to my apartment. "Where's the asshole at now?"

When I stumbled out on shaky legs a minute later, Les was standing to the side of my door with his cell phone tucked against his shoulder and the gun in his hand.

He lifted one finger to his lips to keep me silent and then pointed for me to crouch down behind the kitchen bar. "Stay down," he mouthed to me.

My eyes went wide but I followed his directions. "What's going on?" I mouthed back.

"He's outside the door," Les mouthed back at me. "Get down."

I crouched down but peeked around the edge.

It was a long few minutes while we listened to soft scratching noises and soft grunts from the door. My legs were starting to tremble from crouching for so long, so I finally gave up and went down on my knees.

I looked up when I heard Les tap gently twice on his phone, and then he backed up, set the phone on the counter and stood where he'd be out of sight if Joe came in the door.

Less than twenty seconds later, my door swung open and Joe staggered in. Les instantly had him flat on the ground with the gun shoved in the back of his head. "Move and die," Les growled at a thoroughly disoriented Joe Morelli.

Thirty seconds after that, Hal, Zero, Woody and Ram rushed in SWAT style. Within seconds, Joe was trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey, and Ram had his size thirteen combat boot placed firmly on Joe's neck while the business end of a wicked looking assault rifle was pressed into Joe's eyeball.

It couldn't be comfortable. Or hygienic. But it didn't look like the men in black gave a damn about that right now. Actually, I think they were enjoying it.

Once Les saw that Morelli was most definitely not going anywhere, he strode over and pulled me up from behind the bar. "You okay, baby?" he asked as he pulled me into his arms.

I nodded mutely.

He kept one arm around me while he picked up his cell phone. "You get all that?" he spoke into the phone.

"Then call it in to the cops and send one of the guys over with a couple of copies of the videos," Les said before he disconnected the phone.

Les shoved the phone in his pants pocket and then swept me into his arms and carried me into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind us. "Much as I love seeing you in my shirt, I'm not sure you want to debut that look to everyone," he said with an attempt at a smile.

I looked down at my bare legs and grimaced. Guess the guys got a bit of a show. Oh well, his big t-shirt actually covered more of me than some of my distraction outfits did.

I quickly changed into jeans and one of my t-shirts while Les put on his shirt and boots.

We went back into the living room to hear Joe ranting about how he was going to have all of us arrested for assaulting a cop. Les reached the end of his rope and snapped.

"Morelli, I warned you to leave her alone. We have video evidence of you breaking and entering. She's got a RangeMan security system and it's well within our scope to subdue and hold any criminal we catch trespassing. So shut the fuck up before I shut you up!" Les roared.

Joe blinked drunkenly a few times and thankfully stopped his threats. "At least make your goon gets his foot off my neck!" he whined.

"Calling them goons isn't particularly smart given your position right now," I told him.

Ram looked up and winked at me. He was enjoying this a little too much, but I wasn't about to interfere in his fun. Even though I know and trust these guys, they did look scary as hell in their black SWAT gear, so I wasn't going to end his playtime.

A few minutes later, my apartment was flooded with cops. Ram kept his foot on Joe's neck and his gun barrel in his face as long as possible, but he did eventually have to let the cops take over. I swear he pouted a little when he reluctantly stepped back.

"What happened, Steph?" Eddie asked as he shot a dirty look at Joe and walked over to me.

I took a deep breath and explained how Joe had been bugging me for a while, but it had gotten worse over the last couple of days. Eddie looked livid when I explained how Joe had made a copy of my key before he gave it back and then had let himself, and how he'd spent at least ten minutes picking my new locks tonight.

"Son of a bitch!" he spat. Then he looked at Les. "Glad you were here."

Les just nodded. "Me too. We put in a new security system and we have everything tonight on video. We want to press charges for breaking and entering at least."

Eddie nodded. "That's a pretty clear case, shouldn't be a problem. He's drunk as a skunk right now, so we can probably add in drunk driving and public drunkenness charges too. Not sure about harassment and abuse of power, but I think you've got a good case. I'll do what I can to help, but you'll have to talk to the chief about those," Eddie said.

"Thanks, Eddie," I said softly as Big Dog and Carl Costanza hauled a cursing Joe Morelli to his feet. He was yelling about assault on a police officer again.

"It wasn't assault," I told Eddie. "They waited until he broke in and then they just cuffed him and held him until you guys got here. It's all on the video," I assured him.

"I know, Steph. I have a feeling that if these guys had really assaulted him, he wouldn't be breathing," Eddie said with a slight grin. Les snorted. Guess he agreed.

Bobby showed up while they were trying to get Joe out the door, but Joe was screaming and yelling and kicking, generally making a huge spectacle of himself, and the cops were having a hell of a hard time getting him through the door.

"Want me to drug his ass for you?" Bobby asked with a feral grin at a struggling Morelli.

Morelli glared at Bobby but stopped fighting enough so Big Dog, Carl and Eddie could drag him out. Bobby handed Eddie a DVD as Eddie shoved Joe out the door.

I heard my cop buddies dragging Joe down the stairs, and a couple of startled yelps followed by chuckles from the assault team.

"He should really be more careful going down stairs," Hal said. Whoopsie, guess Joe had a wee little accident.

"You okay, Bomber?" Bobby asked as he sat next to me on the couch.

I nodded. "Yeah. Can't believe he was stupid enough to come back, though."

"Alcohol and smart aren't words that usually go together," Bobby said as he looked me over with a critical eye. "Did he hurt you?"

"Not even close," I assured him. "Les had him pinned before he barely cleared the threshold and then the SWAT team had him cuffed before he could even figure out what happened. He never even had a chance to get near me."

Bobby gave a satisfied smile and bumped fists with Les. "Good."

I rolled my eyes at their male bonding over violence. Gotta love testosterone.

The guys reset my alarm and the cameras before each of them gave me a hug or ruffled my curls or touched me somehow before they left. That left just me, Les and Bobby in my now disheveled apartment.

I sighed and started straightening up the mess. "Leave it, Beautiful," Les said as he came up to wrap his arms around me from behind. "We'll get it in the morning."

"I need to do something," I countered. "Might as well be this."

"Bomber, you eaten anything tonight?" Bobby asked as he reached out and grabbed my slightly shaking hand.

"No. Morelli showed up before we could get any dinner."

"I'd bet anything your blood sugar crashed from the adrenaline. So you need something to eat to get it back up," Bobby said as he checked my pulse with a frown. "I can go grab my kit if you want me to double check it."

"No, I trust you. I'll see if we have any food," I said as I pulled my hand back.

"We?" Bobby echoed. "Who's this we?"

I kept my mouth shut and my head down as I looked through the cabinets for food that wasn't past its expiration date by more than six months.

"Les, man, who's we?" Bobby asked again. "And that reminds me, just why were you half naked earlier?"

"That's none of your damned business, Brown," Les growled.

"Aww, man, come on, I'm your best friend! I know there's something going on with you two, especially now with this we shit!" Bobby protested.

"Don't mean you need to be all up in my business!" Les retorted.

"We're dating!" I blurted. "But you can keep it to yourself!"

Bobby turned to me with an inquisitive light in his brown eyes. Les just grinned and raised one eyebrow at me.

"You're dating?" Bobby asked with a slight smile.

"Yeah."

"And why do I have to keep it to myself?"

"Because I'm damn tired of everyone gossiping about my life and I want to keep my private life private," I told him. "But you're right, he's your best friend and you're one of my good friends, so just keep it to yourself and we'll be cool."

Bobby shot me a blinding smile. "I knew it!" Then his smile faltered slightly. "What about Ranger?"

I sighed. This is why I didn't want to tell people. "Just friends."

Bobby shot me a disbelieving look. "I'm serious. We're just friends," I insisted.

"Maybe," Bobby said slowly. "But does he know that?"

"Absolutely. Without a doubt. I know it didn't really look like it to you guys, but we're really just friends, and he knows that," I reiterated.

"Alright," Bobby said as he lifted his hands in an 'I surrender' gesture. "If you say so."

"I do," I said stubbornly as Les wrapped his arms around me and pressed a kiss to my hair.

"He had his chance and blew it, she's all mine now," Les said with a big grin. "And I'm not letting her go. As the fucker just learned."

Bobby snorted. "Damn, I can't believe you didn't kill him! Bad enough he was trying to mess with our Bomber, but he was trying to break into your girl's apartment! How's he not dead?"

"You have no idea," Les replied softly. "No fucking idea at all."

I leaned back against Les with a happy sigh and he immediately started nuzzling my neck. "Damn, I don't need to see this!" Bobby complained.

I opened my eyes to look at him. "What?"

"I gotta get back to work," Bobby said as he stood and headed to the door. "I didn't need to see that. Damn. Need some brain bleach now."

Les was chuckling and I was confused. "What?"

"I don't think he liked seeing me kiss you," Les explained after a moment.

"Why not?"

"I don't know. He's usually not a prude," Les said as he let go of me and headed to lock the door and set the alarm.

He was almost back to me when his cell phone buzzed with a new text. He pulled out his phone and chuckled. "Bobby wanted to remind me to feed you before your blood sugar crashes any worse," he said. "Did you find anything appealing or should we order in?"

"Order in."

We ordered Chinese food and cuddled on the couch while Les tried to teach me to eat with chopsticks. It was a failed experiment. I am definitely not coordinated enough for chopsticks. I can manage to salsa in five-inch heels, but give me a fork any day.

Once we finished eating, the adrenaline crash had me drooping like a week old daisy, and Les carried me to bed.

_**Author's note: **__Will Joe ever learn? What do you think? Is this the end of Morelli's stupidity, or will he do something else dumb in the future? _

_And should Les let him live after what Joe interrupted?_

_Please let me know what you think! _


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13**_

When I woke up the next morning, I found a note on the nightstand.

_Morning beautiful,_

_I have the early shift this morning but you looked so cute sleeping that I didn't want to wake you. Call me sometime when you're up, I should be in the office all day._

_See you tonight._

_Love,_

_Les_

I smiled at his note and spent a little time just lolling around in bed before I finally dragged myself out to get ready for the day.

I'd just gotten out of the shower and was drinking my first cup of coffee when my phone rang. My mom. Shit.

"Hello, mom," I answered after a resigned sigh.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum, this is your mother!" she all but shrieked. No shit, mom, that's why I said 'hello, mom'.

"Yes, mom."

"I heard you had poor Joseph arrested last night! What were you thinking?" she demanded with nary a breath or pause.

"He tried to break into my apartment. I was thinking that was illegal and I wanted it to stop. It wasn't the first time, either, and I warned him not to do it again," I said.

"I'm sure you're just overreacting, as always," she complained. "You were always such a dramatic child."

"I'm not a child, mom. I'm a grown woman. And he was drunk and spent over ten minutes picking the new locks I'd gotten installed to keep him out!"

"Well, I told Angie Morelli that I'd get this misunderstanding straightened out this morning. So you will drop those charges and apologize to him and his mother, young lady!" she said without listening to a word I said.

"No."

"What?" she sounded surprised.

"I said, no."

"Oh, yes you will, missy!"

Oh, for God's sake. Did she think I was ten years old still?

"No, mom, I will not. Joe broke the law. He broke into my apartment for the second time this week even after I warned him that if he bothered me again, I'd press charges. I will not drop the charges and hell will freeze over before I apologize to him for anything!"

"But I promised Angie Morelli!"

"You shouldn't make promises that aren't yours to keep," I said as calmly as I could manage. "So you'll simply have to tell Angie Morelli that her son is turning into his father and she should have seen it coming!"

"Stephanie Michelle Plum!" my mother sounded completely aghast.

"Mom, I'm not dropping the charges and that's final."

"I raised you better than this, young lady! I am so disappointed in you!"

"So if someone broke into your house, you'd simply let him? Let him do whatever he wanted to you? Great, I'll spread the word that criminals should head to your house then, we'll see how long that philosophy lasts," I said bitterly. My mom cared more about Joe and Angie Morelli than she did me. "And I'm fine, thanks so much for making sure that Joe didn't hurt me when he was breaking in."

She was quiet for only a moment. "You will be at dinner tonight at six sharp, and you will have dropped the charges by then!"

"No." And I hung up. My phone started ringing again immediately, but I just unplugged it.

Then I curled back up in bed and cried. I was hurt, pissed, betrayed and all kinds of messed up. My mom wanted me to forgive Joe for cheating on me, forgive him for breaking into my apartment. Well, screw that. Wasn't going to happen, no matter what she said. Part of me would probably always want my mom to be proud of me, but I was so sick of trying and never getting a kind word or the slightest bit of pride from her.

My cell phone rang later, waking me from a tear-induced sleep. "'Lo?" I answered sleepily.

"You still asleep, baby?" came Les's concerned voice.

"No, back asleep. Had an unfortunate run in with my mom and figured a nap would make everything better," I admitted.

"What happened?"

"Oh, same old, same old. I'm a miserable disappointment, how dare I bring shame upon the name of Plum. I will drop all charges against Morelli immediately and apologize to him and his family for embarrassing him. Oh, and I'll be at dinner tonight to explain my shameful behavior and beg for forgiveness from my poor mother who deserves a sainthood for having to put up with me."

There was a long silence where I could almost see Les trying to get himself under control. "Want me to ship her to Siberia?" he finally asked.

Yes.

"Beautiful?"

"I'm thinking about it. But you sure you want to re-start the Cold War by inflicting my mom on the Russians?"

Les laughed softly. "I'll risk it." Then his voice gentled. "How are you doing?"

I sighed. "Pretty shitty. I know my mom thinks the sun rises and sets in Morelli's ass, but she's willing to ignore the fact that he cheated on me, broke into my apartment and I was pretty much miserable with him because she likes him more than she does me. And I'm her daughter. She's supposed to love me! So why does she care more about him than me?" I asked as tears threatened again. I clenched my jaw and fought them back.

"Because she's fucking nuts and cares too damn much about the 'Burg to see what an amazingly wonderful woman you are," Les said softly. "I'm heading over with some of Ella's cooking for lunch. Sounds like you could use some happy."

That perked me up slightly. I could be dying of the Bubonic plague and Ella food would still make me smile. "I could use a hug," I admitted. "And Ella food wouldn't hurt at all."

"I'll be there in fifteen," he promised.

I dragged myself out of bed, again, and tried futilely to hide the evidence of my bout of tears. But my eyes were so red and puffy that all the Visine in the state wouldn't help at this point.

Les knocked on the door precisely fourteen minutes later and I opened the door. The alarm immediately chirped at me, and I winced as I entered the code. "Crap, I always forget to do that," I muttered.

Les set the bag of food on the counter and immediately turned to pull me into his arms. "You okay?"

"Better now," I admitted as I squeezed him tight. I felt his chin settle on the top of my head as he simply held me for a few minutes.

Eventually, the tantalizing aromas emanating from the bag forced me out of his arms and into the kitchen. "What's for lunch?"

"Beef empanadas," he said with a grin. "You're going to love it."

And I did. Anything that smelled that heavenly got my vote, and it was just as tasty as it smelled. The pastry was flaky while the filling was spicy and delicious.

"Since my mom's going to disown me, can you ask Ella if she'll adopt me?" I asked.

Les grinned. "I'm sure mi tia will adopt you," Les said. "But my mom's going to definitely adopt you."

"Who's Tia?" I asked.

"Tia means aunt in Spanish," he explained. "Ella's my aunt."

I stared at him for a minute. "Ella's your aunt?"

He nodded.

"Just so you know, you should have led with that with the whole reasons to stay married thing," I teased. "So being with you means I automatically get Ella? Sign me up!"

He grinned and pulled me into his lap. "Whatever it takes, Beautiful. I'll get Tia Ella working on more empanadas ASAP!"

I giggled and he kissed me gently before brushing back some of my wild curls. I'd fallen asleep with my hair still wet, so my hair was doing its best finger in a light socket impression now.

"I'm glad to see you smile," he said. "I was worried I was going to have to kill your mom."

"Don't tempt me!" I joked as I rested my head on his shoulder. "You just always make me smile."

"I'm glad. But while I don't want to make you think about unpleasant shit, what are we going to do about your mom? The Siberia offer stands, though."

I sighed. "I'm going to avoid her for a while. She promised Angie Morelli that I would drop the charges and she's going to be pissed as hell at me for making her go back on her promise and look bad in the 'Burg, so I'm just going to avoid her for a couple of weeks at least. Maybe then she'll have calmed down."

"You really think that'll work?" he asked skeptically.

I shrugged. "Worked after I left Dickie. I just avoided her for a couple of months until she'd had time to iron her way through most of the fabric on the Eastern seaboard. So I'm hoping it works as well the second time as the first."

"But you live in the same town now," Les pointed out.

"But we don't exactly move in the same circles. I don't hang out at the grocery store all that much, and she doesn't spend much time at the police department. So hopefully we can avoid each other until we've both calmed down. 'Cause frankly I'd like to shoot her right now."

He nodded slowly. "Okay. But you'll let me know if I need to ship her somewhere?"

I smiled slightly. "Keep a shipping crate on standby."

"Will do."

I stayed in his lap until his watch chirped and he groaned. "I'm sorry, Beautiful, but I have to go relieve Hal and Woody on a stake out," he said softly against my hair. "I hate leaving you when you're upset."

I patted his chest. "Don't worry, it's my mom. I'm sure you'll have plenty more chances to console me when she's upset me."

His arms tightened around me. "Not helping."

"Sorry. But it's true."

"Still. Not helping unless she has a burning desire to learn Russian."

"Probably not. But hey, she's Hungarian, so maybe you could ship her to Hungary?" I said to try to lighten the mood.

"Yeah. Hungary could probably work," he pretended to consider. "It's the right geography, far, far away from us."

With one more kiss, I crawled off his lap so he could leave. "You coming over tonight?" I asked once he stood.

"Absolutely," he said. "I'll call you once I'm off to see if you want me to bring home some dinner or whatever, okay?"

At my nod, he kissed me again and headed towards the door. "Love you, baby. See you tonight." Then he reset the alarm and I heard him lock the door from the other side.

I probably should go chase some skips, but I didn't feel like dealing with all the gossip or the stares. Even Connie and Lula would probably be demanding answers and I just didn't feel up to dealing with them just yet.

So I called Mary Lou and told her about Joe, leaving out the mostly naked Les part when Joe had broken in the first time. Mare thought Les was about the hottest guy she'd ever seen, and she's probably pass out if she thought about him in only his boxers. Hell, that though made _me_ want to pass out and I'd see it up close and personal!

"Damn, Steph! I hate to say it, but your mom's a raving bitch!" Mare said after a moment of stunned silence.

I agreed. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Jeez, what a lunatic! What kind of mother takes the side of a freaking sociopath like Joe Morelli over her own daughter? Freak," Mare complained.

I had to grin. At least Mary Lou still loved me.

We chatted for a while before Mare had to get snacks organized before her kids got home from school. "You call anytime you need me, hon," she ordered. "Day or night. Or if you need me to kick your mom's butt."

Get in line. "Will do. Thanks, Mare."

"Bye, hon. Good luck!" she said before she hung up. I knew she'd get the real story out in circulation in the 'Burg gossip. As much as I hated having people gossip about my life, I hated it more when it was twisted lies about my life. At least this time, the truth would paint Morelli as the bad guy.

I watched Ghostbusters and waited for Les to call. He called a little after seven to let me know he was on his way, and he said he'd stop by the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner.

Turns out he's a pretty good cook. As far as I'm concerned, that just elevated him to perfect man status in my eyes.

"And just think, baby, all this could be yours. Just say the word," he said with twinkling eyes and an outrageous grin as I stared at him in shock.

I rolled my eyes. "Learn to bake a pineapple upside down cake and you got a deal, Cassanova," I told him.

I backed me against the counter and lifted me so I was sitting on it. "How about I just make you forget all about cake?" he murmured instead.

I leaned back to grin at him. "Impossible!" I declared.

He kissed me and I forgot my own name. "Still want cake?" he asked a few minutes later.

"Huh?"

He chuckled slightly, but his eyes were a dark emerald green and I noticed that he was walking with a slight limp. Since he was moving normally when he'd gotten there, it was a recently acquired characteristic.

He let out a long breath while he stirred the pot of food. It was just a frozen meal kit, but it was more complicated than I usually tackled by myself. I was easily distracted, and I had let those meal kits burn several times before I finally gave up on them.

I set the table while he finished the chicken and pasta meal for two. He'd dumped an extra bag of frozen broccoli and a bag of shredded carrots in it, but he'd promised that it would taste just as good despite the additional veggies. I'd reserve judgment, but he hadn't lied to me so far, so I'd trust him. For now.

We had a nice dinner and I told Les about my conversation with Mary Lou. He was very appreciative of her support and vowed to send her flowers. I convinced him this would be a bad idea if we wanted to keep things on the down low since Lenny would be very upset that some man sent Mary Lou flowers, and Mare would probably swoon at the thought of Les sending her flowers, which would in turn make Lenny even more upset.

Les just laughed at my explanation.

"So your best friend thinks I'm hot, but I can't convince you of my hotness?" he asked with a smoldering look.

I rolled my eyes at him. "You know I think you're hot!"

He just grinned at me. "So you say."

Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to show him what I thought about his hotness, since he got a call from the control room to help with a high dollar take down. He gave me a quick but insanely hot kiss and hightailed it out of the apartment.

_**Author's note: **__Sorry that I wasn't able to post yesterday. It's just a crazy busy time! Next week should be much calmer, so just please bare with me through this week of finals and then graduation this weekend. _

_I'm not a big Mrs. Plum fan for the most part. I've read a few fan fics where she's tolerable, but other than running over the rabbit, she typically annoys the heck out of me. So I haven't been all that kind to her in this story, and she won't be rehabilitated anytime soon, FYI. So if you love Helen Plum, you have been warned._

_So what do you think? Does knowing that Ella's his aunt tip the scales in Les's favor? Should Helen start brushing up on her Hungarian? Please review!_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14**_

I woke up briefly when Les crawled into bed a little after midnight. "It go okay?" I murmured as I snuggled against his warm body.

"Yeah, baby. Everything's okay. Go back to sleep," he whispered.

So I did.

I woke up when his cell phone beeped and he cursed softly at it. Guess I'm not the only anti-morning person. I opened my eyes and watched him slide silently out of bed and stretch.

"Morning," I said softly and then smiled when he jumped.

"Morning, Beautiful," he said with a smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay," I said as I stretched and then looked at the clock. It wasn't even quite 6 am yet.

"Why are you up so early?" I asked as I looked back at him.

He shrugged. "Work."

"But you had to work last night. Don't you get to go in late or something because of that?" I asked, starting to get irked on his behalf.

"Nope. I'm on core team, so I just do what needs to be done. It's why I make the big bucks, baby," he said with a tired grin. "Welcome to the world of high stakes security."

"Did you get enough sleep?"

"I'll manage. And it's Tank's turn to be on call tonight, so I shouldn't be called out tonight unless it's a really big problem or something. But I need to grab a shower and get ready, okay? You go back to sleep, no need for you to be awake at this unholy hour of the morning," he said as he leaned down to kiss me gently.

I was feeling a bit frisky for some reason so I yanked him back into the bed and gave him the hottest kiss I could muster at oh-dark-thirty in the morning. When he finally pulled back, breathing heavily, I gave him a lazy smile and snuggled into the blankets. "Have a good day," I told him.

"What was that?" he asked breathlessly.

"Good morning kiss?" I said innocently.

He swore all the way to the bathroom and I giggled as I fell back asleep, dreaming of the things we could do if only he didn't have to go to work right now.

I woke up at a more civilized time of the day a few hours later. I found a note taped to the bathroom mirror.

_You're an evil, evil woman. I love it. But remember that paybacks are a bitch, and I'm going to have all day to think about how to get you back for that, Beautiful. I doubt I'll be able to think about anything else!_

_Be afraid, be very afraid._

_Being naked when I get home might help mitigate your punishment._

_Love you,_

_Les_

I got a rush just thinking about how he might punish me.

I was sitting on a stakeout outside a skip's house when my cell rang. Les.

"Come up with a good punishment yet?" I purred into the phone.

"I think the fucking universe is trying to fucking punish me for all my past sins," he growled in response.

I sat up straighter. "What's wrong?"

Another growl. "Tank sprained his damn ankle while going on his fucking run this morning."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too!"

"But I don't understand why you're so pissed. Tank being pissed yeah, sprained ankles hurt, but why's it got you so hot and bothered?"

"Because you got me all hot and bothered this morning and I've been fantasizing about how I was going to get you back for that all day. But with Tank out of action for at least ten days, it means I'm going to be pulling doubles since he can't handle alarm calls or the higher dollar or more dangerous skip collars."

Oh. That did suck. I'd been looking forward to how he was going to get me back too.

"What about Bobby? Can't he help?"

"Some. But he's the medic, so there are limits as to how many hours he can work and still be able to do medic duty if one of us gets banged up. So with Ranger off God knows where, Tank on office duty until his ankle heals and Bobby limited in how much he can do, most of the extra field work and on call bullshit's going to be on me," Les said. Poor guy sounded positively miserable.

"It'll be okay. You said he'd only be out ten days, right?"

"Ten to fourteen days, according to Bobby. Tripped over a fucking crack in the sidewalk."

"Hey, I do that all the time! At least I'm not the only one!" I tried to joke.

"Yeah, we've all tripped before, that's no biggie. But he had to do it today? I haven't had any fucking blood flow to my brain since this morning and I'm going to have to pull his on call duty tonight because he fucking sprained his ankle? Today? Seriously?"

I swear I think he whimpered the last bit.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Or crying.

"Good things come to those who wait," I tried.

The string of Spanish curse words convinced me that he didn't really buy that one any more than I did.

"Okay. Nothing we can do about it. Do you definitely have to work tonight or just maybe have to work tonight?" I said hopefully.

He sighed. "Ninety percent sure I will. We got a tip that a high dollar skip is supposed to show up at a bar with some buddies sometime tonight. Since he's high dollar, one of the core team needs to be there to oversee picking him up. It would be Tank since he's on call tonight, but it'll be me since Tank won't be in any shape to help if things go to hell in a hand basket. I'm sorry, Beautiful."

"Hey, it's okay. I understand. I knew what kind of job you had. Hell, I have the same job! So don't worry about it. We'll figure something out, okay?"

He sighed again. He must be really bummed out. "But I had such plans!"

"You can tell me all about them later," I promised.

His voice dropped to a husky growl that instantly soaked my panties. "Can I show them to you later?"

"I'll think about it," I squeaked.

"Think hard," Les said. "Shit, the things you do to me with just a kiss!"

"Imagine if I'd really been trying," I said.

He groaned. "Stop it," he ordered. "I can't think about that or I'm going to do permanent damage to myself!"

I smiled. "Sorry."

"You really are evil, you know that?" he said.

"Yeah, I know. But it's fun."

"Baby, soon as I'm not on fucking call, I'll show you fun," he said, his voice going husky again.

Hoo, boy. I'd better start eating my Wheaties.

His soft sigh broke my concentration. "Problem is that since I'm the only one who can respond to emergencies, I'm going to have to stay on site for a little while, baby. So I'll have to stay in my apartment on four. Shit like this is the only reason I've kept it."

"Will I be able to see you any?" I finally asked.

"Hell yeah!" he replied. "No way I won't see you, Beautiful. But it'll probably be things like going out to lunch or dinner close by. And we can still talk on the phone and stuff. But I'll need to stay in or very close to the building when I'm on duty or on call."

I blew out a sigh. "How about I meet you for lunch or dinner or whatever you can do?" I finally said.

"That sounds good," he said. "The guys can handle the normal day to day shit, so I can meet you for lunch at Shorty's whenever you want."

"I'm staking out a skip, but I'm getting hungry and I have to pee like you wouldn't believe, so anytime soon is good for me. So maybe in half an hour?"

"See you there, Beautiful."

I felt the urge to beat the heck out of someone, but unfortunately my skip didn't stick his head out of his house and I didn't feel like breaking in. So I settled for shooting a glare at the house before heading out to meeting Les at Shorty's.

I got there just before he did and saw him in the parking lot. "Hey, Beautiful," Les said as he saw me walking towards the front door.

Then he pulled me around to the side of the building, wrapped both arms around me and kissed me until I was sure my clothes had spontaneously combusted from the heat he generated in my nether regions.

"W-wow," I stuttered when he finally let me up for air several minutes later. "What was that?"

"Hello kiss?" he said in a mock-innocent tone, throwing my words from earlier this morning back at me.

I stuck my tongue out at him and he tucked a curl behind my ear. It had come loose from my ponytail when he'd held my head in place to he could attack me with his luscious lips.

He offered me his arm and I took it, not entirely certain how steady my legs were after that.

I went to the bathroom while he found us a table in the back where he could have his back to the wall, of course. It took me a minute and a couple of splashes of cold water to get my cheeks to cool down from where they'd gotten all flushed from Les's amorous assault.

I started to slide into the booth across from Les, but he stood and had me slide in next to him before he sat back down on the outside. "I want to be able to touch you," he said with a wink.

"You touch me much more and I might embarrass myself," I muttered.

He leaned in close to my ear. "Now you know my pain."

I rested my head on his should for a minute. "This sucks."

"No shit."

We were quiet while the waitress brought our drinks. Water for the man in black, Diet Coke for unhealthy me.

"So what do you want to do?" I finally asked.

"Other than you?" Les teased.

I rolled my eyes at him. "You know what I mean."

He sighed. "Nothing much I can do, baby. I'm going to be pulling a lot of doubles and I'll be on call just about all the time until Tank's ankle is better. Bobby can do some of the on call shit, but not all of it since he's pretty much on call all the time for medic stuff and he can't be on call for take down and alarm stuff too. We've had to do this before when one of us has been hurt, but the timing just sucks."

"What can I do to help?" I asked.

"You're doing it. Understanding that sometimes things come up. Maybe go by the house every couple of days and checking on things. I'll swing by when I can too, but it can't hurt to have both of us go by," he said.

"Okay. I can do that. Anything else?" I asked.

"Fix Tank's fucking ankle so I can finally have a night alone with you!" he growled, his eyes dark and glittering dangerously.

Gulp.

"Would that I could," I murmured. Truer words were never spoken.

He groaned and gave me a quick, hard kiss. "You're killing me here!"

"Sorry," I replied, smiling weakly. He just rested his forehead against mine for a minute.

"Soon," he muttered.

I didn't have to ask what he meant. I had a pretty damn good idea what he was referring to, and it wasn't the delivery time for our pizza.

When he finally sat back, I looked up to see the waitress watching us with fascination coloring her brown eyes.

We had a leisurely lunch spent just chatting and joking. And lots of little touches, mostly hidden by the table, which had me almost ready to drag him under the table and say screw the consequences.

Mmm, screwing Les.

Wait. What?

He finally had to head back to the office, but not before he pulled back to the side of the building and turned my bones back into silly putty. I had a death grip on his on his shirt and one leg hooked around his hip when he finally pulled his lips back from that spot on my neck he loved.

Damn. He needed some time off. Soon.

His voice was an entire octave lower than usual when he mustered the ability to speak a moment later. "Damn, baby. You don't know how much I want to call and tell them I quit so I could take you home right now."

I moaned softly and he jerked his hips against mine. "Shit, don't make those noises when I can't do anything to earn them!"

"Pretty sure you earned them," I replied. Holy shit, was that my voice? I sounded like Mae West!

"Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet," he promised as his voice dropped even lower. If his voice went any lower, I'd have to rename him Barry White. Damned if I didn't want to get it on, though.

But if he thought he hadn't shown me anything yet, I was pretty sure he was going to kill me when we finally were together. But I'd die a very happy woman, I was sure.

I think I whimpered a little bit at that thought and his hips ground against mine again. "Beautiful, I'm serious," he said in a dangerous tone. "Stop making those noises or I'm not going to be responsible for what happens."

I sucked in a deep breath, released the death grip on his shirt and tried to smooth out the wrinkles. "Then you better leave or I won't be responsible for what happens."

He started cursing in Spanish but he took a half step back. "You're going to kill me."

Ditto.

Les walked me back to my car, kissed me with far less tongue than moments ago and told me he'd call me tonight before he jumped in the black SUV to head back to Haywood.

My shower massager wasn't going to survive ten days and nights like this.

Sadly, the shower massager had its work cut out for it.

I managed to talk to Les pretty often and we saw each other for meals almost every day, but as he predicted, he didn't get much in the way of downtime since he was on call almost all the time. We had met up a couple of times at his house to check on the renovations. I couldn't believe how great the house was looking. Thank God all the faux wood paneling and brightly colored bathroom fixtures were gone!

But it had almost turned into to more than just a progress check a few times. If there hadn't have been construction workers crawling all over the place like ants, and if I wasn't vehemently opposed to putting on a free show, things might have gotten freaky. But it didn't.

Every time I saw him, though, he looked more and more tired, despite his best efforts to keep up a happy façade for me. He'd crash in his apartment on four anytime he wasn't needed on the control floor or out on calls, but the poor guy was insanely busy and he wasn't able to really rest except in brief snatches. It wasn't enough.

It had been a long eleven days for poor Les, and I was just glad that Bobby said that Tank's ankle should be back to normal soon.

_**Author's note: **__Steph's finally getting comfortable with the physical side of things with Les, but damn Murphy is keeping them apart! Alas, things won't change all that soon, but you'll see why in the next chapter._

_I think the theme song for this part of the story should be "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones._

_Please let me know what you think! I love reviews like Steph does donuts. _


	15. Chapter 15

_**Chapter 15**_

Phone calls at four in the morning are never a good thing. "Wha?" I muttered into the phone.

"Stephanie," came Bobby's voice. Oh fuck, this was bad, he sounded either really pissed or really worried.

"Who?" I murmured with my heart in my throat.

"Les," came the reply an instant later. "He was shot in the chest taking in a skip. Ram's on his way to pick you up, ETA five minutes."

"I'll be ready," I promised. Then Bobby was gone.

I leaped out of bed and jerked on clothes. I didn't care what I was wearing, I only cared about getting to Les as soon as possible. I'd have been insanely worried about any of my Merry Men, and they were still my guys despite Ranger's suggestion to the contrary, but knowing it was Les made my heart stop a few times.

I was in front of the building waiting very impatiently when Ram pulled up. I jumped in the SUV and Ram was pulling away before I even got the door closed.

"How bad is it?" I asked, begging for any information.

Ram looked at me for a half-second. "I haven't heard much yet, Bomber."

That was when I started making deals with God.

We pulled up to the ER ten tense minutes later. Ram just pulled to the front and I jumped out before the SUV had even stopped completely. I crashed through the door and skidded to a stop as I saw the crowd of black-clad men.

"How is he?" I demanded.

Tank shook his head. "In surgery. We don't know anything yet."

Bobby came up to me and wrapped me in his arms. "He'll be okay, Bomber. He has to be!"

From Bobby's lips to God's ear.

It was a long night, but I kept vigil with the Merry Men. Per protocol, Lester's family wouldn't be informed until we knew one way or the other how he was doing. The guys had decided as a whole that it was better to spare their families the agony of what we were doing now, sitting in the hard chairs in the cold waiting room, awaiting word of whether our friend was with us or not.

Finally, after thirteen years, a doctor finally came out. "Family of Lester Santos?"

We rushed her. I have to give the doc credit, she didn't pass out when she saw a stampede of giants in unrelenting black rushing her way. "You're all his family?" she asked in a bewildered tone, taking in the assortment of skin tones of the guys in front of her.

"This is his wife," Tank said as he gestured towards me. How the hell did he know about that? I just kept my mouth shut.

"I'm his boss. Here's his medical power of attorney form," Tank said with practiced ease as he handed over the paperwork.

The doctor turned towards me. "What's his nickname for you?" she asked me.

I just blinked at her in confusion. "Beautiful," Tank said. "He calls her beautiful."

The doctor just smiled. "He's asking for you."

My knees nearly collapsed in relief. Bobby held me up on one side while Cal had the other. "He's awake?" I stuttered.

"Not quite. He's not fully conscious, but he'd not completely unconscious either. We've got him pumped full of enough drugs to take down an elephant but he's still calling for you."

I felt Bobby nod beside me. "He has an incredible tolerance for meds. It's crazy, really. He's also one of the most obstinate men I've ever met and he probably won't let himself go under until he knows Steph's okay if he's asking for her."

Bobby explained who he was and how he knew about Lester's drug tolerance as the doctor led me and Bobby to his room. I was still shell-shocked but relieved that Lester was okay.

As we walked in the room, I could see Les was mumbling and thrashing around on the bed despite the two male orderlies trying to hold him down. Even with him injured, recovering from surgery and drugged out of his mind, the two guys were still having a hell of a hard time keeping him on the bed.

I reacted on instinct, rushing to his side and grabbing his hand from one of the orderlies. "Les!"

His beautiful green eyes popped open for a second before they went fuzzy and slid closed. "Beautiful?"

"I'm here, Les."

"Good," he slurred with a half smile before settling down some.

"You have to get some rest now, Les," I told him as tears streamed down my face. "Go to sleep."

I didn't get a response but he stopped fighting the orderlies and his breathing slowed. The doctor looked at the heart monitor above the bed and shook her head.

"I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it," she said in wonder. "He's had enough drugs for a man three times his size, but you telling him to go to sleep is what made him finally go under."

I just clutched his hand with every ounce of strength in me, desperately willing some of that strength into Lester's body.

"Will he be okay?" I asked the doctor.

"He'll be fine," the doctor reassured me again. "He'll be sore and he'd looking at a fairly long recovery, but he's young and healthy and in great shape. So barring any unforeseen complications, he'll be just fine, Mrs. Santos."

"So what happened?" I asked once I got my breathing under control, both from relief and from the Mrs. Santos thing.

"Skip got off a lucky shot as Santos was tackling him," Bobby said.

The doctor took up the story. "Looks like it hit his shoulder and traveled across his chest to lodge in his rib cage. So we had to go in and pull out the bullet and put his shattered collarbone back together again."

Bobby turned to the doctor, so I did too. "It broke his collar bone pretty badly and he had a lot of soft tissue damage. But it missed his heart, lungs and major blood vessels. He'll be sore and it will take physical therapy to get full function back in his shoulder, but he should be fine, Mrs. Santos," the doctor reassured me. "He's resting easier now that he knows you're okay, and that's the absolute best thing for him right now. You can see him again in a few hours once he's rested."

I looked the doctor square in the eye and dared her to refuse. "I'm not leaving him." She didn't argue. Bobby stepped out to explain the RangeMan facts of life to her.

Lester stayed quiet for a few hours as Bobby and I sat with him. After a few hours, though, he started getting restless, mumbling incoherently and started to thrash around. He'd moan and frown each time he moved and I knew he was in pain from his wound and surgery. He'd still for a minute and then start moving again, trying to get out of the bed.

"We have to do something!" I told Bobby.

Bobby brushed his hand over his face. He looked like he was about to be sick. "God, you don't know how much I wish we could! But he's already had way more drugs than any other man could tolerate and we can't risk giving him anything else right now."

"But he's in pain!"

Bobby swallowed twice and I had to remind myself that he was Lester's best friend and it was probably killing him to see Les in pain and be unable to do anything about it. "I know," he finally said softly. "But anything else right now could stop him from breathing."

We both stared silently as Les continued to moan and move around in the bed.

"Screw this!" I exclaimed as I stood abruptly. Bobby jumped at my sudden words and movement.

I lowered the rail of the bed, having had extensive previous experience in a hospital bed, kicked off my sneakers and climbed into bed with Lester. I wrapped my arms around him and started stroking his hair as I whispered nonsense words into his ear.

His eyes popped open for a second. "Steph?" he murmured.

"Yeah, Les, it's me. Just go back to sleep. Please."

He blinked drunkenly at me for a second or two. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. You're the one who's hurt. So please, Les, please just rest. Okay?"

I felt Bobby move around behind me, and then Lester's eyes shifted from me to over my shoulder.

"I'll take care of her, man," Bobby promised.

Les's bloodshot green eyes shot back to me and then he smiled sweetly at me. "Okay."

His eyes closed slowly and he seemed to fall asleep. He still mumbled a little in his sleep occasionally, but I'd just rub my hand through his hair or squeeze him tightly and he'd calm back down.

After a few minutes, I could hear Bobby opening doors. He was back in a minute with a pillow that he tucked under my head and a blanket that he draped across me.

"I think you're the best medicine we could give him, Bomber," Bobby told me. "I've never seem him calm down like this before."

Bobby finally just shook his head and sat back down in his uncomfortable vinyl chair. Anytime Les would start to talk or move, I'd start rubbing his hair. I swear, the man was part cat judging by the almost purring-like sounds coming from his chest.

A good-looking nurse walked in with a big smile on her face an hour later. I was still curled around Lester, rubbing his hair nearly continuously now that he was coming further and further out of the anesthesia and his pain was increasing.

"What the hell are you doing there?" nurse loudmouth demanded. "You can't be in here!"

Bobby stood up to his impressive six-foot-plus height. "I'm his primary care provider. We have permission from his doctor to be here," Bobby growled.

The nurse just gaped at Bobby for a minute before turning back to glare venomously at me. "Well, who the hell is she? His flavor of the week?" she hissed.

I figured this was one of the girls Lester had dated at some point, and that she hadn't really agreed when he'd stopped seeing her. I couldn't figure out why she'd hate me so much without knowing me otherwise. Usually people had to get to know me before they hated me.

"His wife," Bobby said in a low and threatening voice. "And she has permission to be here too."

I would have been amused by the fish face on nurse pissy's face, but Lester was moaning in pain and that was way more important than watching Bobby take her down a peg or two.

"His… his… what?" she shrieked shrilly. And loudly.

Lester's eyes popped open and he tried to roll so that he was covering me with his body. He just gritted his teeth when his left arm wouldn't work and started using his right arm to drag me closer to him. Even drugged out his mind, he was trying to protect me.

"Les!" I said loudly. "It's fine! Stop moving, it's fine!"

"Beautiful?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's me."

"What's going on?"

"You got shot. You're in the hospital."

He shook his head and then grimaced in pain. "Heard yelling. Have to get you safe," he said. "Can't let you get hurt too."

He was panting by the end, trying to fight through what I knew had to be intense pain.

I put both my hands to his cheeks and made him look at me. "Les, I'm fine. See? I'm fine. But you're hurt and you need to stop moving."

His brow wrinkled. "I'm hurt?"

"Yeah. A skip shot you. But you'll be fine, surgery went well. You just need to stop moving and get some rest."

Bobby reached out and helped roll Lester back onto his back. I saw his jaw clench suddenly and I knew he was in terrible pain.

"Santos, man, it's good. You're safe. Bomber's safe. You just have to rest, man," Bobby told him in a confident yet soothing tone. I'd heard that tone from Bobby on many occasions before, it was his medic voice.

"Get her out of here," Lester said between clenched teeth. "Gimme a gun and I'll cover your six."

I started rubbing my hands through Lester's hair again. "Les, I'm fine. I promise. Everything is fine. You just need to go back to sleep."

His eyes popped back open and focused on mine. "Beautiful? You're okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." That was a lie. My heart was about to be ripped out of my chest at the concern I saw in his eyes, but I'd lie about anything to help Lester to feel better right now.

He stared at me for a long time before he used his uninjured arm to pull me closer against him and then closed his eyes.

When I looked back at the nurse, her jaw was hanging open. The doctor was behind her, evidently she'd heard all the shouting and had come to check it out.

"I still can't believe how you're able to calm him down like that. You must have one hell of a connection," the doctor said as she walked in and started checking Lester's vitals. "What was all the shouting?"

I looked at Bobby, who was back to looking scarily pissed. "Your nurse started yelling at us to get out without letting us explain that we were authorized to be here. She woke him up with her shrieks and you saw how he reacted to try to protect Stephanie. He's a highly decorated Special Forces soldier and he reacted instinctively to the hostility despite being drugged and injured. Your nurse also insulted his wife. I want a new nurse assigned to his care immediately."

The formerly jovial doctor turned back to glare at the nurse. "Is this true? And you weren't assigned to Mr. Santos, what are you doing in here?" she demanded.

Nurse Loudmouth's mouth was opening and closing while her eyes were shooting daggers at me.

"He was a bit of a playboy before we got together," I said. "So I'm guessing that he went out with her and she wasn't thrilled when he stopped calling."

I could tell I'd hit the nail on the head when she gaped at me.

"Out!" the doctor demanded. "And I will be having a talk with your supervisor!"

She shot me a look of pure malice before scuttling out.

The doctor turned back to me. "I'm very sorry about that. I'll make sure that this doesn't happen again," she said.

Then she walked over to Lester, who was mumbling in his sleep again, and started checking him over. I started to climb out of the bed but she stopped me. "Stay if you're comfortable there."

I just nodded and put my head back down on Lester's uninjured arm, which was serving as my pillow.

After a few minutes, the doctor turned to Bobby. "He was semi-conscious even on the heavy duty drugs. Do you have any other suggestions for treatment going forward?"

Bobby simply shrugged. "He's tough. All we can do is keep him as comfortable as we can manage with the mild stuff and let Steph stay with him. She seems to calm him down. He won't take any more drugs, no matter how bad it gets. Just Advil. So we've just got to keep him relaxed enough to not tear out his stitches for the moment," Bobby continued.

I looked at Bobby. "Hell no! He's in pain and he needs painkillers," I said implacably.

"Bomber, sorry, but I know him and I know he won't take anything else."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm persuasive."

Bobby grinned. "No one is that persuasive."

"Hello, have you met me? I may be a screw up some of the time, but I always get my man and I promise you that I will make Les take his medicine, whether he likes it or not."

The doctor just grinned at me.

"Five bucks says you can't," Bobby challenged.

"Make it a hundred," I told him confidently.

Bobby's eyebrows shot up his forehead and he started to look curious. "Deal."

I turned to the doctor. "Go ahead and write the orders for drugs and give us a couple of minutes alone."

She grinned at me and walked out.

Bobby hesitated. "I should stay, Bomber. He might wake up confused again."

"I've got it covered, Bobby."

"Bomber, I think…"

"Get. Out."

He sighed but walked out mumbling under his breath about suicidal women.

_**Author's note: **__First off, no worries, Les will be fine! He won't be a happy camper for a while, but I love him too much to do anything terrible to him, I promise! The drama and angst comes from his long recovery and how they'll manage._

_So what do you think happens when Steph wakes up Les to try to convince him to rescind his rule about no heavy duty drugs? And how's everyone going to react to Steph "playing" Mrs. Santos to be in the hospital room with Les?_

_And to all the parents and people who've served as surrogate parents and who love and support their kids and to the kids who love and appreciate (or loved and appreciated) their parents: Happy Mother's Day!_

_Please review, they are my sunshine, my only sunshine, they make me happy when skies are gray. _


	16. Chapter 16

_**Chapter 16**_

I stroked Lester's cheek. "Les? Wake up. Please."

I kept talking to him and stroking his cheeks until he opened his eyes after a few very long minutes. "Beautiful?"

"Yeah, Les, it's me."

He blinked at me in confusion for a minute. "What?" he started and then cleared his throat as he looked around the room. "What's going on?"

"You got shot taking in a skip last night. But you're going to be fine."

I could see the wheels turning slowly in his brain as he turned his head to view his left arm stretched out in the immobilizing splint. "Guess that's why I can't move my arm."

"Yeah."

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing too awful. You got shot in the shoulder and it did a number on your collar bone and ribs. You'll need some physical therapy on your shoulder but you'll be good otherwise." I'd let Bobby explain the specifics later.

He started at me for a moment. "Okay."

"But apparently you've told Bobby to not let them give you drugs. So I need to convince you to take the damn drugs so you'll get better faster."

"Beautiful, the drugs don't work too much for me. They just make me a little nuts."

I smiled at his honesty. "No shit! I've been rubbing your hair for the last few hours to keep you calm before you ripped all of your stitches out. But you're hurt and you need to rest, so you need to take the drugs. Even a few hours of sleep will help."

He shifted slightly on the bed and winced, not answering. So I brought out the big guns. "Please, Les? I can't stand seeing you in pain. You're breaking my heart here. So please, pretty please, take the drugs?"

He just started at me for the longest time, his green eyes clouded with pain and confusion.

"I was so scared," I finally whispered to break the silence.

"I'm sorry."

"I know. But waiting for the doctor to come out, oh God, but that was the most scared I think I've ever been! I can't lose you, Les, I just can't," I told him as I tried to keep the tears from escaping by pressing my face to his uninjured shoulder.

He pulled me to him with his good arm. "Oh baby, I'm sorry I worried you."

I lifted my head off his arm once I got myself under control. "You didn't just worry me, Lester Santos, you scared the living shit out of me."

"I'm sorry."

"I can't stand seeing you in pain. So please, let them give you something. I'll stay right here with you to keep you calm but I know you can't get any rest hurting like this."

"I might go crazy on the drugs," he warned after only a few seconds. His reaction time was improving slightly.

"I'm an expert on crazy. I can deal."

He started to laugh but that changed to a groan of pain as he grimaced.

"Please?" I asked again.

He finally nodded. I leaned over to kiss his lips gently. His eyes popped open and he stared at me. "Thank you," I told him.

"If I'd known getting shot was the way to get you kissing me, I'd have done it a long time ago!" He tried to grin at me but I could tell it wasn't the full-on Lester grin. He still felt like shit but he was trying to make me smile.

I smiled at his retort. "You do this again and I'll shoot you myself. Only I get to pick where to shoot you and it won't be in a fun place, Santos."

I brushed another kiss over his lips, and felt some of the worry lift as he kissed me back. I pulled back and smiled at Les for a few seconds.

"Bobby!" I yelled.

Bobby opened the door instantly. "You okay, Bomber?"

"I'm fine. He agreed to the drugs."

Bobby walked in and looked at Les lying motionless on the bed. "Santos?" he asked softly.

"Give me the drugs," Les said with a sigh. "Just keep her safe from me if I lose it."

The look of shock on Bobby's face was hilarious, so I giggled. Les's eyes popped open. "What?" he asked.

"Bobby bet me you wouldn't agree. I bet him I could convince you. So now he owes me," I explained.

"What the hell, man?" Bobby asked. "I've tried to get you to take the damn drugs a million time before and you always refused."

Lester shifted his gaze to Bobby for a second before closing his eyes again. "She's cuter."

I grinned at a stunned Bobby. "Told ya."

Bobby shook his head and headed out the door again, presumable to tell the doctor to give Les the happy drugs. Bobby and the doctor were back and asking questions within seconds. I simply sat still until they both left Les and me alone again, the door closing with a quiet click behind them.

"Steph?" Les whispered, his voice rough with pain from being poked and prodded.

"Yeah, Les?" I whispered as I started running my hands through his hair again.

"Thanks for staying with me."

"No where else I'd rather be," I assured him.

He had a slight smile on his lips and I couldn't resist leaning forward to kiss his again, relieved beyond words that I had the opportunity.

His eyes popped open and he smiled a bit bigger. "I like nurse Stephanie," he told me with a slight grin.

I smiled at him and brushed my hand over his eyes, closing them. "You just get your rest. I'll stay right here with you, I promise."

I paused for a minute. "Well, I'll have to let Bobby cuddle up to you for a minute or two, but then I'll be back."

Lester's eyes popped open and he looked at me in horror. "I'm not cuddling with Bobby!"

I grinned at him. "Then he can hold your hand while I use the bathroom. But then I'll be back."

He relaxed back against the bed as his eyes closed again. "You're an evil woman."

"You know you love me!" popped out without making it through my brain first.

His smile became tender. "Yeah, I do love you, baby."

Okay, Stephanie, time to man up. Woman up. Whatever, be a grown up and admit how you feel.

"Les?" I called softly.

"Yeah, Beautiful?" he said with his eyes still closed.

"I love you, too."

That got his eyes open. And quick. They zeroed in on mine in a heartbeat. "What?" he said with a hitch in his voice that I didn't think was just from pain.

I smiled at him and tried to keep my eyes on his despite how scared I was of admitting it out loud. It was easier when he wasn't looking at me.

I blushed and looked at his chin.

His right hand came up to tip my chin up so I had to look at him. "Stephanie, please," he begged. "Don't say it if you don't really mean it."

I sucked in a deep breath and looked back up into his hopeful green eyes. Time for the big girl panties. "I mean it. You don't know how terrified I was while waiting to hear if you were okay or not. We didn't know anything other than you were shot in the chest and I…" I had to take a breath to regain my composure. "And all I could think about was that I couldn't lose you, that you were too important… how much I love you."

His whole face lit up and I had to smile at the joy on his face.

"Say it again!" he demanded.

I took a deep breath and admitted what I'd been feeling for weeks if not longer, but had finally admitted to myself once I'd gotten the horrible 4 am phone call a dozen hours ago. "I love you, Lester Santos!"

He pulled me down against his chest and kissed me with such passion that it took my breath away. "I love you too, Stephanie Plum," he whispered against my lips before ravaging them again.

I moaned as his tongue traced my lips as his uninjured hand held the back of my head. He took advantage of the slight movement of my lips to thrust his tongue inside. I stroked his tongue with mine and then he groaned.

I sat up immediately. "Are you okay?" I asked anxiously as I searched his face for signs of pain, worried that I had hurt him.

I only saw love with a bit of lust on his face. "Fine. Now get back down here!" he said as he pulled me back to him.

I smiled as he kissed me again, more gently this time. I lay with my head on his bicep as his arm was wrapped tightly around me, my free hand wrapped around his waist as we cuddled together in the confines of the small bed.

After a couple of minutes, he spoke again. "So what do you want to happen now?" he asked softly.

I squeezed his waist. "Well, I was kind of hoping they would give you happy drugs so you could sleep."

He chuckled softly. "You know that's not what I meant. What do you want to happen with us?"

I shrugged. "I hadn't thought about that too much. I was too busy making deals with God for you to be okay. I have to go to church regularly and learn to cook now."

He smiled for a moment at my flippant reply.

"Do you want to stay married, Beautiful?" he asked in such a soft tone I barely heard him. "Be married to me? For real?"

"What do you want, Les?" I asked as my heart pounded in my ears. Well, if I was going to have a stroke from high blood pressure, I guess already being in the hospital would be the best place to have it.

"I want you. In whatever way you want me. Whether it's married or dating or whatever, I just need you in my life."

"Do you want to stay married?" I countered. "You know me, I'm a train wreck sometimes!"

He was quiet for so long that I thought he'd fallen back asleep. If he was resting, I wouldn't disturb him even though I was starting to feel kind of sick on my stomach at the idea that he wouldn't want to stay married to me. I couldn't blame him, my life really is a train wreck sometimes.

"Steph," he said, startling me enough that I jumped a little. "This is my life. I won't be out on the streets forever, but you could get this call again any time. I can promise to be careful, but this is who I am, what I do. I don't run missions anymore like Ranger does, but I like being out on the streets sometimes. Can you handle that kind of life?"

I didn't even have to think about it. "I can handle it. But can you handle my life? Getting calls that my car has blown up again or that I've got another stalker? It made Morelli nuts."

Lester turned his head and caught my eye. "Beautiful, I've been in love with you for longer than I can remember, hell, almost since I met you I think, and I handled you being in danger without losing my mind too much. I can handle it if you can."

He was quiet for a minute. "And knowing we'd be together when we got home every day would make it a lot easier, I think," he added.

Got me there. The thought of coming home to Lester every day made me feel all squishy. But in a good way.

"Yes," I whispered.

"Yes what, Beautiful?" he said as he stared intently into my eyes.

"Yes, I want to stay married to you."

His smile was blinding and then he was kissing me again.

After a couple of minutes that felt like hours, I had to drag my lips away from his so I could catch my breath. "So I guess you're okay with that?" I asked drily as I hovered above him and struggled to get enough air into my lungs so I wouldn't end up in my own hospital bed from a lack of oxygen.

"If I wasn't in a freaking splint, I'd show you exactly how okay I am with that!" he growled against my neck as he kissed the sensitive area just below my ear. He had an uncanny fascination with that spot. But I didn't mind. No siree.

I shuddered at the thought and I realized I'd need to change underwear. My panties were soaked.

"I am absolutely okay with that," he whispered into my ear. "I'm completely thrilled!"

I didn't hear the door open, but apparently Lester did since his head swung up. Bobby was just staring at us in total fascination while a smiling nurse walked in with a syringe. She asked Les a couple of questions to be sure he was the right patient and then injected the drugs into the IV port at his wrist.

"You should start to feel sleepy in a little while," she said with a kind smile and a soft pat on his arm. "If you need me for anything else at all, just hit the button. Otherwise, I'll check on you again in a bit."

I smiled at her. "Thanks."

"Of course, Mrs. Santos," she replied.

I noticed the huge smile that bloomed on Les's lips at that title.

"Alright, what the hell is going on with you two?" Bobby asked, his hands on his hips, and a mutinous glare on his handsome face once the nurse left. "And no more bullshit!"

I looked at Les, who just smiled at me. "He's your best friend, I think you should be the one to tell him," I told him.

Lester looked at Bobby for a second and then grinned. "We're married."

I laughed out loud when Bobby's eyes bugged out like a cartoon character. "What?" he screeched.

That made Les laugh too, but that quickly turned to groans as the movement jarred his pieced together collarbone.

Bobby gaped at us for a minute while I rubbed Lester's head to help him deal with the pain. I was whispering in his ear about all the things I'd do to him once he was out of the hospital, and I'm pretty sure that helped to take his mind off the pain too.

"When?" Bobby finally asked.

"When we were in Las Vegas," I answered.

Bobby just stared at us. "But that was weeks ago!"

I just nodded and returned to rubbing my hands through Les's short hair. I started explaining softly. "We got pretty drunk one night in Vegas and got married by a Frank Sinatra impersonator. Fitting, don't you think, for two people from New Jersey? But it freaked me out the next morning so we agreed to try just hanging out more, dating, I guess, to see if we really wanted to be married or to get an annulment or whatever. But waiting here last night, oh God, but that was awful! It made me realize how much I love him and that I want to be with him in whatever way he wants me."

Lester picked up the story. "And I think you've suspected for a long time how I felt about her."

Bobby nodded. "You've been half in love with her for years."

"More than half, man. I've been totally, head over heels in love with her for years," Lester corrected.

Bobby stared at us for a minute. "Married! Shit, I was just getting used to the idea of you two dating."

He was quiet for a minute before asking the question that I dreaded, but I knew was coming. "But what about Ranger?"

I sighed. "We had a very complicated non-relationship. But the night before he left, he told me to move on while he was gone. So I did. Just thankfully there was a green-eyed gorgeous Merry Man there to help me do that. Les was already a great friend but it just became more than that over the last few months."

Bobby was looking thoughtful. "I love you like a sister, Bomber, but he's my brother. You sure you're really over Ranger? And Morelli?"

I looked at Bobby. "I'm sure. I loved both of them, but it's nothing at all like how I love Les."

Bobby studied me for a minute before nodding. "If this is what you both want, then I'm happy for you both."

I smiled at him and nodded. Then Les pulled me against his side and shot a crooked grin at Bobby. "Then be happy for us."

Bobby just shook his head at us and then beamed. He bounded over and pulled me into a hug, pressing a big kiss to my cheek before grinning at Lester. "I'd slap your back but I have a feeling that Bombshell would kick my ass if I hurt you!"

"Damn skippy, Brown," I told him with a smile. Bobby laughed.

"Bobby, can you sit with him for a minute while I use the bathroom?" I asked. Bobby nodded.

"You okay with me being gone for a couple of minutes?" I asked Lester.

He just smiled at me. "As long as you come back."

I kissed him gently. "Always." Then I climbed out of the bed with Bobby's assistance.

"Bomber?" Bobby called and I looked back at him. "I had Hector grab you some clothes and stuff if you want to grab a shower too."

My eyes widened. "I'd love a shower! You okay for a bit longer?" I asked Lester.

He just smiled at me, his eyes starting to look a little bit fuzzy. Guess the drugs were starting to kick in. "Yeah."

"I'll be fast!" I promised as I snagged the bag Bobby pointed out to me and headed into the tiny bathroom. I took care of my most pressing need first before jumping into the shower. Hector was a godsend and had packed all of my toiletries and hair stuff as well as a couple of changes of clothes. I pulled out a pair of comfy lounge pants and an oversized Army sweatshirt I'd stolen from Les when I'd gotten cold at his house one evening. It had his name stenciled on the bottom and it made me feel warm and fuzzy to be wearing something of his.

I came back out as soon as my hair wasn't dripping down my back anymore. I'd heard the murmur of voices while I was in the bathroom, but I'd tried to avoid listening to the words. I figured Les would tell me whatever he wanted me to know about his conversation with Bobby later. That took a hell of a lot of willpower since I'm probably the nosiest person I know, but I wanted to respect Les's right to privacy.

Les had his eyes closed but was still listening to Bobby when I walked out. I walked over to the chair and sat down, grabbing Lester's hand in my own. "You not going to lie down with me again?" Les slurred. Obviously the drugs were kicking in.

"Do you want me to?"

"Hell yes," he said drunkenly.

Bobby just grinned at me. I stood up, stretched and then lowered the rail so I could crawl back into bed. It was a dang tight fit, and I could only be grateful that I hadn't biggie sized the fast food combo I'd had for lunch yesterday or I wouldn't have fit.

Les kissed the top of my head as I curled around him. "Love you," he murmured.

"I love you, too," I told him. He smiled and then was asleep.

"I can't believe you two got married and didn't even tell me!" Bobby whined.

I looked at him over the top of Les's steadily rising chest. "I'm sorry. That was my fault. I've not exactly had good luck with relationships in the past and I freaked out to realize that we were married. Les wanted to move in together and tell everyone, but I was afraid."

"What were you afraid of?" Bobby asked.

I shrugged. "That he'd wake up one day and realize I wasn't good enough for him."

Bobby's boots hit the floor. "Bomber, why the fuck would you think you weren't good enough for any man?"

"Let's see… Dickie cheated on me before we finished sending out thank you notes for the wedding presents. Joe was always telling me what a disappointment I was and then he was with Mob Barbie while we were together. Ranger told me I was getting too attached and that his life didn't lend itself to relationships. Gee, I wonder where I could have gotten that idea?" I said sarcastically.

Bobby looked shocked at my outburst. I sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that. But basically I was scared, okay? And I didn't want to get my heart broken again. And all you guys ever seemed to talk about was his conquests and how he was such a player. I mean, you saw what happened with the nurse earlier. Look at her, she was gorgeous and clearly smart and caring and everything to be a nurse, and he still didn't stay with her for very long!"

"That's not fair, Bomber," Bobby argued. "There could have been other reasons why it didn't work out with her. The biggest being that he was already in love with you!"

I shrugged. "Maybe. But I've had really crappy luck with love, and you guys always joked about what a heartbreaker he was. And I didn't want to get my heart broken. Again. So it took me a while to accept that he really did love me."

Bobby nodded slowly. "He's always said that he'd been looking for the right girl, and that once he found her, he'd burn his little black book. I won't lie, he _was_ a player, but he's always been different around you, Bomber, even when we thought you were with Morelli or Ranger. He really does love you, he has for a long time, and I don't think he would ever do anything to jeopardize what you two have."

"I know that now. Just took me a while to get there."

"It makes more sense now," Bobby mused.

"What does?" I asked.

"The man would be frantic whenever something happened to you. He probably kept it hidden from everybody else, but I know him too well. We'd have to hit the gym for a while when we'd get back from your car blowing up or something like that. He'd always say it was because he liked you and didn't like seeing you hurt. But he was right, I suspected it was more for a long time but I didn't want to piss him off or embarrass him. We all thought you were with Ranger in some way," Bobby explained.

I shook my head no. "It was very weird and twisted but it was just friendship."

Bobby stared at me for a minute. "I'm only asking this because I don't want to see Les get hurt, and you can tell me to butt out and I will. But do you love Ranger?"

I nodded slightly and Bobby's eyes narrowed. "He was a good friend when I desperately needed a good friend and I'll always love him for that. But I don't love him like I love Les, Bobby. And I would never hurt Les. Ranger's my friend and I hope we can stay friends, but there will be no poaching or any of that shit like there was when I was quasi-dating Joe. I promise you that. I love Les, and I would never hurt him."

Bobby nodded and shot me a megawatt smile. "Do I get to throw him a belated bachelor party?"

I shot him an evil look. "Do you want to learn to function without balls?"

Bobby just grinned at me. "So that's a no?"

"That's a big hell no," I agreed. "And please keep it to yourself until we're ready to tell everyone. We didn't really want it to come out like this, you know?"

Bobby nodded as he leaned back in his chair and I snuggled down next to Les, who seemed to be sleeping peacefully. I was exhausted myself, having been unable to rest since Bobby had called with the news that Les had been shot. So I fell asleep too, despite being squished into the tiny bed with a not so tiny Lester Santos.

_**Author's note: **__And Steph finally confesses! To both Les (so maybe getting shot wasn't __all__ bad) and to Bobby. So what do you think will happen now? Will Bobby keep his mouth shut, or will Steph have to perform an unscheduled ball-removal on him?_

_I got a complaint about how I depicted nurses in the previous chapter. I'm sorry if anyone took offense at how I described one nurse, but I'll be clear: I have nothing but respect for nurses. They have an incredibly hard and often thankless job, and I admire the work that they do. But the nurse in my story didn't do anything wrong really, except react as just about any person might to finding the man that she'd gone out with and perhaps hoped to reconnect with had gotten married. Yeah, she was a little unprofessional at first, but not even Steph blames her for being a tad on the testy side. ('Cause if you found out that you'd lost your shot with Les, who wouldn't be bummed?)_

_I wasn't trying to say that all nurses are evil and bitchy, just that one woman who happened to be a nurse for the sake of this story reacted as a human being first and a professional second. For the sake of my story and this chapter, Steph needed to be able to explain to Bobby why she was so reluctant to admit to being married, and being able to point to "well, you saw what happened!" was part of how I saw this happening. But I'm sorry if anyone was offended._

_Please review! It's still monsoon season apparently here (we're under flash flood warnings), and I could use a bit of the sunshine that your reviews bring me!_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Chapter 17 **_

"Bomber?" I heard a while later.

"Hmm?" I mumbled against Les's chest.

"Doctor's coming in to check him again," Bobby whispered in my ear. "Didn't want you to wake up and freak out."

"'Kay," I mumbled as I struggled to sit up. Bobby's hands grabbed my shoulders and hauled me upright. "Thanks."

"No problem, sis," he said.

I blinked at him. "Sis?"

Bobby grinned. "Well, you're married to the guy who's like my brother, so that makes you like my sister-in-law, right?"

I grinned at him. "You sure you want to claim being related to me? Even by marriage?"

Bobby ruffled my still slightly damp curls. "Absolutely."

I yawned and looked around to see the doctor reading a chart at the foot of the bed. She came over and gently pulled down Les's hospital gown. It takes a truly hot man to make a hospital gown look good, but Les pulled it off. Damn, but I was one lucky woman!

Bobby and the doctor laughed. "I said that out loud, didn't I?" I said sheepishly.

The doctor nodded with a grin. "He does make this ugly gown look better than usual. But it's pretty common for people to talk without thinking when they're first waking up, so we'll just file that under doctor-patient confidentially, shall we?"

I grinned at her. "I like you!" I paused for a second. "But I don't remember your name, sorry."

She smiled, and I noticed that she was actually very pretty. "Rebecca Henley."

I smiled at her. "Nice to meet you, Dr. Henley." Then I turned to Bobby. "Next time I get shot or blown up or whatever, can you get her to be my doctor?"

Dr. Henley looked at me in shock. "What the hell do you do that getting shot or blown up is a regular thing?"

I grinned at her shock. "I'm a bounty hunter too."

"I'm going to have to come up with a family discount plan for you two," she muttered as she turned back to Lest and pulled down the bandages over his shoulder and chest.

I winced at the angry red incisions and mottled purple bruises stretching across his shoulder and chest. Bobby pulled me to his chest as I swayed slightly. Guess I started looking a little rough.

"Just breathe, Bomber," Bobby said.

I took in several deep breaths and then focused on the doctor again. "How's he doing?" I asked.

"As well as can be expected. A couple of the stitches are a little stretched from when he was fighting earlier, but none were torn out. No signs of infection, which was the biggest worry. He'll be sore for a while but he's doing pretty well overall. If he continues to improve, I'll let you take him home day after tomorrow as long as Mr. Brown will help to keep an eye on him."

Bobby and I both nodded.

"When he wakes up again, he'll need to eat. We can keep him hydrated with the IV, but he'll need food to start healing. He'll need lots of protein in particular since there was so much muscle damage. But you don't develop this level of muscle mass without knowing how to eat properly, so I'm assuming that won't be a problem?"

Bobby answered. "I'll make sure he's on a high protein diet until he'd healed. We usually eat a pretty high-protein, macronutrient diet anyways, so it won't be a big deal."

She nodded. At least she understood what Bobby said. I did not, but I figured Ella or Bobby would make sure he got the right kinds of food.

"Bobby!" I exclaimed.

"What?" Bobby said, his hand flying to the gun on his hip as he scanned the room for threats.

"Will he be able to go back to the house or will he need to stay at Haywood," I asked him.

Bobby let out a breath. "He'll probably want to stay at the house for the next couple of weeks. Once he starts PT, he might want to stay some days at Haywood, but that will be up to him. Doc, can you walk us through his recovery?"

"He'll be in the immobilizing splint for another day or two, then he'll be in a sling to keep him from trying to use his arm for several weeks until the bones begin to heal. The stitches can come out in ten or so days. After that, he'll probably need two or three months of physical therapy to be back to normal," Dr. Henley explained. "The orthopedist will explain more when you see him, but that's the general plan."

I turned to look at Bobby. "What do we need to do to get the house set up for him?"

"I'll get the guys on it," he promised. "We'll have it set up by the time he gets out."

"Thank you," I replied.

He kissed the top of my head. "No problem, sis."

I just rolled my eyes at having earned yet another nickname. At least this one was better than some of the others.

The doctor leaned down to examine the wound again and must have hit a particularly sore spot since Les started mumbling in his sleep. I leaned down and started petting his hair again. He almost purred and then went back to sleep.

"He's part cat," I explained seriously to the doctor, who started laughing.

"Seems that way. Should I call for a vet consult?" she asked with a big grin.

I shrugged as I rubbed my hands through Les's spiked hair. "Probably wouldn't hurt."

She examined him for a while longer and was then making notes in his chart when Bobby's cell beeped.

He checked the message. "Cal's in the waiting room with food from Ella. You want to go grab it while I get some details from the doc about his physical therapy?"

"Sure."

I climbed out of the bed and stretched before shoving my sneakers back on my feet. "Back in a few."

I was entirely too familiar with the hospital, having been there as a patient and visiting patients far too often. So it only took me a minute to find the waiting room.

"How's he doing?" Cal asked anxiously. There were a couple of other Merry Men hanging out too, and they rushed over to me as well.

I blinked. "He's fine. He was awake earlier but I talked him into taking more pain meds, so he's out again now. The doctor is with him and explaining medical stuff to Bobby. But he'll be in a sling for the next while and then he'll need a couple of months of physical therapy to get back to normal."

"You convinced Santos to take drugs?" Binkie sounded in awe. Of me. Go figure.

"Yeah."

"How?" he pressed.

"Apparently I'm cuter than Bobby."

That got all of the guys laughing. "Hell yeah," Zero said. "I'd much rather take drugs from you than Bobby."

I grinned. "Good to know."

"But he's good guys, I promise. He'll be fine. He's just really sore right now. You guys can go back to work," I told them.

"I'm off. I just wanted to check on him and make sure he's okay," Binkie answered.

I felt tears come to my eyes but I blinked them back. "You guys are the best!" I told them.

"Can we see him?" Cal asked.

"He's asleep, but I don't see why not. How about this, there's way too much food and stuff for me to carry, so I think I need you guys to be pack mules to get everything back to the room. That work for you?"

I got megawatt smiles from the guys as they grabbed the massive quantities of food and stuff that Ella had sent with Cal and followed me down the hall.

I was chatting with the guys as we headed towards his room

"Bomber!" Bobby yelled. "We need you!"

I took off at a run and flew into the room, giant boots pounding linoleum behind me.

Lester was fighting with doctor and Bobby as he tried to get out of the bed. Not again!

I flung myself into the melee, taking an elbow to the chin in the process, and crawled in next to Les. I saw Cal pin down Les's legs out of the corner of my eye as I started stroking his hair and whispering in his ear. After a few long seconds, he stopped fighting. "Steph?" he slurred slowly.

"I'm right here," I told him.

He pulled his good arm out of Bobby's grasp and wrapped it around me. "You were gone," he muttered with his eyes still closed. He was breathing heavily from exertion and pain.

"I just went to get you some food. Ella sent dinner. But I'm back now and I won't leave again, I promise," I told him, feeling like absolutely shit for having left in the first place. But we all thought he was out from the drugs still.

"'Kay," he mumbled before turning his face towards mine. I leaned down and kissed him gently.

"Go back to sleep. You can eat Ella food when you wake up again."

"Love you, Beau'ful," he slurred as his breathing deepened and slowed. He was back asleep.

I kept rubbing his hair until I was positive that he was asleep.

Then I sat up and rubbed my jaw. Bobby pulled me towards him and grabbed my face in his hands. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine," I said. The doctor came over to check me too. After they both poked and prodded at me, they pronounced me fine.

Cal, Binkie and Zero were watching us with their blank faces on.

"Based on earlier, he'll start waking up sporadically over the next hour or so," Bobby said. "As soon as he's mostly awake, we'll get some food in him and then you can give him another dose of painkillers. He slept pretty good since the last dose until now, so I think it's helping him."

Dr. Henley nodded and then looked at me. "You be careful. I don't want to be fixing your jaw next, family discount or not."

I grinned at her and then snapped off a half-assed salute. "Yes, ma'am."

She just grinned and headed towards the door. "I'll leave orders to give him more painkillers as soon as you request them," she told Bobby. "The nurses can reach me if anything happens. Otherwise, I'll see you again in the morning."

The guys had to step back to let her out. "Only this many in here for a little while, okay?" the doctor added. "He needs to rest."

As soon as the door closed, the blank faces dropped and three very fascinated guys were staring at me. "He loves you?" Cal finally asked. "And you kiss him?"

I blushed and looked down at the blankets.

"So what's up between you two?" Binkie asked.

I looked at Bobby. He shook his head. "Up to you whether to tell them or not, Bomber, not me."

I sucked in a deep breath. "We're together," I finally said. I didn't know if Les would want me to announce that we were married. We hadn't gotten that far in discussing it yet.

"About damned time!" Cal exclaimed.

"What?" I asked.

Cal shrugged and grinned at me. "As much time as you two have been spending together, we figured there was something up, even if you wouldn't admit to it. Just glad to know you two are for real."

Bobby snorted and I glared at him. He'd better keep his damn mouth shut or I'd make good on my threat to rip his balls off. He must have gotten the message since his blank face flew up.

I grinned at the other guys. "Yeah, we're for real," I reassured them.

They just stood around grinning for a minute, so I plowed ahead.

"Could you guys see about getting his house ready for him? The contractors were pretty much done expect for the clean up last time I was there, and I have a feeling you guys could convince them to get that part done fast. I don't know what kinds of things he might need while he's recovering, but you guys and Bobby might have a better idea. We got rid of all the crappy furniture except for the master bedroom, so just rent some stuff until he's up and around and we can pick out permanent stuff."

Cal nodded. "Sure, Angel, we'll get it ready and furnished for you. You moving in with him?" he asked.

I blushed. "We haven't discussed it much, but probably, at least for now."

"Do you want us to pack up your apartment and move everything over?" Zero asked.

I shook my head. "Not yet. I need to discuss that more with Les. I'll just need clothes and stuff while he's getting better. We'll figure the rest out later."

They nodded. "Well, looks like Ella sent enough food for an army, so how about everybody pulls up a chair or whatever and we have dinner together?" I offered.

"Doc only wanted the room full for a little while," Bobby reminded me.

I snorted. "I've seen you guys eat before, remember. A little while is all we'll need." I got megawatt smiles as they grabbed chairs or folded down onto the floor.

They started passing around big containers of food and piling plastic plates full of food. I got a big plate of food myself and ate leaning against Lester's side. I wasn't leaving him again unless I was about to pee on myself.

The guys were finished in a few minutes but it took me much longer since they were asking me questions about my relationship with Lester. It took a lot of misdirection and glaring to get them to stop with the personal questions.

There was still a ton of food left for Les when he woke up again and plenty for snacks for Bobby and me too. Zero and Binkie packed up the empty bowls and dirty plates and headed back to Haywood. Cal was on duty now and would stand guard outside so Bobby could get some sleep too, since he'd been playing dual roles as bodyguard and medic. He needed sleep too.

I raced quickly to the bathroom and was back before Les could start getting restless again. I curled against Lester's side, wrapped my arm around his waist and fell back asleep.

_**Author's note: **__ So now it's starting to reach the other Merry Men as well, even though Steph wasn't sure how much to admit._

_As always, please review! I'm behind on replying to reviews, and I'm very sorry, but I promise that I read them all and love every one. And I'll try to get back on track responding to your wonderful reviews!_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Chapter 18**_

I woke up a little while later when Les started to twitch in his sleep. I rubbed his hair and whispered in his ear until he fell back asleep. Bobby didn't wake up in the recliner the nurses had brought in for him.

I was only asleep for a little while again before Les started waking up again. I rubbed his hair, this time with my nails, and he woke up with a moan of enjoyment. He blinked up at me, clearly trying to make his brain work.

"Hey," I whispered.

"Hey, Beautiful," he replied in a deep and rumbly voice.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Fine," he lied.

"Tell me the truth," I ordered softly, trying not to wake up Bobby.

"Like I was hit by a truck," he replied after a minute.

"Do you think you could try to eat anything?" I asked. "Ella sent food."

He nodded slowly. "I'll try."

I reached over him and grabbed the control for the bed and very slowly raised the head of the bed so he could eat a bit easier. I could see him pale from the pain of the movement but he didn't say anything.

I pulled out my phone and texted Cal. I didn't want to yell his name and startle Bobby.

The door slid open a few seconds later as Cal walked into the room. He grabbed the cooler of food and brought it over to me, rolling the bedside table closer.

I quietly conferred with Lester and put together a plate of food. I slipped out of the bed briefly and had one of the nurses to heat up the food in the microwave as Cal stayed next to Lester while I was gone.

I was back in a couple of minutes with a steaming plate of food. I was still stuffed from earlier but the smell of Ella's creations made me want to eat again. I was pretty sure my stomach would explode if I tried it, though.

As soon as I was back in the room, Cal resumed his post, pulling the door quietly shut behind him.

I climbed back in bed next to Lester and helped him eat. He was right handed and it was his left arm immobilized in the massive splint, so he was mostly able to manage by himself. I was there to help in case he needed it though. He didn't need much assistance, mostly just help cutting things into bite sized pieces that he could stab one handed.

Once he was done, I sat the mostly empty plate on the rolling table and pushed it away. "You need anything else?" I asked.

"No."

"You ready for the next dose of painkillers now?"

"No."

"You promised you'd take them!" I reminded him.

"I will, Beautiful. Just give me a few more minutes, okay?" he said softly.

"Okay," I told him as I snuggled back against his side. "What's going on inside that pretty head of yours?" I asked quietly.

"You think my head is pretty?" he whispered back.

"Gorgeous," I confirmed. "So what's going on in it?"

He sighed. "Nothing. Just a weird dream from the drugs, I guess."

"What did you dream?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"You can tell me anything. You know that, right?" I told him.

"I know. Just don't really want to talk about it," he said.

"Okay. I won't make you. But will you answer one question for me about your dream?" I asked.

"Maybe," he hedged.

"Was it about me telling you that I love you?" I said, taking a stab in the dark at the reason for his discomfort with me.

He froze, the hand that had been drawing little designs on my hip stopping in mid circle.

"Please tell me I wasn't talking in my sleep," he pleaded softly.

"Not that I could understand," I reassured him.

"Then how…?" he trailed off.

I sat up and framed his face with my hands to make him look at me. "It wasn't a dream, Les."

I watched him as he realized that it hadn't been a dream after all. Guess that explained why he'd been so eerily quiet, for him, since he'd woken up.

His smile slowly grew. "Not a dream?" he said to double check.

"Not a dream," I confirmed.

"Even the part about staying married? Telling Bobby?" he asked.

"Yeah. And I already told Bobby he's not allowed to throw you a belated bachelor party if he wants to retain the ability to have kids in the future."

Les grinned at me and pulled me down next to him. "I love you, Beautiful," he whispered into my ear.

"I love you, too, Les," I replied into his.

His grin was adorable and I couldn't resist kissing him gently. When he tried to deepen the kiss, I pulled back. "You're hurt. No hanky panky until you're better."

He growled softly and I giggled quietly.

"So how about I go ahead and have them start getting your happy drugs ready? If it's like last time, it will take them a while and then it will be a while before it starts to affect you, so we'll have more time to talk."

He nodded reluctantly, so I pulled out my phone again and texted Cal to please tell the nurses that he was ready for his drugs when they could get it ready for him.

I got a text back in less than a half a minute. _Done_.

I texted back my thanks and cuddled next to Lester.

"The guys are going to hurry up and get your house ready for you and your poor battered arm," I told him. "Bobby and I figured you'd rather stay there than at Haywood at first, but it's wherever you'll feel most comfortable."

"Probably at the house, as long as you'll be there with me," he replied softly.

So far, it didn't seem like Bobby had woken up from our quiet conversation, judging from my quick peek in his direction. He must be really exhausted.

"If you want me there," I replied.

"I've wanted you there for years," he said. "But especially since we got back from Vegas."

"I'll stay to help while you're recovering," I told him. "Then we can figure things out later."

"Nothing for me to figure out, Beautiful," he told me. "I love you, we're married, we're staying married and I want you with me all the time. If you don't like the house, we'll find another one. Or I'll move into your apartment if you want to stay there. Wherever you are, I am," he promised.

I smiled at him and kissed him. "I like your house," I told him.

"Our house," he corrected.

"Our house, then," I agreed. "So if you want me to move in once you're feeling better, I will."

"I definitely want you to move in. I've been trying to talk you into it for months!"

I grinned at him. "Shh, don't wake up Bobby," I reminded him.

"Then maybe you need to keep my lips busy with something else then," he suggested with a wolfish smile just before he kissed me. I grinned against his lips and then kissed him back.

I pulled back after a couple of minutes of making out. "Stop it or I'll have to go change my underwear!" I whispered directly into his ear. I didn't want to take the chance that Bobby might hear that comment.

He shot me a dazzling grin. "If Bobby wasn't in the room, I could help you with that problem. And I'm not wearing anything under this damn gown, Beautiful."

Yep, there go those panties too. Good thing Hector brought extras.

"Lester Santos, you behave yourself!" I scolded him.

"Or what?" he asked.

"Or I'll wake up Bobby and tell him you're trying to misbehave!"

Lester just grinned and squeezed my waist. "That could only improve my reputation, Beautiful."

"Speaking of your reputation, I already had a fight with one of your exes this morning. So you better behave from now on or you'll regret teaching me self defense moves!"

"I promise to behave, except with you. With you, I promise to misbehave as often as possible. But what the hell happened this morning?" he asked.

"You must have gone out with one of the nurses on the floor or something, because she was really unhappy to see me in here with you. Called me your flavor of the week and then lost it when Bobby told her I was your wife. Oh yeah, Tank told everyone I was your wife so I could come back here with you. Kind of freaked me out a little bit. I thought you'd spilled the beans or something, but then I realized he was doing the same thing as when Manny got shot, so I just went with it."

Lester's eyes narrowed in anger. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. And no, I hadn't told anyone."

"I know. And it's okay, I'd be upset too if I'd gone out with you and then found out you were married that way. It's all good as long as you don't ever have any other flavors of the week!"

He nuzzled my neck. "I'll be good with Plum for the rest of my life."

I had to bite back a moan as he nibbled at my neck. Even injured and drugged up, his lips were still magical.

"Stop it," I said weakly.

"Listen to her, man," Bobby said. "Or I'm going to get a bucket of water to cool you off!"

I sat up. "Sorry, Bobby, we didn't mean to wake you up!"

"No problem. I'm going to go for a little walk while you two _talk_," he said. "Then once he's back asleep, text me and I'll come back. There are just some things that a man shouldn't hear about his friends."

With that, he pushed himself up out of the recliner and headed towards the door.

I started giggling as soon as we were alone. Lester just smirked at me and then pulled me back down against his side.

"I'm glad it wasn't a dream," he said after a moment.

"Me too. I love you," I told him, figuring he needed to hear it again to be sure.

The smile I got told me that had been a good idea. I should trust my instincts more often.

"I told the guys we were together," I told him, "they kind of figured it out once they saw me kissing you to calm you down and heard you tell me that you loved me, but I didn't mention being married. I wasn't sure if you wanted anyone other than Bobby to know yet."

"I don't care who knows! We'll put up a damn billboard if you want," he offered.

I smiled. "I thought we might want to tell our families first, once you're feeling a little bit better."

He groaned and closed his eyes.

"What?" I said, feeling a little hurt that he didn't want to tell his family about me. "You don't have to tell your family if you don't want to."

His arm tightened around my waist. "I love you, baby, and you can't even imagine how much I look forward to being really married to you. It's just that my family is almost as scary as yours, and they're going to give us hell for eloping!"

I giggled in relief. "I thought you might be embarrassed by me or something," I admitted.

He rolled slightly so he was looking at me. "I'd never be embarrassed by you."

I looked away.

"Steph, please look at me," he asked softly. I sighed and complied reluctantly.

"I love you. Do you believe me?" he asked seriously.

I nodded. "Yes."

"Then trust me that I want the whole world to know about us. I'm just not looking forward to the craziness of our friends and families. But we'll manage it together."

I shot him a skeptical look. "I think manage is a tad optimistic. I'm just hoping to survive telling my family!"

He grinned at me. "I don't know about you, but I'm wearing body armor! Your granny is scary."

That she is, but I love her anyways.

"How do you think your family will react?" I asked.

"They'll love you. They'll probably smack me around a little for not bringing you home sooner, but my mother will probably go say a dozen Hail Mary's that I finally got married. She'll be ready to kiss your feet in joy," he said wryly.

I had to grin. "My mom's going to need to by stock in Jim Beam."

"Why's that?" Lester asked.

I winced. "Joe made it sound like all you guys were thugs and gangbangers. So it might take a little convince her otherwise, but I have faith in your persuasive abilities."

He smirked at me. "I convinced you, didn't I?" he asked.

"Yep."

"As long as you protect me from your granny, I'll do my best to persuade your mom."

"Deal!"

A new nurse walked in then. "Good evening! I'm Alice and I'll be your nurse tonight. I have some pain meds for you," she said before launching into the questions about Les's identity and his pain levels.

He answered them all correctly and she injected the meds after taking his vitals and checking him over thoroughly. "Do you need anything else?"

"No," Les replied.

"I'll see you in an hour or two to recheck your vitals," she said. "If you need anything before then, just let me know."

Once she was gone, we went back to cuddling. "You should get to go home day after tomorrow if all goes well," I told him.

"Good," he said with a sigh. "I hate hospitals."

I knew the feeling. I patted his hard abs consolingly. Mmm, bet his abs would be yummy. Sometime to put on my mental to do list.

We chatted for a little while longer but it was taking Les longer and longer to reply and his words were starting to slur together. I finally gave up. I gave him a kiss and hugged him tight. "I love you. Go to sleep now, I'll stay right here with you."

"You too," he replied slowly a moment later.

A few minutes later, his breathing was deep and regular, and he was out. I lowered his bed so he could sleep flat. Then I texted Bobby, who was back a few minutes later with two bottles of water and a couple of bananas. He handed me a bottle and a piece of fruit.

I drank some of the water but put the banana on the table. I wasn't hungry, and if I was hungry, it would be for Ella's magical food, not fruit.

"How's he doing?" Bobby asked once he finished his banana.

"Good. Back asleep now, I think," I told him.

"How are you doing?" Bobby asked.

I thought about it for a minute. "I'm alright. Still worried about him, obviously, but feeling a lot better now that I've talked to him a couple of times. How are you? You still look tired."

Bobby nodded slowly. "I'm fine."

"Liar. You are not. Go back to Haywood and get some sleep, I'll stay here with Les," I told him.

Bobby shook his head. "No, I can sleep right here if you two can keep from making out and giggling."

I smiled. "He started it!"

Bobby rolled his eyes at me. "Someone will be outside all night. So let's all go to sleep now. He's cranky when he's hurt so we're going to need all of our energy to deal with him tomorrow!"

I grinned. "Alright. Goodnight, Bobby. And thanks for being here."

"No problem. Night, Bomber," Bobby said as he reduced the light in the room down to the bare minimum the nurses would need to check on him.

_**Author's note: **__ Poor Les, he was convinced it was all a drug-induced dream! _

_What do you think of this chapter? You know by now that I live for your reviews, so please leave one!_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Chapter 19**_

The doctor came by at the crack of dawn. Literally. The sky outside the window was just starting to turn the faintest shade of blue when Bobby shook me awake. I think I growled at him. I'm not a morning person.

"Bomber, doctor's here," Bobby told me.

Bobby helped me to sit up again and I yawned widely before glaring at the doctor. "Are you one of those crazy morning people?" I asked suspiciously.

She grinned at me. "God, no. I hate mornings. But I wanted to check on Mr. Santos before things got busy this morning."

I nodded. "Okay, I still like you then. But for future reference, I hate mornings too. Just in case you ever have to treat me."

"Duly noted," she replied as she was studying Lester's chart. "He do okay overnight?"

I nodded. "Yeah. He woke up once or twice but just for a little while. He was able to go back to sleep pretty quickly."

"Good," the doctor said as she washed her hands thoroughly and pulled on gloves. She peeled back the hospital gown and bandages again to poke at Lester's numerous stitches.

"Everything is still looking good here. I want to keep him another day just to keep an eye on his vitals and his incision. It was a pretty close thing for him, and it's better to be safe than sorry. And with all the broken bones with the collar bone and ribs, it's going to hurt like crazy, and we can keep him mostly sedated while his body starts to heal."

Bobby groaned. "He's going to hate it, but I think that's the best thing for him."

Bobby was right. Les wasn't happy when he woke up later, but Bobby was implacable that he had to suck it up and deal with it. Of course, the fact that the drugs kept him high as a kite helped a great deal. He pretty much only woke up to eat before the drugs put him back out again.

But I was convinced that my ass was beginning to chemically bond with the hospital mattress by the next morning when the doctor came by again. But if I left for too long, Les started to get restless. He wasn't kidding when he said that went a little nuts on the pain medicines, but luckily I seemed to be able to keep him calm as long as I murmured in his ear and rubbed his hair or chest when he started to mumble in his sleep.

I think my arm was about to fall off from petting him so much, but it was a very small price to pay to keep him comfortable and resting.

"Alright, everything's looking good, so we'll let him go if he's able to eat breakfast and go to the bathroom normally," she said. "The nurse will give you discharge instructions and get you set up with appointments with an orthopedist and physical therapist, but basically he needs to take it really easy for the next few weeks at least. Nothing that causes pain, absolutely no driving. He can lose the splint, but he'll need to keep the sling until he's told otherwise. His regular doctor, or PA," she said as she looked at Bobby with a grin, "can remove the sutures in seven to ten days. See the orthopedist to follow up. Call me or bring him back if there are any problems before then. Any questions?"

I didn't have anything and apparently neither did Bobby. "Okay, then it was nice meeting you both. Hopefully I won't see you again too soon, except maybe in the grocery store or something!" then she smiled and was gone.

I stretched by out, but I heard Bobby whispering on his phone in the corner. I guess he was calling in with an update. I was back asleep within a few minutes.

I woke up later to little flutters on my face. I tried to brush the sensations away but they continued. I opened my eyes in annoyance and found Lester grinning at me. He actually looked somewhat normal. Except, you know, for his arm being at a right angle to the rest of him. Hopefully they'd get that splint off of him soon.

"Hey!" I said as I blinked at him. "You're awake!"

"Morning, Sleeping Beautiful," he said.

I sat up and looked around. There was sun streaming in through the window and Bobby was stretched out in the recliner watching us.

"How are you feeling?" I asked once I leaned in and kissed him good morning.

"Better than before. Thanks for convincing me to take the drugs and keeping me sane on them," he said.

I smiled. "You're welcome. And you were fine yesterday. As long as I stayed next to you, you didn't seem to thrash around much."

"You must be magic," he told me with a grin.

"Hmm, that could be my next career move. I could market myself as a magic body pillow for people in the hospital," I said with a smile.

Lester's eyes narrowed. "No."

"No?"

"No, you will not be in bed with any guy other than me," he said with a bit of a jealous tone to his voice.

I just grinned at his caveman attitude and shook my head.

"When do we get to blow this joint?" I asked Bobby.

He shrugged. "They haven't brought him breakfast or removed his catheter and IV yet, or taken him out of the splint, so it'll be a while."

I nodded before looking back at Lester. "I get to get out of the splint?" Les looked excited.

"Yeah, but you'll still be in a sling."

"Still, my arm won't be at a right angle to my body? Score!"

At least he's easily pleased.

"Will you be okay with Bobby as your magic body pillow for a minute while I go get cleaned up?"

"As long as Bobby stays over there and doesn't try to be my body pillow, I'll be fine," he told me with a grin.

I kissed him gently and then crawled out of the bed, standing and stretching once I was out of the bed. "Back in a few minutes!" I told them both as I headed towards the bathroom.

I took care of Mother Nature before taking a quick shower. Once Les was at home, I worried that I wouldn't be able to leave him for very long for the first few days. I'd been shot before and it hurt like a bitch. I could only imagine how it must feel to have a shattered collarbone and broken ribs on top of having been shot. It couldn't be good.

I changed into jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt before trying to tackle my hair. Hector had brought most of my hair gels but not my blow dryer, so I could only get as much water out of it as possible before working in a bit of anti-frizz gel. That would have to do.

I swiped on bit of powder and lip-gloss before calling it done.

Bobby and a wonderful nurse, Sandy, were helping to get Les out of the splint when I walked out of the bathroom. He was biting on his lower lip and looked like he was about to puke, but he wasn't cursing. Yet.

Once Sandy and Bobby got his arm in the sling, Les let out a long sigh. "Damn," he murmured.

"Sorry, sweetie," Sandy replied sympathetically. "I know it's painful. But the worst is over now. I just need to get your catheter out now and then you can rest for a bit before breakfast."

On that note, it's time for me to go find coffee. I didn't really need to watch that part.

I came back a few minutes later with four cups of coffee, three black for Les, Bobby and Woody, who was standing guard at the door, and one with lots of cream and sugar for me.

Les was looking a little better than when I left, so I sat down on the bed next to him and leaned in for a quick kiss. He happily complied, wrapping his good hand around my neck to pull me closer.

"Stop it!" Bobby ordered.

I pulled back with a slightly unfocused gaze. Les just smirked at my distraction.

"Jealous, Brown?" Lester asked.

"Hell yes! We all want to find a woman like Bombshell. But I do not need to see the man I think of as my brother macking on the woman I think of as my little sister. So cut it out!"

I started laughing. "Sorry if we offended your sensibilities, Bobby. But we are allowed to kiss now, you know."

He shoved a hand through his short hair. "Just don't do it in front of me!"

I grinned at his obvious discomfort. "I'll try to keep it PG in front of you," I told him.

"Thank you!"

"Not me," Lester growled. "He's a big boy, he can handle an R rated movie," he said as he pulled me to him again and kissed me.

I laughed and pulled back when Bobby started cursing under his breath.

"Behave yourself," I warned. "You're going to need his help over the next couple of weeks." That shut Lester up but his eyes were still a smoldering emerald green.

I had to suck in a deep breath and remind myself that he was injured to keep from throwing myself into his arms, well, arm, and taking him up on the promise in his eyes.

I settled for taking a couple of sips of my coffee instead. "Do you want me to go get you some breakfast or do you want the hospital food?" I asked once I'd regained my composure.

He shot me a disgruntled look that left me grinning. He didn't like hospital food any more than I did.

We both looked at Bobby. "Any restrictions on what he should eat?"

Bobby nodded. "I'll go get it if you'll hang out with him. He's on a high protein diet for the time being."

Lester groaned. "I'm not drinking that protein mix shit!" he told Bobby instantly. "It tastes like ass!"

Bobby grinned. "You'll eat and drink what I tell you to if you want to get back in shape for Bombshell!" he teased.

Lester groaned again but didn't argue any more. "Just get me some real food too!" he pleaded.

"Bomber, I assume you want something full of sugar and fat?" Bobby asked.

I shot him my own look of disdain. "Never mind, I know the answer to that one," Bobby said with a chuckle. "I'll be back soon."

I gave Lester a very quick and limited sponge bath while Bobby was gone. He kept trying to convince me that his middle region was really dirty and needed extra scrubbing, but I didn't buy it. "I can stop if you don't like how I'm doing it!" I retorted.

He just waggled his eyebrows at me. "I can make it worth your while, Beautiful," he growled in a raspy voice.

"No doubt, but Bobby will be back any minute and he freaked out to see us kissing. He'll have a heart attack if I'm washing your winkie when he walks in!"

"We're in a hospital," Lester replied instantly. "We could get him help. He'd make it!"

I grinned and shook my head. "Not going to happen."

"Damn," he grumbled. "We've been married for a month and we still haven't had a wedding night!"

"Patience, grasshopper," I told him with a smile. "How about this? Once you're back to normal, we'll head back to Vegas to celebrate and have a belated honeymoon?"

He snagged the front of my shirt and pulled me to him for a searing kiss that made my toes curl. "Beautiful, I love you more than words can say, but you've lost your mind if you think I can wait months for my arm to be back to normal to make love to you!"

I laughed out loud. "Who said anything about waiting months? I just said once you were better, we'd go to Vegas to have a late honeymoon and to celebrate you being okay."

"Okay. I can wait hours, but that's about as much as I can promise. We've finally agreed to be together and I _need_ to make love to my wife!"

I grinned at the word wife. It didn't scare me like it did when Joe had said it. Guess that meant I was finally with the right man.

I leaned in and kissed his cheek. "We'll find a way to make it work once you're feeling better," I promised. I did not put a time on when that would be. I had a feeling it wouldn't be as soon as he'd clearly like.

He groaned and crushed his lips to mine, his tongue thrusting into my mouth as his good arm held me tightly to his side.

"Damn it, I told you two to stop doing that!" Bobby exclaimed from the door. Woody was peering around the corner at us with wide eyes.

I pulled back and laughed at Bobby's tone. Lester leaned back against the bed with a groan. "Brown, your timing sucks!"

Bobby huffed at us. "I think my timing is pretty damn good! You're supposed to be taking it easy. And that is NOT taking it easy!"

"No, it's pretty damn hard," Lester muttered softly. I burst out laughing and Bobby joined in a few seconds later.

"Glad my misery is amusing to you two," Lester growled. Aww, someone was cranky.

I settled on the bed next to him and wrapped my arm around his waist and put my face into his neck. His right arm came around me. The left one was strapped to his chest in the sling.

"Just eat your breakfast, go potty and then we'll get you home. And the sooner you rest and get better, the sooner we can take care of that problem together," I said into his ear.

He shot me a wolf grin. "I like the last part."

I chuckled. "I figured."

"No more kissing!" Bobby exclaimed as he came over with the bags from McDonalds.

I put a little space between us and grabbed for the bag Bobby handed to me. Yum, McGriddles!

Bobby started pulling out food and putting it on the rolling table for Les. There were two huge honking plates of scrambled eggs, a couple of links of sausage and two containers of yogurt and fruit. Lester licked his lips and grinned at Bobby.

I scooted forward so he could move his arm and reach for his plastic fork. The room was silent except for the happy sounds of people eating junk food for breakfast. We finished eating, with Lester happily finishing off the last bit of my third McGriddle that I couldn't fit into my stomach. Yeah, I'm a porker. But stress always makes me hungry and there can't be much more stressful than the last two few had been for me.

An orderly came in with a tray twenty minutes after we finished eating. "He already had scrambled eggs and yogurt. I discussed his diet with his doctor earlier," Bobby told the surprised young man, who nodded and left without a word.

Lester started mainlining the water at that point, eager to be able to pee and then head home. Within an hour, he was starting to look uncomfortable.

"Alright," he said. "Let's do this. I want out of here!"

I hit the button and waited for the nurse.

"He needs to go to the bathroom," I informed Sandy.

She nodded. "Alright." She pulled on gloves and got the bathroom ready for Les, and stepped forward to help him up.

Les winked at me and then leaned forward slightly so Bobby and I could help him up.

He paled, his dark honey skin turning pasty as sweat broke out on his upper lip and brow. "You okay?" I asked anxiously as he stood with a groan.

"Yeah, baby," he panted.

Bobby and I stood still to give him a moment to catch his breath before we started shuffling towards the bathroom. Bobby and the nurse went in with him while I hovered outside the door.

The door swung open a minute later and Lester shuffled out with Bobby and Sandy trailing after him.

As soon as he saw me there, he wrapped his good arm around my shoulders and pulled me protectively to his side. I wrapped my arm around his waist and helped him get back to the bed.

He sat back down on the bed with a groan. "Alright, I did my public piss. I want out of here now!" he demanded.

I had to bite my lip to not smile at his disgruntled tone.

Sandy just rolled her eyes slightly at his tone, but she ignored his attitude. "I'll go start on your paperwork."

"Bobby, if you'll get the discharge stuff set with Sandy, I'll get him dressed," I offered.

Bobby shot me a sympathetic look. "Good luck," he murmured before slipping out the door to go over the myriad discharge instructions with nurse Sandy.

"You okay?" I asked him.

He just scowled at me. Someone's not in a good mood.

I dug around in the duffle bag Cal had brought in earlier to find him some clean clothes. I helped him pull on some smiley face boxers, despite his grumbling that they were too damn cheerful when he felt like shit. Then I got a pair of black lounge pants on him. It took some doing to get socks and shoes on him without tickling his sensitive feet.

I didn't know what to do about a shirt. I mean, his left arm was strapped to him, and I didn't want to undo it and hurt him. Plus it wouldn't exactly be easy get a t-shirt on him with a broken collarbone and ribs, especially since most of his t-shirts were skintight.

"I don't know what to do for a shirt," I finally told him. "Ella sent some shirts but I don't think we can get any of them on you without hurting you more."

"Fine, I'll just be naked then," he grumped.

"Lester Santos, stop it," I finally said in exasperation.

"What?" he said as he looked up at me with a little boy look of "Whoops! Busted!" on his face.

"I know you're not happy to be hurting. But I'm doing the best I can to help you. So can you please dial the cranky back a notch or two?"

He sighed and then pulled me to sit next to him. "I'm sorry, Beautiful. I just don't handle being sick or hurt well."

"I don't either. Guess we'll have to figure out how to work it out. But right now, I need you to take it down a little before I break your other arm!" I told him, trying to make him smile.

He grinned slightly at me and then kissed the side of my head. "I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking," I told him as I turned back to give him a kiss of my own. "How are you feeling now? And tell me the truth."

He sighed and rubbed his head with his good arm. "Honestly, pretty shitty. My arm and chest are throbbing like you wouldn't believe and I feel like I'm going to be sick when I move much."

"Drugs have mostly worn off?"

He just nodded slightly with a weary sigh.

"I'll tell Bobby to give you something," I told him. "We've got to get you home in one piece so you can rest. So I'll have him find something strong enough to take the edge off without making you nuts. Okay?"

He stared at me for a few seconds before nodding.

I leaned him against the bed and gave him a soft kiss on his forehead. "I'll be right back."

His eyes stayed closed so I rushed out. And into Bobby.

"Whoa, Bomber! Where's the fire?" he asked as I bounced off his chest.

I blinked up at him. "He's hurting, Bobby. We have to give him something to get him home without getting sick."

"How bad is it?" Bobby asked.

"Bad enough that he's letting it show," I told him. "So it's pretty bad."

"He's got a prescription for some fairly heavy duty painkillers here," Bobby said as he waved the sheaf of papers at me. "I'll run and get it filled while Woody gets the SUV ready."

"Okay. I'll be with him until you're back. And Bobby?" I said as he started to turn away. "Please hurry."

Bobby just nodded and took off down the hall at a fast double-time march. I had a feeling he'd scare the hell out of the pharmacist until he got the prescription filled right away. And I was completely fine with that.

I went back into the room to find Lester still sitting as I left him, but he looked faintly green. I rushed to his side. "You okay?"

He just nodded without opening his eyes. "You need anything?"

"Just you," he muttered. So I sat down next to him and started digging my fingers through his hair. It had worked when he was mostly out of it on drugs, so I hoped it would help him to feel a little better now. It seemed to work now as he started relaxing slowly.

Bobby came in the room about ten minutes later, a bottle of pills clutched triumphantly in his hand.

He shook two into his hand and then handed them to Lester. I handed over the pink cup of water once Les had popped them into his mouth. Then I hugged him and kissed his darkly shadowed cheek gently. He hadn't shaved in two days, and he looked very scruffy and dangerous with the heavy stubble on his lean cheeks.

"We'll let them start to kick in for a little bit," I told Les and Bobby, being very familiar with the effects of painkillers. "You just rest and I'll get all of our stuff together."

Bobby kept a close eye on him while I stuffed the discarded clothing and items into duffel bags. I puttered around for a little while to give the drugs time to start working. After about fifteen minutes, Bobby nodded before slipping out of the room.

I didn't think Les was asleep, but he didn't look fully with it either. So I approached him cautiously. "Les?" I said softly.

"Yeah, Beautiful. It time to go?" he responded instantly.

"Yeah."

He opened his eyes and I helped him to stand up. Bobby was back in just a moment with an orderly and a wheelchair. Les sat down in the wheelchair and then threatened the break both arms of the orderly if he crashed him into the wall or something. I don't think he was entirely joking. Much as I love him, the dude was seriously not a good patient.

The poor guy just nodded and tried not to look as terrified as he was. Les didn't have a shirt on, yum, and his hard muscles were on full display. So it was pretty clear between looking at Les and Bobby that they could make the threat a reality.

Bobby grabbed the bags from me and we headed towards the door very carefully, since the orderly wasn't taking any chances. I waved goodbye to Sandy and the other nurses as we wheeled past the nurses' station, and we got lots of sympathetic looks. We made it to the front door without any problems, and I think the orderly was ready to go to his knees and thank God when we finally got Les loaded into the SUV.

Les was pale and sweaty by the time we got him home. I knew Woody was driving as carefully as he could, but this is Trenton that we're talking about and some of the potholes would be more accurately classified as craters. So he was definitely feeling the strain in his arm and chest by the time we rolled to a stop in front of his, our, house.

Bobby and Woody helped him out of the back of the SUV while I raced ahead to open doors, clear the alarm and get the blankets on the bed turned back for him. Once I had him in bed, I didn't plan to let get up except to go to the bathroom for a while.

By the time I stacked up pillows to keep him elevated, since Sandy had said he might sleep better if he was elevated slightly with his ribs, Bobby and Woody were helping Les into the bedroom. He sat down heavily on the bed with a groan and I rushed to get his shoes and socks off so he could lay down and perhaps get some sleep.

He looked like shit from the movement and jarring, so I crawled in beside him and started rubbing my hands through his hair and whispering soothingly into his ear.

"Well hell, darlin', if we'd known getting shot would get you into bed with your hands all over us, Brown would have a lot more after action reports to process!" Woody said with a smirk.

Les opened his eyes and glared at him before pulling me close with his good arm. "Too late, man, she's mine!"

I grinned and shook my head. "Just don't forget that it cuts both ways," I whispered into Lester's ear. His arm tightening around my waist was answer enough.

"Leave him alone. He's tired, sore and cranky," I told Woody. "Thanks for helping to get him home but I don't think he's in a hanging out mood."

Woody just nodded and shot me a quick grin and wink before disappearing out the door.

"You need anything?" Bobby asked us both.

I looked at Lester, who resembled Shrek now since he was so green from pain and nausea.

"Not right now," I told Bobby.

He nodded. "I'll be in the living room if you need anything," Bobby said. "He's got some movies I've been meaning to watch."

I stretched out next to Lester and snuggled up to his side. "Anything I can do to help?" I asked softly.

"No," he said quietly. "Unless you want to shoot me again but have better aim than the son of a bitch skip."

"Nope. You're stuck with me now, Santos," I told him.

His lips quirked a little at my comment. "Only good thing about this shit was getting you to realize that, Beautiful."

I leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "Yeah. But right now, try to rest. I'll be right here in case you need anything."

_**Author's note: **__ And Les is home! But his injuries aren't minor and it's going to be a while before he's back to normal. And he's not a pleasant patient (but who is?) so don't expect him to be all happiness and joy._

_Thanks to Sandy for her medical insight as an orthopedic nurse! Hope you enjoyed vicariously caring for Les. *grin* All the medical mistakes are mine, but Sandy was kind enough to help me out to try to keep it at least semi-authentic._

_So… whatcha think? Please review!_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Chapter 20**_

I cuddled up next to him while he slept, just in case he needed anything, but surprisingly, for me at least, I didn't fall asleep too. Normally me being horizontal on a bed was enough to make me sleep, but my brain was too busy to sleep.

I'd been falling in love with him by degrees for probably years really, but I had been so hung up on Joe and Ranger that I didn't truly notice the supportive green-eyed hottie in the background every time I needed help. And when I did notice, I just assumed he was there because Ranger told him to be there. But according to Bobby, who should know, Les had always been there for me just because he cared about me. He didn't expect anything from me, he figured I was in some sort of weird relationship with Ranger, but he was always there for anyways.

But especially since Ranger had left, Lester had been there- to hang out, to push me to learn to defend myself better, to hold my hand when I had a bad day. He'd told me the day after we gotten married that once he realized that he might have a shot in hell with me, he wasn't about to miss the opportunity. So he made it his mission in life to spend time with me and to make me smile. That had just accelerated the whole falling in love thing.

But now, oh holy cow, now I was married to this amazing man sleeping next to me. I was married! Holy shit!

I had never planned to get married ever again and I probably wouldn't have ever done it had copious quantities of alcohol and a Frank Sinatra impersonator in Las Vegas not somehow combined to get us hitched. Marriage scared me too much but I hoped that I'd be able to face my fears with Lester by my side.

I lay there for hours and hours while Les slept beside me, simply thinking about how much my life had changed in the last eight months. I'd been hurt when Ranger had left like that, but the fact that I'd bounced back pretty quickly had convinced me that I wasn't really in love with the man, but rather the ideal. Same thing with Joe. I was more hurt about the lost time than I was about losing Joe.

But Lester combined the best qualities of both men in one oh so yummy package. He was funny, smart and sweet, but he was also incredibly sexy and would do anything to be there for me. Unlike Ranger and Joe, though, he asked rather than ordered. He didn't show up and drag me out of bed to jog even if I didn't want to, he charmed and cajoled me into getting my ass out of bed. The fact that his ass was barely covered by tight little running shorts and he ran in front of me also helped with the motivation. I have to be honest.

But the mornings when I told him very seriously that I didn't feel like it, he would drop it, go for his run and then come back by with a cup of coffee for me. What girl could possibly resist falling in love with that?

Yeah, I'm one lucky girl. Now I just had to get him better so I could lucky. With my husband. Okay, stop thinking about that, Plum, before you get yourself worked into a state!

Eventually, he started waking up and muttering my name. I sat up beside and started rubbing my hands through his hair and telling him how much I loved him, how incredible he was and how lucky I was.

I was so focused on trying to calm him before he started thrashing around and hurt himself that I didn't notice the open green eyes and smile for a few minutes.

"You're awake!" I exclaimed once I did notice.

"Yeah, Beautiful," he said.

"I was trying to calm you down so you could go back to sleep," I told him as I let my hands drop out of his hair. He caught my hand with his functional arm and brought it to his lips. I shuddered when he pressed a hot kiss to the center of my palm.

"Getting shot might have been worth to hear you say those things," he said with his eyes locked on mine.

I blushed as I thought about all the things I'd said while I thought he was still asleep.

"Stop that," he said when I looked away with a blush. "I felt like the Grinch hearing it. My heart grew at least three sizes."

I smiled at his joke. "I mean it all. I just have a bit of a problem talking about my feelings sometimes."

He grinned slightly. "Ya think?"

I rolled my eyes. "You knew this about me before we ran off to Vegas, so don't act so shocked, mister!" I retorted.

He grinned at me. "Beautiful, I love you, even your emotional awkwardness. It's cute."

I rolled my eyes at him. "How are you feeling?" I said to change the subject away from my emotional constipation.

"A little better now that I've been able to stay still and sleep some on a real bed. Did you get any sleep?"

"Nah, just enjoyed cuddling up to you for the last little bit."

His face fell. "I'm sorry you couldn't sleep."

"Les, I said I enjoyed cuddling up to you. I slept next to you all night and most of yesterday, so I guess I'm good with sleep for the moment. But you know me, I love any chance to veg out, so it worked out great!"

He smiled again. "You sure?"

"Yep." He just smiled contentedly at me.

"You need anything? Food, water, bathroom?" I asked.

He grimaced. "Bathroom. I think I went a little overboard with the water at the hospital."

"Okay, just let me get Bobby and we'll get your bladder all happy again in just a minute!" I slithered out of the bed and into the hallway so I could yell for help.

"Bobby! He needs to go to the bathroom."

I heard footsteps a minute later and then Bobby came into view. He followed me into the bedroom, where Les was lying there waiting impatiently for us. Guess he really had to go!

Once we got him upright, I let Bobby help hold him steady while I ran into the bathroom to get it ready for him. Thank God he'd remodeled to have a large bathroom. I'm not sure how well it would have worked for such a big guy with a battered arm in a teeny, tiny bathroom. I'm sure that banging his arm into the wall accidentally would not be good.

I slipped out to let him take care of business without a big audience. I loved him a lot, and I would have managed that part if I'd had to, but I kind of preferred not to be that involved in his convalescence if I could avoid it. I was sure it wasn't the first time that Bobby had watched one of the guys pee, so I didn't feel too bad about leaving him to supervise Lester's potty break.

I raced into the kitchen and checked out the fridge and cabinets. Score! They were full of food. God bless the guys and Ella. Yum!

Then I headed back to the bedroom and was waiting there when Bobby came out with a sweaty and pale Les.

"Still a giant pain in the ass to move around?" I asked sympathetically.

Les just nodded ever so slightly.

"Sorry. Do you want to lie back down or sit up in the bed for a little while?" I asked.

He thought about it while shuffling slowly back towards the bed. "Sit up for a while."

I simply started re-arranging the pillows to make that easier for him, and he sat down with a groan. Bobby started checking his wounds and asking him questions, but we all froze when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," I announced as I turned to answer the door.

"Beautiful," Les said to halt me. "Take a gun, just in case."

I rolled my eyes but I detoured to grab a gun out of the bedside table. Like all of the men in black, he was Mr. Guns 'n' Ammo, and there were guns stashed all over the house.

I walked towards the door and thought about that. If we ever had kids over at the house, my nieces or any of his nieces or nephews, we'd have to do an Easter egg hunt for weaponry first!

I checked the video surveillance panel first and saw Tank standing at the door with a big box. More Ella food, I bet, yay! I looked out the peep hole more out of habit than anything else before opening the door.

"Hey Tank," I told him as I let him in. "How's it going?"

"Bomber," he said with a slight smile and a nod. "I'm fine. How's Santos?"

I gestured towards the kitchen to direct him and his box of yummy-smelling happiness. His eyebrow went up when he saw the Glock in my hand.

"He's fine. Bobby's checking him out right now."

"Think he's up to talking with me for a few minutes?" Tank asked as he sat the food on the kitchen island.

I shrugged. "Probably. I'll go ask as soon as Bobby's done with his medic stuff." I peeked in the box and grinned at the massive amount of food. We'd definitely not starve tonight!

I occupied myself putting up the food and asking Tank about the skip who had shot Lester while we waited for Bobby. The bastard skip had ended up with several broken ribs and lots miscellaneous bruises from Les tackling him and Zero rather forcefully subduing him while waiting on the ambulance for Les. Good, served him right for shooting Les.

"Steph?" Bobby called out a few minutes later.

I shot a quick grin at Tank and then hightailed it to the bedroom.

"Yeah?" I asked as Bobby headed down the hallway.

"He's resting now, you can go back in."

I nodded. "Tank's in the kitchen with a boatload of food. I'll see if Les is up for company."

I walked cautiously into the room to see Les lying against the pillows looking pretty pale. "Hey," I said quietly just in case he'd fallen asleep.

"Hey, Beautiful," he replied, his eyes still closed. I put the gun back into the nightstand and perched gingerly next to him.

"You need anything?" I asked.

"New arm?"

I smiled and kissed his sweaty cheek. "I would if I could," I told him. "Tank's in the kitchen, do you think you're up to talking with him for a minute?"

"Yeah."

"Ella sent him over with a ton of food. You want anything?" I asked.

"Just something cold to drink for right now. Coke if we've got any," he said.

"Okey dokey, back in a minute then."

I retraced my steps to the kitchen and saw Tank and Bobby having a brief but seemingly very intense conversation. I slowed, not wanting to intrude.

"Bomber," Tank said when he saw me.

"He said he's okay to chat with you, but he wants a Coke. Can you take it in with you?" I asked as I opened the fridge and pulled out a familiar red can.

He just held out his hand for the soda and headed towards the bedroom.

I smiled at Bobby and sat down on one of the stools at the island. I really loved how Les's kitchen, our kitchen now, I guess, had turned out. It felt homey and comfortable, and I was completely happy to just relax at the big island in the center of the room.

"So how's he doing?" I asked Bobby as I opened one of the plastic bowls from Ella. It was something that looked fried, so I was up for that.

"He's in pain but he's managing. I gave him another painkiller, just one this time, so we'll probably need to get some food into him before he goes back to sleep. No signs of infection or anything like that, which is good. Just going to hurt like a bitch while the bones and muscles heal," Bobby replied as he plunked a piece of the mystery-fried food out of the bowl and ate it.

I ate one too. "Holy cow, this is good!" I exclaimed. "What is it?"

Bobby grinned at me as I shoved another one in my mouth. "Fried sweet plantains," he answered. "And they're one of his favorites, so don't eat them all."

I ate one more piece before reluctantly putting the lid back on the bowl. They were delicious, and fried sweet plantains were now one of my favorite foods too.

I looked in the other bowls and found lots of grilled chicken and veggies in what smelled like a spicy marinade, black beans, rice and a small bowl of sour cream. Hopefully Les would be happy, it certainly made me happy just looking at it and smelling it.

Bobby and I chatted for a while until Tank came back into the kitchen. "So I hear congratulations are in order," he said as he clamped one huge hand down on my shoulder.

I blushed and nodded, and then squeaked when he pulled me off the stool into a hug. "I'm happy for you both. Congratulations, little girl," he said as he kissed my cheek. I stared at him in shock for a minute until he started to laugh. "And I did warn him not to break your heart or a busted shoulder would be the least of his problems."

I laughed and Bobby chuckled.

"He said you could get me the wedding certificate out of his safe," Tank continued. "I need to make a copy for the paperwork."

"Sure," I said. "I think I remember the code, but let me double check that with Les first so the safe doesn't blow up or self destruct or something."

Bobby started laughing. "And knowing you, it would!"

"Bite me, Brown," I said with a wink as I went towards the bedroom. Les was still awake despite looking tired. He was amused at my comment that I might make his safe self-destruct, and he promised me that it was not rigged with any explosives.

"I had to tell him," Les said apologetically. "I need to get you officially listed on all of my documents as my next of kin and the only way to do that is to produce the wedding certificate."

I figured Tank could spare a minute so I took the time for a quick hug. "I'll tell Tank to keep it to himself for now, he seems good at keeping quiet. We'll tell the rest of the guys once you're well enough to handle telling our families. Okay?"

He nodded faintly as his eyes closed. "It will be ten times worse if my mom hears about it from anyone but us," he agreed.

I gasped in horror at the idea that my mom or grandma might hear about it from someone at the hospital, but we'd just have to deal with it if that happened. I was a major topic of 'Burg gossip, though, so it was likely that someone would spill the beans. I groaned.

His eyes opened. "What?"

"I'll bet you anything that someone at the hospital will tell someone who will tell someone until it gets back to my mom or grandma that we're married," I told him. "I'll have to disconnect my cell phone!"

"Sorry, Beautiful," he said with a tired sigh.

I leaned in to kiss him gently. "No worries. Just a little more gossip, that's no big deal. And your aunt Ella sent dessert with Tank, so at least I'll still have one guaranteed source of dessert in town!"

He grinned at me, but his eyes were starting to look slightly hazy. Time to feed him before he fell back asleep again. Bobby must have given him some of the good drugs.

"I'll get the stuff for Tank and then we'll eat. Bobby said fried sweet plantains were a big favorite, and there's a big bowl of them," I told him.

He grinned and licked his lips. So I licked his lips too and then dashed away before he could say or do anything. I could hear him laughing, so I figured he was fine.

I got the marriage certificate out of the safe tucked in the closet of his office and then took it to Tank. I was strangely reluctant to let him have it, even though I knew it was irrational. We were still married even without me holding onto the piece of paper but I was still trying to get used to the idea of marriage without hyperventilating.

"I'll keep it safe," Tank assured me. "I'll just get a certified copy made from a guy I trust and then bring you back the original."

"Okay," I said as I let it go. "We're keeping this quiet right now until we have a chance to tell our families, so please keep it to yourselves," I told both Tank and Bobby. They both nodded.

Bobby's lips were twitching. "What?" I asked suspiciously.

"We might ask if Ella can offload the laundry to your mom for a couple of weeks once you tell them," he said between his chuckles. "According to you, she'll be ironing like crazy!"

I nodded with a sigh as I sat back down at the island. "You're not kidding, unfortunately. Do you think Ella will adopt me if my mom disowns me?"

Tank chuckled and patted my back. "I can ask once you two announce it," he said. "But it's safe to assume that Ella will make you a huge wedding cake if nothing else."

I grinned at the idea of a huge cake by Ella. It might almost make up for never getting my mom's pineapple upside down cake ever again.

"Grab some food," I told them. "I'll going to heat up some stuff for me and Les, but you guys can hang out here and eat if you're hungry."

I got up and pulled a couple of plates out of the cabinet and put them on the island. Then I piled two plates full of yummy stuff, one substantially bigger for Les, before nuking them to get everything hot and delicious.

I'd seen a big wooden tray when I'd helped Les get the house ready for the renovations, so I went in search of it while the microwave took care of heating the food. It only took me a couple of minutes to find it.

Once I had the tray loaded with food, drinks, utensils and lots of napkins, I started slowly back towards the bedroom.

Les grinned when he saw me coming bearing dinner and tried to sit up a little straighter, but I saw the wince he tried to hide at the movement. His eyes were still slightly less focused than usual, but he seemed to be closer to normal than he had been on the super heavy-duty drugs at the hospital.

He pulled his long legs up and folded them into what I used to call Indian-style. I have no idea what the politically correct term is now. I settled the tray over his lap and then sat down across from him. I had to slice and dice his chicken for him, but he was able to manage eating by himself otherwise.

Lester told me this was a pretty traditional Cuban meal and one that he grew up eating a lot. That lead to more questions about his childhood, and he actually told me a bunch of stories about growing up in a mostly Cuban neighborhood. His mom and Ranger's mom were sisters, and Cuban, while Lester's dad was half-white and half-Puerto Rican. That explained the green eyes and lighter toned skin.

We chatted about our childhoods until we both finished dinner. I thoroughly enjoyed the plantains, and Lester thoroughly enjoyed my very vocal reactions to one of his favorite foods.

His eyes were starting to droop by the time we finished dinner, so I sat the tray on the floor and wet a washcloth to clean up the few splatters of sauce on his very delicious bare chest. I considered just licking him clean, as the food had had been very yummy and his chest looked even yummier, but he was almost asleep and I didn't want to wake him up too much.

Once he was clean, I helped him to slide down in the bed, which he did with only a few muttered curses as it jarred his still very sore shoulder and chest. I tucked the blankets around him and gave him a kiss on check before turning off the lights and letting him go to sleep.

I returned the tray to the kitchen and started putting the now empty dishes in the dishwasher. Bobby or Tank had already put the food in the fridge.

I found Bobby in the living room playing with Les's X-box.

"Hey Bomber," he said as he paused the game. "How's he doing?"

"He's fine. He ate and now he's sleeping," I told Bobby. "And sleep is sounding pretty good for me too."

Bobby grinned. "I'll crash in the guest room tonight, if you don't mind. I saw that two of the rooms upstairs have beds set up in them, guess the guys got those set up too. That way I'm here just in case he needs anything tonight."

"Sure, you probably know your way around here as well as I do, so knock yourself out," I told him. "I'll yell if we need you, but I think he's doing okay now."

I turned around and headed back towards Lester and bedroom. I heard the sounds of a war game resume seconds later. Hadn't these guys had enough of real war that they didn't need to play games about it? I'd seen all of Les's medals in his safe, so I know he'd seen actual combat on multiple occasions.

I took a quick shower, electing not to wash my hair since I had this morning, brushed my teeth and then changed into some cuddly jammies that had magically appeared in the walk-in closet. They were my size, not Les's, so I assume that he'd gotten them for me.

I snagged his laptop out of his office and then settled myself in the comfy club chair in the corner of the room. I emailed Connie to let her know that I'd be out for the next several days at least but to email or call if I had a skip who needed to be brought in ASAP. I left out the reason for my absence. I knew that it would be all over the 'Burg in no time if I wrote "_Hi Connie, my husband got shot so I'll be out of the office for a while."_

I had to suppress a shiver at the word husband. I'd gotten mostly okay with married over the last day, and I was somewhat okay with wife when Les said it, but the word husband still made my stomach jump, but in a good way when the image of Les popped in my head.

I could barely make out his shape in the dim glow of the laptop, but I didn't feel the urge to flee when I thought about the fact that Lester Santos was my husband. Yeah, I'd had a panic attack of epic proportions when I'd first woken up with a ring on my finger in Las Vegas, but Les had been very patient with my skittishness over the last few weeks. In my own defense, I'd never really thought of him as a potential boyfriend, let alone husband, until that morning, so it took some getting used to. I figured going from buddies to wedded bliss in a month was pretty quick by any standard.

I surfed the internet and deleted email ads to enhance part of the body that I didn't even possess. I hadn't been too up close and personal with that part of Les's anatomy yet, but from what I'd determined so far, he definitely did not need any enhancement. Nope, not at all. I was actually a little afraid it wouldn't fit, but I was hopeful, very hopeful, that we'd find a way to make all the pieces fit together.

I got tired of the internet after a while and decided to go ahead and go to bed. I could hear the faint sound of gunshots from the living room, so I trudged down the hall.

"Hey Bobby?" I said. He jumped and shrieked like a little girl.

"Holy shit! What, Bomber?" he panted.

I grinned like the Cheshire cat. Sneaking up on Merry Men might be dangerous, but it was also fun! "I was just going to ask you to turn down World War III a bit since I can hear it in the bedroom. It doesn't bother me, but I don't want Les to wake up and get confused again because he's hearing gunshots in the distance."

He just nodded and turned down the volume without a word.

I went back and slipped under the covers next to Les. He tightened his arm around me when I curled up next to him, and I fell asleep listening to his steady breathing.

_**Author's note: **__ So now Tank knows as well! How long do you think it'll be until word is out to the community at large? _

_As you know, reviews make me giddy, so please, make me giddy by leaving one!_

_If I get bored or overwhelmed with my dissertation work over the weekend, I might post over the weekend. Otherwise, I'll be back on Monday! Hope everyone has a great weekend!_


	21. Chapter 21

_**Chapter 21**_

I woke up to little kisses on my neck the next morning. When I finally pulled myself far enough out of dreamland to be aware of my surroundings, I realized that I was lying half on top of Lester and he was taking advantage of my location to kiss and nip at my neck.

I froze, afraid that I'd hurt his shoulder and chest if I moved suddenly.

"I know you're awake," he murmured into my ear before biting gently on my ear lobe.

"I'm just trying to figure out how to move without hurting you," I said into his ear, which was conveniently located next to my mouth already. I decided to return the favor he'd given me, so I licked the shell of his adorable ear.

I felt him jump slightly before he chuckled a bit. "Who said anything about you moving?"

I turned my head to stare into his eyes. "You got shot a couple of days ago and I'm draped across your chest. How can that not be hurting you?"

"I'm a fast healer. And you're draped across the uninjured side of my chest. And even if you weren't, having your body on my body would be worth it!" he said with a wicked grin.

I braced my arm against the pillows underneath us and tried to lever myself up. He gasped slightly and I froze. "What?" I demanded. "What did I do?"

I looked down to try to figure out how I could be hurting him, but I didn't seem to be touching him anywhere that could hurt him anymore. I glanced at his face and found that his eyes were firmly riveted on my chest. My shirt had gaped open when I moved, and he was getting an eyeful of my braless boobs under the shirt.

I lifted myself the rest of the way up and sat up next to him. "You are such a guy!" I complained. "I thought I'd hurt you!"

"That view completely distracted me from any pain," he said with a smile and a leer.

I rolled my eyes at him. Men- so easily distracted by boobies.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him.

"Okay. It's manageable," he replied. "If you'd like to come back over here, I can show you exactly how good I feel."

"Down, boy," I told him. "You're in no shape for misbehaving."

"We're married, Beautiful! It's not misbehaving when you're married!" he argued.

"Nice try, but it is misbehaving when you've been recently shot and you're supposed to be taking it easy."

He muttered a bit in Spanish before finally sighing. "Can you at least come give me a kiss good morning?"

Now that I could do. I leaned down to kiss him. Mmm, it was a very good morning indeed.

"I can't ever leave you two alone!" an exasperated Bobby said from behind me.

"Make up your mind, Brown," Les shot back. "Either you don't want us kissing in front of you or you don't want us kissing when you're gone. But I'm going to kiss her, that's not negotiable."

I had to giggle as I slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. I heard Bobby and Les picking on each other as I turned on the sink to try to tame my wild hair. It was going to take a shower to really get my mop under control, but I figured Les might need the bathroom, so I settled for pulling it into a ponytail. After I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I headed back out.

Les was sitting up on the side of the bed and Bobby had a blood pressure cuff wrapped around his arm. I sank into the chair in the corner and watched while Bobby and poked and prodded at Les. At least Les didn't look like Shrek this time, his skin was its usual dark honey rather than green. It was a vast improvement.

Bobby held out a hand, which Les ignored as he stood. He swayed slightly for a few seconds before becoming steadier. Then he walked slowly but steadily into the bathroom and shut the door in Bobby's face.

I giggled at the look of resigned annoyance on Bobby's face. I'd put that look on his face a number of times before. Bobby just sat down on the bed to wait for Les to do his thing and come back out.

"So did you win the war?" I asked Bobby.

He just grinned at me with a nod before updating me on Les. "He's pretty adamant that he doesn't want to take more of the prescription painkillers right now and he doesn't seem like he needs them too badly. He does have an incredible pain tolerance. Probably good idea to start tapering off anyways unless he really needs them to avoid side effects. I'll try to give him some ibuprofen when he's out of the bathroom, and you should try to get a couple in him every four to six hours after that, if he'll take them."

"I'm persuasive."

He snorted. "No shit. I'd have never in a million years thought that you could get him to take drugs in the hospital. Of course, you did have insider knowledge since you knew you could seduce him into it."

I blushed and looked away.

"Steph, I'm not trying to be all up in your business or anything, but he can't have sex right now," Bobby said, looking as embarrassed to say it as I was to hear it. "There was a lot of damage done and it will take some time to heal up enough for that kind of stuff. I've told him that too but I don't trust him to not risk it."

I smirked. Good call, Bobby, he'd already been trying to convince me to be naughty with him. "We'll behave," I promised, leaving it very vague.

Bobby looked relieved that the conversation was over. I was relieved too. I did not want to talk about my _nonexistent_ sex life with Bobby!

We sat in awkward silence for a minute. "Can he shower if you give him some of those sticky things to cover his stitches?" I asked. He was probably feeling rather icky from not having a real shower in several days, and I knew I'd be getting antsy to get clean if I were him.

"Yeah. I'll get some of the patches for you, and I can grab a shower chair in case it's too much to stand up for long just yet," he continued, more to himself than to me.

Lester ambled out a minute later. Bobby and I both stood when we heard the door start to open, just in case he needed help, but he walked out under his own power. He was paler than when I'd woken up next to him, but he looked much better than he had the day before.

He smirked at Bobby before heading straight to me and pulling me into his arms for a searing kiss.

"Damn it, man, I told you to stop that! It just ain't right," Bobby complained.

"Why's it not right?" Les asked as he pressed a kiss to my forehead and turned back to look at his friend.

"'Cause you're my brother and she my sister and it's… it's incest!"

I had to laugh at the horror in Bobby's tone. "Well, get some therapy and get over it," Les advised. "Because I plan to kiss her a lot. Among other things."

"Santos!" Bobby barked in a commanding tone. "I've told both of you now, nothing beyond kissing until the doctor approves it."

Les narrowed his eyes at Bobby and grumbled under his breath. Even I couldn't make out the words, but I was guessing they were not kind to Bobby. Or his mother.

"I will kick your ass if you tear out your stitches or fuck your shoulder up because you can't keep it in your pants," Bobby told him. "So take a cold shower or think about her granny or whatever you have to do, but no sex!"

Les shot an evil glare at Bobby and then turned and walked out of the bedroom. I shared a confused look with Bobby before we both raced after him.

"Les?" I asked. "Where are you going?"

"Couch," came the terse reply. "I saw we have one now."

"Wouldn't you rather stay in bed?" I asked.

"Not unless you're in it with me, and that's too dangerous for Miss Prude over there," he groused.

Bobby chuckled. "Damn man, you of all people should know I'm not a prude. But it's going to take me some time to get my head around the fact that two of my best friends are together like that. And you can't do anything right now without running the risk of hurting yourself worse."

"You sure know how to ruin a guy's whole day," Les said as he sank down onto the couch.

"I'm just trying to keep you from ruining your shoulder for good," Bobby said as he sat down in the chair across from Les.

Les sat down slowly, and I instantly tucked a couple of pillows around him to help support his ribs and side. He looked up at me with a wink. "I like nurse Stephanie."

"So you've said. But no more getting shot just to hang out with nurse Stephanie!"

"I'll try, Beautiful."

"Try hard."

He chuckled and then pulled me down into his lap. I fell across his thighs with a barely stifled shriek.

"Les!"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Don't do that! I could have hurt you when I fell!"

"Nah, I have faith in your balance abilities."

I glared at him. "Did you hit your head when you got shot?"

He grinned at me. "No."

"Bobby, can you check him for a brain injury? Clearly he's lost his damn mind if he thinks I can keep my balance worth a damn!"

Bobby was laughing at us and shaking his head. "You two are cute together," he said. "The making out thing is still gross, though!"

Les dropped a kiss on the tip of my nose. "So what's for breakfast?"

Bobby stood up and headed towards the kitchen. "Bacon and eggs sound good to everybody?"

My stomach growled its agreement. Les just laughed at the voracious approval of my beast of a stomach. "Works for us!"

I stood up and turned so I could lean gently against the uninjured side of his chest before sitting back down in his lap. "If you'd just ask, things would be much easier," I told him as I snuggled up to him. He wrapped his good arm around me and rested his chin on the top of my hair.

"I love you, Beautiful," he said softly.

"I love you too, sexy," I replied.

"Sexy?"

"Well, you are," I told him. "And you have a cute nickname for me, so I need to find one for you."

He just chuckled and I could feel it against my cheek as well as hear it. "Sexy works for me."

"I'll experiment a little. See what names work for you," I told him as I breathed in his musky scent. He didn't smell bad, but you could tell he hadn't really showered in a couple of days.

"Do I stink yet?" he asked.

"Not yet. But Bobby's going to get a shower chair for you so I can get you cleaned up when you're ready to take a shower."

He groaned. "I was ready for a shower days ago!"

I laughed. "Okay, I'll have him get it sooner than later then. We'll get you all squeaky clean!"

He growled slightly and I could tell that one part of him was very excited at the prospect a shower.

We just sat there with our arms around each other for a few minutes until Bobby popped out of the kitchen for a second. "You want to eat at the table or in here?" he asked Les.

Les though about it for a minute. "At the table," he said. "I need to move around a little bit."

"Well, start moving then cause it'll be ready in a few more minutes," Bobby said as he hurried back into the kitchen.

I helped Les to his feet, which apparently earned me a kiss, and then we headed into the kitchen. Les stood by the table for a few minutes and I could see his abs flexing as he stretched a little.

He sat down gingerly and I patted his good shoulder very gently and then headed over to help Bobby. I grabbed coffee mugs and filled them with the clarity-giving black gold that was in the coffee maker. I sat two cups down by Lester and Bobby's spots, and then went back to pour a cup for me. I added generous milk and sugar to mine. I knew how to live.

"OJ?" I asked and got a couple of grunts in reply. I was taking those as yes grunts. So I grabbed a couple of glasses from the cabinet and the gallon jug of orange juice from the fridge.

I got the table set with plates and cutlery and then Bobby handed me a big plate of toast. I sat it on the table and turned to see Bobby coming my way with a platter big enough for a Thanksgiving turkey full of eggs and bacon. Yum!

Bobby dumped a huge portion of eggs and bacon on Lester's plate before handing the platter to me. I took a less huge quantity of each and put it in the middle of the table. I grabbed a couple of slices of toast and then we all dug in.

"Damn, Bobby, you're a good cook!" I exclaimed after my first bite of eggs. They were really good, tasting light and buttery. I always ended up with rubbery eggs when I tried to cook them.

"Thanks," Bobby beamed.

Les just snorted as he inhaled his breakfast. "He's good at breakfast but lunch or dinner for him means a sandwich."

Bobby just smirked. "I don't cook lunch or dinner. I eat out or I eat Ella's food. Breakfast I sometimes make if I'm with a lady."

"Bobby?"

"Yeah, Bomber?"

"You know how watching me and Les kiss is kind of gross to you?"

"Yeah."

"Hearing about your sexploits is just as gross to me."

Both Bobby and Lester laughed and I just continued eating my surprisingly delightful breakfast. Damn, is there anything these guys can't do?

We finished breakfast and then Bobby tried to talk Lester into taking a couple of ibuprofen. Les set his face in a stubborn frown and refused at first but then I glared at him and he sighed and held out his hand. Bobby looked positively gleeful that he'd convinced Les to take the pills, and I didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't all due to his powers of persuasion.

Les was a little tired after being up for so long, so I helped him get back to bed. He wanted to sit on the couch, but I convinced him to lie down for a little while first.

I wandered back to the kitchen and found Bobby washing the dishes. "So are you our Ella now?"

He shot me a look strong enough to peel paint. "No."

"Just kidding, dude. Do you think one of the guys could go by my apartment and get some stuff for me?"

"Sure. Give me a list and I'll send someone over."

"Thanks, Bobby. You're the best!" I said over my shoulder as I walked to Lester's office to find a piece of paper and a pen. I made a list of stuff I needed, and then, like Santa, checked it twice to be sure I wasn't leaving anything off. It was mostly generic stuff like clothes, but I also asked for a couple of books and my TV/ DVD combo. Les didn't have a TV in the bedroom and I figured he'd appreciate the ability to watch movies in bed while he recovered.

Bobby was just finishing the dishes by the time I came back out.

I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Thanks for helping out with everything. You're a good friend," I said as I hugged him.

I felt him relax against me as he patted my arm with a soggy hand. "You're welcome. But you guys are my family, so there's no place else I'd be when one of you is hurt."

I squeezed him tightly and then stepped back. "Still, just wanted you to know how much we appreciate it."

"I know, Bomber."

I handed him the list I'd sat on the island. "No big rush on this, I'll just need more clean clothes and such in the next day or two."

"I'll have one of the guys bring it by tonight," he promised. "I'm going to head over to the office for a little while if you think you're okay with him alone. I'll be back in a couple of hours with supplies and stuff."

"We'll be fine."

"Alright. You know how to reach me if you need me. Otherwise, I have a key and the alarm code, so I'll just let myself in when I get back."

I nodded and Bobby tousled my curls as he walked by. "Bye, sis!"

"Bye, bro!"

_**Author's note: **__Please let me know what you think!_


	22. Chapter 22

_**Chapter 22**_

I wandered around the house and straightened up a little while letting Lester rest. I figured we'd have a steady parade of Merry Men at some point, and my mom would be absolutely horrified if they saw how messy I am. Of course, most of them had also been by my apartment at some point or another, so they shouldn't be shocked that I'm not exactly Martha Stewart.

Bobby had already done the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, he was so handy to have around, so it didn't take me long. I figured I'd help Lester shower when Bobby was back with the supplies, and then he could hang out on the couch while I changed the sheets. So I tiptoed into the bedroom to see if I could figure out where the extra sheets were.

I was very slowly looking through drawers, so I jumped when I heard Lester's voice. "Whatcha looking for?"

I took a quick breath to calm my racing heart. "Extra sheets. I figured I could change them the next time you're up so you'll have a nice clean bed once you've had a shower."

"They were in a basket in the closet," he said. I flashed him a quick grin and walked into the closet to investigate. I was surprised at the number of things hanging or folded in the closet that looked to be my size.

"Hey Les, where'd all these clothes for me come from?" I asked.

There was a brief silence, and I shrugged, figuring he'd fallen back asleep. "I wanted to have some stuff for you for when stayed over again," Les finally admitted. "I know it was stupid, but I hoped you'd see how much I care if I had stuff here for you."

I blinked back the tears. I walked out of the room and across to where a pink-cheeked Lester lay on the bed. He wouldn't meet my eyes so I solved the problem by simply laying the hottest kiss I could manage on him.

By the time I pulled away, we were both breathing heavily and his good hand was fisted in my hair, holding my mouth against his.

"What was that for?" he gasped. I was pleased to note that his breathing was as ragged as mine.

"For not giving up on me even though I freaked out and acted like a baby in Las Vegas," I told him as I settled myself into his arm.

We both spent a few seconds catching our breath. "It's not stupid," I told him softly. "It's incredibly sweet and thoughtful. Thank you."

"If I'd have known buying you clothes would get that response, I'd have bought out Macy's months ago!" he joked.

I smacked his abs lightly where my hand was resting over his belly button. "Stop it!"

I felt him kiss my forehead. "So what do I get if I take you on a shopping spree to Victoria's Secret?"

"Les!"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Stop being so silly! You know I love it when you joke around with me, but right now, I need you to be serious," I told him, trying to keep the smile off my face.

He sighed. "If you insist."

I nodded against his uninjured shoulder. "I insist."

My fingers were tracing the ridges and bulges of his abs. "So why didn't you give up when I acted like such a wimp?" I asked curiously.

"Stephanie, you aren't a wimp. You're one of the strongest women I've ever met. When bad shit happens, you find a way to keep going. You were scared. I understand that. You'd been through a lot of shit with Ranger and Morelli and your ex. And you didn't even know that I thought of you like that, you just thought of me as your buddy. So I get why you freaked out. I just hoped that if I was patient and showed you how I felt, you might eventually give me a chance," he said in between a few scattered kisses on my hair.

I let that sink in for a minute as I kept stroking his abs. It was soothing, like petting a cat. The man really was part cat, I was sure of it. Thankfully he wasn't as furry as a cat, but stoking his belly was relaxing me.

"I don't really understand why you love me," I whispered, "but I'm glad you do."

"Do you remember when I got the terrible sunburn, not too long after we first met? I'd gone out with some of the guys to the beach, and we ended up playing volleyball for hours?" he asked as he stroked the small of my back.

I had to think about it for a minute. "Vaguely."

"I'm not as dark skinned as most of the other guys I was with, and I burned a hell of a lot more than they did. They thought it was hilarious and would come up and smack me on the back where it was the worst. Bunch of punks. I ran into you at Vinnie's the next day, and you saw me wince a little when one of them hit me. You came over to ask me what was wrong, and I told you I had a little sunburn. You asked to come by your apartment when I was off duty later, and I figured you needed help or had a new stalker or something. But you were waiting with a bottle of aloe gel and some girly lotion stuff that you put on my burns. We ordered pizza and watched action movies half the night and you kept rubbing that stuff on my back and chest and everywhere it hurt," he reminded me.

"Yeah, I remember now. What about it?"

"That's when I fell in love with you."

"Wh-what?" I was flabbergasted.

I could hear the grin in his voice. "Most women, hell, most people, are intimidated by us. We cultivate that image in our business. But most women only want to be around us because we spend so much time working out or because we're all pretty well off. But you didn't give a shit about that. You were just being nice because I was hurting. I heard later that you'd canceled a date with Joe to rub goo all over my burns. You'd only met me a couple of times, but you canceled plans because you wanted to help me. You weren't trying to get into my pants, not that I would have complained, and you weren't after my money. You just wanted me to feel better. And I heard you ripped Bobby a new one for hitting me on my burns rather than being a good friend and helping me. I think that's when he decided to adopt you. We'd all rather be on your good side than your bad side!"

"Hell, Les, that was years ago!"

He sighed. "I know. But you had that weird thing going on with Morelli and Ranger, and I didn't think I'd have a chance with you. So I settled for being your friend, hanging out with you when I could. I figured it was better to be in your life a little than to tell you how I felt and then you never want to see me again. But after Ranger left and you told me you two weren't dating and that you were moving on, well, that was my chance and I wasn't about to blow it."

"Oh. My. God!" I whispered. I felt his chest shake slightly as he chuckled.

"You're not Mary Sunshine, but I'd get tired of that shit fast. You've seen bad stuff in life but you haven't let it make you jaded. You're there for your friends, no matter what. You barely knew Lula when the shit with Ramirez went down, but you were at the hospital every day. You had just met me, but you dropped everything when I was burned. You probably had to listen to weeks of shit from you mom and the biddies in the 'Burg when you let yourself get kidnapped to find Julie, not to mention the fact that Scrog was unbalanced and had gone completely wacko. It was incredibly dangerous for you and none of us would have blamed you in the slightest if you'd said no. But you didn't even blink. You just asked what to do. I don't know how any man in the world could resist falling for you, Beautiful," he said softly.

I just blinked, my brain going at warp speed. "Well, hell, Les, I don't know what to say!"

"Well write it down on the calendar as the day I left Stephanie Plum speechless!" he joked.

I grinned. "I just still can't believe that you want to be with me. You could have, hell you probably have had!, any woman on the planet!"

"Baby, I won't lie. I was a player. I was with a lot of women. But you're special and you're the only one I want. I can't change my past but I can promise that I will never cheat on you."

"I trust you. I don't trust all the other women out there who think you're sexy!" I retorted.

He chuckled. "Last time I checked, I would still need to be in on the decision making process. And I will never do that to you. One, I love you too much. Two, I'm not dumb enough to risk losing you. And three, the guys would kill me if I hurt you. I've already been warned by half a dozen guys that if I hurt you, I get hurt."

I burst out laughing. "Are you for real?" I asked.

"Check my text messages."

I grinned and sat up. I found his phone on the bedside table and pulled up his messages.

_Happy for you and bombshell. But you hurt her and I'll make you cry for your mommy. _From Cal.

_Why the hell did she pick you when she could have had me? Fucker! Be good to her or I'll kick your ass. _From Binkie.

_Lucky son of a bitch! We're all watching, you better treat her right._ From Zero.

_Damn, man! Don't fuck this up._ From Woody.

I was grinning at my overprotective big brothers. Lester grinned at me. "Tank and Bobby delivered their threats in person."

"Does it bother you that they're all threatening you?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nah. I'm glad they're all watching out for you, even if it involves kicking my ass if I make you cry. Just please don't ever cry in front of them or they'll shoot first and ask questions later!"

I laughed. "I'll try to keep that in mind."

"Please do!"

I put his phone back down next to the bed and resumed what was now my place curled against his side.

"I never knew," I whispered.

His arm tightened around me. "I know. I always kept it light and funny around you. I didn't want you to know. I knew you didn't feel the same way, and the last thing I wanted was for you to be uncomfortable around me. Or, God forbid, for you to pity me. Bobby suspected and I wouldn't put it past him for Ranger to have had an inkling, but I tried to hide it."

"All I ever heard about you were your conquests."

He shrugged slightly. "I've already admitted that I was a player. I was just looking for the right girl. But once I met you, you were with other guys. So I kept going out hoping I'd meet someone else who could make my heart race like you did. It was doomed to failure, but it was better than sitting around my apartment moping all the time. You have to remember, I thought you were dating my cousin and I didn't want to come between you."

"I can't believe you just didn't forget about me years ago, or decide I was too much trouble after my freak out in Vegas," I said.

"I may have hid it better than you did, but I freaked out that morning in Vegas too, Beautiful. I guess once I got drunk, my feelings came out and I dragged you to the closest wedding chapel thinking it would make it official. It kind of backfired on me when I saw you practically pass out from panic. God, that nearly ripped my heart out! But you were shocked but not completely pissed off or appalled when I told you how I felt, so that gave me a little hope that maybe, just maybe, I could make you fall in love with me too," he told me as his free hand drew little designs on my back.

I kissed the expanse of honey chest in front of me. "You did. What I realized when I was freaking out thinking you were dying when Bobby called to say you'd been shot in the chest was that I've been falling for you bit by bit for years. I never really thought about you like that because I had no idea you even thought of me as anything other than a little sister, but you were always there. You'd send me funny emails and texts on bad days and show up to give me a hug on really bad days. And then once Ranger was gone, you were around more. And given how he left, I figured it wasn't because he ordered you to!"

"God, no, Beautiful! He never ordered any of us to be around you unless you had a stalker or need help with a take down. All the rest of the time when we wanted to hang out with you, it was just because we like hanging out with you," Les assured me. The fact that his hand was creeping from my waist towards my ass helped to convince me of the fact.

I sat up a bit to shoot him a look as I moved his hand back north. "Keep it PG, Santos," I warned.

He shot me the crooked grin that made me smile. And want to jump his bones. Too bad some of them were broken and I couldn't. "Bobby promised dire retribution if we were naughty," I reminded him.

The look he shot me should have set my hair on fire. "I can take him."

"With a busted shoulder?"

He thought about it for a second. "Possibly."

I grinned. "By your own admissions, you've waited years. What's a few more days or weeks going to hurt?"

He kissed my forehead. "Oh it hurts alright."

I chuckled. "I'm with you, if it makes you feel any better. You're sexy as hell! So I'm a little on edge too," I admitted to his chest. No way could I look him in the eye while I said that.

He groaned. "God, Beautiful! Now I'm more than a little on edge!"

My eyes were drawn to the tent being pitched in the bed and I had to wrap my arm more firmly around his waist to keep from reaching out and touching it. That would definitely not help either of us with our little problem!

"Sorry!"

He muttered softly in Spanish for a minute. "Soon," he finally muttered. "Damn soon. Screw my shoulder, other parts of me will give up for good, and I'd rather keep those parts in good working order!"

I giggled at his aggrieved tone.

"Oh, I hope it doesn't give up! I have such plans!"

That caught his attention. "Want to tell me about those plans, Beautiful?" he growled.

"Nope. I always preferred show to tell."

He cursed. I giggled.

"The minute the doctor gives us approval, I'm putting this house on lock down. No one in or out for a week, at least," he growled against my hair.

"A week, huh?"

"At least."

"Something to look forward to, then," I sighed. I was already looking forward to it. Now that I'd realized how I felt about him, and how he felt about me, I was more than a little eager to get on with it.

I only got a groan as a response.

"I hope Bobby gets back soon," I said.

"Why?" Les asked.

"So I can give you a shower," I told him.

"Beautiful, having you naked in the shower with me isn't going to make this problem go away. It's only going to make it worse!"

"Let me rephrase. So I can give you a cold shower."

"I think I'm past even that point!" he exclaimed with a naughty grin as he kissed my nose.

"I have a suggestion," I said suddenly.

"Does it involve the creative use of the shower massager?" he asked as he nuzzled my cheek.

I laughed. "No. Since we can't do anything right now, how about we just take sex completely off the table and just make out like a couple of teenagers?"

I got a cocky grin in reply. "I don't know what you did as a teenager, but sex was definitely on the table!"

I rolled my eyes. I figured everyone had heard about the Tasty Pastry debacle when I was sixteen.

"The only other option is that I sleep in a guest room if you can't keep your hands to yourself! I'm not going to risk you hurting yourself just for instant gratification," I told him with a huff.

"Easy, Beautiful. Alright, I'll try. But I can't promise that I won't want to do more than just making out. Hell, I can promise you that I'll _want_ to do more, but I'll try not to pressure you for more."

I grinned at his chagrined tone. "You can promise that, huh?" I asked in a teasing tone.

"Hell yes! I thought you were damn cute from the first time I met you at that redecorating job, but I've wanted you like crazy since you rubbed goo all over me. So I've got several years worth of repressed desire stored up here, Beautiful," he said in a sultry drawl that got my hormones tap dancing. "Plus it's been a damn long eight months for me waiting and hoping you'd give us a shot."

"Eight months?" I asked in confusion.

"As soon as you told me you were looking for someone new, I wasn't willing to risk the possibility of something with you for a fling," he admitted somewhat sheepishly. "So it's been a time."

I buried my head against his shoulder. "You're still doing better than me, then."

"How so?" he asked lazily. "Ranger's only been gone eight months."

"I broke up with Joe over a year ago," I told him.

"Wait, you're telling me that you and Ranger weren't sleeping together?" he asked. "He was at your apartment so much that I just assumed," he stammered.

"No, we weren't. Well, just sleeping. No sex. Okay, sex one time," I stuttered. This was freaking hard to explain.

"You have to explain that one to me, Beautiful," he said in a very confused tone.

I sighed and told him about the DeChooch deal but that we were only together physically that one time. He'd stay over and cuddle but it never went beyond that after the one time.

By the time I was done, Lester was almost vibrating in rage. "He did WHAT?" he yelled. "Fucking son of a bitch!"

He cursed under his breath for another few moments while I tried to calm him down. He finally got himself mostly under control. "I'm going to kill him," he said in a deadly calm voice that sent a shiver up my spine.

I shook my head. "No, you won't. I'm trying to be honest with you, but that happened before we got together. Unless you want me to kill all the girls you ever slept with, you can't get pissed about my past either."

"I never coerced a woman into sleeping with me," he said adamantly. "I have to at least kick his ass for that."

I sighed. I couldn't let Ranger shoulder all the blame here, it's not like he'd assaulted me. I might have been anxious and nervous, but in the end, I had consented. "If I'd been adamantly opposed, I could have found a way out of it," I told a still pissed Lester. "He didn't force me into anything. But him sending me back to Joe the next morning should have been a sign to stop with all the weird shit with Ranger."

I thought about that for a minute. "But if that had happened, probably I wouldn't have stayed friends with you guys and we wouldn't be here right now. You'd have your 'flavor of the week' cuddled up to you instead."

He shot me an irate look. "No woman other than you and ones I'm related to have ever been to my home, baby. So no 'flavor of the week' would be here!"

"Really? I'm the only non-relative girl to have been here?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

I felt his shrug slightly. "I was never serious about any other woman and I didn't want them to get the wrong idea. I may have been a player, but I was honest about it. I wasn't really looking for a relationship, I figured I'd know it when I met the right woman. And I did."

Aww, how sweet. I stretched up slightly to kiss his neck. "You really are an amazing man, you know that?"

He was conspicuously silent. For all that he was a jokester and the most talkative of the Merry Men, he had his quiet moments too.

I decided we'd both had enough talking about emotions. I knew I was definitely done with it! "So about that making out suggestion," I said as I shifted myself up a little to be eye to eye, and more importantly, lip to lip, with Les.

He grinned wickedly and his eyes started to darken to emerald green. "What about it?" he asked huskily.

"What do you think?" I said with my lips just a millimeter from his.

I didn't get a verbal answer, but the movement of his lips against mine was sufficient response.

_**Author's note: **__So this was a little more emotional discussion. What did you think?_


	23. Chapter 23

_**Chapter 23**_

I don't know how long we spent just kissing. Minutes, hours, or possibly days. I'm not sure. There was no end destination so I could just enjoy the feel of his lips against mine, and revel in the languid movement of his tongue as he explored every inch of my mouth. I happily returned the favor, keeping the kiss gentle and soft despite growing urges, ahem, to do more.

"I told you two no sex!" Bobby exclaimed, pulling us out make out session.

I flopped over to my back with a groan of disappointment that we had to stop.

"Man, you gotta go back to PA school if you think that was sex," Les said with his voice only slightly shaky. I didn't think mine would even work. "Or you gotta get laid to refresh your memory," he added with a smirk.

"Then what the hell was that?" Bobby asked.

"Making out," Les replied. "My lips still work just fine."

Bobby let out an aggravated sigh. "You think you can keep it limited to just making out?" he asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah. Mostly 'cause she won't let it go any further. I've tried."

At that, Bobby had to laugh. Say what you will about Lester Santos, but he was honest.

"So how long until we can get this show on the road?" Lester asked.

Bobby frowned at him. "Not until you can take a deep breath without hurting. At least a week or two, man."

Les groaned. Personally, I was with him. "I'll have lost my mind by then," he swore.

"Suck it up, man," Bobby told him. "Don't get shot next time."

I snorted back a laugh and Les glared at me. "Sorry," I murmured. He squeezed my hand and I knew I was forgiven.

"I'll let you guys chat, then," I said as I rolled off the bed and straightened my jammies.

"You can stay, Beautiful," Les said.

I just smiled at him. "He's got that doctor look on his face," I said as I jerked my chin towards Bobby. "So he probably wants to ask you very personal and embarrassing questions about your pee."

Both Bobby and Les chuckled as I made my escape. But I noticed that Bobby didn't disagree. I snagged Les's laptop on my way out of the bedroom, figuring I could check my email and do a little research on shattered collarbones. I might as well know what kind of recovery Les was facing.

Ten or so minutes later, Les and Bobby ambled out.

"Beautiful, you ready to naked and wet?" Les asked with a grin and a wink.

Bobby groaned. "For the love of God, I don't want to hear about that!"

I giggled at Bobby's aggrieved sigh. "Shower time?"

"Shower time," Les confirmed with a grin.

I stood up and stretched. "Where's the stuff, Bobby?" I asked. He walked into the kitchen, and I followed him. He handed me a box of supplies sitting on the table and then slipped out the front door. I was in the bedroom putting the suture protection strips over Les's wounds when Bobby walked in with a white plastic and steel chair. I assumed it was the shower chair, and figured I was right when Bobby went into the bathroom and then came out empty handed.

Bobby carefully maneuvered Les out of the sling. Then I helped Les disrobe before shucking my own clothes. I blushed tomato red at his appreciative wolf whistle as he pulled me to him for a quick kiss before mercifully letting me go so I could get the water adjusted to a comfortable level. Les was hot on my heels as he stepped into the big tile shower with me.

"Careful," I murmured as I slipped around him so he could feel the blast of the water.

He groaned and braced himself against the wall with his good arm. I studied the flexing muscles of his broad shoulders, back and butt. It was a lovely picture and I felt like I'd ace any exam on the backside of his body.

After a minute just standing under the water, he stood up and reached for the bottle of shower gel. He realized his dilemma a moment later. He couldn't hold the bottle of shower gel and the shower scrubby at the same time.

I gently took the gel from his hand and squirted a generous amount on the shower scrubby, working it into a rich lather before swirling it against his back. He groaned again and leaned closer to me so I could scrub him harder. My own giant kitty cat. Hmm, perhaps he's a Thundercat? I loved that cartoon when I was a kid.

I scrubbed his back and arms, or at least the areas not covered by the splint, and then squatted down so I could wash his legs and rear. I spent a lot of time making sure his butt was well washed. And I thoroughly enjoyed every second of watching his glutes clench every time I rubbed the scrubby over his tight ass.

I stood back up and slipped in front of him so I could get his front. I hope he's got a big hot water heater, 'cause it might take me a while to get him completely clean. Such a dirty boy. I planned to spend quite a lot of time on his chest, abs and other interesting regions of his anatomy.

I couldn't resist pressing a gentle kiss to his chest near his war wounds. The sutures looked painful under the clear plastic shield.

I added more shower gel to the scrubby and then I had a lovely time washing all of the ridges and ripples of his chest and abs. And I'd been right at the hospital, his abs were definitely very yummy up close.

He squeaked slightly when I rubbed the shower scubby over his sides. I pressed more firmly so it wouldn't tickle and scrubbed his nonexistent love handles.

I surprised him when I gently grasped little Les, who wasn't so little any more and was growing by the minute, and cleaned his happy place. I had to resist the urge to lean forward and give him a quick swipe with my tongue. Because little Les was not as exposed to the sun as some other parts of his body, the skin there was a lighter honey tone that looked absolutely delicious. I resisted, mostly because I didn't think it would be on Bobby's list of approved activities.

Les groaned, a low sound from deep in his chest, and had to brace himself against the shower wall again. "Stephanie!"

I paused in my activities. "Yeah?" I queried with a grin.

"Do you know what you're doing to me?" he asked in a husky drawl.

"Giving you a bath?" I replied innocently. Well, as innocently as I could given the current location and occupation of my hands.

"Dios!"

I smirked and resumed bathing him. He groaned again when I very gently released him and washed his quivering thighs and legs. I figured I needed to get him sitting on the shower chair since I could see the muscles in his legs starting to quiver and I really didn't want him to fall on top of me. One, I didn't want him to get hurt. Two, I didn't want to get hurt. And three, I didn't want Bobby to see me naked when he had to come haul Les off of me after I was squished like a bug.

I took and pulled the shower chair to the center of the shower. He tried to resist but I gently pushed him down. He sat down gingerly. He was having a bit of an issue with sitting at the moment. Imagine that.

I put the shower scrubby back and grabbed his shampoo. Les let out a long moan when I started scrubbing his hair gently with my nails.

"Damn it, guys, I told you not to do that!" Bobby screeched over Lester's undulating moans.

"Chill out, Bobby! I'm just washing his hair," I told him through the closed door.

"Oh." There was a pause. "Carry on then."

I laughed and resumed massaging Les's scalp. He moaned again and I leaned in close to his ear. "You were a cat in a previous lifetime, weren't you?" I asked.

He nodded slightly and I saw a grin bloom on his face. "Must have been," he agreed.

"I knew it! You're a ThunderCat!" I told him. He turned to shoot me a confused look over his shoulder.

"Don't you remember the Saturday morning cartoons?" I asked.

He shook his head softly. "Beautiful, we didn't watch TV growing up. My mama sent all of us kids out to play pretty much any the time there was sunshine, and we didn't come in except to go to the bathroom and eat."

Wow, his childhood was very different than mine. Valerie and I were rarely allowed outside without parental supervision. Although with hindsight given the choo-choo incident with Joe, that was probably a wise precaution.

"We'll have to find some videos online," I told him as I rinsed his hair with the handheld shower wand. "Because I'm almost positive you're a ThunderCat."

I hung the shower wand back up and shampooed his hair again. It usually took me two rounds of shampoo to get my hair all squeaky clean if I couldn't shower for a couple of days, and I figured his hair might be similar. He didn't complain. He loved having my hands in his hair. Oh, who am I kidding, he seems to love me having my hands anywhere on him.

I snagged the shower wand again and rinsed his hair before making sure all the soap was gone from the rest of his body. Since I was already soaked and he was sitting in the shower chair, I went ahead and quickly took my own shower. I decided not to shave in front of him, that was a bit past my comfort level, but figured I could jump back in later if the stubble got to be too much.

When I turned off the water and turned back to face him, his eyes were smoldering and little Les was still saluting, if not quite as enthusiastically as before.

I grinned at him and he slowly stood. It only took one step before he was almost on top of me and another half step had us pressed together from chest to knees. Then his lips were on mine and I lost track of the world for a second there. When he finally pulled his talented lips from mine, I was standing on my tiptoes with my breasts pressed against his chest.

I stepped back reluctantly. He was just as reluctant to let me go, as evidenced by his groan of disappointment.

"We gotta get out of here before Bobby sends in the Marines," I said once I could get enough oxygen into my poor deprived lungs.

"Fuck the Marines," Les growled.

I grinned. "Funny. I don't know where I got the idea that it was me you wanted to fuck," I joked as I snagged a towel.

I was suddenly yanked back against Les's wet chest. "Beautiful, being with you would not be fucking," he told me with a serious look on his face. "You would never be mindless sex."

"It was just a joke," I said.

"Just wanted you to know," he replied with a grin.

"Duly noted," I said with only a slight hitch in my voice.

I got us both dried off and dressed in clean clothes. I helped Les into the kitchen and left him with Bobby to eat a late lunch while I put clean sheets on the bed.

When I got back to the kitchen, there was a plate of Ella food waiting on me. I sat down with a grin and attacked my food. What? I had to catch up with the guys, who had started before me.

I finished with a happy sigh and leaned back in my chair. You know, I might ask Ella to adopt me even if my mom didn't disown me. It couldn't hurt to have her on my side since I was sure that at some point, probably sooner than later, I'd screw up something and end up back in the gossip's crosshairs.

Les was looking tired again so I got him settled back in the freshly made bed and convinced him to take a couple more ibuprofen. He pulled me in next to him, and I snuggled down by his side.

I must have fallen asleep too, since the next thing I remember was the security alarm going off. Les woke up with a start and tried to jump up. This did not work well with a broken collarbone and broken ribs and he started cursing in pain as he forced himself to his feet anyway. Then he yanked the bedside drawer open and pulled out a gun.

I rolled off the side of the bed and grabbed a gun too, and then nearly shot poor Bobby as he rushed into the room.

"It's okay!" Bobby shouted. "Brett tripped the alarm when he opened the door to bring Bomber some stuff."

Les sat back down on the side of the bed with a groan, the gun in his lap. I crawled up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "You okay?" I asked.

He didn't answer. I had the feeling he was trying not to puke. I'd jumped up quickly after being hurt before, and it was just an incredibly unpleasant experience.

Bobby squatted down in front of Les. I would not have chosen that position since it put him directly in the line of fire if Les got sick, but he has more experience with sick people than me.

"Santos?" Bobby asked. "How bad?"

"Eight," Les said from between clenched teeth.

Bobby nodded and stood up. He was back less than a minute later with his black medic bag and he pulled out his blood pressure cuff. He wrapped it around Lester's good arm and had it going while he examined the sutures to be sure they hadn't torn out when Les jumped.

"BP's a little high," Bobby announced. "But your sutures look good. I'll give you a shot of painkillers to bring the pain back down."

I had my face resting against the un-injured side of Lester's back. So I could feel the rumbling under my cheek when he responded. "I'll be fine," he said in an unconvincing tone. I had a feeling his protest was just out of habit.

"You have to be hurting like hell," I said. "So please take the drugs. I'll stay right next to you just in case you go slightly nuts. But it'll help with the soreness and nausea."

I looked over his shoulder in time to see Bobby smile grimly. "Listen to her. She's been hurt enough that she's practically a doc by now."

I rolled my eyes at Bobby.

"You two aren't going to leave me alone until I take the damn shot, are you?" Les said with a cranky sigh.

"Nope," I whispered against his back. "But I won't leave you alone once you take it either. I'll stay cuddled up to you."

"Fine," he grumped. "Just don't forget to lock the damn door this time!" he told Bobby.

Bobby looked a little sheepish. It was funny, the security expert had set the alarm but left the door unlocked.

Bobby gave Les the shot in the arm, and then I helped Les lay back down against the pillows.

I tucked the blankets back around us and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Sorry you're hurting," I told him softly.

He snorted. I figured he was sorry he was hurting too.

"Just try to relax now," I said.

"Could you maybe rub my hair again?" he asked hesitantly. "That helped to relax me."

I scooted up and grinned at him. "Sure, ThunderCat!"

He rolled his eyes at my new nickname for him, but soon he was making all kinds of little happy sounds as I dug my fingers and nails into his scalp.

I rubbed his head until I was pretty sure he was asleep again. Then I snuggled back down and curled up next to him.

Bobby shook me gently a while later.

"Wha?" I asked in confusion as I sat up.

"I have to go back to Haywood for a little while," Bobby said. "Hal busted his hand sparring with Zip and I have to go make sure he didn't break anything. Do you want me to have one of the guys come stay with you until I get back or do you think you'll be okay alone?"

I yawned. "We'll be fine. And you don't have to come back, you can stay at your apartment if you'd rather stay at home."

He grinned at me, his teeth a white flash in the otherwise almost dark room. "I'll be back once I fix Hal's hand. And I won't set off the alarm this time."

I smiled and then Bobby was gone.

I curled back against Les but I couldn't go back to sleep. I slipped out of the bed quietly and went to the bathroom before checking out the stuff that Brett had brought for me. I found a novel that I was only halfway through, and went back into the bedroom. I propped myself up on a couple of pillows that Les wasn't using to keep his torso elevated and settled in to figure out how Dirk Pitt would save the world this time.

"Hey," Les said sleepily a bit later. "What's up?"

"Oh, hey," I replied. "Sorry, is the light bothering you?"

He smiled a bit drunkenly at me. "No. Whatcha doing?"

I grinned and showed him the cover. "Reading a Dirk Pitt novel, have to find out how he's going to save the world this time."

"Okay," he said before closing his eyes and going back to sleep. He is so cute sometimes.

I read until Dirk saved the fate of the entire world at the last possible second before the global catastrophe that would wipe out _Homo sapiens_ ensued. Then I was starving so I slipped out of the bed to find a snack.

I was about to head back towards the bedroom with my snack when I felt a kiss on the top of my head as I got the hunk of chocolate cake on a plate.

Les chuckled. "What the hell were you thinking?" I yelled. "You're the one who freaking taught me self defense and you're sneaking up on me?"

He just laughed and leaned in to lick my lips. Guess there was some chocolate left on my lips from my taste test. Just to make sure it was still good, of course.

"I woke up and you were gone. So I went into search and rescue mode, Beautiful," he told me as he kissed me again. "And now I found you."

I turned around to face him. "And now that you found me, what do you plan to do about it?" I asked with a flirtatious smile.

I got a blinding smile. "I don't think you'll let me do what I want," he murmured against my lips as he kissed me. "So I'm going to eat cake with you."

I grinned and handed him the fork. "How are you feeling?" I asked as he took a bite of cake.

He tried to shrug but only half of his shoulders worked so it looked odd. "Hurts like a bitch but I'm okay," he said. "Where's Bobby?"

"Hal hurt his hand, so Bobby's off to check on him. He said he'd be back later once he was done, and that he wouldn't set off the alarm. I figured he'd be back by now, something else must have come up."

Les shook his head slightly. "I'm never letting him live that down," he said. "Unbelievable."

"You want some milk with the cake?" I asked. He nodded so I got up and poured us two glasses of milk. "Maybe it will help your bones to heal."

"I'll take anything I can get."

We shared the rest of the cake before Les wanted to sit up for a while. He said his ass was atrophying lying in the bed all the time. And I love his ass, so I would do whatever I had to do to keep it from going away.

We were curled up together on the couch watching TV when Bobby came in a couple of hours later. Bobby froze when he saw us and then relaxed slightly. Clearly he was surprised to see us both up still this late.

"Hey, Bobby," I said with a grin. "How's it going?"

He sat down in a club chair with an exhausted sigh. "Fine."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire," I retorted. "What's wrong?"

He shrugged. "Got called in to help with a takedown. We were already shorthanded without Ranger, but now with Les out too, there's too much to do and not enough of the core team left standing to handle it," he explained.

Les looked guilt stricken. "Sorry, man."

"Not your fault," Bobby reassured. "You had to fill in for Tank when his ankle was busted. We'll manage. And it's not like you wanted to get shot."

Les glared at Bobby. No, he definitely did not want to be shot. Who did? But there was the one good side, that my fear when I heard that Les was shot had clarified my feelings for me.

It would be great if I could figure out how to have emotional epiphanies without someone being in the ICU, though.

"We're going to have to expand the team for the time being, at least until you're back from physical therapy," Bobby said. "Tank will come over for a while tomorrow if you're up for it, and we'll have an executive meeting, figure out what we're going to do."

"I can get out of here for a little while," I offered. "Stop by the office for a little while."

"You don't have to leave, Beautiful," Les said instantly. "This is your home now too."

I smiled. It still felt weird to think of Les's house as our house, but I was trying. "Thanks. But you guys need to do some business stuff and I'd just be in the way."

"Actually, Bomber," Bobby interrupted, "I think we want to talk to you too. Would you consider coming back to work at RangeMan?"

"No."

"Why not?"

I turned to look at Les. "Does he not know?"

Les shrugged. "I never asked."

"Know what?" Bobby demanded.

I sighed. "When Ranger left, he told Tank to keep you guys away from me."

Bobby looked at Les with his blank face on. "Details," he demanded of Les.

"I wasn't in on the conversation. But Tank said Ranger told him to try to keep us from hanging out with her socially. Obviously, Tank decided not to listen to that and didn't say anything to anyone. Guess he figured that our personal lives were up to us and not Ranger," Les informed him.

I tucked my head into Les's chest, my feelings still hurt that Ranger would try to take away my friends.

"He what?" Bobby roared. "Fucker!"

I shrugged. "So there's no way in hell I'll work for his company after that," I told him. "But thanks."

Les rubbed my back soothingly. "It's not just his company, Beautiful. Me, Bobby and Tank are all co-owners too."

I nodded. I knew this.

"And we're all equal co-owners," Bobby said. "So if the three of us want you there, and we do, then he can just go fuck himself. We can outvote him."

I blinked. "I thought he was the CEO."

"He is. But we all own twenty-five percent. He's the boss of the day-to-day stuff because we agreed to that structure when we started, but we're all equally in on big decisions," Bobby explained.

I shrugged. "Still, it's a no go. But thanks."

Bobby nodded wearily. I kissed Les gently on the cheek and stood up. "Come on, Bobby, let's get you fed so you can go get some sleep."

Bobby stood slowly and followed me into the kitchen. "I can manage, Bomber," he tried to argue.

I pinned him with a glare and pointed at the table. "Sit. You take care of us when we need it, so let me try to take care of you when you need it."

He sighed but sat. He must be really tired. I fixed a plate full of stuff that I knew Bobby liked from all of our previous meals together. Once it was reheated, I slid it in front of Bobby and grabbed him a glass of water.

"You want a Coke or anything else too?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Don't want the caffeine right now, might screw with my sleep. But thanks."

"You're welcome."

We sat in silence as Bobby ate, but it was a comfortable silence. "We finished off the cake, but there's some fruit and stuff if you want something sweet for dessert."

He pushed back his plate. "I'm good, Bomber. I'll check out Les and then crash."

"Okey dokey," I said as I grabbed his plate and cutlery and stacked them in the sink. "Get on with it so you can get to bed."

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to my forehead as we walked into the living room.

"Hey!" Les exclaimed. "Hands and lips off my wife!"

I grinned and even Bobby smiled at that. "She was my kid sister first, so fuck you, man. If you can kiss her, then I can kiss her too."

"You kiss her like I kiss her and I'll kick your ass!" Les retorted with a twinkle in his eye.

Bobby looked horrified and I burst out laughing. "I don't think that's something you should worry about," I told Les. He smirked.

"Just do your doctor thing," I told Bobby. "Then get your ass to bed!"

Bobby grinned at me but I could still see the exhaustion on his face. "Ma'am, yes ma'am!"

"That's more like it! Hop to it," I told him as I pushed him gently towards the couch where Les was waiting.

Bobby checked him over quickly before heading towards the guest room. "I'm getting too old for this shit," he muttered as he turned down the hall to the stairs.

I helped Les to the bedroom, not that he needed much help, but it was an excuse to keep my arms wrapped around him as we walked sideways down the hall. Les didn't want to sleep in his lounge pants again, said they were too hot and confining, so I slid those off and left him in just his emerald green boxers. Yum.

I got ready for bed too and changed into a set of jammies I found in the closet. They were sky blue and silky, with a spaghetti strap tank top and a pair of loose shorts. Les put out enough body heat to melt an iceberg, so I needed cool clothes to sleep next to him.

I could see that my outfit met with his approval when I came back into the bedroom and crawled into bed next to him. "Christ, Beautiful! You're beautiful!"

I snuggled in next to him. "Thanks. You have good taste."

He pressed a kiss to my forehead as I reached out to turn off the lights. "Glad you like them."

"How did you know my size?" I asked.

"I peeked at your clothes while you were in the bathroom one day at your apartment," he told me. "And I checked out your shower to make sure I got the right stuff."

"You're so sweet."

He made a noise of disagreement deep in his chest. He did not want to be known as sweet. "Girls, especially this girl, like sweet," I told him to pre-empt his argument.

He sighed. "Just don't tell any of the guys!" he begged.

I smiled. "Your secret is safe with me. Now go to sleep!"

_**Author's note: **__Thanks for the wonderful reviews! Poor Les, he still can't get no satisfaction, can he? But until his ribs and collar bone heal a bit, the level of exertion required to do those things (or at least to do them __well__) are beyond him right now. _

_And Bobby has to keep seeing them kissing and cuddling, which isn't his cup of tea. But he'll get over it… eventually. But honestly, I have such a good time writing his horrified reaction that he'll probably continued to have a residual "ick" reaction to seeing his sibling-like friends, just 'cause I roll that way. ;-) _

_But I do hope you enjoy seeing the relationships continue to grow between Steph/Les and Steph/ Bobby. The next chapter is Steph and Connie and Lula._

_So… what do you think happens at the bond's office?_


	24. Chapter 24

_**Chapter 24**_

I woke up draped half over Les again the next morning. He wasn't complaining.

"Morning, Sleeping Beautiful," he told me once I finally opened my eyes. Then he kissed me. Yep, it was a good morning so far.

We just kissed and cuddled for a while. I could feel little Les poking me in the stomach, but true to his word, Les didn't try to pressure me into doing more. I think he accepted the fact that it wasn't going to happen until the doctor cleared him for aerobic activities.

I finally had to pull myself away from his lovely lips lest I turn the bed into a waterbed. When I came out, Les had pulled himself into a sitting position, so I hurried to stuff pillows behind him to help support him.

I yawned and stretched and then grinned as Les's eyes shifted from my face to my breasts. "How are you feeling?" I asked as I sat on the bed across from Les.

"Muscles are getting a little tight since I can't flex them much but it's not too painful. Just annoying."

"Anything I can do?" I asked.

He shook his head no. "Not much I can do until I'm cleared for physical therapy. It's just aggravating."

"Sorry."

"Beats the alternative." That's for damn sure!

Les got up and managed to go to the bathroom and do everything by himself, even shaving and brushing his teeth and hair. He was getting better at the one-armed thing. I'd be nuts by now, he was handling it better than I would.

I wrapped myself in Les's big robe and tiptoed into the living room just in case Bobby was still asleep. He wasn't, he was already working on his laptop with his feet up on the coffee table.

"Morning, Bobby," I said as I headed towards the coffee maker. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Morning, Bomber. Better, just needed some sleep," he replied over the tap-tap-tap of the keyboard. "How's Les?"

"Seems fine. He's in the bathroom getting shaved and all that stuff."

"I'll check on him in a minute then," Bobby said. "Then Tank said he'd bring breakfast if we could meet once you and Les were awake."

I shrugged as I took my first sip of coffee. God bless whoever invented coffee makers with timers! "Works for me. I can head to the bond's office and catch up with Connie and Lula. And I should probably go by and get some stuff from my apartment. So I'll be out of your hair."

Bobby just nodded and kept typing. So I poured a cup of coffee for Les and headed back into the bedroom.

Les was standing there trying to wrestle himself into a pair of sweat pants. I rushed to help him and he grinned at me in the mirror. "Usually I'd be more excited to have you help me out of my pants, Beautiful."

I grinned at him and shook my head. "I can cut off the sleeve of a shirt if you want a shirt for your meeting. Tank's bringing breakfast for you guys."

He did his one armed shrug. "Doesn't matter to me. They've all seen me without a shirt before."

I had a slight hot flash at the idea of a bunch of shirtless Merry Men. Les just smirked at my momentary distraction. "I'll go by the big and tall store at the outlet mall while I'm out today," I told him. "Buy you a couple of massive shirts that we can wrestle you into and out of easily."

He pulled me to him for a quick but hot kiss. I so could not wait until he was cleared for other activities.

He started to chuckle. "Me too, Beautiful, me too," he whispered into my ear. Oh crap, I said that out loud. Guess my internal filter flips off when I'm tired or worked up over something. Damn.

I pushed a chuckling Lester towards the door before heading towards the bathroom. I took a shower, tamed the hair and added a couple of coats of mascara for courage. I was going to announce to the world that Les and I were together today, even if I didn't plan to announce that we were married, and I needed to be prepared for the onslaught that would ensue. So mascara was most definitely required.

I got dressed in my favorite jeans, some kick ass high heeled boots and a blue blouse that brought out my eyes. I figured I needed every boost I could get.

Finally, I could delay no longer, so I headed out to say goodbye to the men in black and head out to face the Inquisition.

"You look beautiful, Beautiful," Les said as I walked in to find him, Bobby and Tank deep in discussion around the kitchen table.

I smiled, gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed out the door to the garage where my current POS had magically appeared yesterday.

I stopped by Tasty Pastry to get a big box of donuts before heading to the bond's office. I knew I'd need the sugar bombs to detract attention from my new living situation.

"White girl!" Lula exclaimed as I came in the door. "We were just talking about you!"

Oh shit.

"Where you been?" Lula continued as she took the box of donuts out of my hands and helped herself to a jelly filled.

"You probably heard that Lester got shot, right? So I've been hanging out with him helping while his arm and chest heal," I said, hoping against hope that they would leave it at that.

Connie took a donut and then pointed a bright red tipped finger at me. "You have to explain more than that. I heard from Mrs. Guzman at the coffee shop this morning that she heard that you're living with him now and that you told everyone at the hospital that you were married."

Oh fuck, I was afraid of this. The grapevine was in full swing already.

I groaned. "I'm staying with him to help," I tried. "His collarbone was shattered and he had some pretty bad damage done to his chest from the bullet."

Lula just pinned me with an obsidian gaze. "Yeah. And?"

"And he needs help with some stuff. So I'm helping him."

"You two dating now?" Connie asked as she took a second donut. I'm pretty sure Lula was on her third. If I wanted one of the donuts I'd paid for, I'd better jump in now!

I snagged a Boston crème. "Yeah."

"WHAT?" Lula shrieked. "You never said nothing! I thought we was friends."

"You knew we were hanging out a lot. It just grew from that. Getting the call that he'd been shot just helped me to realize how much I cared about it," I told them.

Lula still looked hurt. "Other than the guys who've been helping Les with going to the bathroom and stuff, you're the first ones we've told," I tried to reassure her. "Just please keep your mouths shut until I can talk to my mom and grandma. Please." I wasn't above begging.

"What about the whole being married rumor?" Connie asked.

I sighed. Decision time. If I told them, Les and I would have to talk to my family today. If I didn't, I'd be in deep shit when the word eventually got out and they realized that I lied to them. Either way, I was totally screwed.

Hello, rock. Hello, hard place.

"You two have to swear on your souls that you won't say anything about what I'm going to tell you. If you tell anybody, I swear to God that I will have one of the guys ship you to a third-world country with no shoes and no makeup." It was the most deadly threat I could come up with for those two.

They looked at each other with wide eyes before they both nodded.

I took a deep breath. "It's true."

There was a solid two minutes of screaming, ranting and then, finally, hugging.

"Explain this shit, girl!" Lula demanded.

So I explained about Las Vegas and taking the time to decide whether we wanted to be married or get an annulment or divorce. They were both completely flabbergasted and pissed that I hadn't told them about it earlier.

I tried to explain. "I never expected to get married again, you know? So I freaked out to wake up married to Les. I mean, I'd never really thought of him like that. I thought we were just friends, best friends. But then he admits that he's had feelings for me for a while, and the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that I had feelings for him too. But you know me, I'm not exactly an open with my feelings kind of girl, so it took me a while to figure it all out."

"Sounds like it took him getting shot," Connie pointed out astutely.

I hung my head. Yeah, I was pretty slow to figure it out. "Yeah."

"So what you gonna do now?" Lula asked.

I shrugged. "I'd hoped that word hadn't gotten out yet, that we could at least tell our families before the gossip got out."

Connie shook her head at my stupidity. "Sorry, hon, no such luck. If I've heard the rumors, you know your mom and grandma will hear them soon too, if they haven't already."

I know. Shit. I'm so screwed.

"I guess I go home and talk to Les about it and we figure out something. It was hugely painful for him to get home from the hospital the other day and I doubt he's up for driving around New Jersey to inform our parents just yet," I said. I had no other ideas.

"So how's Mr. Latin Lover in bed?" Lula wanted to know. I blushed bright red and refused to answer. It entertained her immensely and took my mind off my mom and grandma for a minute.

"He's either that good or that bad," Lula said in a loud stage whisper to Connie. "But if she's staying married to him, I'm betting he's that good."

I kept my mouth shut. I had my suspicions, but I wasn't about to advertise to all and sundry that we hadn't gotten that far in our relationship yet.

Connie and Lula had fun with good-natured speculation about my sex life for a few minutes before Lula turned serious again. "What about Batman? What you going to do when he get back?"

I sighed and rubbed my head where a headache was building. "He told me before he left that I was getting too attached to him and to move on. He probably didn't mean for me to do that with Les, but a girl can't help who she loves, I guess. So he'll have to deal with it."

"You still love him?" Lula asked.

I shook my head. "You can't love someone you don't know. And even after three years of flirty shit, I still know next to nothing about him. But Les is different, even if they are a lot alike in a lot of ways. They're also cousins, did you know that? But Les tells me stuff, includes me in his life. He wants me to know him, he wants us to talk about stuff together. And do you know how rare that's been in my life lately?"

"So no more kissing in the alley with Batman?" Lula pressed.

I shook my head definitely. "No."

My cell phone rang at that point and I practically dove off the cheap vinyl couch to find it. Any distraction was a good distraction at this point.

Oh fuck, I spoke too soon. It was my mom. I stared at the phone without answering until it went to voicemail. It began ringing again almost instantly. Mom again. Oh shit, word was out, and I was about to be cut off from dessert for the rest of my life.

"Your mom?" Connie asked. "I get that look on my face when my mom calls."

I nodded. The phone rang again and the three of us just sat around and looked at my cell phone like it was going to jump up and bite us. I had a feeling it would actually bite me in the ass.

This time, mom left a message. I held up one finger at the girls and checked it.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum!" my mom yelled into the phone. "I heard from Mrs. Gilmore that you got married! To one of those thugs! You will be at dinner tonight at six sharp, no excuses. And you better not be married! How could you do this to me, your own mother? Why me?"

I could hear her muttering for another moment or two before she finally hung up the phone. I bet she'd be ironing the toilet paper this afternoon. Shit.

"She heard?" Lula asked. I just nodded in misery.

"So what are you going to do?" Connie asked.

"Move to Alaska?" I joked weakly. I didn't know what I was going to do yet. I think that's something I'll have to figure out with Les. He drug my ass to Las Vegas and got me in this mess, it was only fair he help get me out.

"I guess I'll go pack some stuff at my apartment," I finally said. "Then head back home and talk to Les about it. You have any files for me?" I asked Connie.

She shook her head no. "Vinnie's barely here anymore for the last couple of days. Something's going on with Lucille, but he hasn't said what yet. He'll get in late and only be here an hour or two before she'll call and he'll have to head back home for the day. So he's not been writing any new bonds so no one's jumping. Sorry."

I shrugged. "If there's going to be a slow time, now's probably the best time so I can hang out with Les while he's recovering. Just let me know if I get any files, okay?" I asked. She nodded.

"You want some company while you pack?" Lula asked quietly. "It's okay if you don't."

Actually, I could use some company to distract me from what I was sure would soon be my incredible popularity as my cell phone exploded from calls from the curious. I nodded. Connie found me a couple of big boxes in the storage room, so at least I wouldn't have to stop at the grocery store now.

"Remember, not a word," I told Connie as we left. "Please."

She nodded sympathetically. "I promise."

Lula rode with me in my POS to my apartment. I'd have to drive back by the office to get back to Les's, our, house so I'd just drop her back off then.

"You okay?" she asked after my phone rang for about the twentieth time in as many minutes.

I shrugged. "I hate being the center of gossip," I told her. She patted my hand sympathetically and went back to boxing up all of my lingerie. It only took the two of us an hour to get most of my clothes into boxes, suitcases and trash bags. I shoved what remained of my hair stuff and makeup into a box and called it done. Lula helped me to load everything into my backseat and trunk.

As we neared the bond's office, Lula reached over and patted my knee. "It'll be okay, Steph," she said quietly. "Big deal right now but it will all settle down eventually. You'll see."

I blinked back the tears. I hadn't expected Connie and Lula to be so understanding. Frankly, I'd expected to get my fingernails ripped off to make me talk. Sometimes it's good to underestimate your friends.

"You need anything, you call me," Lula said as I dropped her off. "To talk, for me to pop a cap up yo mama's ass for being crazy, whatever. You call me."

I had to smile. "I will. Thanks."

She just nodded and closed the door. I drove back to the house on autopilot. I didn't quite know how to handle everything yet. I parked in the garage and decided I could get my stuff later.

_**Author's note: **__So the word is out! Cue Darth Vader's theme for the foreboding music. _

_Steph was stuck in an awkward situation here. Connie and Lula had heard the rumors and would be upset if she lied and said it was just a rumor, but she wanted to tell their families first. What's a girl to do? But in the end, she went with being honest. Thankfully, the girls surprised her with their understanding._

_So what do you think is going to happen next?_

_Please review!_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Chapter 25**_

I walked in to find Les alone on the rented couch. "Hey, Beautiful," he said with a crooked grin when I walked in.

His smile dropped off once he saw my face. "Come here. What's wrong?" he asked as he held out his good arm. I crawled into his lap and leaned against the uninjured side of his chest. He wrapped his arm tightly around me and kissed my head. "Steph, baby, what's wrong?"

"They know," I mumbled against his warm chest.

"Who knows what?" he asked.

"Everybody knows we're married," I told him. "My mom's already left me death threats if I'm not at dinner tonight and that I better not be married to a thug."

I shuddered and tried valiantly if unsuccessfully to hold back the tears. "Why can't people just stay out of my business?" I asked rhetorically. "Why does everyone have to talk about me behind my back?"

He rubbed my back sympathetically. "I'm sorry."

I shrugged. I knew he was. "I had to tell Connie and Lula since they'd already heard. They both promised to keep it to themselves for right now, and I actually believe they will. I threatened them with third-world exile with no shoes or makeup if they told anybody anything."

That made him laugh and I loved the feel of his chest rumbling under my cheek. "I can make that happen," he reassured me.

I just sat against him for a long time, absorbing some of his strength.

"So how do you want to handle this?" he asked after a long time.

I tried to crawl off his lap, figuring he was about to lose all feeling in his legs, but he simply tightened his arm around me. "Stay," he asked.

"I don't know. Are you able to handle a Plum dinner"

He sucked in a breath. "I can manage."

I lifted my head to look at him. I was humbled by the love in his beautiful green eyes. "It was awful getting you home and you've not been home long. So tell me truth, can you really handle the drive there and back and the crazy inquisition?"

His expression hardened slightly. "I can handle anything for you."

I shot him a disbelieving look. "I'm not going to ask you to go through that kind of pain. So how about we just move? Ever though about expanding RangeMan to other states? Hell, other countries?"

He smiled and kissed me gently. "Actually, yeah. But I can take some of those milder painkillers to handle the drive there and back, and Bobby can be waiting here if I need something stronger. But I'm not letting you face the firing squad by yourself and that's not negotiable."

"How about we ask Bobby? If he says you can handle it without risking damage, we'll discuss it. But if he says no, you stay here," I tried.

He shook his head. "If you go, I go."

I narrowed my eyes at him and he kissed my nose. "I'm serious, Beautiful. I'm not going to sit here and let you have to deal with all the bullshit by yourself. So I'm going."

I sighed and leaned back against him, secretly thrilled that I wouldn't have to deal with my mom by myself. I didn't wish any pain on Les, but I didn't think I could handle the whole 'you're such a disappointment!' speech from my mom by myself. My emotions were still a little too close to the surface from almost losing Les and then realizing that I wanted to be married to this amazing man.

"Thanks," I told him gently. "Do they make a purple heart for injuries from family dinners?"

I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'll get someone checking on that."

We sat silently for a long time. "Beautiful, I should call my parents. They'll be terribly hurt if we don't tell them when we tell your family."

I nodded. "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing right now. Just hang out here near me in case they want to talk to you," he said as he kissed me softly. "We'll get through this," he promised. I wanted to believe him but I still wasn't convinced.

I nodded and then crawled off his lap. "I'm going to get a Coke. You want one?"

He just nodded as he pulled out his cell phone. I saw him take a deep breath before he hit a speed dial number. I wandered out to give him a moment of privacy with his thoughts and his parents.

I came back in a couple of minutes later with two cans of the soft drink. "So, mama, I called to tell you some good news. You remember me mentioning my friend Stephanie?" he said into the phone.

He waited a few seconds while his mother obviously answered. "We got married," he told her.

I could hear the screech from the other side of the couch. He held the phone away from his ear with a grimace.

"Yes, mama. I'm sorry. We were going to tell you in person, but I broke my arm the other night and I can't travel too far right now. But Steph was with me at the hospital and had to tell them that we were married so she could be in the room with me. Someone spread the word and now the rumors are swirling. So we're going to tell her family tonight and I wanted to tell you too," he said quickly into the phone.

Then he was silent for several more minutes. "No, mama, she's not pregnant. We just got married because we love each other."

More silence. "Yes, ma'am. As soon as my arm can handle the drive, we'll come to see you. Maybe next week, it depends on what the doctor says."

Another pause. "I'll be fine. It's just my arm and a broken rib or two. I'll let you know as soon as the doctor gives me the okay."

More silence. "We haven't talked about having a reception. We'll talk about it and then we can discuss it in person, okay?"

He listened a bit more. "I love you, too. We'll see you soon," he said before disconnecting.

"Well, that went better than I expected," he told me as he took a long drink of his Coke. "She said she'd figured out that I had feelings for you already and she was glad that I found someone to love. She's happy for us, but she would like to meet you as soon as possible."

I nodded. "So you talked about me to your mom, huh?" I teased as I rubbed my hands through his hair.

He nodded with a groan of appreciation. "Only a couple of times, but I guess she figured it out based on that."

I rubbed his hair for a minute. "Should we call Bobby now?"

He nodded and flipped open his cell again. "Yo," he said when Bobby answered. "Word's out and we've been ordered to Steph's mom's for dinner tonight. So Steph wants to be sure that my shoulder can handle it."

There was a pause while I could almost see Bobby thinking about it. "It's gonna hurt you some, man," he finally said. "Just be careful and move slowly and carefully. But I don't see any reason why it would do any permanent damage. Just don't let her granny shoot you!"

"Ha ha, Bobby," I told him. "What can we do to help with the pain?"

"Hey, Bomber, didn't know you were on here too. Have him take two of the mild painkillers about a half-hour before you leave. I'll come over and drive you two over, or I'll have one of the guys come if something comes up here. He might need some help getting in and out of the car. Plus then I can be standing by with some of the heavy duty shit in case he needs it," Bobby said.

"You sure you don't mind?" I asked.

"Nah, it's good. I can catch up on some paperwork in the car while you guys get grilled."

"I'm sure my mom will make enough food for you too," I offered.

There was dead silence for a few seconds. "Hell, no! I'll be perfectly fine in the car," he repeated.

"Wimp," Les told him.

"You can call me all the names you want but I'm still not getting involved in that particular war, amigo," Bobby replied with a smile in his voice.

I had to smile at the banter between the two friends.

"We'll need to leave here by 5:30 to get there on time if we're going slow, so you or whoever will need to be here by about 5:20 to help get him in the car," I said. "And now, I need to head to the mall to buy Les a shirt that's not skintight and won't hurt his ribs. I was so anxious earlier that I forgot about it."

"Hector's checking on a security system out near one of the strip malls," Bobby said, "so I could have him pick up a big shirt while he's there."

I grinned in relief. "That would be great! I figure odds are good I'm going to run into someone I know if I head out again and I'm just not up for it today. So if Hector doesn't mind, I would greatly appreciate it!"

Bobby laughed. "I'll ask but I doubt he'll mind. He can drop it by here and then I'll get there early enough so we can get him dressed before you guys leave. Any particular colors or requests?"

I looked over at Les. "Green button up," I replied. "See if Hector can find something in green."

"Ten-four," Bobby said. "I'll call or text with info later." Then he was gone. He really needed to work on his phone manners. His bedside manner was generally excellent but his phone manners sucked.

"Why green?" Les asked as he ended the call.

"Match your eyes," I told him. "You go get ready for a nap while I call my mom and tell her to expect two for dinner. We're going to need our rest to survive tonight."

Les laughed and squeezed my hand. "I'll stay right here until you're off the phone. Just in case you need me to fake an emergency or something." Hmm, good plan.

I checked my phone and grimaced. I had 24 missed calls and 9 new messages. Shit.

"Plum crazy house," my grandma answered.

"Hey grandma," I said.

"Baby girl! So what's this we hear about you getting yourself knocked up and married to one of those hot bounty hunters?"

I grimaced again. "I'm not knocked up, but can you just tell mom it will be two for dinner tonight?" I asked. "We'll talk about everything else then."

"Sure. But you better be prepared, she's in a state. She's been tippling all day and has been ironing the same towel for the last hour."

Oh shit. "How bad is it?" I asked.

"Only time I've seen her worse was when Valerie called off the wedding to the Klough. She'll probably be passed out under the table by dinner time at this rate," grandma told me.

That could be a relief.

"We'll see you tonight," she said. "I'll let your mother know about you and your hunk."

I looked over at Les. "I got grandma, thank God. Mom's been drinking since first thing this morning and is ironing towels now. People have been calling to say I'm pregnant and that's why you married me. So basically, we're screwed."

He started laughing.

What the hell? "It's not funny!"

"Beautiful, there's no possible way you're pregnant! Even our parents are accusing us of you being knocked up, but we've not even made it to third base yet!"

Put that way, it was kind of funny.

"You'll completely break my grandmother's heart if you tell her we haven't done the nasty yet," I told him through my giggles.

"It'll completely ruin my reputation if anyone finds out about this," he told me as he pulled me against his side. "So let's just keep that part to ourselves!"

"Deal!"

We giggled together for a minute before I helped him to his feet. I really did think we'd both need a nap before being confronted by my mom. I had a feeling she'd be out for blood, and unfortunately, it would be mine.

We napped for a while before I got up and started getting ready. I gave Les another shower, but even he seemed a little anxious. He didn't try to grab at my boobs or ass quite as much as he had yesterday, but I figured the mere thought of my grandma had that effect on men.

Once I got him dried off, he started working on shaving. I went back into the shower to do the same. Once I had my hair wrapped in a towel, I pulled on Les's robe and headed to the garage. I'd picked out a couple of outfits while packing, and they were hanging up in the backseat. I just needed to figure out which one I was wearing so I could do my makeup.

I walked back in to find Les leaning against the pillows on the bed. "So which one?" I asked as I held up the two options.

He considered it for a minute. "I like the blue dress," he said.

Blue dress it is. It had spaghetti straps and a full skirt that came almost to my knees, but it also had a little black shrug jacket and a black belt that made my waist look small. It was a cute dress. He has good taste.

I hung the dress up and headed into the bathroom to do my hair and makeup. Thirty-minutes later, I'd tamed my curls into reasonable submission and had put on enough mascara to keep Revlon in business for a year.

I walked out still in Les's robe and pulled on some sexy underwear. A long wolf whistle was Les's reaction to my lacy undies.

"Whatcha say we skip your parent's and order in?" he asked.

I wish. Oh, how I wish!

I just grinned and pulled on my dress and my favorite pair of black heels.

Bobby showed up while I was getting dressed, and he came into the bedroom with a couple of shirts in his hands. "Looking good there, Bomber," Bobby said appreciatively.

"Thanks," I said as I grabbed the shirts. There was one that was had peridot green and emerald green thin stripes, and I knew it would look awesome on Les. I held it up to his face and grinned. "Tell Hector he did good!"

Bobby gave Les a couple of the painkillers and then I helped him into his new shirt. It was big, but at least I was able to get it on him without hurt his ribs or shoulder. Much. He told me which pair of pants he wanted, big surprise, they were black, and I found them in the big closet. Once we got the shirt tucked into his slacks, it didn't look quite as huge. I was just used to seeing him and the other Merry Men in skintight black, so it was a bit surprising. But it made his green eyes sparkle and he looked even more handsome than usual. And his usual is still pretty freaking spectacular.

I finished getting him dressed and we headed out to the living room. Les had Bobby help him strap on a holster on his right ankle and one under the fabric at the small of his back. I just shook my head. The men in black never went anywhere without a gun. Or two.

Les pulled me into his office and had me open his safe. Once it was open, I pulled out two jewelry boxes from the back. Our wedding rings from Vegas.

I opened them and I was shocked to see an engagement ring with my wedding ring. It was platinum too, but it had a big round diamond flanked by smaller sapphires on either side. "Les?" I asked as he pulled the rings out of the box.

"We may have gone in a different order, but you still deserve a diamond, Beautiful," he told me with a smile. "Do you like it?"

I threw my arms around him. "It's beautiful! I love it!" I sucked in a deep breath. "Don't make me cry!"

He grinned and kissed me gently. Then he slid the wedding band and then the beautiful engagement ring on the ring finger of my left hand. I returned the favor and slid his wedding ring on his hand as well. It felt like this was the time when we were really, truly married, even if the paper said otherwise.

We just stood there for a minute, my head on his chest and his arm around me. "I love you, Beautiful," he whispered. "And I'm glad we're married even if it might surprise a few people."

"I love you, too," I whispered back. "And I'm glad too."

I glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. We had to get going.

I transferred necessities to a small black purse and declared us ready to go. Bobby helped Les into the backseat of his black RangeMan SUV and I slid in beside him to fasten his seatbelt.

"You sure about this? You can still go back with Bobby and I can go by myself," I asked to give him one last out.

_**Author's note:**__ They're heeeeeere! Or rather, there. So obviously, the next chapter is Steph and Les bearding the dragon in her den. How do you think that'll go? _

_My adopted little brother is visiting this week, and this weekend is will be my last chance to see him for a while, so I probably won't be able to post again until Monday. Hope everyone has a great weekend!_

_Reviews are like rainbows – they make me smile and bring me joy. So please leave me a little joy and hit that blue button!_


	26. Chapter 26

_**Chapter 26**_

He was looking rather worse for the wear by the time Bobby parked in front of my parent's row house. "Show time," I murmured to myself as I slid out and straightened my dress.

Bobby had Les out of the SUV by the time I had sucked in a deep breath and walked around to the other side of the car. Les was leaning against the side of the SUV while Bobby checked him over one last time.

"Remember I'm out here with a syringe full of the good stuff if you need it," Bobby said.

Les offered me his right arm and I wrapped my hand around his hard bicep. "I'm going to so owe you for this," I whispered.

That got a small grin. "I'll keep that in mind, Beautiful."

My mom and grandma opened the door as we approached the steps. I could feel Les breathing a bit heavily as we navigated the stairs and I knew it wasn't from the exertion of a couple of steps. The pain must be worse than he let on.

"Stephanie," my mother said in a hard tone, her words slurring slightly from her earlier tippling. "You have a lot to explain."

I grimaced. "Yes, mom."

She stepped back so we could walk in the door. She closed it with a loud thud and stared at us.

"Mom, you remember Lester Santos," I said to break the icy silence.

"Actually, Stephanie, I don't believe I've met him," she said with a sniff as she turned and walked away.

Oh, this was going great. I knew she'd met him before, several times in fact.

We trailed after her into the living room. My dad was watching the news but my mom turned off the TV. "Frank, your daughter has something to tell us."

My dad looked at me with sympathetic eyes. My grandma also looked sympathetic. At least two of them were. Mom was on the warpath.

"Les and I are married," I said. I had no other way to say other than straight out. "We got married several weeks ago in Las Vegas."

"What will poor Joseph think!" mom shrieked. "He waited for you for years to be ready to get married and then you run off to Vegas with this thug!"

I sucked in a deep breath. "Doesn't matter what Joe thinks, that was over a long time ago. And Les is NOT a thug! He's a good man and I won't listen to you degrade him like that!"

She sniffed. "Joseph said these men are all thugs and criminals. How could associate with them, let alone marry one of them? How could you do this to me?" she cried.

I snapped.

"How can you be so self-absorbed?" I said in a deadly quiet tone. "Not everything I do in my life is to embarrass you or to hurt you. Maybe I just did something for me for once. Did you think of that, mom? But I love him, he loves me, and we're married. You can accept it or not, that's up to you. But I won't stand here and let you call him names! He's not a thug or a criminal. So either you can keep your remarks to yourself or we're leaving! And if I go, I won't be back!"

My mom just turned on her heel and headed into the kitchen, presumably to grab the bottle of booze hidden behind the cereal boxes.

I felt Les squeeze my hand. I didn't even realize we were holding hands until then.

I looked at him and let out a shuddering sigh. I was on the verge of tears. I'd never stood up to my mom like that, but I wasn't about to let her insult and criticize Les. He'd never done anything except love me and he didn't deserve that kind of abuse.

"Proud of you, baby girl," grandma said. "And I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, grandma," I told her. I built a little mound of pillows for Les to rest against and then we sat down on the couch.

Les was his usual charming self with my dad and grandma, and he soon had my grandma practically eating out his hand as he flattered her relentlessly, telling her that he knew where I got my beauty and my spunky personality. Grandma was loving it.

My dad was impressed by his service record. Turns out one of Les's drill sergeants or whatever had been a buddy of my dad's when dad was in the Army, so they had that in common to talk about.

Mom yelled from the dining room. "Dinner is ready," she told us in a snippy tone.

I stood and helped Les to his feet. We walked into the dining room and took our seats.

Mom just harrumphed and looked away. I shared a quick glance with Les, who looked torn between amusement and outrage. I was coming down pretty heavily on outrage, myself.

We passed the bowls of food and dug in. I had to help Les cut his pot roast into manageable chunks but he was fine eating otherwise. I could feel my mom's glare but I just tried to ignore her, focusing on my grandma and dad instead.

"So let me see the ring," grandma finally said to break the silence. I blotted my lips with my napkin and then held out my hand for grandma to check out my bling.

"Hot damn!" she exclaimed as she saw my rings. "That's a big one!"

I shared a grin with Les. I'd barely had the time to wrap my brain around the fact that he'd bought me an engagement ring despite the fact that our engagement apparently only lasted about four minutes before proceeding to drunken matrimony.

Grandma grabbed my hand and nearly yanked me across the table so she could look at it closer. "It's beautiful!"

Mom huffed. "Wonder who he stole it from?" she muttered under her breath but loud enough for all of us to hear it.

That did it. I slammed my hand down on the table, making the plates and cutlery rattle. "Mom!"

She glared at me. "Don't you take that tone with me, young lady!"

I glared back. "First, I'm not a young lady, I'm a grown woman. You do not get to treat me like a twelve year old. Second, how dare you? You don't know anything about Les and you haven't made a damn effort to get to know him! He's not a thief!"

I got a glacial look from my rather inebriated mother. "Joseph said they were all thugs!"

"So you'd rather take Joe's opinions than mine? Nice, mom, real nice. I can see we're not welcome here, so we'll just leave. Perhaps you can have Joe come to dinner instead of me from now on since you believe him instead of me," I said as I stood.

Les grabbed my hand and pulled me back down. "Mrs. Plum, I'm not a thug and I'm not a thief. I protect people from thieves. I sometimes act like a thug when I need to get information from a real thug, but how's that any different from Morelli pretending to be a drug user or a drug dealer undercover to get information? Acting, being undercover, doesn't make him a drug dealer, does it?"

Mom just stared at him for a minute but didn't answer.

"And I wouldn't take Joe's assessment of Les and the guys," I added. "He hated the fact that I was friends with any guys. He even accused me of cheating with Eddie once!"

That got mom's attention. "What? How ridiculous! He's married to your cousin!"

"I know that. I figure he was feeling guilty about his own extracurricular activities with Terri Gilman that he accused me of cheating on him with every man I saw more than twice in my life. So he was always insanely jealous of Les and all the guys, so his opinions aren't exactly the most impartial."

"But he's a trained killer! A thug!" mom wailed.

I was surprised when my dad spoke. He almost never spoke at meals other than to ask for more food or to mutter prayers under his breath for the gods to carry away my grandmother. "All these years and I never knew you thought I was a thug," he said to my mom.

"Frank, don't be silly, you're not a thug," she said dismissively.

"If he is, then I was too. I was trained to be a Ranger just like him. I was trained by the US Army to kill people. I did kill people. So yeah, I'm a thug. I guess Stephanie's following in your footsteps after all by marrying an Army thug."

Mom had a guppy expression on her face as she stared at my dad. "Frank!"

Dad simply resumed eating. After a moment of indecision, I started eating again too. Les squeezed my knee and then picked up his fork again.

"This is a wonderful meal, Mrs. Plum," Les said with his most charming smile. "Thank you so much for inviting us."

I had to choke back a snort. It wasn't an invitation, it was a command performance. That's like saying you're invited to your own beheading.

Mom stared at Les for a moment. "Thank you," she finally muttered.

Grandma kept up a running chatter about the latest gossip not involving me for the next fifteen minutes. Les would occasionally ask her a question or make a comment. Dad was his usual silent self. I was too angry to speak, so I just kept loading my mouth with food so I couldn't talk.

Finally, mom pushed her chair back abruptly. "Stephanie, help me with dessert."

Oh hell, here it comes. I stood slowly, taking deep breaths like Les had taught me to try to keep myself calm.

"Don't worry, Beautiful," Les whispered. "If you're not back in ten minutes, I'll come in with guns blazing."

I turned towards him. "Promise?"

He squeezed my hand. "I promise."

Well, I only had to survive ten minutes. I could do that. Maybe.

"Stephanie!" mom shouted. Great, the natives are getting restless.

"I'll take good care of your hottie," grandma promised.

I shot her a glance. "No touching!"

"Well, damn," grandma said with a big grin. I heard Les let out a sigh of relief.

You'd think I was walking to my execution. It almost felt like someone should be chanting, "dead man walking!" as I trudged mournfully into the kitchen.

Mom thrust a carton of ice cream into my hands as I walked into the room. "You can scoop the ice cream."

I'd rather stick my head in the freezer. For a decade.

But I got the ice cream scoop and started scooping little balls of vanilla ice cream onto dessert plates.

"How could you do this?" mom finally asked. "First Valerie and now you! How can you two do this to me?"

I sighed. "Mom, I didn't do anything to you. We were in Las Vegas and we decided to get married on a spur of the moment thing. I did the big 'Burg wedding once and I told you that I would never do that again."

She was quiet for only a minute. "Why do you hate me?"

"Mom, I don't hate you! I don't like you very much right now, but I don't hate you!"

"Then why do you do these things to me?"

I was getting angry again. "Like what? Like choosing to get married outside of a massive circus that was horrible enough to make even Saint Valerie reconsider marrying Albert? Like live my own life how I want rather than caring about what every stupid gossipmonger in the 'Burg thinks I should do? I don't do any of those things _to _you, I do them _for_ me!"

She turned on her heel and stalked out with two plates of cake and ice cream. I followed more slowly with two more plates. Mom brushed by me with a glare to get the last plate.

I sat the dessert down in front of mine and Les's places. He patted my knee consolingly as I sat. "You okay?" he whispered.

I just shook my head. No, I was not okay.

I started eating dessert. If nothing else, I loved my mom's cake and this might be the last time I ever get it.

"I just can't imagine what the neighbors will say," mom snipped at me a minute later. "They must all think I'm a terrible mother to have had such a wild daughter who refuses to settle down."

Maybe because you are a terrible mother. Shit, I hope I didn't say that out loud!

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "What does it matter what the neighbors think?" I tried to ask in a logical manner. "You don't even like most of the neighbors."

Mom just snorted. "I hate being the center of gossip!"

I laughed bitterly. "Me too! But that doesn't stop everybody and their cousin from talking about me." Including you, I thought.

Mom looked taken aback. "Well, if you'd just live a normal life, no one would ever talk about you!" she exclaimed.

"Now, Helen," grandma interrupted. "You know that's not true. I heard you on the phone just yesterday talking about how Susan Reese has let herself go now that she's married. She's living a normal life, but everyone's talking about how she's gained a few pounds. Living a normal life don't mean people don't talk about you, it just means the gossip ain't as interesting."

My mom glared at my grandma. "Mother!"

"And don't you take that tone with me, missy. If Stephanie ain't allowed to be angry with you for being a bigoted fool, then you ain't allowed to be mad at me for telling the truth," grandma retorted, looking more stern than I could ever remember her being.

"Mother! I'm not a bigot or a fool!"

Grandma snorted. "Sure could ould have fooled me, then." I agreed.

"I just want Stephanie to live a normal life and be happy," mom complained.

"Mom, I am happy. Maybe my life isn't normal, but let's face it, I've never been normal. Why can't you just be happy that I'm happy?" I asked as I fought back the tears of frustration and anger. She just snorted and looked away.

Les wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close against his chest. I sucked in a couple of deep breaths of eau d' Santos to get myself under control before pulling back.

Les looked furious. Eek. This was going to be bad. "Ma'am, I love your daughter and she loves me. We'd like your support but we don't need it. If you can't accept this, us, that's up to you, but you're the one who will lose. I can promise you that my family will absolutely adore Stephanie and will be more than happy to be her new family. I won't lie, I've done some things I'm not proud of, but those were mostly in service to my country. So if you don't like me, that's fine, 'cause you're not exactly on my list of favorite people after seeing the awful way you treat Stephanie. But I will not sit here and allow you to make your daughter this upset."

Then he turned to me. "Do you want to leave?"

Hell yes! "Yes, please."

He stood and pulled me up with him. My mom just gaped at us in shock, but grandma and dad stood up and followed us to the door. I snagged my purse as we power-walked by the couch. Les was in a pissed off mood and his legs are a lot longer than mine.

"Give it some time," grandma said. "She'll come around."

I shrugged. At this point, I didn't care. I was tired of always being a disappointment and if mom didn't like it, well, she could just kiss my ass. Les had a great security system that she couldn't get past, even if she did figure out where we lived, so I figured we were good.

"Good for you, pumpkin," dad said as he kissed my cheek. "I like him."

I blinked at him in shock for a moment before Les let out a deep breath and stopped just long enough to say goodbye to my dad and grandma. Then we were trotting down the sidewalk towards the SUV.

Bobby popped out as we approached at warp factor 9 and winced. "That bad?" he asked, probably mostly rhetorically.

Les shot him a glance before he yanked open the backseat and slid in. I scampered in beside him and he immediately pulled me against him. "It was fucking awful. Her mom's a bitch!"

I just nodded. She had certainly acted like a major bitch tonight, not that it was terribly shocking. She'd decided that only Joe Morelli would do for me and she absolutely refused to accept the fact that I didn't want to marry Joe. Not then and definitely not now.

Bobby hovered beside me for a second. "You need anything? Want the shot?" he asked.

"Just get us the fuck out of here," Les ordered.

Bobby nodded and jumped in the car to get us rolling. Even with Bobby driving slowly and carefully, I could tell Les was in pain. His lips would tighten each time we drove over a pothole or bump in the road and the lines around his eyes were growing worse. I rubbed his hair and babbled about inconsequential things. I don't think it helped much, if at all.

We got back home and Bobby parked at the front door. We got Les into the house and I got him stripped out of his clothes while Bobby asked him medical questions about his pain level. In the end, Bobby and I convinced him to take the shot of painkillers and to try to rest. Les agreed but only if I'd stay with him. I agreed.

I changed into some cuddly lounge clothes and clambered in bed next to him. He pulled me against him.

"I'm so sorry, Beautiful," he whispered. That's when the waterworks started.

He just held me for the next few minutes while I tried to get myself back under control. He rubbed my back and made little soothing sounds. "Cry if you need to cry, baby. I'm not going anywhere."

"I hate crying!" I wailed. "And I hate that dinner with my mom pretty much always makes me want to cry!"

He just rubbed my back and told me how proud he was of me for standing up to my mom, how much he loved me and how wonderful I was. I cried until I eventually fell asleep, feeling safe and loved by Les.

_**Author's note: **__And there you have it, the Dinner from Hell at the Plum House. It was downright spooky how some of you were 100% accurate about what would happen – I'm looking at you, Christibabe!_

_So what did you think of the Plum dinner? Good, bad, ugly? And now that they've jumped that hurdle with no bloodshed and no bullets flying, what's the next major event? I'll let you know if you guess correctly (after I finish freaking out just a little)!_


	27. Chapter 27

_**Chapter 27**_

I became aware of whispering voices much later. I was a little bit awake but still mostly asleep, but I was just awake enough to be aware of what was being said.

"So what the hell happened?" Bobby whispered.

"Her mom flipped her lid, accused me of being a thug, of stealing Steph's engagement ring," Les whispered back. "Then she jumped all over Steph for being the center of gossip and making her life miserable because she wouldn't just settle down and be normal."

Bobby made a sound of disgust. Sounded about right, actually.

"I've made it a rule to never hurt a woman if I could ever avoid it, but Dios! I wanted to just shoot her to put Steph out her misery!" Les continued.

"What makes you think I would have objected?" I whispered.

"Sorry, Beautiful," Les said in a normal voice. "Did we wake you?"

I rolled over and stretched. "Yeah, but I wasn't really asleep, I was only half-asleep. So no worries." I yawned and looked at Les. "How are you feeling?"

He shot me a little crooked grin. "Like killing your mother in slow and painful ways, mostly."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Ha ha. You know what I mean."

"It's not too bad. Definitely worth a bit of pain for you to not have to deal with all that bullshit by yourself. I can't believe your mom was such a bitch to you!"

I shrugged. "I can't believe how mean she was to you," I corrected. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that."

He shrugged. "Not the first time I've had to deal with unpleasant people and probably not the last either."

"Still, you don't ever deserve to be treated like that, not by anyone, but especially not by my own freaking mother."

He pressed a kiss to my hand, which was intertwined with his. "It's fine, Beautiful. Don't worry about it."

I sighed. "Ever thought about opening a branch in, say, the Caymen Islands?" I muttered. "Really, anyplace with a beach will be fine. I'm not picky."

Les and Bobby both grinned at me. "We'll talk about it at the next core meeting," Bobby promised. "But I'm moving with you if we open in the Caribbean!"

"Sounds good. You're the only medical guy who can get blood out of me without making me want to punch you, so I'd be more than happy to keep you around. Plus I like you," I told him.

Bobby ruffled my hair. "Thanks, I think."

"It was a compliment," I told him as I sat up on the bed.

"So we just having a sleepover in here, or is something going on?" I asked.

I got a leer from Les and a grin from Bobby.

"I just wanted to check on you both before I head out," Bobby said. "They need me to help with a take down."

"Good luck!" I told him. He grinned and then stood from his crouched position.

"When you're good, you don't need luck," he told me with a wink.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Watch yourself. Pride goeth before a fall and all that."

He just grinned at me. "I'll keep an eye out for trip hazards," he promised. "Call or text if you need anything. Otherwise, I'll check in with you later."

Bobby ambled out and I turned to face Les. "I was so worked up about stuff earlier that I never asked… how did the meeting go this morning?

Les shrugged. "We're going to have to bring in some of the other guys to help with supervisory stuff. I'm out for at least another few weeks before I'd be back on even limited office duty for a couple of months and God only knows when Ranger will be back. Tank and Bobby just can't handle everything. Even with the four of us all here and healthy, it was getting to be too much to handle sometimes, and it's been pretty tough the last eight months with Ranger gone. So it needed to be done, but my damn arm just accelerated the process."

I nodded. "Sounds reasonable. You guys have gotten pretty big now, and it's too much for four people, no matter how good, to manage everything."

Les nodded. "Yeah. So we'll look at pulling in some of the contract workers as full-time and we'll move up some of the current full-time guys to supervisory level. I trust your Spidey senses, so what do you think of Cal, Hal, Woody and Ram?"

"I like all of them a lot."

"Do you think they have what it takes to move to a bigger role at RangeMan?" he prodded.

I thought about it for a minute. "Hal's really quiet, but that could be just around me. If he's able to be more vocal around the guys, he'd probably be fine. Cal would be great. I like Woody and Ram a lot but I haven't worked with them as much so I can't say too much about their professional abilities, just their social skills. But they're sociable and friendly. They would be good at anything customer related, like sales meetings or customer service. Despite being big and scary, they seem good at getting people to trust them. Or at least getting women to trust them at bars and clubs, which is pretty much how I know them."

Les nodded. "Hal is quiet for the most part, but when he does talk, it's worth listening to usually. He's kind of like Tank in that regard. I'll mention assigning more of the people stuff to Woody and Ram if possible, I think you're right in that they're the more chatty guys of that group."

"Cal's chatty and cool too, but his gigantic size and tattoo tend to freak people out before they get to know how cool he is. But he'd be kick ass at anything that requires intimidation to the nth degree," I mentioned. "Hal would be good at anything that requires attention to detail. He's seems super detail oriented from what I know about him."

Les grinned. "He is. Freaking card sharp, too. I think he counts cards."

I had to laugh. "Learned this the hard way, huh?"

I got a sheepish nod in reply.

I checked the clock. It was getting late, but after my nap, I wasn't sleepy. "You ready to go to sleep?" I asked Les.

He shook his head reluctantly. "I can go watch TV in the living room for a while if you're ready for bed," he offered.

"I'm not. I was going to get out of your way if you were ready to go to sleep."

He grinned and we both rolled out of bed, me quite a bit quicker than Les for once. Guess the whole being injured thing slowed him down slightly.

We raided the fridge and headed to the couch. We sat up watching movies for the next several hours. Well, the movies were playing but we were mostly talking. Sometimes it was serious, like how to deal with my mom (I'm still with the moving to the Caribbean plan), and sometimes it was funny, like the story about Hal fleecing the rest of the Merry Men at poker before they learned that behind his placid façade lay the heart of a world champion poker player.

There was also quite a lot of cuddling in between conversations.

I started to yawn around three in the morning, and Les insisted that we get ready for bed. He looked like he could stay up for hours longer, but I was starting to get a little tired. We got ready for bed and then just lay there, arms wrapped around each other and talked in the dark. It was easier for me to admit to my rocky relationship with my mother when he couldn't see my face.

"She's never been happy with me," I admitted. "The only time I can ever remember her being really happy with me was when I was engaged and then married to Dickie. And that didn't have anything at all to do with me, it was that I had landed a lawyer. She actually expected me to keep my mouth shut and stay with him when I caught him cheating! She went on and on about how bad it would look."

Les was lazily rubbing my back, just letting me talk, or not, as I felt the urge.

"When I lived in Newark, I could deal with it because I didn't see her that often. I made the obligatory weekly phone calls, but I mostly just tuned her out while she bitched on the phone. That was my weekly mani/pedi time, when I had to call my mom. I'd put her on speakerphone and then pretty much ignore her while I did my nails. Then I lost my job, obviously because I was stupid and incompetent rather than because the whole damn company closed for reasons way above my pay grade, and it just got worse. She hated my job, she hated my friends, hell, I'm pretty sure she even hated me at times!"

"Then Saint Valerie gets divorced, moves back in with my parents because she's broke and has no job, became a faux-lesbian for a couple of weeks and then gets pregnant out of wedlock by Albert Klough, but she's still the freaking perfect daughter! Nothing I ever do could ever be as great as Val. I love my sister, I really do, but at times, I hate her because she can never do anything wrong and I can never do anything right!" I ranted.

Les was making soothing sounds as I tried to keep myself from busting a blood vessel in anger.

I lay quietly for a while, trying to get my emotions under control.

"You know, it's not Val's fault. She usually wasn't one to try to rub my nose in the fact that mom loved her better, even when we were bratty kids. She doesn't understand my life any better than mom does, but she's never really been nasty about it. Well, except when she was hormonal out the wazoo when she was pregnant and then she'd apologize and bake me something. I can understand that. I'm hell on wheels when I'm PMSing, so pregnancy has to be a million times worse."

I could feel him start to chuckle but he didn't say anything.

"Oh yeah, you're just going to have to learn to ignore my evil days. But with the shot, that only happens once every three months rather than every month," I told him. "And you'll need to feed me chocolate then. Lots and lots of chocolate!"

"Noted," he replied drily. "Thank God for drugs and chocolate!"

"Smartass," I told him.

"You love my ass!"

"Now that's the truth!" I replied.

We lay amiably in silence for a while. "I just don't know what to do," I admitted.

"What do you want to do?" Les asked.

I shrugged. "Avoid my mother for the rest of my life?"

"You can do that, Beautiful. Just because she's your mother doesn't mean you have to expose yourself to her toxic waste all the time," he told me.

I thought about it for a few seconds. It was sounding pretty damn attractive at the moment.

"I'm serious. If you could limit seeing your mom to a couple of times a year, on holidays maybe, but still see the rest of your family regularly, would you be happier?" he asked.

I didn't have to think about it for long. "Probably."

"So let's do that then. There is no reason for you to put yourself through that kind of pain when you don't have to."

"But she's my mom."

"Giving birth to someone doesn't mean they become your indentured servant for life, baby. If she going to act like a bitch, like she definitely did today and it sounds like she has for most of your life, then why put yourself through that? You have dozens of people who love you just as you are, me at the top of that list, so spend your time with people who make you happy and feel good instead," he said.

Maybe he's a Vulcan/ ThunderCat hybrid? He's rocking the logic right now.

"How would that work?" I asked. I'd never really thought about that much. I figured dealing with my mom and her attitude was just a given, like taxes and PMS.

"We'd figure it out together. But we could meet your dad and grandma, hell, even your sister and her brood, at restaurants, here, wherever. We'd only go to your parents house for holidays and shit, and only if Valerie and her kids are there to provide cover five for your mom's bitchy comments. She probably wouldn't be such a massive bitch in front of your nieces, right?"

I snorted. "She's not quite as open about it, but she still makes her snippy comments."

"Then we'll time it show up as dinner is served and we'll leave the minute you take your last bite of cake. And we'll wire you with a panic button. It gets to be too much, you hit the button, and someone pages us with an emergency and we have to leave right that freaking minute."

I had to grin at his plans. "New twist on military tactical planning?" I asked.

I felt him chuckle. "Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Good planning and exact timing have saved my ass on more than one occasion."

"It's something to consider," I said. "God, you don't know how much I dread going to dinner, knowing that I'm going to be criticized nonstop."

"Or I could make her vanish. Send her to a third-world country somewhere with no US embassy and where they don't speak English."

I giggled. "Now there's a thought!"

He pulled me to him and kissed my forehead. "If she pushes me too far, if she hurts you too much, that might be a good option."

I sighed. He was just kidding, I knew that, but it did have an appeal.

We both fell silent again. I loved that he just let me choose to talk or not and didn't try to push me.

_**Author's note: **__Thanks so much for the reviews! They make me smile like you wouldn't believe. I'll try to respond to them as soon as I can, but no one has yet guessed the next big event directly. Kinda sorta maybe a little bit, but not the main plot bunny, which makes me feel better than I'm not so easy to figure out! ;-)_

_This chapter was mostly dialog, but please let me know what you think about Steph's view of her relationship with her mom. _

_Time to vote in the comments: should Steph give her mom one last chance to shape up and prove she's not an evil witch or should she go ahead and cut her losses now and hope that Les's mom (and Ella) can help fill that maternal role for her? Please let me know what you think! I haven't figured that part out yet, so what you lovely ladies (I'm assuming most of you are ladies, but gentlemen are welcome to vote, too) have to say will have a big impact!_


	28. Chapter 28

_**Chapter 28**_

I guess I eventually fell asleep because the next thing I knew, the sun was streaming in the windows. I harrumphed and rolled over, but woke up more when Les wasn't there. How the heck did he manage to get out of bed without waking me up?

I forced myself out of bed and went in search of Les, after a quick potty break. Mother Nature can't be denied.

I found him in the kitchen trying to make pancakes one handed. He was actually doing better than I did with two hands! Much as I love pancakes, I haven't quite mastered the art of flipping them without them falling completely apart.

"Aw man," he said as he saw me standing in the kitchen doorway. "I was going to surprise you!"

"The fact that you can make pancakes is very surprising!" I told him as I walked over to kiss him good morning.

I took a closer look at the stack of golden brown pancakes stacked nice and tall on a plate. "What's that in them?" I asked.

"Chocolate chips."

"I love you!" I exclaimed.

He grinned at my exuberance. "I'm almost done with them," he told me. "If you'll set the table and get us something to drink, we'll be ready to eat in just a second."

I licked my lips and then jumped to it. The sooner I was done, the sooner we could eat, and I had a big stack of chocolate chip pancakes calling my name. They were practically shouting.

By the time I got the table set, glasses of milk poured and the butter and maple syrup out, Les was sliding the last couple of pancakes off the griddle and onto the plate. Boy, I am one ridiculously lucky girl! I have a totally amazing man, who's hotter than the sun, and he cooks!

We divided the pancakes, coated them butter and then drowned them in maple syrup. I cut Les's stack of pancakes into pieces he could manage with one hand and then attacked my own stack like I was starving. 'Cause I was. Emotional overload really ramps up those hunger hormones.

I let out a long moan when I took the first bite. When I opened my eyes, which had closed on their own in sheer bliss, Les was grinning widely. "Good?" he asked.

"Oh my freaking God! If I hadn't already married you, I would propose right now!" I told him as I leaned over to give him a quick kiss. "They're amazing!"

He laughed. "Hot damn, I wish I'd known you were that into pancakes earlier! Would have saved me years of suffering!"

I grinned at him. "Good things come to those who wait," I said as I took another bite and moaned again.

When I opened my eyes this time, his eyes was hungry, and not for just pancakes. His eyes were emerald green and his pupils were dilated. "And what if I'm tired of waiting?" he whispered in a husky tone that set my heart to racing.

I swallowed hard. "Then we pray the doctor clears you for extracurricular activities," I finally managed to whisper in reply.

"Ah Dios! Por favor," he whispered. "If you only knew what those sounds do to me, Beautiful," he said as he stared intently at me.

I'm sure I turned the color of a tomato. "Sorry."

"Baby, don't apologize. I love that I can make you make that sound by making you breakfast. I just can't wait to find out what kinds of sounds you make when I make love to you."

Make that the color of an overripe tomato.

He finally chuckled, a sexy sound that left my stomach in knots of desire. "Eat before they get cold," he told me.

I shoved a big piece in my mouth, sure that my eyes were the size of the plates. He laughed again, this time with amusement.

"It's okay, baby," he reassured me. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

I shrugged. "Happens to me a lot."

"Ever heard of desensitizing training?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"It's a process where you become able to tolerate something better by being exposed to it a lot. Like with allergies, they expose you to tiny bits of the allergen until your body doesn't overreact to it anymore."

"Okay…" I drawled, waiting for the point.

"I'm going to desensitize you from blushing when I make a comment like that by telling you so frequently how beautiful you are, how sexy you are and how much I want you that you'll stop blushing when you hear it," he told me with a charmingly crooked grin.

I blushed bright red again and he grinned at me. "Guess we should get started right now, huh? You seem to have a pretty severe reaction and it might take a lot of work to desensitize you. Good thing I'll be home a lot the next few weeks so we can get going with this!"

"Les!" I squeaked, which only made him smile bigger.

"Yeah, my sexy Beautiful?"

"Stop it!"

"Nope, you're not desensitized yet, so I'm not stopping," he told me as he leaned in to kiss me.

A few minutes later, I uncurled my fingers from his neck and pulled back to catch my breath. He just grinned wickedly at me. "I think I'm going to enjoy this kind of therapy," he murmured.

I tried to ignore him and went back to my pancakes, but I could still feel the warmth in my cheeks from the blush. Most of my blood had gone to other areas, ahem, so I didn't have enough left to make my cheeks turn any pinker.

We finished breakfast and I sat back with a happy sigh. "That was fantastic! What made you want to make pancakes this morning?" I asked.

He half shrugged. "You had a rough day yesterday."

I smiled at him. "You're so sweet!"

Then I grinned wider. "Oh, I think you're blushing just a little bit! Maybe I need to desensitize you to compliments too?" I teased.

I got the crooked grin. "I won't object as long as you don't call me sweet in front of anyone else!"

I had to laugh. I could only imagine the merciless teasing he would get from the other men in black if they heard me call him sweet.

"Let's relocate to the living room and do some tactical battle planning," he said as he stood gingerly. I followed his oh so lovely behind, clad only in a pair of tiny black boxers, into the living room.

"So our main objectives are to tell everyone our new marital status, make it clear that we're not married because you're knocked up but simply because we love each other, and try to spike the guns of the rumormongers and gossips before they can go too nuts with innuendo and shit, but to limit the amount of shit splashing back on us, particularly you," he said.

"Okay," I said.

"So I have an idea," he said. "We have a big party to announce it, but it has to be soon, really soon. Otherwise, the gossips will have time to spin it and we'll have to wait at least six months, minimum, to convince everyone that you don't have a bun in the oven."

Okay, that made sense.

"Do you trust me?" he asked.

I shot him a suspicious look. "I make it a habit not to trust anyone who asks me if I trust them," I retorted.

He chuckled. "That's usually a good plan, Beautiful. But seriously, do you trust that I would never do anything that could hurt you?"

I nodded slowly. And suspiciously.

He grinned. "So we have a big blow out at Pino's tonight."

I blinked at him, just barely keeping my jaw from dropping. "Pino's? Tonight? Are you nuts?"

He smiled. "That's debatable. But hear me out. One, Pino's is one of your favorite restaurants so that's a realistic choice. Two, it's in the 'Burg, so people from the 'Burg will be there. Three, there's the private room so it would be semi-private, but everyone would know what was happening so it will be broadcast to every freaking corner of the 'Burg before we finish our meal. Finally, we'll invite the guys from RangeMan so we'll be letting them know before they hear about it by gossip, and since it's a cop hangout, Trenton's finest will hear about it. In our line of work, it's always a good thing to have the cops like you."

I stared at him. "You're serious?"

"When it comes to you and me, Beautiful, I'm absolutely serious."

I was trying to get my brain to work, but all I could hear, over the pounding of my heart in my ears, was the fact that he wanted to have a big post-wedding bash at Pino's. Tonight.

"Think about, Steph. Controlling information is a big part of winning the war. Right now, there are rumors and speculation but not a lot of hard facts. So we take control of the information, spin it in our own favor and get the word out. It'll take the wind out of their sails and limit how much shit they can say about us. It might not change how many words are said, because God only knows that gossips can rehash the same info a million times, but it limits what they can say. They can't say we're trying to hide it, because we wouldn't be. They can't say it's because you're pregnant, because we'll make sure you're seen drinking a beer or two. So it doesn't leave them as much to say. Right?"

I nodded slowly. The more I thought about it, the more it actually made sense. Instead of having lots of little scenes with people, like with Connie and Lula and then the whole debacle with my parents, it would be one giant scene that would be over in just a few hours. And I would be able to eat pizza and drink beer to deal with it.

"So who would we invite?" I asked.

"Anyone either of us have ever met, basically. Everybody from RangeMan, the cops you're friends with, any of your friends like Connie and Lula, Mary Lou, anybody you want to tell," he said. "We'll leave your mom and dad and grandma off the list but we can tell people we had dinner with them last night to share our happy news. And we've told my family already so they don't need to drive down for this. This is about our friends, not so much our family."

"What about your friends?" I asked.

"Most of my friends are at RangeMan or don't live around here, or at least aren't close enough they could get here by tonight. And this is mostly about you, about getting them to stop saying shit about you. I don't care what they say about me, hell, they'll have to eat their words in nine months when there's no baby, but I know it bothers you," he replied easily.

I nibbled on my lower lip for a minute, thinking about it.

"I really do think it will help," Les encouraged. "Plus any excuse to party, right? But if you don't think it's a good idea, we won't do it."

"You really think that's a good idea?" I asked. He nodded encouragingly. "What if Joe's there?"

"Then he has to suck it up and try not to be a whiny bitch about the fact that it's not that you were necessarily adamantly opposed to getting married again, just that you weren't dumb enough to marry him," Les said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, that'll play out well."

"It might be best if he is there," Les said. "He'll be surrounded by his fellow cops, so he'll lose all street cred if he pitches a temper tantrum. And with the guys there, there's no way he can do anything to you if he gets pissy."

"I'm more worried about what he might do to you," I told him.

He smirked. "Even with my arm in this damn sling, I am not the least bit concerned about my ability to take Morelli. Even in our eighties, both of us with walkers, I'll still be able to kick his ass."

I shook my head.

"I'm glad that you're concerned about me, but don't be. Morelli's a cop and he was a bar fighter before that. He does not even remotely have the skills to take me down. He relies on his gun and his badge, but neither of those will help him if he goes apeshit about you getting married. I'm armed too and I don't need a badge to scare the shit out of people," he told me confidently.

Too confidently? We'll see.

"If you think it'll work, I'll give it a try," I told him. "But that also means I get to blame you if this becomes a disaster of epic proportions!"

His smile wavered for only a split second before he pulled me against his side. "If it doesn't go well, I have a few ideas for how to take your mind off of it," he whispered in my ear.

And with that, I needed new underwear.

Instead of letting me go change my underwear, he pulled me into his lap so I was straddling him. I squeaked a bit in surprise before deciding that this was actually a lovely idea and one that I could be completely on board with.

His lips were caressing the side of my neck as I fought to keep my balance from the unexpected movement.

Completely on its own accord, with absolutely no input from my brain, my head tipped back and exposed my throat. Les didn't need a second invitation. His lips traced the column of my neck, stopping to nip gently at the pulse point that was pounding out a staccato rhythm.

I moaned in response. His good arm slid from my hip up my back, sliding under the silky tank top to stroke my bare back from the base of my spine to the very top of my shoulders. His arm held me tightly against him as he continued to kiss, nip and lick the sensitive skin of my throat and neck.

I could feel how excited he was about our new position and it was taking every bit of will power in my body to not just save a horse and ride a cowboy. It really felt like the slightest touch below the Mason-Dixon line would be enough to set me off and he was perilously close to touching me there. The thin silk of our respective garments wasn't enough to mute the heat pouring off of both of us, and I fully expected my underwear to burst into flames.

His lips traveled from my neck on a southward journey. When he licked the curve of my breast just above the silk, I swear I think I almost blacked out for a second. Before he could explore much more, and before I could mentally tell Bobby and my promises to behave to go screw themselves, I threw myself off of Les and backed away quickly.

Once I was on the other side of the room, I was able to start to get my breathing under control.

One look at him, however, almost sent me either running for the exits or running to tackle him. Not sure which it would have been.

His tanned skinned was flushed. His huge and luminous emerald green eyes were full of heat. He was breathing heavily and his chest glistened with just the slightest sheen. Little Les was straining heroically against the black silk boxers and I licked my lips at the thought of what was hiding behind that tiny scrap of fabric.

He groaned at my movement and I had to take another step backwards as the muscles in his chest and abs flexed sinuously. He shifted his body weight and stood up, stalking towards me like a jungle cat after its dinner. Yep, he was totally a cat in a previous lifetime, a big tawny lion.

I backed away as he moved closer. "Les?" I asked nervously. "What are you doing?"

He didn't smile. His glittering eyes never left mine. "I promise you'll be able to figure it out for yourself in just a minute."

Gulp.

I took a few halting steps to put the ottoman between us. "We can't do that. Bobby said…" I tried, trailing off at the look in his eyes.

"I don't care," he said as he navigated around the coffee table with ease.

"But you might hurt your shoulder!"

"I don't care about that either."

"I do!"

He was almost in arm's reach. "Stop!" I tried again.

He froze and then blinked at me for a second. He sucked in a deep breath that made his abs quiver, and parts of me quiver in response. Then he took another one. After a couple of deep breaths, I could see the tension start to seep out of his taunt muscles.

"Sorry, Beautiful," he said with a sheepish smile.

I let out a breath that I didn't even realize I'd been holding. I figured the odds of me being able to resist him if he got his hands on me again were slim, but Bobby would kill us both if Les hurt his shoulder.

I walked over to a chair and collapsed into a heap.

"You okay?" he asked in concern as he came towards me. I stuck out my hand to stop him.

"No! You go over there!" I said as I pointed at the couch.

His lips curved into a smug smile, but mercifully, he complied.

We were both quiet for a minute while we got ourselves back under control.

_**Author's note: **__Thanks so much for your comments and for voting! So far the vote is pretty overwhelming that Steph's given Helen ample opportunity to be a supportive parent and she's blown it. So hasta la vista, mama Plum! _

_So as you can tell now, the next big event is their 'coming out' party, so to speak. There will be a special, uninvited guest, but telling you who that is would spoil the fun, right? ;-) _

_Who do you think it is? Joe, Ranger or Helen? While I have the party scene written already, I'm amenable to updating it if you guys given me interesting ideas about how it plays out!_

_Check back tomorrow for more!_

_Please review!_


	29. Chapter 29

_**Chapter 29**_

"Okay," I finally said after getting my heart rate and hormones back under some semblance of control. "So here's the plan. You call Pino's and try to reserve the room. If you can, then call the Merry Men and invite them. Let me know and I'll call my friends and try to get them there. In the meantime, I'm going to take a shower and then go out to try to find something to wear tomorrow. And you will keep your hands to yourself."

"Or else what?" he asked in a seductive growl.

I bit back a moan at his sexy Latin accent. "Or else I move into the guest room and let Bobby help you with your showers and stuff!"

That shut him up. "Aw, come on, Beautiful, why would you be so mean?"

I glared at him. "I'm not being mean. I just don't want you to get hurt!"

"I have a high pain tolerance."

I glared some more. "And I have a low stupidity tolerance! So think of the queen or your grandma, hell, think of my grandma! But you need to keep your hands to yourself until the doctor clears you for that."

He muttered under his breath in Spanish for a minute. "I'll try. But it's getting damned hard, pun intended, to do that."

I smiled at him. "Trust me, I noticed!"

He just grinned at me. "Soon."

I just nodded. I shot him one last testy glance before I got up and headed towards the bathroom. "If you want me to help you shower before I leave, I thought I'd take a shower now and start getting ready to head out pretty soon."

He groaned. "You're telling me I have to keep my hands off of you, but then you tell me to come shower with you! Make up your mind, lady!"

I grinned. "It would only be a PG-13 shower," I told him. "So don't get your hopes up."

"It's not my hopes that are up," he muttered and I laughed out loud.

"Come on, you dirty minded boy, let's get you clean," I cajoled.

He stood and followed me. "You're going to be the death of me one of these days," he said. "But at least I'll die happy!"

"If you're a good boy, maybe I'll pick up a little present for you at Victoria's Secret," I teased. His eyes went from peridot to emerald in a heartbeat. Whoops, went too far.

He growled at me and I took off running for the bathroom. He caught up with me a minute later. I laughed at the disgruntled look on his face as he stripped off his little black boxers.

"I better get two presents!" he exclaimed.

I grinned. "I'll have to check the bank balance before I can promise that, but I'll see what I can do," I told him.

"Just take my credit card," he suggested as he nuzzled my neck. "They would be presents for me, after all."

I pulled back to glare at him. "I can pay for my own lingerie!"

He seemed startled at my vehemence. "I know that, but I can buy you some stuff sometimes too. It's part of being married, the whole what's mine is yours thing. I've got plenty of money so don't worry about that."

"I didn't marry for your money!" I assured him.

He grinned. "I know. I had to get you drunk to marry me in the first place!"

I rolled my eyes at him. It would probably be more effective if I wasn't naked. "Yeah, well, you had to get drunk to marry me too!"

"Baby, I'd have married you years ago if I'd had even the slightest idea that you thought of me as anything other than a friend," he promised.

I nibbled on my lip and shot him an apologetic look.

He lifted his hand to my lip to stop me. "Don't. Things worked out the way they were supposed to. We're together now, that's all that matters. So don't worry about what might have been. I don't."

I sighed. Sometimes I hated that the guys could all seem to read my mind, but sometimes it was nice. It meant I didn't have to say things out loud.

"People are going to assume I married you for your money," I sighed as I realized the new twist on the rumors. "I mean, I barely had rent money most months and now I'm married to you and you've got this great house and all that. Yet something else they'll accuse me of."

"Doesn't matter, we know the truth. And I'm not flashy about my money, I don't drive around in Porsches so most people probably don't realize how filthy rich I am," he chuckled. "So maybe there won't be too many rumors. And Morelli tried to get you to marry him or even just move in with him for years and you always refused."

"Still." I knew how the 'Burg grapevine would work. "Perpetually broke girl goes from the brink of homelessness to living in this really nice house. People with talk."

He just shrugged. "It's not all that nice."

I stared at him. "Are you kidding? It's great!"

He smiled. "I'm glad you like it. I'm just not as ostentatious as some. I could have bought a McMansion, but I liked this house when I drove by it looking for a skip one day. And it's been nice to remodel and put our stamp on it. Plus it's easier to secure since it's got so much land attached. It'll be hard for anyone to get to the house undetected with all the lawn they'd have to cross."

I sighed. "I wouldn't be able to afford to rent even a bedroom in this house," I told him. "Especially now with things slow at the bond office."

He shot me an affronted look. "And what the hell makes you think I'd accept rent money from you?"

I glared at him. "I pay my own way!"

"Baby, I have enough money that there's no way we could ever run out."

I snorted. Bill Gates didn't have that much money as far as I was concerned. Years of living hand to mouth left me very anxious about money.

"I'm serious. You'd have to turn into one of those real housewives of whatever city to make it through it all. And I just don't see that happening anytime soon," he said.

Now that was true. I'd kick my own ass before I turned into one of those girls.

I shook my head. "You're sweet, but I pay my own way," I told him. "I'm not going to mooch off of you."

"Who's mooching? I've already paid for the house, so there are no bills there. I have to pay for power and water and all that whether you're here or not, so that's nothing. I was eating most of my meals either at work or with you, so that's not a big change. So what's the big deal?"

"Wait, you already paid for the house?"

How the heck? It had to be expensive! It was big and beautiful and sitting on a million or two acres of land.

"I told you, I'm filthy, stinkin' rich."

I gaped at him. "How?"

He shrugged. "Uncle Sam pays well for people with our special skill set. All of us saved pretty much all of that money and used part of it to start RangeMan. Now the company is making a very healthy profit, so combined with what was left of my savings, I have a big nest egg. Well, I guess we have a big nest egg."

My eyes went wide. "No!" I almost shouted. "No way! I'll sign a pre-nup or whatever."

He smirked. "Little late for that."

"Fine. A post-nup or whatever. But I'm not going to put you in that kind of position."

"Beautiful, I wouldn't have fallen for you if you'd have been the kind of girl who was just after my money. Hell, half the reason why I don't flaunt it, why Bobby, Tank and I are all more circumspect about it, is because we didn't want to be chased by the gold diggers. And baby, the last thing you'd ever be is a gold digger," he told me.

This was all too much for my poor brain to take in this early in the morning. "Holy crap," I mumbled.

Les, God bless him, knew this and simply pushed me gently towards the shower. We showered together and then we both got dressed. He was getting better with the one-armed thing, but he still needed a bit of help with getting his shirt on, so I got him dressed in sweat pants and a wife beater tank top. It was black, of course. I swear, I'm going to buy him clothes in actual colors. Then I gave him a kiss and headed out.

On a whim, I called Mary Lou as I got into the car. She'd heard all kinds of rumors, and the kids were already at school, so she was eager to head out shopping with me.

"Ohmigod!" she squealed when she saw the sparkle of rings on my left hand. "It's true!"

I had to laugh at her exuberance as she nearly strangled me. Probably not a great move since I was driving at the time, but I appreciated the fact that she was happy for me.

"Spill!" she demanded. So I did.

"Wow," she sighed. "That's incredible." Then she punched me in the arm. "But what the hell? You've been married for a month and you're just now telling me? I thought I was your best friend!"

"You are," I tried to placate her. "But I wasn't sure what was going on with us and I just needed time to figure it out before I could deal with telling anyone. I'm sorry."

She huffed for a few seconds. "I get that. But you still could have given a girl a clue. I had every gossip in the tri-state area calling to find out if it was true and all I could do was try to dodge any direct answers."

"Sorry."

"So what are we shopping for?" Mare asked a moment later.

I explained about the party tonight. "You've invited, by the way. Bring Lenny, but I'm not sure whether it would be a great place for the kids. The guys are all pretty much ex-military and they don't always think about kids being around before they use bad language."

She nodded for a minute. "I'm pretty sure my mom or Lenny's mom can watch them. Of course we'll be there! Just means I need to buy a hot dress too!"

I grinned. I could always count on Mare to see the positive in any situation.

We'd just pulled into the mall parking lot when my cell phone started playing my now favorite ringtone. I paused to listen to it. "I'm sexy and I know it. Girl, look at that body. I work out." It was so totally Les. [Song is "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO.]

I busted out laughing and answered. "Yo."

"I got the room reserved at Pino's. Tank's called in contract workers so that all the guys who don't have unbreakable plans can come. Ella's making us a wedding cake, and the guys are excited that they get to bring in junk food for lunch since she'll be too busy to make lunch like usual, and they get Pino's for dinner. So no matter what we tell them tonight, they'll love us for that alone."

I grinned and shook my head. "They're easy."

He laughed. "No shit."

"Okay, so I'll call friends then. I'm at the mall with Mare already and she's in, she'll just need to get a sitter for the kids since I can't promise that the guys, or Lula for that matter, can keep the language PG."

Les laughed. "Good call."

"Do you need anything form the mall while we're here?"

"Just my rewards from Vicky's," he told me. "Have fun and be safe."

I groaned. "I'll see you this afternoon," I told him.

"Ten-four, Beautiful. Love you," he said.

"Love you, too. Bye."

I turned to Mare, who was watching me with a shit-eating grin wreathing her face. "What?" I asked defensively.

"I just never thought I'd see you that comfortable saying "I love you" to someone," she said. "You broke out in hives every time before."

I had to concede that was true. "It's different with Les."

"It's because he's the right guy for you," Mare told me with a smug look on her face. "And I'm happy for you."

"Thanks. Now, can you help me invite people to the party tonight while we shop?"

"Please. I'm a mom. I'm the queen of multitasking!"

I wrote down the names and numbers of some people who she knew or knew of pretty well and we both got on the phone. She called Lenny and her mom first while I called Connie.

"Hey Connie, it's Steph," I said once Connie answered.

"Hey girl! I'm glad you're alive! How'd it go?" she said. I could tell I was on speakerphone based on the echo.

"Horrendously awful but I don't want to talk about that now. Look, Les convinced me that we should have a party tonight to tell all of our friends. So be at Pino's at seven ready to eat, drink and be merry. I know the rumors are swirling but please don't confirm or deny anything yet. We'll tell everybody everything tonight, okay?"

"Woo, party time!" Lula yelled.

I had to laugh at her exuberance. "Lula, can you call Sally and invite him? And Connie, can you call Mooner and Dougie? Just tell them that I'm having a party and they're invited tonight."

"Yeah, Steph, we can do that," Connie said. "How about we all go to the spa next Saturday afternoon? Have a girl's day and catch up?"

"That would be great. Let's see how Les is doing then, okay?"

"Yeah, just let us know. You know we're here for you if you need anything. We'll see you tonight."

I turned to Mare and flashed her a thumb's up, and started in on my next phone call.

It wasn't long before we'd finished the phone calls. Both Mare and I had lots of experience dodging questions about my shenanigans, so we managed to avoid answering whether or not I was married. We just told people to show up at Pino's at seven to get answers. I figured we'd have a packed house since no one seemed to be able to avoid gossip about my life.

Thankfully, phone calls completed, we were able to turn to more pleasant endeavors and hit the shopping hard core. I found a gorgeous pale blue lace dress that accentuated all the positives but still looked appropriate enough for an impromptu wedding reception. I would just be a hot bride.

Mary Lou found a silver silk dress that pretty much guaranteed that Lenny would get lucky tonight.

The next quest was shoes, which proved harder than the dressed, but we prevailed and eventually succeeded. We actually bought matching silver four-inch heels that looked hot as hell but actually weren't too terrible on the feet.

After a mani-pedi and a giggle-filled trip to Victoria's Secret, where Les got more than just two presents, we had to head back so Mare could be home when the kids got home from school and so I could start getting ready for the party. I would be the center of attention, and I would need a lot of time to get myself pretty.

I pulled into the garage and found Les and Bobby sitting on the couch playing video games. Les looked somewhat loopy, which probably explains why Bobby was beating the crap out of him. Well, that and he was playing one-handed.

"Hey, baby," Les said as I walked in laden with bags. "How was shopping?"

"Fun."

His eyes zeroed in on the pink bag from Victoria's Secret. "Did you get me a present?" he asked with waggling eyebrows.

"A couple."

"Can I see?"

Bobby groaned and I grinned. "Nope."

"I'm going to go take a bath and start getting ready. Do you need any help right now?" I asked as I gave him a soft kiss.

"Nah. I got it covered."

"Okay."

I took a leisurely bath and shaved and buffed everything that should be either shaved and/or buffed. Once I had turned from a plum to a prune, I climbed out and slathered myself in some ridiculously expensive body cream that Les must have bought for me.

Then I started in on my hair after praying to the hair gods for a good hair night. I wanted to look good on the night when we announced to the world at large that we were married.

Forty-five minutes later, my shoulders were aching from holding up the various hair accoutrements, but my hair was falling in soft, sexy, romantic curls around my face.

I lowered my arms to let the blood flow back to hands for a bit before putting sharp objects near my eyes.

I was sitting in the chair in the bedroom relaxing when the door opened quietly and Les slid in.

"Hey, Beautiful," he said as I opened my eyes to look at him.

"Hey," I replied. "You need any help getting ready?"

"Not yet. I'll probably need a little help getting dressed, but Bobby can help me with that while you're getting ready," he said.

"I can help. I don't mind. I do need to start my make up now, I just needed to rest my arms from doing my hair first," I explained.

He shook his head, muttering something about girls being weird and that I didn't need any makeup. He's sweet, but he doesn't know shit about being a girl from the 'Burg.

I grinned as he stretched out on the bed.

Then I went to work on my makeup, trying to make it look like I wasn't wearing too much make up. Weird and incomprehensible to men, I know, but girls know what I'm talking about. We don't want to look like Tammy Faye Baker, we want to look like we woke up looking naturally gorgeous and glowing. The fact that we didn't means that we need all the help that Cover Girl can give us.

Once I was satisfied that I looked as good as I could, I slipped into the closet and slid into my new underwear. Nothing makes a girl feel sexier than sexy new underwear. Once that was done, I reverently slid on my new dress and my hooker heels before I stepped out.

From the way that Les's green eyes darkened instantly, I knew I'd done a good job.

"Damn, baby, you look absolutely gorgeous!" he swore.

I smiled. "Thank you."

"I'm going to need to wear an extra gun or two to fight all the men off."

I laughed. "You don't think two guns will be enough?"

"Not the way you look."

I grinned. "Thanks. Now let's get you ready."

"I'll go shave while you pick me out something to wear," he said as he stood. He shook he head as he took another look at me. "Damn, I'm a lucky man."

"Not yet, but soon," I promised.

He started swearing in Spanish and stomped into the bathroom. I might not know much Spanish, but I know the swear words in almost all of the Romance languages.

I'd bought him a blue button up shirt a few shades darker than my dress while at the mall, so I just needed to find some pants that would coordinate. After only a moment's indecision, I selected a pair of gunmetal gray slacks to stick with the blue and silver theme.

Les came out freshly shaved and smelling delightful, and I helped him into his clothes. We stood by the mirror together, and damn if we didn't make a cute couple. He pressed a kiss to my cheek. "We look hot."

I grinned at him. "Damn ESP."

He just chuckled and offered me his good arm. "Let's go party hardy, Beautiful."

_**Author's note: **__So Steph's realizing that his jokes about being loaded weren't actually jokes. And that he __never__ jokes about lingerie!_

_The reason why Steph's still trying to be strong and not give in to Les's major sex appeal is that his ribs are still causing him problems, even if he tries to ignore them. Bobby would be seriously displeased with them both. So they just have to suffer for a little while longer. Plus I like writing about the sexual tension. _

_I'll do my best to post the Pino's party chapter tomorrow, but it's going to be an extremely busy day at work and I've got a meeting during lunch. I typically use my lunch hour to do one last read-through and to post, but I'll try to get it up either before the end of the day tomorrow. If that fails, I promise to post it on Saturday, God willing and the creek don't rise, as my grandmother used to say._

_So… what did you think of the shower conversation? And her shopping trip with Mary Lou? Please review, you know I love them!_


	30. Chapter 30

_**Chapter 30**_

Bobby helped get him loaded down with his weapons again while I shoved the essentials into a small silver clutch. Then we piled into the big black SUV and headed to Pino's. We got there early to greet our guests as they arrived.

We played coy as people tried to get info from us, and just told them to go in and grab some food. Well, that's what I said.

Les told the Merry Men to shut the fuck up and eat a piece of pizza and they'd find out when they found out.

Either way, it worked. People were incredibly curious, but no one was willing to cause an outright scene by demanding answers.

By 7:30, we decided that everyone was there who was going to be there. We stepped into the corner with Hector for a moment and had him cut the music he had playing from a complicated looking sound system. Les took that opportunity to hand me my rings from his pocket so I could slide them back on my hand, and I helped him get his on his left hand, which was in the sling so he wouldn't forget and try to use it.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the center of the jam-packed room.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Les said in a loud and booming voice. "Friends, we'd like to thank you all for joining us tonight. We're sure that most of you have heard the rumors, and we'd like to set them straight. Stephanie and I are pleased to share with everyone that we are indeed married."

The room erupted into mass chaos. Only five people in the room didn't leap to their feet or start yelling, and those were the five who already knew the truth: Tank, Bobby, Mary Lou, Connie and Lula. Everyone else pretty much went apeshit.

After a several minutes of yelling, Les held up his good hand and waited until it quieted down again.

"We got married when we were in Las Vegas a few weeks ago, but we decided to take some time and be sure that was what we wanted before we made any decisions. We have decided that's what we want and that we're staying married. So we wanted to share this happy news with our friends. We shared it with both our families yesterday."

"And before you ask, no, she's not pregnant. And I'm not either. Bobby can confirm that one." There was a gale of laughter. "We got married because we love each other. Yeah, we were drunk when we did it, but that's only because we're both a little bit scare of commitment, and nothing is a bigger commitment than marriage. But we're both committed to each other, we love each other, and we're happy to be married."

"So everybody please eat and we'll be coming around to chat. We've put together some pictures from our trip to Vegas and our wedding and those will be shown at the front. Ella graciously made us a cake, and we'll be cutting that in a little while. Please stay for that. Thank you for joining us. Now let's get this party started!" Les shouted the last part and the music started again.

I pulled him close to my side. "Pictures?"

"Bobby and I put together a slide show while you were gone shopping. Don't worry, there aren't any bad or embarrassing pics in it. Just the happy ones that should help to convince everyone that we're head over heels in love."

We looked up when there was a loud clanging noise. Lula was beating the shit out of her beer bottle with a fork. Within seconds, others had picked it up as well and the bottles of Sam Adams were being used as makeshift drums.

"What the hell?" Les asked, completely clueless about this tradition.

I blushed. "They want us to kiss."

He shot me a sexy grin. "Hell yeah." Then he pulled me to him and gave me a toe curling, hair smoking, panty-ruining kiss in front of all and sundry. I was clinging to his neck and was plastered to his body by the time he let me up for air.

The room was dead silent. "Damn," Woody drawled. "Thought we'd have to call the fire department to put you two out."

That broke the silence and everyone started laughing and hooting, especially the firemen in the back. I flipped Woody the bird, which only made everyone laugh harder.

"Lucky bastard!" Cal shouted.

"You damn straight!" Les shouted back.

I looked up and shook my head, and spotted a royally pissed Joe Morelli at the back of the room. I had very intentionally not invited him, but it seemed he'd crashed the party anyways. Fuck, and double fuck.

"Les," I whispered. "Joe's in the back."

"Ignore him. If he starts a scene, the guys will take care of him," Les replied as he directed me out of the center of the room. Oh hell, this would not end well.

Les kept his good arm around my back and we walked over to where the Merry Men were standing. I got pulled away from Les almost instantly and was passed around for hugs and kisses.

"So maybe you left out a little something at the hospital?" Cal asked as he lifted me four feet off the ground so we were eye to eye.

"Er, maybe?" I replied. "We hadn't told our families yet, and we wanted to tell them first."

He shook his head and pressed a kiss to my forehead. So I returned the favor and kissed the center of his flaming skull tattoo.

"Happy for you, angel," he told me. "He's a good man. But I'll kill him if he hurts you."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know. I saw the text messages."

Cal laughed and sat me on my feet. Then Binkie snatched me into a hug and I was off to chat with the other guys. They were all happy for me, even though a few pouted at me and said they'd have been happy to volunteer if they'd know I was looking for a husband. But they all said with twinkling eyes and I knew they were all just teasing me.

I snagged a beer out of Bobby's hand and took a long drink. There was silence for a few seconds while they all stared at me. I thought for a second that Woody was going to rip the beer out of my hands.

"I told you she ain't pregnant," Les drawled. "I'd tell you if you guys were going to be uncles."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't hold your breaths. Kids scare the crap out of me!"

After chatting briefly with all the Merry Men, we moved on to talk with our other friends. I'd invited several of my cop friends, and they all seemed happy for me.

"Hey Steph," Robin Russell said softly. "I'm real happy for you. You seem happy, and my God, but he's hot! You go, girl! But Morelli will not be happy. He's been running his mouth already, saying the rumors were just a load a shit, that you'd never marry anyone except him and that you and he would be back together soon. So just watch your back, sweetie."

I hugged her. "Thanks, Robin. And yeah, he's a hottie! I know Joe's going to be mad, but it's just too damn bad. I'm not going to live my life to keep my cheating SOB ex happy. Les makes me happy, and Joe never did. I'll watch my back. Let me know if he says or does anything more, okay?"

"Yeah, I will. Seems like he's well on his way to turning into his dad, which is a damn shame. So you and your hottie husband just be careful, okay? So happy for you! Congratulations!"

I smiled and moved on to Eddie.

"Damn, Steph, I never thought I'd see the day you were married again," Eddie said.

"I know. Me either."

"Robin tell you about Joe's bullshit?"

"Yeah."

"We got your back. You just be happy with your new husband, and we'll take care of Morelli. He's just mad because he knows he fucked up for good this time."

"Thanks, Eddie."

That was pretty much how it went with everyone from the Burg. "Wow, congrats! What's Joe going to say?" everyone asked.

I was ready to announce to the room that I didn't give a flying fuck what Joe Morelli had to say when the devil himself appeared in front of me.

Before I could process it, Les was by my side and almost all of the Merry Men and Trenton cops were around us.

"Joe," I said as civilly as I could.

"Morelli," Les said smoothly. "Thanks for coming to our party."

Swear to God, Joe's eyes turned demonic red at that. I could almost smell the sulfur.

"What the fuck, Cupcake? You wouldn't marry me but you married this thug?"

I felt my left eye start to twitch as the whole room went deathly silent. Everyone wanted to hear this conversation. Damn nosy busybodies, even if they were my friends.

"Exactly. I wouldn't marry you because I never really trusted you. Turns out that my instincts were spot on with that. How is Terry, by the way? But I trust Les, I always have. And I am married to him, very happily married to him," I said as I wrapped my arm around Les's waist. "And if you call him a thug again, I'll break more than your legs with the Buick this time."

"What the hell else would you call him?" Joe all but shrieked.

"Honorable. Loyal. Caring. Wonderful. A patriot. Sexy as hell. Strong. Capable. Should I continue? He served his country for a dozen years, earning lots of medals in the process. I've seen them. And now his job isn't really all that different than being a cop. He protects the innocent and puts the bad guys back in jail. And if it wasn't for the fact that you were so damn jealous that I was friends with them, you could see that, Morelli," I retorted.

"If you hadn't cheated on me with all these fucking thugs," Joe roared.

"I never cheated on you, you asshole!" I yelled. "Don't project your sins on me! You're the lying, cheating son of a bitch. I would never cheat on someone. I know how much that hurts. You're the one who cheated on me, remember?"

His face fell for a second before the fury was back. "You cheated on me with Ranger!"

"No, I didn't."

"You're lying!" Joe spat. He looked like he was going to say more, but Les growled at him.

"Watch your mouth, Morelli," he warned softly. "I understand you're already on probation and you're supposed to be staying away from Stephanie. Somehow, I think showing up here and causing a scene won't help at your hearing."

Joe looked at the cops around him for support, but received none.

Joe finally sucked in a deep breath and let his head hang. "So this is it, Steph?" he asked softly. "Three years together, and this is it? You marry another man?"

"Joe, we should have never been together in the first place. You wanted a 'Burg wife and the thought of being that makes me want to puke. But any hope of us being together died when you cheated on me. You knew that would be a deal breaker for me. And that happened over a year ago and I've barely spoken to you since then. So why's it so hard to believe that I would move on, find someone else to love?"

Joe sucked in a deep breath. "I know, I just… I don't know. I just hoped you'd forgive me, give me another change. I was just giving you time."

"It's time for you to move on. I have. I love Les, and we're married. You need to find someone who wants the kind of life you want. I never did and I never will," I said softly.

"But you got married!" Joe said as he dragged his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, I did. But Les doesn't want to turn me into a clone of my mom or Val. Hell, he's a way better cook than I am! He loves me for who I am, not who he could turn me into. And lets face it, but you never really loved me for me, just for who you thought I might could be."

Joe looked almost sick to his stomach. Know the feeling there, Joe. "Cupcake, how can you say that! You know I loved you!"

"No, you didn't," I said as calmly as I could manage with dozens of people watching and listening avidly. This is definitely not the time or place I would have chosen for this conversation. "You never once supported me in my job. You kept information from me that actually put me in danger, but then you got mad when I was in danger. You never once offered to help me with self-defense training or anything like that, you just bitched about how I was going to get myself killed and how that was giving you an ulcer and made you look bad. If you'd really loved me, you would have wanted me to get better at my job when I told you how much it meant to me and that I wanted to keep it. If you'd really loved me, you'd have kept it in your pants. But none of that matters now, because I'm in love with Les. So please, Joe, just forget about me. Move on and leave me alone," I begged.

"I can't do that! We're supposed to be the ones married!" Joe pleaded with me, trying unsuccessfully to take my hand in his.

"Morelli, you have to move on. Stephanie is married, but it isn't to you. She's married to me, and you lost any shot you ever had with her by cheating on her. Move on, man," Les said in a slightly sympathetically voice as he pulled me closer to his side. "But now, it's time for you to leave."

Joe stared pleadingly at me for another minute before he finally nodded. Eddie and Big Dog followed him out of the room.

I sucked in a deep breath before I turned to face the friends and coworkers who were watching us with sympathetic looks on their faces. Shit, I hated being the object of pity.

"Okay, after all that bullshit, I need cake!" I exclaimed. That got a laugh.

Les took my hand and pulled me to the center of the room. A moment later, Ella pushed out a beautiful three tiered cake decorated with blue flowers on a trolley draped in a snowy white linen tablecloth.

"Oh, Ella! It's gorgeous! How the heck did you do this in one day?" I asked.

Ella laughed and hugged me tightly. "For you and Lester, I would have done anything, my dear. I'm so very happy for you both. The bottom is chocolate, the middle is coconut and the top is vanilla. I baked a smaller one for you to freeze and eat on your one-year anniversary, so you can cut all of this one for your guests."

I stared at her in awe. "Will you adopt me?"

She just laughed and patted my cheek. "I would be honored. Luis and I would love to have you and Lester as our children. Now, you and your handsome husband need to cut your cake!"

I grinned and hugged her before turning back to a grinning Les. He was standing there with a big sword in his hand. "A sword?"

"Hal is letting us borrow his Marine Corps sword," he told me. "It's a high honor since most Marines are really twitchy about anyone else even touching their sword."

I went over to Hal and hugged him. "Thank you," I whispered in his ear.

"You're welcome," he said. "Just don't break it or I'll stun you this time!"

I grinned and kissed his cheek.

Les positioned me in front of him and had me wrap both of my hands around where his good arm was holding the sword. Then we lifted the sword and pulled it down through the towering confection of sugar.

I turned to look over my shoulder and grin at Les, and he leaned forward to kiss me. That got cheers of approval from everyone.

Hal was happy to take his sword back from us, and we both thanked him. "You're welcome. I figured if the rumors were true, and I knew they had to be once I saw Ella loading a giant cake into an SUV, that you'd need something to cut the cake. Don't worry, I cleaned it real good first."

Les bumped fists with him and I hugged him one more time. Ella finished cutting the cake into manageable chunks and handed us a plate with two forks.

"Swear to God, Lester Alejandro Santos, if you smash cake into my face, I will break your other arm," I threatened.

He grinned at my threat. "I promise, Beautiful. But that means you can't smash it into my face either."

"Promise!"

We fed each other cake and, as promise, neither of us smashed the other with cake, despite Lula's loud encouragement to the contrary. "Do you know how long I spent on my hair and makeup?" I shouted. "And I just bought this dress today!"

The crowd laughed and started banging on their beer bottles again. Les knew what it meant this time and quickly pulled me to him for a steamy kiss. We got loud cheers and whistles, and I finally pulled back with my face fire-engine red. Les had a cocky grin on his face. Smug bastard.

We hung out with our party guests for a while longer before I could see that Les, while a very good actor, appeared to be in some serious pain. His eyes were no longer the sparkling green that I loved but rather dulled with pain. He put up a good façade, I'll give him that, but I knew him too well at this point.

I caught Bobby's eye and nodded at him, trying to use my latent ESP to tell him that we needed to get Les home PDQ. Bobby nodded and headed my way. Huh. Guess I can send ESP messages, I just can't receive them.

Thirty seconds later, Bobby had made his way to our side. He looked at Les assessingly before he grunted at him. "Damn, man. How bad is it?"

Les shot me an accusing glance and I tried to look innocent. I probably failed, but whatever, it didn't matter. He was in pain and it need to be fixed. Now.

"Santos, how bad?" Bobby asked again. "You need the strong stuff or something a little milder?"

Les sighed. "Mild right now, probably some of the stronger stuff once we get home."

"What hurts?"

"Ribs feel like they're on fire. Just been on my feet too long, I'll be fine," Les said unconvincingly.

"So sit down and let me give you something," Bobby said. "Why didn't you say something earlier? It's a lot easier to manage pain if you stay on top of it, you know this."

Les rolled his eyes at Bobby but sat down with a relieved sigh. "I was having a good time with everyone, showing off a little, I guess. It just kind of hit me once things started to wind down a little," Les admitted.

I leaned down and kissed Les on the cheek. "Let Bobby take care of you, alright? I'll go say goodbye to the last few folks and be back in a few minutes."

I glanced back when I wondered off and saw Bobby already had Les's shirt sleeve rolled up and he was injecting something into his arm. Please God, let it work quick. I appreciate what Les tried to do, hell, what he did do, here, but not at the expense of him being in pain!

A few of our friends were still having a good time, but I had Hector cut the music and I walked over to chat with them. "Hey, guys," I said to the remaining partiers, who were mostly men in black along with Lula and Connie. "Sorry to be a party pooper, but I have to get Les home now. He's hurting pretty bad."

The Merry Men simply nodded and started straightening up the room.

Note to self: next time you throw a party, invite all of the Merry Men. Will make clean up much faster.

I spoke briefly with Lula and Connie and promised to call them once Les was doing better. They'd direct the 'Burg and Stark Streek gossip mills and would work them in my favor. It's good to have friends who are plugged in.

Only a few minutes later, I was back by Les's side as Bobby sat beside him. "Hey," I said softly as I trailed my hands across the healthy side of his back. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Beautiful," Les said without opening his eyes. "Bobby ignored me completely and gave me the good shit. So I should start seeing purple unicorns in a few minutes."

I shared a grin with Bobby, who nodded. "Don't try to lie to your medic, man. You were hurting more than you tried to let on, so I feel fully justified in drugging your ass," Bobby told him. "And there are more than enough guys here to get you home in one piece, so no worries."

"I'm with Bobby. Getting you home's going to suck if you're already in pain, so why not have you distracted by purple unicorns?" I said softly. "Bobby, you make the travel arrangements and I'll hang out with the unicorn whisperer."

Bobby grinned and jumped up. Bobby, Hal and Woody all but carried Les to the waiting SUV a few minutes later while I trailed behind uselessly. Bobby had his shoulders, Hal had his waist and Woody had his feet, so there wasn't really anything left for me to do.

Les kept trying to argue that he could walk, but that had been ruled out pretty quickly when his first attempt at walking had been worse than my first efforts in five-inch heels. I'd looked like a drunken minutes-old giraffe. Les looked even worse. Bobby quickly issued orders and Les was airborn, much to his dismay.

We got home and Bobby helped me get Les out of his party clothes. Once Bobby had wrapped his arm back up in the sling, Les was out like a light. It must have been some good drugs. Bobby stayed with him while I took a whirlwind shower and got ready for bed.

_**Author's note: **__And there's the Pino's party! What do you think?_

_Since you guys are so great, I thought I'd do my best to get this posted before the day gets really nuts. Hope you enjoy!_

_My first draft had it turning into a knock down, drag out as Morelli caused a major scene (much, MUCH worse than I ended up with here) and starting a fight when he tried to attack Steph and Les both verbally and physically. But in the end, as much as I don't like Joe with Steph romantically, I don't actually think he's a monster in disguise for the most part. I like using him as a plot device, but I don't think he's evil incarnate, so I just wasn't able in the end to write him that way. Oh well, maybe next time for the vehement anti-Cupcake peeps!_

_Please review, they're the only feedback and extrinsic rewards that fanfiction writers receive! Alas, no royalty checks for us. *Sigh*_


	31. Chapter 31

_**Chapter 31**_

Bobby elected to stay overnight in the guest room just in case Les had any problems overnight or needed to be topped off on the drugs. Les muttered in his sleep a few times, but I was able to calm him back down pretty quickly by petting his hair or rubbing his chest and abs. Yeah, there's a big hardship.

The next morning, Les was still in major pain when I woke up. He tried to pretend that he wasn't, macho ass that he was, but I could read him better than that by now.

"Liar. You're hurting. I can tell," I told him as I rolled carefully away from him and sat up. "So just skip the bullshit and tell me the truth."

"Jeez, someone woke up cranky," he replied snarkily.

"Nope, I only got cranky when you tried to lie to me. I can see it in your eyes that you're hurting, and hurting a lot. So you should mentally prepare yourself to just tell the truth while I go get Bobby," I told him. "Because you know that neither one of us will believe your bullshit."

He sighed and groused inaudibly while I straightened my silk jammies. I found Bobby in the kitchen eating some tasteless twigs and bark cereal.

"Morning, Bomber. How is he?" Bobby asked around his bite of icky healthy gunk.

"Pissy, in pain and full of bullshit," I said flatly. Bobby winced.

"Alright, welcome to world of Santos sickness, Steph. He's a great guy most of the time, but he's a total punk when he's sick or injured. So you just have to ignore his cranky comments and realize that they come from his frustration at being stuck in bed or whatever and unable to do what he's used to doing. It's not personal and he doesn't mean it, but he's a major pain in the ass when he's recuperating. Let me go deal with him," Bobby said as he shoveled in the last few bites of his breakfast.

"I'll come with you. I have to learn to deal with him in these moods, too," I said philosophically. The coffee was brewing, and I knew that caffeine would help me to feel more accepting of everything. "And you can knock his ass back out if he gets too bad, right?"

Bobby laughed and slung one arm around my shoulders. "Yep. And I've done it before, too."

Les looked even more cranky than when I'd left moments before. "'Bout damn time you got here," he grumped. "What took you so long?"

"Bombshell was explaining that you're in pain," Bobby said calmly, ignoring Les's less than gracious and welcoming comments. "What hurts and how bad?"

"My right big toe. What the fuck do you think hurts? My shoulder and my ribs hurt, man! Feels like fucking lava in my chest," Les groused.

"That's what I was afraid of. You did way too much way too soon, and now it's going to hurt like a bitch. I'll give you more painkillers and some anti-inflammatory meds, but your ass is staying in bed today and probably tomorrow except to go to the bathroom. Once the painkillers have kicked in a little, I'll examine you to make sure nothing shifted around and that your stitches are good, but it's probably just the strain of being up and around too much too soon," Bobby said soothingly.

Les narrowed his green eyes into a menacing glare. "The hell! I'm not staying in bed!"

Bobby just glowered back at him. "Hell yeah, you are. Get off your stubborn streak and accept reality. You can't fight me on this. If you try, I'll get guys here to hold you down while I knock your ass out. We've done that dance before and it didn't end well for you last time and it won't end well for you this time. It will only make you look stupid for ignoring the medic and make your ribs hurt worse. So just let me give you the damn drugs and then we'll get you some breakfast and to the bathroom before they kick in too much," Bobby told him in a firm, don't fuck with me voice.

If it wasn't for the fact that Les was in agony, I'd be thoroughly amused.

Les glared at him for a minute before letting out a loud sigh. "Fucker."

"Yeah, you too, Little Miss Sunshine. I'll go grab my med bag and your happy drugs. Be nice to Steph while I'm gone," he warned.

Then Bobby left me with an irate Les. Grrrreat. Guess this is the 'for worse' part of for better or for worse.

"Any idea what you might want for breakfast, honey?" I asked hesitantly after a few seconds of silence.

"Honey?"

"Seemed a nicer nickname than jerkface," I told him with a grin.

He stared at me in shock for a moment before finally shooting me a crooked grin. "I'm being an ass again, right?"

"Got it in one," I confirmed. "I know you're hurting, and I'm trying real hard not to take it personally, but yeah, you're being slightly ass-y again."

He sighed. "Sorry. It just hurts like a bitch and I thought I was past that."

I sat down beside him and took his good hand in both of mine. "You're hurting because you did something nice to help me. So I can handle you being an ass. But I can't handle you being in pain when there's something we can do to help, so you have to tell the truth about it. Deal?"

He squeezed my hand. "I'll try."

Bobby came back and gave Les the drugs. The strain on his ribs was intense, and even the heavy duty drugs didn't do as much as I'd like. But the only other option was to essentially knock him out, which Les categorically vetoed.

"I'll take it tonight if it's still bad, but I'm not going to sleep all the damn time," he insisted.

Bobby sighed but agreed. "Alright. But then the flip side is that you're going to take a dose of meds every four hours and you will not complain about it. And you will be increasing your fiber intake exponentially."

I looked at Bobby in confusion. "Fiber? I thought he needed protein to fix his muscles?"

Bobby laughed and Les glowered. "He does need protein, Bomber, but if you think he's cranky now, it's nothing compared to what he'll be like if the pain meds make him constipated on top of everything else. Trust me. Been there, done that."

I blushed bright red and Les groaned. "Shit, man, can't you keep anything to your damn self?"

"Shut up, Santos, I'm trying to make sure you can continue to shit!" Bobby retorted.

"On that note, I'm going to take a shower. Try not to kill each other while I'm gone," I told them as I implemented a strategic retreat. I did not need to know about that. At all.

I emerged thirty minutes later to find Les stretched out on the bed watching TV. Bobby was nowhere to be found.

"Hey, you feeling any better at all?" I asked as I sat down gingerly next to him.

He flicked off the TV and turned to look at me. "It's not quite as bad," he replied. Big, fat liar.

"You're lying," I said without accusation.

He sighed softly and rubbed his hand over his face. "Yeah. But I'm trying to be optimistic, hoping that the drugs will kick in soon and it won't be so bad."

"What can I do?"

"Nothing, baby. Bobby's gone to make breakfast and he'll check me over once I've eaten. Hopefully the drugs will have kicked in by then," he said as he took my hand in his. "I'm sorry I'm being an ass."

"I understand. I don't particularly like it," I warned, "but I do understand. I'm not exactly Susie Sunshine when I'm hurt or sick either, as you know."

That earned me a grin. "Yeah, I know."

"So I'll deal with you being cranky as long as you're honest."

"Fine. But the same goes for you if you're ever sick or hurt then, Beautiful," Les countered.

"Deal."

We chatted softly until Bobby came in carrying a tray of food for my poor Les. Les grimaced as he tried to sit up straighter, but an evil glare from Bobby made him relax back against the pillows.

"No, that's the right angle for your ribs, and you'll stay put right there," Bobby ordered. "Either Steph or I can help you eat."

I saw Les clench his jaw against saying something rude in response. He was trying to behave.

"I got it," I offered. Bobby just nodded and settled the tray over Les's lap. I spread the linen napkin over his chest and started feeding him the large pile of eggs, bacon and yogurt on the tray.

Les only made it through about half his breakfast before he said he needed to stop. That right there told me how crappy he truly felt.

Bobby nodded and returned a moment later with a large plastic bottle full of what looked like pond scum. My lips curled back involuntarily when I saw it and Les just whimpered.

"Sorry, man, but you know how it is," Bobby said apologetically to Les.

Les sucked in a deep breath, steeled his courage and chugged the whole bottle in one fell swoop. I had to fight the urge to gag watching him drink it.

"What the heck was that?" I finally asked once Les handed the bottle back to Bobby with a grimace of distaste. Bobby gave him a bottle of water and Les gratefully drank almost half of it.

"High protein, high fiber drink," Bobby said. "Tastes pretty damn awful but it'll help him get better, especially since the pain has him not able to eat as much."

"It looked like pond scum!"

"Tastes like it too," Les replied.

"Yeah, it's disgusting," Bobby agreed. "I've tried to make it less nasty, but nothing really helps. But to get that much protein, fiber and vitamins in one bottle isn't easy, and I guess there's just not a way to make it taste all that great."

"What about some of those diet drinks? Those are high protein and high fiber, and they aren't all that awful," I offered. "Could he drink those instead?"

Bobby shook his head. "He'd have to drink about fifteen of them to get the protein he got in that one bottle. It's a special supercharged protein blend for lifters that I've tweaked for the guys when they're hurt. Better to drink one bottle of this shit than twenty bottles of the other stuff, especially since the other stuff actually has a lot of sugar in it."

I shook my head. "I think I'd rather drink twenty bottles of chocolate flavored protein shakes than one bottle of pond scum, but that's just me."

"Then we'd have to get you up to piss every twenty minutes," Bobby countered. "And you've had broken ribs, would you want to have to move around that much?"

Alright, he's got me there. Broken ribs hurt like crazy, and I wouldn't want to have to get up and down that often if they hurt as bad as Les's hurt. I'd only ever had minor broken ribs and then only two, but it had been almost unbearable. Les's ribs were in much worse shape than mine had been.

I slid off the bed and took the breakfast tray back into the kitchen while Bobby checked Les out. I came back and sat in the chair in the corner and caught the last half of the extremely thorough exam.

"Doesn't look like there's any change," Bobby finally said. "Everything looks like it should. You just overdid it way too fast, man. You have to slow down, understand that your body took one hell of a beating, and it's going to take a while to start to heal. And you ain't there yet. So stay in bed today and tomorrow and we'll see how you're doing after that."

Les groaned but nodded slowly, acquiescing because he knew he couldn't really fight Bobby on this. He clearly felt like shit and if he wanted to not feel like that, he had to do what Bobby ordered.

"So let's get you to the bathroom now, then you can try to sleep or at the very least, get some rest," Bobby said as he pulled the blankets back and helped Les stand up very slowly.

While they were gone, I hurriedly straightened up the bed for Les. I didn't have enough time to change the sheets, and I'd just changed them a few days ago, but I did smooth them out before the guys were back.

Les was pale when he finally slid back between the covers, but at least he didn't look like he was going to puke, so he wasn't all the way back to where he'd been when we'd first got him home. That's something, right?

The next two days were pretty rough. Thank God for Bobby, because I'd have either lost my mind or strangled Les without Bobby's calm presence for part of the day. Les hated being stuck in bed, but Bobby was implacable that he needed to give his ribs and muscles a little time to recover from the overexertion of dinner with my family and then the party.

Finally, Bobby consented to let him start getting back up and moving around the house again. I thought that would help, and it did, but only slightly. Les was completely bored. This is a guy used to working out for hours daily, and being extremely active for much of the rest of his day. Sitting on his ass watching TV or reading quickly grew old, even though I tried to keep him from going too nuts.

Connie called and we caught up on the gossip. Apparently, most everyone, except for my mom and the Morelli faction of Joe, Joe's mom and his scary grandma Bella, all thought that my elopement with Les was wildly romantic. We were the talk of the 'Burg, of course, like that was anything new, but it was mostly positive.

Some of the biddies insisted that I was either pregnant, which the vast majority of folks didn't believe after Les's announcement at Pino's and the fact that I'd drunk several beers, or that I was a gold digging tramp just using Les for his money. If they only knew how much he had, they'd be all over that rumor. Most people didn't believe the last rumor much either, since, as Connie had pointed out dozens of times she said, Joe had pressured me to marry him and move into his house constantly for years and I always refused, even when things were really slow at the bond's office.

I appreciated the fact that she was fighting the rumors. I'm a lucky girl to have such good friends!

"So any new skips for me?" I finally asked. On the one hand, I needed to earn my own money even though Les swore to high heaven that I could never spend all the money he had saved. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure Les would lose his ever lovin' mind if I was gone all day right now and he was left to his own devices.

"No, sorry, hon. Just a few real low-level repeaters, and Lula's been taking care of those, and a couple of nasty ones that RangeMan took. Vinnie's still gone all the time, so he's not bonding anyone out. I don't know what's going on, but it's got to be something big. I'm actually starting to get really worried about poor Lucille. Bad enough she's married to that little prick, but there's got to be something bad wrong for her to be calling him home all the time," Connie replied.

That set my Spidey senses tingling, but there was really nothing for me to do to try to figure it out. I didn't want to leave Les, and especially not to spy on my slimeball cousin and his long-suffering wife.

"Alright, well, just call me if anything changes," I told her.

Connie or Lula called me every couple of days, but not because there were any new skips. They just wanted to check in on us and see if we needed anything. I think they partially wanted to see our house, but I didn't think Les was up for company yet, or at least not company from the girls. The guys came by regularly and he seemed okay with them, but I didn't think he was up for managing Connie and Lula just yet.

_**Author's note: **__ Poor Les just isn't the world's greatest patient, is he?_

_So what do you think's going on with Vinnie?_

_Just a warning, tomorrow's going to be NUTS with 30 kids here for orientation. As a comparison, a normal session is typically ~15, so I'm not sure why so many signed up for today and tomorrow. I'll do my best to post the next chapter tomorrow, but don't be alarmed if I can't. I'll be trying not to lose my mind while I try to explain the collegiate facts of life to 30 kids._

_Please review! They make me smile, and with the day I'm probably going to have with 30 kids arriving in 30 minutes, I need all the smiles I can get!_


	32. Chapter 32

_**Chapter 32**_

Finally, after a couple of more days of mind-numbing boredom, it was time for Les's doctor's appointment. Bobby drove us since he needed to hear everything too.

After reading the same issue of National Geographic three times, we finally got called back to the exam room.

A doctor who looked like he could have been one of the Merry Men ten years ago rushed in a bit later. "I'm sorry for the wait, there was an accident and I got called to the hospital to help put together a couple of teens who weren't wearing seatbelts and managed to break a little bit of everything," the doctor said.

"It's cool, man," Bobby said as he did the one-armed guy hug. Les bumped fists when the doctor.

"So, Santos, how are you doing?" the doctor asked. "And more importantly, who's this lovely lady?"

Les growled and Bobby laughed. "He got married, can you believe it?" Bobby said.

Doctor cutie's jaw dropped. "Lester Santos got married? I figured it would be a cold day in hell before that happened!"

I rolled my eyes. "You do know I can hear you, right?" I asked aloud.

The doctor laughed at me. "Josh Evans, at your service, my dear," he said with a courtly bow.

"I'm Stephanie," I replied as I shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Dr. Evans."

"Oh, no formality. Just Josh is fine. Wait, Stephanie? You couldn't possibly be Stephanie Plum?" he asked.

I nodded and Josh shook his head. "I've heard a lot about you."

"It wasn't my fault!"

Both Les and Bobby started laughing at that. "Baby, it's never your fault. I don't know why weird shit happens around you, but it does," Les said affectionately as he took my hand in his and pulled me to him for a kiss.

"He's got it bad," Josh said as an aside to Bobby.

"You have no idea," Bobby agreed.

"We can still hear you!" I said against Les's lips.

"She's spunky, I like her. She'll keep in line," Josh said. After that, he shifted from joking into medical mode and started his exam.

After lots of poking and prodding, he sent Les off for another set of x-rays. Once he reviewed them, he came back in smiling. "Everything's looking good. I want you to try to keep those ribs and arm babied a little longer, but you can start minimal physical therapy in about two weeks. I'll give Brown instructions or we can hook you up with a physical therapist. Any questions?"

"Sex," Les said bluntly.

I blushed a fluorescent fuchsia and Bobby groaned loudly.

"Yeah? You want me to explain the birds and the bees to you again?" Josh joked.

Les was not in a joking mood. "No. I know that part. Can I do it?"

I buried my face in my hands and moaned.

"Wait, how long have you been married?" Josh asked.

"Less than six weeks," Les replied.

Josh started laughing uproariously. "God, man, that sucks!" he said sympathetically.

"Yeah," Les said in a slightly bitter tone. "Worst. Timing. Ever."

That made Josh start laughing again. Once he got himself under control, he finally answered. "Yeah, I think it'll be okay. Just no acrobatics or any wild and crazy shit. And she's going to have to do most of the work for now at least, but I doubt you'll complain."

That's when I started praying for the ground to open and swallow me whole. I know it's not California, but we _can_ get earthquakes in Jersey, right? I should have paid more attention in my rocks for jocks geology class back in freshman year of college.

"Just don't be stupid," Josh lectured. "If it hurts, stop. I know you're still newlyweds and all, but going at it like bunnies would be a bad idea right now if you want your ribs to heal. But slow, gentle sex should be okay. Your ribs will let you know if it's too much, believe me."

"Bobby, can I borrow your gun?" I finally asked during the silence.

"No," Bobby replied instantly, his hand flying to his hip to secure his gun. "Last time someone let you borrow something, you used Hal's own weapon against him!"

"I'm just going to shoot myself," I told him.

"Then hell no," Bobby replied. "Maybe if you were going to shoot Santos."

Josh was grinning. "She shot Hal?"

"No, she stunned him. With his own stun gun," Bobby explained. "Long story, I'll tell you over beers some night."

"Yeah, she's a keeper," Josh opined. "Just be gentle with him, Stephanie."

I groaned again. "No, I'm going to kill him!"

Josh and Bobby laughed, and I looked up to see Les looking a little sheepish. "Sorry, baby, but Brown's a damn prude as far as that's concerned and he runs away when I try to ask him if I'm okay for sex. And you won't let me near you until you know that I'm medically cleared. So I had to ask."

"Argh!" I exclaimed, becoming intensely fascinated by the floor again.

"When did you turn into a prude?" Josh asked Bobby.

"He's my brother, but she's like my little sister. So it's just not right to see them make out!" Bobby exclaimed. "It's just wrong!"

Josh shook his head. "Then I suggest you clear the premises. Or I can find you a good therapist. 'Cause I can just about guarantee that they'll be doing more than just making out now!"

"Damn straight!" Les exclaimed.

I shot him an evil glare. "That's what you think!"

"Aww, baby, don't be mad!" Les tried to cajole. I crossed my arms and ignored him.

"Leave it be, man," Josh advised. "I've been married for eleven years, and when Amy looks at me like that, it's time to just shut the hell up. I recommend groveling later, much later."

I was completely mortified and ready to kill Les for bringing it up in front of both me and Bobby. I figured he'd ask about sex, but I'd assumed that he'd ask for a little privacy first or at least phrase it as aerobic activity or something. Not just straight up asking if he can have sex with me.

We left and I let Les hold my hand, but I was too embarrassed to speak much. And I couldn't stand to look at Bobby, which was fine, since he didn't seem to be able to look at me either.

"Shit, you're not actually going to kill him, are you, Bomber?" Bobby asked as we rolled to a stop at the house.

I shrugged and got out of the SUV. "Haven't decided yet." I called out as I walked into the house.

I locked myself in the bathroom and took a bath, trying to let go of my embarrassment and a little anger at the way Les had handled that particular conversation. After soaking for half an hour, I was ready to forgive and forget if Les was willing to admit that he could have handled it better. I certainly could have handled it better, but hell, it was extremely awkward and upsetting to have everyone talking about my sex life (or the lack thereof) in front of me!

Once I was dressed in lounge pants and a t-shirt, I wandered out to find Les in the living room watching TV. He turned it off as soon as he heard me walk in.

"Beautiful, you okay?" he asked, his green eyes flashing with concern.

I just shrugged.

"Come here, baby. Please," he said as he held out a hand to me. I walked over and started to sit beside him, but he pulled me into his lap instead.

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you," he said against my hair. "I didn't think it all the way through, I just desperately needed to know if we could finally be together."

"I know," I murmured against his chest. "But they way you did it was mortifying, Les! I don't want everyone to know about our sex life!"

His arms tightened around me. "I know. I'm sorry. Do you forgive me for being so blunt?"

I nodded and felt him relax. "Thank you, baby. I really am sorry."

"I know." We stayed cuddled together for a while until a timer in the kitchen beeped.

"What's that?" I asked as I shifted off his lap.

"Dinner. I put a frozen lasagna from Tia Ella in as soon as Bobby left. Should be ready now, if you're hungry. If not, it'll keep until later."

"Now's good," I told him. "I can always eat."

I got the crooked grin that made my heart skip a beat. I couldn't help but smile back, and then I got a full-on smile from him. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too," I told him. "Even if you do make me contemplate murder at times."

He pulled out a big bowl of salad, ick, while I set the table and the lasagna cooled down. But then he also handed me a bottle of red wine and asked me if I could do the honors so it could breathe while we finished getting dinner ready. I managed to get it uncorked without knocking the cork into the bottle, yay me.

After a couple of glasses of wine and two big servings of Ella's fantastic lasagna, I'd almost forgotten why I'd been mad at Les. When he pulled out a plate of tiramisu from the fridge, all was completely forgiven.

"Tia Ella has adopted you, Beautiful," Les said as he sat the plate down in front of me. I licked my lips and grinned at him.

"Marrying you had to come with some perks," I teased.

He kissed my nose. "Maybe one or two," he agreed as he took a bite. I grabbed my fork and dove in before he could eat it all.

Completely full of wonderful food and feeling slightly buzzed from the wine, we put up the food and just stacked the dishes in the sink before relaxing on the couch. I guess I relaxed a little too much, because Les shook me awake a while later.

"Come on, Beautiful, let's go to bed," he said softly. "I can't carry you to bed right now, so you've got to wake up and walk there."

"Hmm? Oh, okay," I said with a yawn. "Sorry I fell asleep on you."

He brushed a kiss against my lips. "It's fine, baby. I'm sorry I had to wake you, but I can't just pick you up and take you to bed yet."

Les held his hand out to me and I took it. I used the bathroom and brushed my teeth while Les to locked up the house and set the alarms.

While he was in the bathroom getting ready for bed, I changed into one of the 'presents' I'd bought for him when I'd gone out shopping with Mary Lou before our party at Pino's. It was a blue silk nightie with ivory lace. God only knew I wasn't a virgin, so a white set seemed a little too cliché for me. But it was undeniably sexy and I felt like a goddess in it, so I figured I wouldn't hear any complaints.

I fluffed the pillows and settled myself into a sexy pose as I lay on my side facing the bathroom door.

Les came out a minute later, clad only in a pair of black boxers. He made it about four steps across the room before my outfit and provocative pose sprawled across the sheets hit him.

He froze and his jaw dropped. I shot him a wicked smile as his eyes traveled from the tips of my toes to the top of my head, and back again, lingering at a few key locales.

"See something you like?" I finally asked when it became apparent he wasn't going to say anything.

"Jesus, Beautiful! You're beautiful!"

"Thank you," I murmured.

He just continued to look at me, a flush staining his cheeks as his eyes darkened. Little Les obviously liked what he saw.

"You planning to stand there all night?" I asked as I crooked my finger at him.

He was by my side instantly. "Hell no! But you said at the doctor's office… I mean, I thought… I didn't want to pressure you…" he mumbled. "Aww, shit!" he finally managed to get out before he traced my face with the calloused tips of his uninjured hand.

"I told you I forgave you for being dumb," I reminded him as I kissed his fingers as they skimmed over my lips.

"I'm a lucky man," he said softly.

"About to be, if your ribs can take it," I rejoined.

His lips met mine in a searing kiss that left no doubt in my mind that his ribs could take it. Whether or not mine could was debatable given how hard my heart was pounding my in chest.

I wrapped my arms around his chest, careful to keep from putting any pressure on his sore side, and tugged until he was leaning back against the mound of pillows, and I was straddling his thighs. We continued to kiss hungrily, nipping playfully with our lips and teeth.

I finally pulled back with a moan, fighting to get enough oxygen into my lungs. He simply moved his lips from my lips to my neck and I shuddered as his nipped hard at his favorite spot on my neck. I was sure that would leave a mark. And I was sure he was doing it for that reason, the macho Neanderthal part of him feeling the urge to mark me as his.

Strangely, I couldn't work up enough ire to be mad about it when his lips were on my neck and his hands were massaging my hips through the thin silk of my nightie.

I raked my nails down his chest and he shuddered and growled against my neck. "Oh, God, baby," he moaned.

Oh, I liked hearing him moan like that. So I did it again. He moaned louder. Yeah, my ThunderCat liked being scratched.

We'd had plenty of practice making out during our enforced celibacy, but knowing that the looooong dry spell, for both of us, was about to end made it feel very different somehow.

When he sucked in a gasp, my eyes popped open and I leaned back so I could see his face. "You okay?" I couldn't tell whether that was a gasp of 'ohmigod, don't stop!' or of 'ohmigod, that hurt, stop!'

"Great," he replied as he stretched up to capture my lips with his. His injured arm was still sore and while he could move it some, it was weak, so he left it on my hip. But his good arm worked just fine, thank you very much, and he began working it up under the edge of my gown to stroke my bare back.

I moaned at the sensation of his slightly rough hand against my back and felt the hand at my hip clench tighter.

He pulled back slightly to look in my eyes. "I love you, baby."

I smiled and kissed him. "I love you, too."

He got a big, goofy grin on his face. "God, you don't know how much I want you, Beautiful!"

Since I was more or less straddling him, I kind of did. So I rocked my hips against him. "I can guess," I said with a grin of my own.

His eyes got even darker as his grin turned predatory. "No need to guess, let me show you."

Gulp.

"Help me get this off," he commanded in a gravely voice as he worked the material of my nightie up towards my rib cage. I reached down and helped him pull it over my head.

He growled and said something in Spanish that I didn't catch before capturing both of my hands in his big hand while they were still over my head.

"Les!" I squeaked.

He groaned and bent his neck and begin pressing hot, open mouth kisses along my collar bone.

"Lift up on your knees for me, baby, please," he said in that same commanding tone that made me want to throw him down and ride him like Zorro.

"What?" All my blood had rushed to other places, and there wasn't enough left in my brain to process rational thought.

"Lift up on your knees," he repeated as he released my hands and slid his hand down my back to my ass, urging me up. I shifted forward on my knees, moving up several inches.

Les groaned as my breasts moved closer to him. Ah, gotcha.

I had to wrap my arms around his neck to keep my balance when he started suckling on the aching tips of my breasts, alternating between them. After several minutes, my thighs were quivering from the strain of keeping myself steady and I wasn't sure how much longer I could take this torture.

"Please, Les," I begged, almost whimpering with need.

He lifted his head to look at me. "Please what, baby? What do you need?"

"I need you."

He groaned loudly this time and I swear if his eyes got any darker, or his pupils any bigger, there wouldn't be any green left.

"I need you, too, Beautiful," he growled in a voice so low that Barry White would have been jealous. I ground against him involuntarily and he jerked his hip against me. "Ah, God, baby."

I scooted away from him, which drew a slight whimper from him, and reached for the waistband of his black silk boxers. He lifted his hips and I slid them down his muscular hips and thighs.

I licked my lips and reached out to touch him, but he clamped a hand over my wrist to stop me. "No, Beautiful. You touch me now, and it's game over. We'll have plenty of time to play more later."

I had a giddy smile on my face at the thought of more playtime later and he pulled me back up against his chest for a hot, toe curling kiss that left me writhing against him. "Now you get out of yours!" he ordered.

"You don't want to unwrap your present?" I managed in a trembling tone.

Les dropped his eyes to my hips and got a wickedly dangerous grin when he saw that my barely there g-string panties tied at the sides. He reached out both hands and grasped the ends of the bows and pulled on the strings, untying them. They fell off and his grin grew wider.

"Damn, I love this present!" he growled before he threw the scrap of lace off the edge of the bed and pulled me back against him.

"Thought you might," I managed to whisper before my mouth was otherwise occupied. By his tongue.

I couldn't control my hips as his lips were working their magic and his hands clutched my hips. I undulated against him, drawing a long, low, rumbling moan from deep in his chest.

"Your ribs okay?" I panted.

"Dandy," he muttered as his hands pressed my hips more tightly against his.

I wiggled to get more comfortable and he groaned. "You're killing me here!"

I wiggled more, dragging my soaking center across his very enthusiastically saluting soldier. He groaned again and clamped down hard on my hips.

"Please, baby, I'm begging you! Don't torture me! I'm only a man, and a man who desperately wants to make love to his wife!"

At the word wife, we both froze for a second. This was it. Our official wedding night, even though the wedding was weeks ago.

Then he leaned forward slightly and kissed me, softly and gently. The passion of a minute ago was still there, but banked for the moment. "My wife," he whispered against my lips. "I've never made love to my wife before."

I sucked in a deep breath. I'd had sex with The Dick, but I don't know that we could count that as making love since I'd never really loved him, I'd only loved the fact that I'd finally made my mom proud of me.

"And I've never really made love to my husband before," I said softly.

I saw the question in his eyes. He knew I'd been married before. "I didn't love him. Not like I love you."

He wrapped his good hand around my neck and pulled me to him. "I love you, Beautiful, more than anything."

I shifted forward, one hand on his shoulder to keep my balance while the other wrapped around him to position him where I needed him. As I sank down on him, I replied. "I love you, too, Lester Santos, more than anything."

Then we were incapable of anything but moans and groans as I finally got my wish and got to ride him like Zorro. I tried my best to remember what the doctor said and keep it gentle, but damn, it was hard. In more ways than one.

I tried to keep my rhythm steady, but frankly, I was just trying to keep from passing out on his chest and hurting him.

He worked his good arm between us, and started stroking me in tandem with my thrusts. After just a few more, I could feel the tension that had been simmering slowly erupt into full boil. I jerked hard against him as every muscle in my body contracted at once. I was dimly aware of him thrusting his hips up against mine and calling out my name, but my brain could only handle one thing at a time, and the waves of pure bliss took priority.

I slumped against him, panting hard, and immediately tried to roll off him lest I hurt his ribs. He stopped me with a whispered "shh" and gently slid his arm out from between us and cuddled me to him.

After a few minutes, my heart rate had finally declined from stroke level to almost normal and I felt capable of quasi-intelligent conversation again. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, baby. Never felt better," he said as his chest rumbled under my cheek. "You okay?"

"Wonderful," I purred.

He chuckled softly. "Wow."

"Yeah. Wow," I said as I slid off his chest. He made a noise of complaint, but I shushed him this time. "If we want to be able to do that again later, and I for one would like to, then we need to be careful with your ribs."

"Okay, but only because I really, really want to do that again later," he said as he extended his arm so I could rest my head on his uninjured shoulder.

"How do you feel?" I asked again.

"There aren't words," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "I mean, do your ribs hurt? And tell me the truth, mister."

"A little bit of strain, but really, it's nothing," he said. "_That_ was most definitely worth a little strain, baby!"

"Glad you think so, but how about I get you a couple of ibuprofen and then we try to get a little rest? You wore me out!"

I got a cocky grin. "So you need to rest before round two?"

I shot him a look. "I'll take that as a yes," he answered for himself.

Smart man. I stood up with a slight wince, which eagle eyes Santos caught. "Beautiful?"

"Just a little sore."

"Why? What happened?" he demanded.

"Oh, just been a long time since I went horseback riding," I said over my shoulder as I headed into the bathroom in search of the ibuprofen and a cup of water. I smiled when I heard his self-satisfied laughter follow me, and took a minute to use the bathroom and clean up a little before heading back out.

Les took his meds begrudgingly before we curled up together, naked and sated, and feel asleep.

_**Author's note: **__Sorry for the delay, but real life kicked me in the tushy last week. But on the plus side, my muse turned her attention to my dissertation and I completed my re-write of chapter four. Yay! So that's turned in now and I'm anxiously awaiting comments, hopefully positive this time, from my director. But hopefully I'll be back to my regular schedule now. To make up for my delay, I decided not to split this into two chapters, as I had originally considered, and to go ahead and let poor Les and Steph have their wedding night!_

_So what do you think? Please review! _


	33. Chapter 33

_**Chapter 33**_

The next two weeks were both heaven and hell. Heaven because as amazing as Les was at kissing, that was nothing compared to him when we could do the fully Monty. Even if I had to do most of the work for the main event, the things the man could do even with only one arm fully functional were simply amazing. And as he'd joked to Bobby before, his lips still worked just fine. Boy, did they work just fine.

I'm getting a hot flash just thinking about it.

And hell because despite being newlyweds, you can't have sex all the time, especially with his ribs still healing, despite his best attempts to convince me otherwise, and he was bored out of his mind the rest of the time. He couldn't work out more than slow walking on the treadmill, which was sheer torture for a guy used to running, sparring, lifting weights and all kinds of other exercises.

I kept trying to get him to go out places with me, but he was reluctant to do that because he didn't feel like he could protect me well enough right now. I tried to tell him that I could protect myself, and him, but he didn't want to chance us running into an old skip who'd take advantage of the fact that Les was somewhat incapacitated right now to exact revenge.

But we did take advantage of the time spent at home to get the house mostly unpacked. The guys brought over the boxes of stuff Les had in storage and we spent a few days getting things unpacked. It was mostly boxes and boxes of books that went on the rows of bookcases he'd had the contractor add in the office.

The house still needed permanent furniture, and we went out together with Bobby and Cal once Les's ribs were doing well enough that he could handle being out for a few hours. We'd send the rental stuff back and get the stuff we picked out together delivered at the end of the month when the rental period was up.

We had a good time picking out the bedroom furniture for the guest bedroom, must to Bobby's dismay. Cal found it thoroughly amusing to watch Bobby blush when we cuddled on the beds to make sure they were comfy. It got even funnier when Cal jokingly tried to get Bobby to cuddle with him on a big bed to make sure it would work. If looks could kill… well, let's just say that Bobby wouldn't have expended any energy trying to resuscitate Cal.

We were sitting on the couch watching our 3,476th movie, or so it felt like, when my cell phone rang.

"Hey, Connie," I answered when I saw who it was.

"Hi, Steph," Connie replied, but her voice sounded odd. "Any chance you could come to the office right now?"

I sat up and shot a concerned look at Les. "Yeah, maybe. Why?"

"Um, Harry's here and he'd like to discuss something with us as soon as possible. So could you please get here right away?"

"Harry? As in Harry the Hammer?"

Les turned off the TV and turned to look at me, one eyebrow cocked questioningly.

"Yeah. And he's got another meeting this evening, so you need to hurry, please, Steph."

"Connie, are you okay? Should I call in the SWAT team or something?"

She laughed. "No. It's fine. Just please get here as soon as you can."

"Okay," I said slowly, and she hung up.

"Okay, that was beyond weird," I told Les. "That was Connie. Harry the Hammer's there and wants me to get to the office ASAP to meet with him. Connie didn't say why, just that I needed to hurry."

Les stared at me for a minute. "You're not going without me," he said softly, "and backup."

I stared at him for a minute before nodding. "It's probably fine without it, but okay."

Les looked surprised at my ready agreement, but he was too smart to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Alright, I'll call in for backup and you go get changed."

I kissed him quickly and dashed towards the bedroom to change into something more appropriate for meeting with my boss's boss and a Mob boss than Hello Kitty lounge pants I'd gotten on sale at Target for $3.

Ten minutes later, I swiped on the last coat of mascara and headed out. Les was wearing his man in black uniform and looked ready to invade a third world country. He rarely wore the sling anymore unless his arm was aching, and the sling was definitely missing now. No point in showing weakness unnecessarily, I guess. He looked like he could kick ass all day long.

"Hal and Woody will meet us there," he told me as we headed towards the door.

It wasn't long before we pulled up outside the bond's office. I saw the SUV with Hal and Woody already parked down the street. I bet there were enough weapons in there to start World War III.

I walked in with Les hot on my heels.

I'd only met Harry a few times in the past, but he prided himself on acting like a gentleman. "Stephanie," he said as he stood and extended his hand. "So nice to see you again. Thank you for coming on such short notice."

"Hello, Harry. It's nice to see you again. Have you met Lester Santos? I don't know if you've heard, but we just got married a couple of months ago."

Harry shook hands with Les. "Yes, I heard that you married one of the owners of RangeMan. Nice to meet you, Mr. Santos."

"Call me Les," Les said with a slight smile on his blank face.

"Then please call me Harry," Harry offered as he gestured towards the couch. "I suppose you're curious why I asked you to come down today?"

I nodded. Connie and Lula were sitting in office chairs and they both looked insatiably curious.

"Yes. I'm assuming it has something to do with the fact that Vinnie has been out of the office so much recently," I offered.

Harry nodded, his silver hair bobbing gently. "Yes. Lucille is pregnant with twins, and she's having a really difficult pregnancy."

My eyes went wide but I just managed to keep my jaw from dropping.

Lula was not as adept at controlling her shock. "Holy shit! Vinnie's having kids?"

Harry sighed. "Yes. He's definitely not the man I would have chosen for my only daughter, but she loves him, God knows why. But at her age, being pregnant for the first time with twins is a very high-risk pregnancy, which is why Vinnie's been gone so much. And it worries Lucille that he'd have to leave to bond out people late at night, on weekends, you know how it is, while she's pregnant and once the babies are here, so Vinnie and I have decided that it would be best for him to get out of the bond business."

Yeah, I just bet Vinnie had decided that. If that was Lucille wanted, Lucille's dad would make sure she got what she wanted, regardless of what Vinnie wanted.

"So you're closing us down?" Connie asked in a tremulous voice.

Harry shook his head. "No. It's a good business and it's good for the community. But I don't want Lucille worried about Vinnie missing time with his family, so Vinnie will be moving on to a business venture with me that has more regular hours. But I'd like to discuss ways to keep the office open and running without Vinnie."

We all took a moment to think about that. "Well, Connie can write bonds," I offered. "She could take over running it."

Connie immediately shook her head. "No way, hon. I'm fine with running the front office and writing bonds for Vinnie, but I don't think I want to be in charge. I don't have that much of a head for business."

"Stephanie, I understand you have a degree in business administration?" Harry said.

I blinked at him for a minute. "Yes, but surely you don't think…" I trailed off.

"Why not? You know about business and you know about how bail bonds work. Vinnie got his start skip tracing, and you've been a bounty hunter for several years now. You have a great rate. And with your connection to RangeMan, you could always count on them for assistance if necessary," Harry said smoothly.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "So you're offering me this because I'm married to Les?"

Harry shook his head with a smile. "No. I'd offer you the position regardless, but your marriage to Mr. Santos definitely won't hurt things. And it could continue to be known as Plum Bail Bonds since that was your maiden name, so it wouldn't need to be renamed and possibly confuse clients."

I turned to look at Les. "We would need to have our attorney review a contract first, of course," Les said.

"Of course," Harry said. "I brought a copy of Vinnie's contract for you to review. Perhaps we can meet early next week to discuss any alterations to it? Assuming that you're interested."

I nodded slowly. "I'll at least review the contract," I replied softly.

"Thank you for considering it, Stephanie. I do prefer to keep things in the family, and you're part of the extended family as Vinnie's cousin," Harry said as he stood and handed me a manila folder. "Please call me when you're read to discuss it further."

Then he was gone.

"Holy crap!" I exclaimed once he was gone. "I don't know what to be more shocked about: Vinnie's procreating or Harry asked me to take over the office!"

Les barked out a laugh and pulled me close. "Me either."

Lula was looking at me in shock. "You gotta do it, white girl! Who else is going to keep a full figured, fabulous woman like me on?"

I blinked at her. "Let me look it over first, okay, Lula? I'd want to talk about it with Les and his lawyer before I agree to anything."

"Alright, Steph," she said softly. "But just think how fun it would be! And you could fire that skank whore Joyce!"

My eyes widened at that. I could! That was definitely a point in favor of it, but I didn't know whether that would be enough to tip the scales or not.

I looked over at Connie. "You sure you don't want to talk to Harry about it? You've been here longer than I have."

She shook her head definitely, but her hair didn't move in the slightest. Mega hold, indeed. "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't mind helping out and writing bonds, but I don't want all the responsibility. Plus, my family would expect me to bond out anyone who got put in jail if I ran the place and it would be awfully hard to refuse. If you're the boss, I can just say that it's not completely up to me and they stay off my case. You're not Family, so they wouldn't bother you about, I don't think," she explained.

Then she shot me a grin. "But I wouldn't mind a raise, boss!"

I laughed. "Yeah, who would? Wow, it's a lot to take in. Let me think about it and look this over. I'll let you guys know once we've met with Harry, okay? But let's keep it real quiet until then, please."

I went home in a bit of a daze. Les made some sort of chicken, beans and rice dish that tasted delicious and then we sat down at the table and looked over the contract. Basically, Vinnie had full control over the business and made quarterly reports to Harry. Vinnie didn't draw a salary, but rather earned a percentage of the profits. Fifty percent went to Harry, and fifty percent went to Vinnie.

Les thought we could work out a better arrangement with Harry regarding profit sharing. That was outside my area of expertise, so I didn't know.

We reviewed the financial records, and Vinnie actually made a pretty damn good amount of money. He hadn't given Connie, Lula or me a raise in years, but he continued to rake in the dough. Rat bastard.

"Could I still bring in my regular skips if I took over the office?" I asked Les.

He nodded. "I don't see why not. That's what Vinnie did when he first got started and he couldn't afford to have a recovery agent. But he used to stay fairly busy, so you wouldn't have the time to do as much as you used to. But easy people like Mooner, sure."

"Who would take the mid-range people I used to handle? Lula can't handle them without either shooting someone or getting herself killed, and RangeMan won't take jobs that low," I asked.

Les shrugged. "We have plenty of contract workers who we can't use full time who would be good BEAs for you. You could start by interviewing some of them," he suggested. "They're mostly ex-military like we are but we just don't have room for everyone who's good."

I nodded slowly. If I hired a couple of guys like that to freelance, that would cover the mid-range. Lula could handle the low-range skips except for the ones with sentimental value for me, like Mooner and Sally Sweet, and Les and the RangeMen could continue to handle the high dollar and dangerous skips.

"I couldn't do distractions with you guys as easily," I mused. "The skips would all know me if I bonded them out."

Les nodded. "That's true. But you haven't done any since Ranger's been gone, so would it really be that big of a change?"

I shook my head. No, not really. Of course, I hadn't been asked to do any since Ranger had left either. Guess he'd told Tank to not hire me for anything while he was gone, not that Tank had said anything to me about it. Tank might be able to ignore the order to keep the guys from hanging out with me during their free time, but he couldn't ignore an order about the business.

"And with your instincts, you'll probably be great at this, if you want to do it!" Les said. "You might get a sense whether someone would actually show up in court or skip out and you could decide whether to issue the bond or not."

"Spidey senses," I corrected with a wink.

He chuckled. "Right, your Spidey senses," he smirked.

Hmm. It might cut down on my rolling in garbage, I'd get to fire Joyce's fat ass, I'd still get to hang out with Connie and Lula and I'd make more money. So far, so good.

"So we'll get your lawyer to look at it and go from there?" I suggested.

"I'll fax it to him first thing tomorrow," Les promised.

_**Author's note: **__And here's the big secret of Vinnie's mysterious absence from the office! For those of you who were peeved that I didn't have Steph join RangeMan, here's why. _

_I'm in a day-long meeting tomorrow, but I plan to take my laptop with me so I can try to sneak in my update. As long as I look serious and nod thoughtfully while I'm typing, it should be all good. Ah, the exciting world of academia, huh?_

_I'll also begin posting this and other future stories (as well as past ones, once I get a bit of free time) at The Plum Archives at (no www) plum . meta101 . com just in case my stories get yanked for being too mature. I sincerely hope not, since I love FFN, but just in case, you guys can find me there. Plus it's a cool new site with no restrictions – please check it out! I'm Angela3511 there as well (all my imagination goes to writing, not to thinking up screen names, as you can see)._

_So… what do you think? Hit the big blue review button, please!_


	34. Chapter 34

_**Chapter 34**_

The lawyer laughed when he first saw the contract and asked what kind of blackmail the guy had on Vinnie. Once I explained about the duck and being Harry's son-in-law, he nearly died laughing. "The old man really had him by the short hairs, huh?" the lawyer, Marco, asked.

I just nodded with a grin. Undoubtedly.

Once he got himself under control, Marco promised that he could do much better, and he did.

We met with Harry and Harry's lawyer on Tuesday afternoon, and I walked out the new managing operator of (Stephanie) Plum Bail Bonds. Harry'd get 25% of the profit and I'd get the remaining 75%. Marco drove a hard bargain, and Harry really didn't have much leverage with me. I had no inappropriate relationships with livestock (shudder) and I was married to a man in black, so no way could he threaten me and live to tell the tale.

My first official step as the new boss was to hire a cleaning crew to thoroughly disinfect Vinnie's old office, my new office, post haste. I knew what he did in there, and I wasn't going in there until a Hazmat team cleaned the place with industrial strength bleach. Twice. And I got new furniture.

Les and I spent Tuesday evening, and Wednesday morning, celebrating.

On Wednesday afternoon, I met with Les, Bobby and Tank at the RangeMan offices on Haywood. It was the first time I'd been there since Ranger had been a jerk, but I figured I needed to be Stephanie Plum, professional woman of the world, now and grow a set. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I figured Les would be abjectly horrified if I actually grew anything.

Les grinned while I pulled on a suit from my E.E. Martin days. "Beautiful, it's just us. You don't have to dress up for us!"

"Suck it, Santos!"

"Oh, baby," he said as his voice dropped an octave, "you know I'll glad suck on whatever you want."

I blushed and flipped him the bird. Yeah, I knew that, and he knew I'd return the favor, but now wasn't the time to get me all discombobulated.

"If you want me to suck anything ever again, leave me alone while I get ready!"

That shut him up and got him moving out of the doorway to the walk-in closet. Yeah, thought so. Punk.

I gathered up my stack of documents and got Les situated in his SUV for the ride to the office. He was starting his physical therapy with Bobby after the meeting, so he was dressed in work out clothes. He looked delicious.

Focus, Plum! Er, Santos. Plum-Santos. Whatever the hell you're going to call yourself!

"Um, Les?" I asked, thinking there was no time like the present to have this conversation.

"Yeah, baby?"

"What name should I use?"

"What?"

"Plum or Santos or Plum-hyphen-Santos?"

"Up to you, baby. I'm not one of those super macho men who'll pitch a fit if you don't change your name. I'm going to call your Mrs. Santos in bed sometimes, but you can use whatever name you want to use outside of it," he said with an outrageous wink.

I had to grin at him. See, there's a key difference. Morelli would have shit a brick if I'd even so much as hinted at not changing my name. If, you know, I'd ever been dumb enough to marry the rat fink.

"Maybe keep using Plum professionally since I'll be running Plum Bail Bonds," I mused aloud.

"Makes sense," he agreed.

"But Stephanie Santos does have a nice ring to it," I said.

His grin grew wider. "Damn straight, Beautiful!"

I chuckled at his exuberant response. "Well, maybe Plum professionally and Santos socially, then? Not sure how to go about that legally," I mused. "We'll have to figure it out."

Les just kissed my hand. "I got the girl, that's all that matters. I don't care what name you use."

I glanced over at him. "Changing names is a real bitch, you know," I told him. "So if I do change it or hyphenate it, you're helping me fill out the paperwork, mister!"

"Baby, I'll help you with whatever you need."

"Good." No way I was doing that alone again. Dickie had refused to help, saying it was my job to do all that since it was my name changing, even though he was the damn lawyer. Should have been clue number one that it wasn't going to last.

We pulled up to the gates of the building then, and I hit the remote on the key fob and slid into the parking lot. The spot I used to use was open, and I turned to look at Les.

He shrugged. "Didn't feel right for any of us to park there, so we didn't."

I grinned and parked his SUV in the spot. Worked for me, less of a walk to the elevator in my heels. Les chuckled and hopped out.

I got hugs from most of the Merry Men when we got off the elevator on the fifth floor. I'd seen most of them at our Pino's party, but for some of them, that had been first time I'd seen them in a long time so I took a moment to say hello.

Les finally had to drag me away amid shouted insults from some of the guys. "You don't see enough of her at home?" Bones said as I waved farewell as my long-legged man dragged me off.

"Fuck off, we're late for a meeting!" Les told him. "And don't you have a monitor to watch?"

"Who do you think you are, my boss?" Bones teased back.

"Something like that, yeah," Les said with a grin. "Back to work, peons."

There were laughs as Les and I went into the smaller conference room.

"Damn, Bomber!" Bobby exclaimed. "You look nice!"

I preened at his praise. "Thanks, Bobby!"

"This for us?" Bobby asked with wide, and appreciative, eyes. Guess the sibling part only goes far.

I nodded. "I'm trying to act a little bit more professional, and part of that for me is looking the part."

Tank flashed a grin and stood up to shake my hand. "Thank you for coming to meet with us, then, ma'am."

I rolled my eyes and hugged him. "Not that professional, you big goof."

I got a quick bark of laughter from Tank before his ginormous hand patted my back. "Alright, Steph. Then since you called this meeting, how about you tell us what's going on?"

"'Kay. So you guys know that the number of skips from Vinnie has dropped off exponentially over the last few weeks, right?" I started.

Bobby and Tank exchanged glances and then nodded. "Yeah. Worked out okay since we've been short-staffed with Santos out, but we've noticed," Bobby said.

"Bobby, where do you keep the smelling salts? And the anti-nausea drugs?" I teased.

Bobby looked concerned and started to stand up, presumably to go get his med kit. I waved him back down.

"So the reason why there's no skips is because Vinnie's been out of the office the last couple of weeks. And that's because, drum roll please, Lucille's pregnant. With twins."

There was no visible reaction for five seconds. I know because I counted.

"What the fuck?" Bobby finally said. "I didn't think weasels could impregnate humans. Should be genetically impossible!"

I snorted. Yeah, me either. "Yeah. But it's a high-risk pregnancy because of Lucille's age and the fact that it's her first pregnancy. I did a little snooping on the internet, and I guess it's not terribly uncommon for women to get really fertile just before they hit menopause, which I guess is what happened here, since I'm pretty sure Lucille is probably getting close to her mid or late forties by now."

Bobby nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, it can happen. And twins are always high-risk, as are pregnancies when the mother is older. Put those two together and it's a double-whammy."

"So Lucille's been having a tough time and wanted Vinnie close by, God knows why," I continued.

"Mutant or not, he is the baby daddy," Bobby said. "So I guess she'd want him around."

I shrugged.

"So what's that mean for the business?" Tank finally asked.

"Well, Tank, I'm so glad you asked," I said with a smile. "Lucille's been worried about Vinnie needing to be gone nights and weekends to bond out people during the rest of her pregnancy and once the babies are here, and she doesn't really like that idea. And of course, what Lucille doesn't like, doesn't happen. So Harry has decided that Vinnie should start a new job with more family friendly hours."

That earned me widened eyes from both Bobby and Tank, and a slight snort from Les, who was clearly enjoying their reactions.

"So he's closing down the office?" Bobby asked.

"Nope. As of yesterday afternoon, I'm the Plum in Plum Bail Bonds," I told them proudly.

That got a reaction. Bobby stood up quickly, causing his rolling chair to careen backwards, and rushed over to hug me. "Bomber!"

"Yeah, Bobby?" I asked as I tried to suck in oxygen. Gotta say, Bobby gives good hug.

"You're going to be great! And damn, but it's going to be more fun to work with you than Vinnie!"

"And way more hygienic to come to my office," I teased. "That's why I came here rather than ask you guys to come there. The Hazmat team hasn't finished sanitizing it yet."

Everyone laughed at that.

Once Bobby let me go, Tank patted me on the back, and I had to grab Bobby's arm to keep from toppling over. That made both Bobby and Les laugh.

"Damn, man. How much weight can you lift?" I asked Tank.

"At least three of you without breaking a sweat," he replied with a slight smile.

"Jeez, remind me to never piss you off."

"Good plan."

"These windows don't open, right?" I said as I pretended to look anxious. "'Cause I know there aren't any fire escapes for me to land on if you toss me out."

Tank smiled full on at my joke about our first meeting, when he'd tossed a meth head out the window onto a fire escape. Of course, at the time, I hadn't known there was a fire escape.

"You'll be fine. But I take it we need to discuss the contracts between RangeMan and the new and improved Plum Bail Bonds," Tank said in his usual stoic manner.

"Got it in one, big guy," I replied as I sat back down and pulled out copies of the contracts for everyone.

"I had my lawyer revise the contract, and I think it'll work out nicely for us all," I said. "Your percentage and conditions for a successful recovery will stay the same, but I'm suggesting one key change that I think will benefit both of us. I'd like access to your super-spy search programs. I already know how to use them, or at least I did up until a year ago, and I'd like access to Rodriguez or Silvio to teach me any new stuff. I can use it to find stuff on any skips that aren't in the RangeMan range, but in return, I'll run the searches on any skips that I do give you guys, and I'll do what I used to do when I worked here and work up a full report on them. You guys can use it however you want. And I'll still, of course, use any of my contacts in the 'Burg or the area to help track down the baddies."

I gave them a minute to think about it. I knew Les was on board, but I didn't know what Bobby and Tank would think.

Tank leaned back and pinned me with his dark gaze. "Explain how having you run the research reports benefits us."

"Maybe you guys were just blowing smoke up my skirt, but you said I was good at running them, that my Spidey senses helped. And I can think of multiple situations where my outside-of-the-box thinking helped you guys to find skips who you wouldn't have otherwise found as easily. I tracked down the saboteurs when those punk kids were breaking into accounts and ruining RangeMan because I'm not military and I don't think military. You have plenty of guys who think military or think cop. I don't, so I'll have a different perspective. And it'll be now in my financial best interest as well as yours to find these guys. If you don't find them, it's my paycheck that gets cut, too."

Les started to say something naughty, based on his wicked grin, probably about the blowing smoke up my skirt comment. I shot him a look to keep him quiet.

I pulled out another handout and passed it out. "These are the skips you guys didn't get last year. Of the seventeen names on the list, I know or know of nine of them. Vinnie's was mostly a local business, and it was mostly 'Burg or almost 'Burg families. I'm not saying that I could have found them if I'd been involved, but I have access to community connections that, let's face it, would be harder for you guys. One of these guys, Mikey Malowitz, went to pre-school with me. Jonathan Guiseppi's mom plays bingo with my grandma. I can probably get information that your informants can't."

Tank looked interested. "And you would collect this information for us?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes. I'd run a report using the RangeMan research programs and then add anything else I could get using my community connections. You guys had a hard time with getting the research on skips done because it's a boring job to most of you macho, kick ass and take names guys. But I'm nosey. I like sticking my big fat nose into people's lives and figuring out where they're likely hiding. I enjoyed it for the most part, I just didn't like the pity gig aspect of it."

Les interrupted. "Beautiful, it was never a pity gig! We loved having you here!"

I snorted. "The only time Ranger asked me to come do it was when I was down to my last box of TastyCakes and was contemplating a part-time job at Cluck in a Bucket again."

Les looked angry. "We talked about hiring you on full time several times, baby. Did Ranger never mention it to you?"

I widened my eyes and shook my head. "Fucker. I'm really going to shoot him now," Les muttered.

I turned back to Bobby and Tank. "He being serious or just trying to get lucky tonight?"

"Baby, we all already know I'm getting lucky tonight," Les replied in his bedroom voice.

Bobby groaned. "Seriously, stop it with that! I don't want to know!"

I grinned and Bobby grinned back. "No, he's actually telling the truth. We'd kicked it around a couple of times for the exact reasons you said. We all hate doing the paperwork, the research. But you were damn good at it and seemed to like it as long as you could get out in the field some too. He said you always declined."

I frowned thoughtfully. "I guess he hinted about it once or twice, but it never seemed like it was a real offer. But can you really see me getting up at 5 am to run? Not gonna happen, boys."

That got me grins from around the table. "True dat," Les said. "Waking you up before nine am is dangerous unless I have food. And even then it's iffy."

I grinned. "Yep."

Then I got back to business. "Since the majority of your skips would come from me, you'd get just about all of your research done by me too. Les said you sometimes do state and federal skips too, and I'd be okay with running those searches on a case-by-case basis if I have the time. After all, you guys are my friends and if there's anything I can do to help keep you guys safe, I'll do it! That would free up the guy's time for bashing in heads and other so-called fun stuff. And it would let me help Lula and the guys I hope to hire to do the middle-range skips have better info when they go after their skips, too. So win-win." I took a deep breath. "So what do you think?"

"How will you have time to run the office and do research?" Bobby asked. "Vinnie seemed pretty busy."

I snorted. "Vinnie was busy whacking his willy."

That got shudders from the guys.

"Since I won't be scheduling nooners with goats or Joyce Barnyard, I'll have more free time than Vinnie did to run research reports. Plus I have some ideas for how to make it run faster by setting it up on two computers. Most of the time is just spent waiting on the program to actually run. If I can have it running on two computers, it'll run twice as fast. And I can work on actually business stuff while the program is running. I think it'll be okay, but we can re-evaluate in a few months and see how it's working."

"You can schedule those nooners with me, Beautiful," Les teased. At least I think he was teasing.

Bobby threw his pen at him.

"We'd need to get Hector to install the programs on your new computers," Tank said. "And you'd have to get dedicated fiber-optic lines to the office."

"So you're willing to give it a try?" I asked excitedly.

Tank nodded.

I looked over at Bobby. "What about you?"

Bobby nodded. "Sure, Bomber. You really were our best researcher in Trenton, maybe at all. It'd be interesting to put you and Silvio together in a competition. I'd rather go after a skip based on your research than even what I did. So I say let's give it a shot."

"Les?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"What do you think?"

"You know I'm in."

"I know, but it's your company too, so just to be all official and all, do you agree?"

"Yep."

"Alright! But what if Ranger disagrees when he gets back from wherever he's at?" I asked hesitantly.

Tank shrugged his massive shoulders. "Three of us agree, so he's shit outta luck if he doesn't. We out vote him."

With that, I finally grinned and handed over the new contracts for them to sign. "Nice doing business with ya, boys."

"Real nice, baby," Les said. I smacked him upside his horn dog head with a copy of the contract and he grinned at me. Bobby just shook his head and Tank smirked slightly.

Once we swapped around copies of the contracts for everyone, me included, to sign, I put my two copies back in my portfolio. "I want to update the office a little and that includes a couple of new computers that can handle running the search programs. Vinnie bought all second-hand computers that are slow as molasses and would never be able to finish a search. Would it be okay if I borrowed Hector for an hour or two to ask which ones would be best for the programs?"

Everyone nodded.

"Alrighty, Les, can you come with me now to see if he can give me some suggestions? Then you can do your stuff with Bobby while I pick out new office furniture with Connie, and I'll come back to get you when you're done with your PT."

"Didn't the office just get new furniture after the fire?" Bobby asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, but Vinnie's been in it at least a few dozen times by himself since then. So it's contaminated. So I have to get new stuff. God only knows what he's done in there, and there aren't enough vaccines in the world to get me to put my ass where his has been."

Bobby gave a full body shudder at that. "Good thinking."

"Anything that he could have conceivably sat on is being replaced. Desk, chair, couch, anything," I said.

"Fuck. I need brain bleach after thinking about that," Bobby complained.

I snorted. "That's nothing! I had to listen to him and Joyce in there making animal noises. That's enough to give a girl nightmares."

"Shit!"

"Yeah." Then I got an evil smile on my face. "I'm really, really looking forward to firing her!"

Bobby laughed. "I bet."

"You guys can be there when I do it, if you want. Or at least watching the video. I bet anything she goes ape-shit crazy!" I offered.

Les spoke up. "I'm definitely going to be there. I don't trust that bitch not to try anything."

Bobby nodded. "I'm there. Let me know when."

"I'll have Connie call her in soon so I can control the time and place," I said. "And you guys can be there to watch the fireworks!"

Les and I wandered down to talk to Hector, with Les translating for me. He had several suggestions, and printed out a bunch of pages with computer specs for me. He recommended a couple of desktops and laptops and said he could get a really good deal from the supplier that he used for all the RangeMan computers. I'd have to talk to Tank, Bobby and Les about that. I didn't want to take advantage of their generosity and friendship.

After a steamy kiss that garnered a few catcalls and whistles, I left Les to the not-so-tender mercies of Bobby so he could start his physical therapy.

I met individually with Connie and then Lula, and we worked out new employment contracts. I gave them both raises, and they both gave me enthusiastic hugs. We left Lula in charge of the office, which is always a bit dicey, and Connie and I went to the office supply store.

Two hours later, I had a whole new set of office furniture ordered. I'd just need to get a loveseat or small couch at the furniture store and I'd be set. Two of Connie's cousins, who weren't so particular about things like cooties and contagious diseases, were going to come tomorrow morning to take away all the contaminated furniture in Vinnie's office. The cleaning crew would be there tomorrow afternoon to fumigate and my new stuff would be delivered on Friday morning. That would leave me the weekend to get things organized and ready so that by Monday, I should be ready to go in my new business venture.

I hope Les remembered to eat his Wheaties this weekend…

_**Author's note: **__For those of you asking, Ranger will be back soon in terms of the number of chapters, but it'll be a while in regards to the timeline to give Steph time to get settled in her new job and life. If all goes well and I'm able to keep posting daily, Ranger should be back by the end of the week, I hope._

_How do you think that'll go?_

_Please let me know what you think of Professional Stephanie!_


	35. Chapter 35

_**Chapter 35**_

Once I was positive that my new office was completely clean and Vinnie-cootie free, I'd moved in my new furniture and started getting myself settled. It had been years since I'd had my own space, and that had been a little cubicle in a cube farm at E.E. Martin.

Going from a down on her luck hapless bounty hunter to the manger of the office still felt surreal. But Connie and Lula were there to remind me that it was real.

Les surprised me by getting one of our wedding photos and a picture of us skydiving printed and framed in a pair of beautiful silver picture frames. I almost started crying when I unwrapped the box.

"Oh shit, I didn't mean to make you cry!" he said as I threw myself into his arms. "I'm sorry!"

"No," I blubbered. "They're beautiful. Thank you!"

"So… good tears, then?"

I nodded. He let out a relieved breath. "Good. Had me scared there for a minute."

I smiled up at him. "Definitely good tears."

I put our wedding photo on my desk and set the one of us skydiving on my bookcase. "What do you think?" I asked Les.

"Perfect."

He left at that point, probably afraid he'd make me cry again, to head over to Haywood with Woody, who was outside chatting with Connie. I thought I detected the beginnings of an office romance there. Les would do his PT with Bobby and then hang out and do some office work. He could go back to work as long as it was on strictly limited office duty, which Les found only slightly less boring than sitting on his ass at home. He did not enjoy paperwork. But since he'd be at home on his ass all alone now, he chose to do paperwork at Haywood with the guys instead.

I ordered some pretty art prints online. The beige walls were boring and the only window looked out at a brick wall. Yeah, that's real fascinating. A few framed prints would at least add a little bit of interest.

Connie brought me a potted plant as an office-warming present, and then promised that she'd make sure it survived. Good. I don't have a green thumb.

Alright, the office is done, now I need to drum up some business! Connie had ordered me some new business cards, so I shoved a bunch in my nice new imitation but almost authentic looking Coach bag and headed towards the cop shop.

I had a couple of hours until the evil bitch and bane of my existence, Joyce "Barnyard" Barnhardt, was meeting Vinnie (me) at the office, so I'd let the guys know that Plu Bail Bonds was back.

"Hey, Steph!" Eddie said when he saw me wander in. "Bringing in a skip?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Won't be doing too much of that in the future," I told him with a smile.

Eddie's eyes widened. "You quit?"

"Not quite."

I felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder and I squeaked before reacting instinctively with all of Les's self-defensive training. Before I could gather my thoughts, I had Joe Morelli's arm twisted behind him as I moved to put him on the ground.

"Shit, Joe! Don't scare me like that!" I said as I released him and stepped back, closer to Eddie.

"Damn, Steph! What the hell?" he said as he rubbed at his twisted shoulder.

I shrugged. "You shouldn't sneak up on me or try to grab me like that."

"When did you learn moves like that?" Joe asked, looking genuinely interested.

"Les's has been teaching me self-defense," I said softly.

"You've learned all that in a few weeks? With his arm busted?" Joe replied unbelievingly. "It takes a long time to learn those kind of responses."

I nodded. "Yeah, he's been working with me for over six months. Makes me practice at least once a week."

Joe looked stunned. "Six months?"

"A little over by now, I think. Maybe seven or eight."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Joe let out a sigh. "I never had a chance with you again, did I?"

I shook my head. "No. Not after what happened."

"He loves you?"

"Yeah."

"And he takes good care of you?"

"Yeah."

"Then be happy." And with that, Joe turned on his heel and walked away.

I turned back to look at Eddie in shock. "Did that really just happen?"

Eddie nodded. "Yeah. I think Joe finally got it."

"Well, hell."

We took a collective moment of silence to thank God for that miracle. Should I call the Pope to report it? What's the protocol for divine intervention?

"So, why'd you come by? You missed my handsome face?" Eddie teased.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, you tell yourself that. No, I wanted to let you know that Plum Bail Bonds is back open if you have anyone who needs to make bail."

"Yeah, what's been going on? Vinnie's been refusing to come out to bond out anybody."

"Vinnie's out of the bond's business. And I'm in it. I'm the Plum in Plum Bail Bonds now," I told Eddie as I handed him my card.

"No shit!"

"No shit."

I glossed over Lucille's pregnancy since I didn't think she wanted that to be common knowledge just yet. I just said that Vinnie and Harry had decided that he'd move on to another part of the business, and that I'd take over the bond's office. So they could call the office cell to reach either me or Connie if someone needed to get bonded out.

Connie and I had discussed it, and we'd take turns with the phone. Of course, if she didn't feel comfortable bonding out someone, she could always just call me and I could either decide over the phone or go and meet the person and then decide.

Eddie and I shot the shit for a while longer, and I left him a big stack of business cards as a resources for scofflaws in need of assistance.

I made in back in time to meet up with Les and Bobby for my big show. I was looking forward to this!

Les and Bobby were both sitting on my new couch, and Lula and Connie were both in the outer office when Connie buzzed me to say that the skank was on her way in.

Joyce didn't deign to stop and say anything to Connie or Lula, she just breezed right past and sashayed her way into my office. She pulled up short when she saw me sitting behind my new desk.

"You!" she shrieked. "What are you doing here? Vinnie asked for me!"

I stood and smirked. "Actually, Joyce, Vinnie no longer works here."

Joyce took a half step back, her skintight, and too tight, faux leather jumpsuit squeaking at the sudden motion. "Bullshit! It's Plum Bail Bonds, you fat cunt!"

I had to suck in a deep breath to keep from pulling my gun and shooting her. Les and Bobby both stood. "Yeah, but read the sign more closely, you stupid cow. It's _Stephanie_ Plum Bail Bonds now."

"What?" she blinked at me.

I smiled. "Yeah. Vinnie's retired, and Harry asked me to take over the business. I agreed. So I'm the boss now, bitch. Which means your limited services are no longer required." You filthy skank whore!

"You bitch! You can't do that! I have a contract!" she smirked.

Connie spoke up. "You had a contract with Vinnie, not with Steph. And now that Vinnie's out of business, it's not valid. Steph had to re-negotiate all her employment contracts. And if she doesn't want to re-negotiate with you, she doesn't have to."

Joyce turned her demonic red gaze at Connie and Lula. "Fat fucking whore," she said. "Who asked you?"

"So, to quote Donald Trump," I continue with a big 'ol smile on my face, "you're fired!"

Joyce tried to launch herself at me, but Bobby caught her. "Whoa, psycho lady! I don't think so," he said as she tried to fight and claw her way to me. Did she really think she was getting through a Merry Man? Idiot.

"Either calm down or I'll zap you," Bobby warned after she struggled fruitlessly for a minute. "You're going to give yourself a damn heart attack, and I'm damn well not giving you mouth to mouth!"

Joyce's eyes glazed over momentarily at the thought of Bobby's lips on hers.

I laughed out loud. "You can just drop that thought, Joyce. He wouldn't touch you like that with a ten-foot pole! Hell, he's only touching you now so you won't hurt my new furniture with your fat ass!"

She glared at me and finally ceased struggling. Bobby let go and stepped back.

"Please, like you could ever find a man," she huffed at me. "No man in his right mind would ever want a skinny hag like you!"

"What did you just say about my wife?" Les asked in a lethally dangerous tone that made grown men pee in their pants.

Joyce's eyes bugged out. "Your what?" she yelped.

Les kissed me, hard and hot. "My wife. Stephanie. The woman you just insulted. Which was a damn stupid move."

"You found another idiot to marry you?" stupid, er, Joyce, said, aghast.

Les leaped toward her and Bobby just managed to stop him from grabbing her by the bottle red hair.

"Damn, bitch," Lula drawled, "where you been? It's been the talk of town for weeks now! Les and Steph eloped to Vegas two months ago, all romantic like. Steph, show her that picture! You two hot together."

I obligingly showed Joyce the photo of Les and me in Vegas. And Lula was right, we were hot together.

Joyce's eyes bugged out again. "You really got married?"

I nodded.

Joyce tried to smirk at me. "Just means he'll be calling me when he gets tired of you," she blustered.

Les stared at her, his gorgeous green eyes icy and haughty, and his body radiating pure menace. "I can assure you there is no way I'll ever get tired of her and no way I'll ever call you. I like real women, gorgeous ones, not fakes ones with more aftermarket parts than a remodeled '67 Chevy. There is nothing on you I find the least bit attractive. Everything about you is low class and fake. She is gorgeous. You're a piece of trash, and now, it's time to take the trash out. So get the fuck out and stay out, or I will find you."

His voice dropped to subarctic. I got the shivers. "And it will not be pretty. Got it?"

Joyce did a goldfish impression for a minute before turning precariously on her stiletto heels. "You'll get tired of the bitch!"

"Bobby, shoot her," Les drawled. "God knows no would ever miss her."

"I'll shoot her!" Lula said eagerly. Bet she would too. That's why I confiscated her gun earlier, just in case.

Joyce left quickly at that point, tripping twice over her too small boots in her haste to get away from us.

We all busted out laughing. "Damn, Beautiful, why's she hate you so bad?" Les asked after a moment.

I shrugged. "Got me. She's just hated me as long as I can remember, going back to kindergarten. So it's become mutual."

"You never did anything to her?" Bobby asked.

"Not that I remember that she didn't start."

"That is one seriously disturbed woman," Bobby said. "Like lock her up disturbed."

"If you can get her committed, I will love you forever!" I told him.

"Hey!" Les said.

"Don't worry, I love you, too," I reassured him.

He sat down in my office chair and pulled me into his lap. "As long as you love me more," he said with a fake pout.

I kissed his jutting lower lip. "Different kinds of love," I assured him.

"Good."

The guys left when we got a call from Dougie asking us to come bond him out. I went with Connie to watch her do it. I hadn't gotten my bond's license yet, so Connie'd have to do them all for the moment, but it should arrive soon, and then I'd be able to write bonds too. Might help to know how the hell to do it first!

_**Author's note: **__Has Joe begun to redeem himself yet? And what did you think of the Joyce firing scene? I didn't want to do anything that would get Steph (or Les!) arrested, or cross over into crass territory, and I'm not sure how well it turned out, but I didn't have any time to tinker with it if I wanted to get anything at all out today because…_

_My dissertation director came by unexpectedly to chat about my chapter 4. And while he had some minor suggestions and a few edits, he approved it! Woo hoo! But his call that he was coming by today threw me into a bit of a panic so I was too freaked out (and busy straightening up my office) to think about poor Steph and Les._

_But he also gave me a pretty quick deadline for chapter 5, which is going to make my life challenging for the next few weeks. So please understand that I'm going to do my best to keep up with regular updates, but please don't hate me if I miss days! _

_Please let me know what you think! I 3 reviews!_


	36. Chapter 36

_**Chapter 36**_

It was a wild few months. The 'Burg buzzed for a while when I took over the bond's office, and then it went completely ape-shit when news broke weeks later over why Vinnie had 'retired'. Poor Lucille was going to have her hands full with twins and a cranky Vinnie who couldn't get his jollies anymore!

It was a tough holiday season for me. My mom was still furious with me, and couldn't understand why I was married to a 'thug' instead of Joe.

I decided to give her one final chance, and Les and I went to her and dad's house for Thanksgiving dinner. It had been, in a word, disastrous. A raging disaster of epic proportions that made the dinner where we told them we were married seem almost like a June Cleaver special.

Even the presence of St. Valerie, Albert the Dough Boy and my nieces hadn't been enough to dull mom's vitriol. Not even the fact that I was running the bond's office instead of being a bounty hunter made a bit of difference to her. I wasn't living the life she wanted, so I was a bad daughter who didn't love her family.

Les had been a Godsend to me that day.

"Shh, Beautiful, we can leave as soon as we eat the pumpkin pie," he soothed.

She'd been making little digs at him all damn day, and I was about two seconds away from pulling his gun and shooting her.

Even Val was shooting me sympathetic looks, and Albert looked frankly confused by the hostility emanating from my mother.

"This is it. I'm done. Once we leave here, I'm never coming back again," I promised Les. "I'm not making you deal with her bullshit."

"Baby, I'm okay. Don't worry about me, I'm worried about you," he said as he pulled me to his chest in a warm and comforting hug.

Mom came in and started yelling at us. "What kind of example are you setting for the children? For heaven's sake, stop acting like that!"

"For heaven's sake, Helen, maybe if you got some every once in a while, you wouldn't be in such a snit!" my grandma retorted. "They ain't doing anything freaky, more's the pity, so give it a rest."

Mom just snorted.

"Mother, I'm hugging my husband because my mom's being a bitch to him. I don't see a problem with that," I told her in an icy tone.

She gasped. "Stephanie Michelle Plum, how dare you speak to me like that?" she demanded.

I stood slowly, Les's hand clasped in my own. "It's Stephanie Santos now. And how dare you speak to him like that? You don't know anything about him, and you've made zero effort to learn! He's a good man, a wonderful man! He loves me and I love him. I've never been happier in my whole life, but do you care? No! You just care that he's not 'Burg so it doesn't matter that I'm happy! You'd rather I be miserable with Dickie or Joe than blissfully happy with someone who isn't 'Burg. Well, screw you, mom! I'm done!"

I was nearly incoherent in rage as I tugged on Les's hand. "Let's go."

"You can't do that! I'm your mother!"

I turned slowly and the look on my face caused her to take two steps back. "And for thirty years, I've been waiting for you to act like a mother, to show that you give a damn about me. And I'm tired of waiting. You don't act like a proper mother should, and frankly, I'm tired of waiting. So take a good look 'cause this will be the last time you see me."

"What do you mean, I'm not a proper mother?" she sounded absolutely aghast. Ah, there was her Achilles heel, her weak spot. Attack her maternal abilities to bring her down.

"A proper mother would have been happy for her daughter for finding a man she loved who loved her too as long as he was a good man, regardless of whether he was 'Burg or not. A proper mother would have supported her daughter in her job even if she didn't like it because she loved her daughter. She wouldn't have moaned and groaned constantly about how it made her look bad. She would have been proud that her daughter was willing to do whatever was necessary to support herself. She would have, at some point in thirty damn years, said she was proud of her daughter for something. And I'm pretty sure I've never heard those words from you. So I'm tired of waiting for you to be a good mother, and frankly, I'm pretty sure I'll be happier without you as my mother."

Mom's mouth fell open, but grandma just cheered. "Here, here! I'm proud of you, baby girl! I can't tell you how tired I am of your mother here, I didn't raise her to be a close-minded prude. You go live your life and call me to have lunch."

I kissed grandma on the cheek. "I will. I can pick you up for lunch one day next week, okay?"

Grandma nodded.

Dad shot an evil glare at mom. "I'll join you for lunch, too. Just not the same day as this old bat," he said.

I nodded. "Sounds good. You can call my cell or stop by the bond's office."

Mom's jaw was opening and closing, but nothing was coming out.

Valerie looked unsure, so I decided to make it easier on her. "See you around," I said in a noncommittal tone. She just nodded.

Les drove us home, shooting anxious glances at me very few seconds. I couldn't talk yet. If I did, I'd cry, and if I cried, he'd probably wreck the car trying to comfort me while driving.

Once we got home, he just held me while I cried myself to sleep, again, over my mom being a bitch to the man I loved.

When I woke up, I was wrapped up in Les's arms, and his green eyes were watching me with concern. "Morning, baby," he said softly.

I snuggled closer with an inarticulate mutter that could be possible interpreted as good morning. Or it could have been Wookie for something dirty. I don't know.

After a few minutes of snuggling, he ventured another few words. "How are you feeling this morning?"

I'd been thinking about it. Surprisingly light, actually. Not physically, especially not given how much food I'd packed away before the final denouncement with my mom, but I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"Surprisingly okay," I responded after a few seconds of thought. "Like you said last time, no need to deal with toxic bullshit all the time."

I felt him nod. "Whatever you think is best, Beautiful. You know I'll support you."

"I know." And I did. I think that was what finally gave me the courage to say enough is enough.

I did see both my dad and my grandma for lunch the week after Thanksgiving, and I hoped it would become a regular thing for us. Grandma reported that mom had crawled into a bottle of Jim Beam and had not yet crawled back out, but I refused to take responsibility for that. She chose to be a bitch and she chose to drink. It wasn't my fault.

Grandma and dad both agreed completely that it wasn't my fault, despite what mom might wail. Both had started eating dinner out most nights, which had made mom even more nuts.

And given that grandma isn't exactly known for her discretion (understatement of the decade), she'd told everyone at the beauty shop, church, grocery store and every other place with more than two people about mom being a raging bitch and me standing up to her. But in her version, I was a brave David facing off against an evil Goliath, and winning despite insurmountable odds.

I knew better than most how quick the 'Burg could turn on someone, and they turned on mom now. She couldn't show her face in public without people whispering behind her back about what a terrible mother she was. I had never intended for that to happen, that was 100% grandma, but maybe now she knew how it felt and would be a little slower to trash someone just to have something to do while the roast was in the oven. But then again, probably not.

I stayed busy with work and Les and our friends, and tried not to think about it.

Even Val called the week before Christmas and invited Les and I over to her house for dinner the Saturday before Christmas. She said the girls really wanted to see me, and since she didn't think I'd be at the Plum household for the traditional Christmas eve dinner, could we please come over to their house instead? She swore on all that was holy that mom would not be there.

We went, and had a surprisingly nice time. I'd only been to Val's house once before, and that had been to help her move. Mary Alice was slightly less crazy in her own space, and Val was able to leave baby Lisa in her crib upstairs and just carry around the baby monitor instead of the actual baby.

We had a nice chat in the kitchen while Les tried desperately to find something to talk about with Albert.

"So you're really giving up on mom?" Val asked while she stirred a pot of something that smelled delicious.

"Yeah. I'm done."

"Wow. What if you guys ever have kids?"

"Then they'll get to know their grandpa and great-grandma Mazur, and their Santos grandparents. But that's not in the plans."

Val shot me a rueful grin. "Yeah, well, best laid plans and all that. I love Lisa to pieces, but she wasn't exactly a planned baby, Steph."

I smiled. "If it happens, we'll deal with it. But I'm on the best birth control currently available, and we'll just have to hope that it works."

Val shook her head. "I hope you never told mom that!"

I laughed. "Do you think I'm nuts? Of course not!" Mom was vehemently Catholic and adamantly opposed to all forms of birth control. You'd think a woman who came of age in the '60s would be more with it.

"So you really don't plan to ever see her again?" Val asked again a minute later.

I shrugged. "Trenton's not a huge city, so I can't say I won't run into her at some point. But I don't plan to ever seek her out. I'm done, Val. I just can't do it anymore."

Val nodded. "I can see that."

I looked up in shock. "You can?" I was prepared for her to lecture me on the importance of family and to beg me to come to my parents' house for Christmas.

"Yeah. If it weren't for the girls and the fact that I want them to know their grandma, I can't say I wouldn't do the same. But I see what she's doing to Angie and Mary Alice, and after thinking about what you said, how she's always been so critical of you, I'm not even sure that having her be around them is a benefit for them," Val mused as she tried a spoonful of the gravy.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Val stood and stared me straight in the eyes. "She's doing the same thing to Angie and Mary Alice that she did to you and me. Angie's always perfect, but Mary Alice can never do anything right in her eyes. Just like with us. And that's not right. Angie makes mistakes too, everyone does, and Mary Alice does some wonderful things. But not to listen to mom. And I don't want what happened with us to happen to them."

I was mute in shock. "Wha-what?" I finally stuttered.

She sighed. "We're not close, Steph, not like sisters can be, should be. We never were because mom always set it up as a competition, but it was one you could never win. But I wish we were closer sometimes."

I leaned against the island in shock. "Wow. I had no idea."

Val shrugged. "Well, we had friends growing up who were more like sisters than just friends, so I guess that helped. Then I was in California with the rat fink, but since I've been back, you've done a lot to help me. More than I could have ever expected, and I've never really thanked you for it. So… thanks."

I just blinked at her. "Thanks, Val. That means a lot."

"Yeah, well, you know," she replied. We don't do emotional shit well in my family.

We ended up having a nice dinner together. The girls opened their presents from me and Les, and they were excited. We'd gotten Angie a Kindle and a ton of gift cards so she could buy books, which our little budding bibliophile adored. We got Mary Alice a week at a riding camp, which sent her racing around the house in rapturous bliss. Lisa got a bunch of stuffed animals and teething rings. Hey, it was what Val said she needed.

We got Val and Albert a weekend away at a bed and breakfast at the coast. We figured one or the other set of grandparents could watch the kids, and they could use a little time alone. I just hope they don't come back with baby number four on the way.

Note to self: buy Val a box of condoms, too.

Les had to work the next day, Christmas Eve, so some of the guys could have the day off. The core team always worked the holidays so most of the rank and file guys could have time off. I was okay with that, and I actually had ordered a ton of food from a local caterer to feed the guys since Ella and Luis were off as well.

I showed up in a naughty elf costume to help serve the food. I got lots of naughty comments until Les started glaring at the guys. Then they shut up.

Les was off Christmas day, so we spent it with his family in Newark. I spoke with my dad, grandma and Val and her family on the phone to wish them all a Merry Christmas. It felt weird to not be at mom's house. Weird, but strangely nice to not go home with a twitching eye and a stomachache after Christmas dinner due to my mom's harping on me.

I'm met most of Les's immediately family earlier when we'd had dinner right after we'd decided to announce our marriage, but this was my first time meeting his extended family. And man, but it was BIG!

I even met most of Ranger's family, too. I should have been prepared for it since I knew Ranger and Les were cousins, but I don't generally see my cousins on the holidays, and we haven't since we were little kids at my great-grandparents house at the holidays. But his family still has a big blow out with everyone who's even remotely related gathering together at different times of the day at different houses.

I'd met Ranger's parents very briefly at the hospital when he'd been shot by Scrog, and they were gracious in welcoming me to the family. They didn't ask questions.

Ranger's sister, Celia, wasn't so restrained. "So how'd you end up married to my cousin instead of my brother?" she asked.

I blinked at her. "Ranger and I were only ever friends."

She actually snorted. "Yeah, right."

"I'm serious. We were flirty sometimes, but it never really went beyond friends. Les and I started hanging out a lot, we got to know each other and we fell in love. And then we ended up married."

"Carlos know?"

Who? Oh yeah, Ranger. "No. He's been gone."

She looked sad. "You haven't been able to talk to him either? I thought maybe working with him that you'd had a chance to hear from him at least."

I smiled sympathetically. "No. And I don't work there anymore, I run the bail bond's office. If anyone spoke to him, it would be Tank or Les or Bobby, but as far as I know, they haven't spoken to him since he left either. But I think in this type of situation, no news is good news."

She shook her head. "Yeah, that's what he said too."

We chatted a bit longer before one of Celia's sisters or cousins or somebody who apparently knew her yelled for her. "Excuse me," she said with a smile. "I'm sure we'll have time to talk more soon."

God, I hope not. "Sure."

Les swooped in to rescue me then. "How'd the interrogation go?"

"Fine, I think. Mostly she wanted to know if we'd heard anything from Ranger since he'd been gone. I told her that we hadn't, as far as I knew, but that I probably wouldn't know even if you had. And that no news was good news."

He nodded. "We sometimes get word that he made a check in, but we haven't heard from him directly, as far as I know either. And yeah, as long as we don't get word that there's something bad going on, that's good."

I nodded and he kissed my forehead before we were swept up in the maelstrom of introductions and festivities again.

I was exhausted by the time we got home, but Les convinced me that I had just enough energy left to open one last present. It was a beautiful sapphire necklace that he said reminded him of my eyes when I was really happy, which convinced me to make him really happy.

We invited the guys to our newly renovated house for a big New Year's Eve party, and those who didn't have dates lined up came. We had a raucous good time. The pool table got lots of use, we ate and drank a ton, and I got numerous kisses at midnight (on the cheek, except for Les).

On the whole, I'd have to say it was a good year. Some loses, like my relationship with my mom. But what I had gained with Les more than made up for what I'd lost, especially since mom was the one who chose to throw away our relationship.

I said a quick prayer that wherever he was, and whatever he was doing, that Ranger was okay and that he'd make it back safe and that we'd be able to salvage our friendship.

_**Author's note: **__ Please let me know what you think!_

_So you have to imagine me as the Godfather (Jersey-Italian accent included) saying this: If I get enough reviews to make it worth my while, Ranger will come back tomorrow._

_How's that for an incentive to leave a review? ;-) _


	37. Chapter 37

_**Chapter 37**_

We got really busy during the holidays. Lots of people end of committing crimes, either because they don't have money for the holidays and they helped themselves to presents or cash, or because it's cold outside and they figure jail won't be so bad for a while until they're actually in there and they realize it is actually pretty darn bad. So Connie and I stayed busy bonding out people.

Then after the holidays, Lula and the mid-range agents I hired and RangeMan stayed busy with the people who decided they didn't need to show up for their court date.

Luckily, Les's ribs and shoulder were pretty much good as new now. He was finally able to get back to fieldwork, so he was no longer cranky. He'd hated being cooped up in the office all the time, but I was able to dust off my distraction skills to keep his mind off the fact that he was pulling office duty. He definitely didn't mind it when I dug out some of my old distraction outfits for private viewings! But now that he could track down bad guys, he was a happy camper again.

So we were busy over the next couple of months as the depths of winter started to slowly fade towards spring.

Connie and I had worked it out so that neither of us was constantly on call and we could actually have a semi-normal life. She was dating Woody now, and they made a cute couple. I enjoyed having uninterrupted weekends with Les. Yeah, I enjoyed those a lot.

I was alone in the office when I heard the door open. Connie was out to lunch and Lula was out chasing a skip with one of the new guys, Jordan, so it was just me in the office.

I finished the sentence I was typing and stood to head towards the front office.

I'd only made it about two steps before I froze in my tracks. I couldn't believe my eyes, so I blinked a few times. Nope, still there.

"Ranger?"

"Babe?"

He moved almost faster than I could see and pulled me into his arms for a tight hug. I hugged him back, I was glad he was okay. When he tried to kiss me, I turned my head so he kissed me on the cheek. No way was I going to do that to Les! Plus, I was still slightly angry at Ranger for how he'd left things, so even if I wasn't with Les now, there would be no kissing. He should just be happy I wasn't driving the Buick or he'd have to worry about broken limbs.

He sighed slightly and let me take several steps back when I struggled to get out of his arms.

"When did you get back?" I asked once I got my tongue to work again. He looked paler and thinner than I'd ever seen him, including after he got shot point blank in the neck by Edward Scrog.

"This morning. What are you doing in Vinnie's office?"

"Not Vinnie's office anymore, it's mine. I'm the Plum of Plum Bail Bonds now."

He blinked twice, which in Ranger-land, is a major reaction. "How?"

Some things never change, I guess. Still one-word responses. I had to smile.

"Lucille got pregnant with twins and it's been a really hard pregnancy for her. She was worried about Vinnie needing to be gone nights and weekends to bail out crooks, so Harry decided that Vinnie should get a new job with more family-friendly hours. So he asked me to take over the bond's business permanently and after consideration, I did."

I got the 200-watt smile. "Proud of you, Babe."

"Thanks, Ranger." There was awkward silence for a moment before I spoke again. "Are you okay? You don't look so great."

"You're good for my ego."

I rolled my eyes at him. "At least sit down." He did, sitting casually on the couch, so I sat back down in my office chair behind my desk.

"I hadn't heard you were back yet," I said after another awkward pause.

"I wanted to see you before I went back to Haywood. Went by your apartment but you don't seem to live there anymore. Tank wouldn't tell me anything when I called, so I figured Connie or Lula or Vinnie could tell me where to find you."

I froze. He hadn't spoken to the guys yet?

"So you haven't spoken to Tank or Les yet?"

"No."

Oh. Shit.

"So where did you move to?" he asked casually, but I could tell by the tense look in his eyes that it was anything but a casual conversation.

I blew out a sigh. "A lot has changed in the last year, Ranger." A whole hell of a lot.

"Like what?"

I shot an agonized look at the clock on the wall. Les should arrive soon so we could go to lunch together once Connie got back. Shit, fuck, hell, damn and double fuck.

"Babe?"

"A lot, actually," I said nervously, trying to figure out how to tell Ranger that I was married to his cousin.

"Such as?"

I reached up to push my hair back from my face and his face went completely blank. "You're married."

Oh that's right, he's Mr. Observant. Holy hell.

"Yeah."

"The cop?"

"Hell no!" I retorted. "Bastard cheated on me. Some things can't be forgiven."

"Then who?"

I let out a sigh. Shit, I'd like to introduce you to fan. I hope you hit it off. "Les."

"Les?" he parroted.

"Yeah."

"Lester Santos?"

"Yeah."

"My Lester Santos?"

"Yeah. But I'd say he's mine now."

"You're married to Lester Santos?"

"Yeah."

"You're kidding?"

"No."

"Lester Santos?"

"Yeah, Ranger. Lester Santos, the tall, gorgeous, green-eyed man who swept me off my feet. Your cousin. Your business partner. That Lester Santos. My husband."

He went deathly still and sat staring at me, almost unblinking, for several minutes while I valiantly fought the urge to fidget. It freaked the hell out of me.

The silence was finally broken when my cell phone started ringing.

"Hi," I said quietly to Les.

"Hey, Beautiful," Les said somberly. "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to miss lunch. But I've got big news."

"Um, I think I already know."

There were several seconds of silence. "He's there, isn't he?" he asked in a soft growl.

"Yeah."

"Does he know?"

"Yeah."

"Do I need backup?"

"It's a strong possibility."

"Fuck."

"Yeah." Understatement of the year, there, Les.

"Love you, baby. I'll see you in a minute," he promised.

"Okay."

I hung up and looked back at the still blank-faced Ranger. "Santos?" he asked after a few seconds.

"Yeah." I honestly think that was about the only damn word I could say today.

"We going to have a problem?"

"Only if you start it," I told him. I hoped. Les was still kind of pissed about how Ranger had treated me.

"How did you end up married to Santos?" Ranger asked, his eyes drifting to my flat stomach. Bastard. Why did everyone think the only reason Les would marry me was if I was pregnant? Hell, we didn't even have sex until we'd been married for over a month!

"Maybe we should wait for Les to get here to go through all this," I said softly. "He'll be here in just a minute."

Ranger nodded once.

We went back to awkward silence. "So how was your trip?"

"Babe."

Oh well, worth a shot.

I honestly think it was one of the longest few minutes of my life until the door squeaked open again and I heard the sound of boots moving quickly across the floor. Then Les appeared in the doorway.

"Welcome home, cuz," Les said to Ranger as walked to my side.

Ranger leaned back and looked at the two of us. "So tell me how the two of you ended up married."

"Well, you see, Ranger, when two people fall in love, they get married," Les started. I smacked him on the arm and he turned to smile at me. "No, I'm serious. We fell in love. Well, I fell in love, a long time ago actually, and then we ended up drunk in Vegas and got married. And then I convinced her to fall in love with me too. And that's how it happened."

Ranger kept his blank face on. "Explain."

I rolled my eyes. That was how it happened.

"Well, it started with your dickhead order to keep all the guys away from her," Les said in a hard tone. Ranger had the grace to at least wince at that. "Tank told me and I went to check on Steph to see what the hell happened. She told me about your conversation, that contrary to how it looked, to what you let us all believe, that you two never had a relationship, and that she was sick of your push-pull bullshit. She said that you told her to move on, and that she was going to move on. And that was my opportunity and I took it."

"So you took advantage of her when she was upset?" Ranger said in a deceptively calm voice.

"No!" I all but shouted. "No, he was a great friend. He never once pressured me into anything. We hung out, spent time together. He let me really get to know him as a person. I got to see behind the man in black mask. I fell in love with him bit by bit over months."

"So how'd he get you drunk in Vegas then?"

"Rex died," I said softly, still a little sad at the thought of my little buddy.

"Sorry, Babe."

I nodded. "Yeah. So of course I called my best friend, Les, when I needed someone to come hold me while I cried. He made arrangements for us to go to Vegas for a week so I could get some of the sad out. And while we were there, we went skydiving. Ohmigod, it was great! I went flying! But after that, we had a little too much to drink to celebrate my first skydiving experience and we were both trashed, but a Frank Sinatra impersonator convinced us to get married. So we did. It took us a little while to come to terms with that, but we did."

"He took you skydiving?" Ranger asked in a soft, almost defeated voice.

"Yeah. He knew I'd love it, and I did."

"Fuck."

"That part came later," Les joked.

Ranger shot him an angry glare.

"She's my wife, man. Do you really think I don't make love to her every damn chance I get?" Les challenged.

Ranger dropped his head into his hands.

"Are you happy, Babe?" he asked a moment later, his head still in his hands.

I nodded. "Yeah, I am. I love Les, and he loves me, and we're happy together."

He looked up and just stared at me for a long time. "That's all I wanted for you, for you to be happy. And I didn't think I could make you happy."

"You're right, you couldn't," I agreed.

He blinked in shock.

"You could have never made me happy because you made all the decisions for me. Do you know how much it hurt to hear that you told Tank to keep all my friends away from me? Do you have any idea how _un_happy that made me?" I said.

Ranger actually sighed. Out loud. "By the time I realized what a fucking idiot I was for doing that, it was too late and I was incommunicado. I couldn't call and rescind it at that point."

I blinked back tears. "Why'd you do it in the first place? What did I do that was so wrong that would make you want to keep all my friends away from me?"

"Babe, you didn't do anything wrong," he said softly. "I just… I didn't expect to make it back from this one. I thought it might be easier for you to move on if you were mad at me, if you didn't have reminders around. I just wasn't thinking very clearly when I left your apartment that night. I was pissed with the mission and how it was designed. I was angry and I took it out on you. I'm sorry. I only intended to make it easier in case I didn't come back, but I wasn't thinking."

I swallowed hard. "Oh, Ranger," I said as I moved to hug him. "I'm sorry."

He squeezed me tightly for a moment before letting me go. I stepped back reluctantly and felt Les wrap an arm around my waist. I leaned against him and tried to absorb a little of his strength and calm.

"You realize how stupid that was, right?" Les asked in a gentle tone. "I mean, this is Steph we're talking about. The dumbest thing you can do with her is try to make decisions for her. I've learned that one the hard way."

Ranger nodded slowly. "I know. But what's done is done," he said in a voice of finality.

"I'm glad you made it back," I told him.

Les nodded. "Me too. Tia Maria and Tio Ricardo have nearly gone nuts missing you this time," Les said, explaining that Ranger's parents had really missed him. I'd met almost all of Les's family by now, including Ranger's family, and I could say that they really did miss Ranger. We had all missed him, even me, even when I tried hard not to miss him. Up until I'd gotten to know Les more, Ranger had been one of my best friend, and I hoped we could still be friends.

"I guess this is why Tank ordered me back to Haywood?" Ranger asked Les.

Les nodded. "Yeah. We wanted to have a chance to tell you before you heard about it somehow else."

"Anything else?" Ranger asked with another quick glance at my stomach.

"Oh for the love of God! Just ask the damn question! You want to know if I'm pregnant, right?" I asked lividly. "I'm not. Why's it so damn impossible for everyone to believe that he could just love me enough to want to marry me without getting me knocked up?"

Les pulled me into his arms and kissed me to stop my rant. "Shh, baby. Ignore him."

I looked up at Les in time to see him shoot an evil glare at Ranger. "She's not pregnant, man. You know how she feels about kids, and God knows my brothers and sisters have ensured the Santos line won't die out. Neither one of us has any burning desire to have kids at this point, and likely not ever. We just got the damn 'Burg gossips to shut the hell up about her being pregnant and you have to get her upset again? Estupido."

Ranger was glaring at Les and Les and I were glaring at Ranger.

I sucked in a deep breath. "To the best of our knowledge, I am not pregnant," I told Ranger. "And if you try to insinuate that's the reason why we got married, I'll punch you in the eyeball."

"Babe."

"I've been training her since right after you left. She's pretty damn good," Les said casually. "Mean right hook. Lethally fast knees. Wear a cup if you spar."

"You got her to train?" Ranger asked in apparent shock. "How?"

I smiled up at Les. "He asked."

"I tried to get you to get training a dozen times," Ranger replied in askance.

"You ordered. You showed up and dragged me out of bed and made me go running. He just asked. Told me how much it upset him when I was hurt, and asked if I'd please let me show him some moves. So I did. So we've practiced every week except when he was hurt since then," I informed Ranger.

"That's all it took? Asking?"

"Yep."

"Shit," Ranger muttered.

"I'm actually not that hard to get along with, Ranger. Just don't try to order me around, it's pretty easy," I replied.

Les snorted. "Easy, hell! I've never worked so hard to get a girl in my life!"

I grinned at his chagrined tone. "It was worth it."

He smiled back. "Definitely," he said right before he kissed me gently on the forehead.

"Damn," Bobby said in disgust. "You're doing it again."

I blinked. "When did you get here?"

"Santos called and said Ranger was here. I stopped by in case you needed me, but you were too busy being all lovey-dovey to notice me coming in," Bobby explained before turning to Ranger. "Good to have you back, Ranger."

"Are they always like this?" Ranger asked Bobby.

"No, they're usually much worse. They aren't groping each other yet," Bobby replied.

"Bobby?" I asked sweetly.

"Yeah, Bomber?"

I flipped him the bird and Bobby laughed. "Yeah, yeah, I love you, too, Bomber."

"I'm going to remember this when you finally meet someone. For all the hell that you've given us, you're getting it back twice as bad."

"Shit."

Then Bobby looked at Ranger and his eyes widened. "You okay, man?"

Ranger nodded tiredly. "Nothing a little sleep and some decent food won't fix."

Bobby studied him. "I think it's a little more than that."

Ranger glared at him, and Bobby glared right back. "You know I'll be doing a full physical, including labs, before I clear you back to active duty. So don't try to bullshit me."

Ranger looked faintly shocked. I don't remember Bobby being quite so blunt with Ranger before. I guess a lot really can change in a year.

"Let's get you back so I can get you checked out. You look anemic," Bobby said.

Ranger shot one final indecipherable look at me and Les and walked out without another word.

I leaned against Les's broad chest for a few minutes while the importance of the situation sunk in. "Les?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Are we going to wake up in one of the –stans tomorrow morning?" I asked.

Les laughed softly and hugged me to his chest. "No, Beautiful. He's clearly not happy, but he has no one to blame but himself."

"Are you two going to be okay?" I asked.

"I think we'll be okay eventually."

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry this is so awkward."

"Shh, baby," he said as he wiped away one of the tears that spilled down my cheek. "Nothing for you to apologize for. We fell in love. Now I'm sorry if that causes him any pain, but I wouldn't trade you, us, for anything in the world. And if he's sad about losing his chance, well, too damn bad. He had his chance, and he screwed up. You're mine now, and I won't apologize for being over the moon happy about that."

I sighed and I rested my head over his heart, letting the steady beat of his heart sooth me. I had a feeling that this was not going go as smoothly as Les predicted.

_**Author's note:**__ And Ranger's back! I debated back and forth between having there be a big confrontation of some sort and having it be a less intense situation. Obviously I chose the less dramatic route in the end, but don't worry, the story isn't over yet!_

_So what do you think of the first meeting between Ranger and Stephanie/ Les? And do you think Steph's feeling is right, that it won't go as smooth as Les predicts? What do you think should happen next? _

_Thanks to my little incentive in the last chapter (guess I made you an offer you couldn't refuse, ha!), I got all kinds of reviews, including a number from first time reviewers. So now that I know you're out there, please review! Seriously, it makes me insanely happy to get that email with a review, and I was so motivated by all the reviews to get this chapter up earlier than usual._


	38. Chapter 38

_**Chapter 38**_

Les headed out once I was completely calm again. I was never really un-calm, but he knew me well enough to know that I wasn't totally okay with the new path the day had taken either, so he stayed with me for a little while.

Eventually, I convinced him that I was okay and he reluctantly headed back to his regularly scheduled life and work.

I didn't see or hear from Ranger for days. Les saw him at work when they had the briefing to fill him in on everything that had happened in his absence two days later. He'd been gone a year, so it would be a very long briefing, and Bobby insisted that Ranger have at least 48 hours to rest before he do any type of work. Bobby refused to clear him for anything other than the briefing, which had left Ranger livid, but Bobby was adamant that he needed rest and to heal from his injuries.

I didn't ask about his injuries. I didn't think I wanted to know.

Les said that Ranger appeared shocked to hear about how I'd taken over the bond's office and had increased business. He didn't seem to be thrilled that I had negotiated access to the search programs, but Tank essentially told him to suck it up, that the three of them had agreed and signed the contract, so Ranger couldn't do shit about it.

Les had smiled when he told me about that.

Ranger had vanished up to the seventh floor then, and no one had seen him since. Bobby would check on him in another couple of days if he didn't come out of hiding.

I felt bad for Ranger, I really did. I didn't agree with what he did, but I could sort of understand his twisted, and stupid, rationale. It was dumb, even he agreed with that, but he had somewhat good intentions.

Of course, if he hadn't been a stupid man, I probably wouldn't be with Les right now. Les thought I was in some type of weird relationship with Ranger and would have never said anything about his feelings for me except Ranger had been a dumbass. And I had never been in such a wonderful relationship with such an amazing man. I wouldn't change that for anything.

Maybe Ranger and I could eventually be friends again. I hoped that at least Les and Ranger could be friends again. It would make the whole running a major business together really awkward if they couldn't.

I snuggled against Les's side and decided to distract both of us from thinking about it anymore. It didn't take much, just a kiss and a soft moan for him to get the idea, and then I was in his arms and he was practically sprinting towards the bedroom.

Sometimes it was really nice to be married to a man with ESP.

Les told me a few days later that Bobby finally cleared Ranger for office duty. Ranger was anemic and undernourished from over a year in someplace I can't be told about doing things I also can't be told about, so it would take a while before Bobby would consider clearing him for fieldwork. Ranger was not pleased, but even he couldn't gainsay the medical officer.

That evening, Les got called out to help bring in a high dollar skip who'd been spotted in a bar. Since it was my high dollar skip, and I'd been the one to bond him out, I couldn't do anything to help get him out of the bar other than wish them luck. Les gave me a steamy kiss, dressed quickly and left.

Phone calls at four am are never a good thing. Wait, haven't we done this before?

I felt dread pool in my stomach as I grabbed my cell phone. "Yo," I answered.

"Beautiful, first, I need you to know that I love you more than anything," Les said.

The dread intensified. "I love you, too. What's wrong?"

He sighed. "I need you to come bail me and Ranger out."

It took a minute for that to compute in my sleep-fogged brain. "What?"

"We got arrested, and we need you to bond us out," Les repeated.

Oh, this was going to be good. "I'm not bonding anybody out until I know why you got arrested!"

"We got into a fight once the guys left to take the skip to jail."

"Over?"

"You."

"Shit!"

"Yeah. Please, baby, can you please come down and get us? And call Bobby, Ranger needs to see him."

"Do you?"

I could hear the smirk in his voice when he answered. "No."

"You're in so much trouble, Lester Santos," I warned.

He sighed. "I know, Beautiful. Just get here soon, please."

"On my way."

I called Bobby and told him to meet me at the jail. Then I threw on some clothes and headed towards the jail.

Bobby was already waiting with his big black medic bag. "Bomber, what the hell's going on?" Bobby asked anxiously.

"No clue, man. Les just called and said they'd gotten into a fight and then got arrested, and to call you cause Ranger needed to see you. That's all I know," I said as I held up one hand to forestall any other questions. "Come in with me and we'll see if we can get some answers."

Robin Russell was working the front desk. "Came for your husband?" she asked.

I nodded. "He's in deep shit, but I love him."

Robin laughed. "You going to bond out Ranger too?"

"Haven't decided yet. I want to know what the hell happened between those two before I decide," I told her.

Bobby laughed behind me and I shot him a glare.

"Bomber, it was bound to happen," Bobby said. "Ranger's been walking around like a bear with a sore paw. He didn't expect to come back and find you married, especially not to Santos. So they were going to have a confrontation at some point."

"A fight? Outside a bar? After picking up a skip? They couldn't work it out in the gym with you standing by to put a stop to it if it got too out of hand?"

Bobby shook his head. "Guess not, Bomber."

I sighed and looked back at Robin. "Let me see them, please."

She nodded with a smile. "I've already got them in a holding room. They promised to behave, and Carl's with them to make sure they behave."

"Thanks, Robin."

Bobby and I followed her into one of the holding rooms. Les and Ranger both stood as soon as we walked in. Les pulled me into his arms and Bobby whistled before he headed over to check out Ranger. I heard Carl and Robin leave us alone.

Ranger looked like shit. His lip was split and bleeding, both eyes were already turning black and the way he was standing, his ribs hurt.

"You okay?" I asked Les.

He nodded. "Fine, baby."

I looked him over carefully. He did look fine. His hands looked red and swollen, and he had a bruise on his jaw, but that was all I could see. Once I knew he was okay, I punched him in the arm. He mock pouted at me and rubbed his arm. "I'm going to regret teaching you to fight, ain't I?" he asked.

Damn skippy.

"He okay?" I asked Bobby.

"He will be," Bobby said as he poked and prodded at Ranger. "Damn, man," he said to Les. "You really worked him over!"

"He should have kept his fucking mouth shut about my wife," Les growled as he pulled me closer to his side.

Bobby shook his head and glared at Ranger. "What the hell did you say about Bomber?"

I glared at him too. I wanted to know as well.

Ranger glared furiously at all of us. "You don't need to know," he finally growled.

"The hell I don't!" I snarled. "If you want me to bail your ass out of jail, I need to know what the hell you said!"

Bobby harrumphed. "And if you want me to wrap your ribs, I need to know what you said about my little sister," Bobby said as he stuck his hands on his hips and glared.

Ranger kept his mouth shut so I turned to Les. "What did he say?"

"Baby, you don't want to know," Les said. "Please."

Usually please worked wonders on me. Not this time. My curiosity was hooked.

"Sorry, honey, usually you know I'll do whatever you ask if you say please, but not this time. I want to know what he said," I replied implacably.

Les sighed softly and sat down, pulling me in his lap. "Well, primo [cousin]. You want to tell her or will I?" he said.

Ranger remained conspicuously silent.

"Les, honey?" I cajoled. "Tell me."

"He showed up to watch the take down," Les said, speaking slowly. "We had to wait hours for him to finally get drunk enough to come out. Once he did, it was fairly easy. He resisted, but he was no match for us. Hal and Ram were taking him to the cop shop and everyone else was heading out. Ranger asked me to hold up for a minute."

Les fell silent for a second and I could feel him tensing, so I could squeezed his shoulder in silent support.

"So then he started in on me, how I'd moved in on him. I let him bitch for a minute before reminding him that he'd told you that you were too attached and to move on. So you did. And that if he didn't like it, it was just too damn bad. That was when he said he'd be back in your life and in your bed whenever he wanted."

I turned to glare at Ranger. "Have you lost your damn mind?" I asked rhetorically. Clearly he had if he'd said that to Les.

"He said he'd already kissed you."

I turned back to Les. "He tried, before I told him about us. But I turned my head so he just kissed my cheek. I swear," I promised Les.

"I trust you, baby. I just don't trust him."

"Ranger, let me explain things to you. I'm married to Les. I love him and he loves me. There will be NO poaching. If you try to kiss me again, I will kick you in the balls. And as for being in your bed again, once was quite enough and it was pretty much the worst experience of my life. Never again. Got it?"

Bobby choked. "Once? Worst experience of your life? What the fuck?"

Les snorted softly.

"Yeah, I slept with Ranger once because he made a deal that I had to sleep with him if he helped me with a skip. Now before you get all pissy like Les did when he found out, it wasn't like he forced me or anything like that. But then he told me to go back to Joe the next morning, which was not a pleasant feeling at all. So I can tell you this, Ranger Manoso, no matter what happens, I will never, ever be with you. Not ever. I will join a nunnery first."

Bobby started growling and pulled the bandage he was wrapping around Ranger's rib tight. Ranger couldn't stifle a slight wince.

Les kissed my ear. "Not a damn chance, baby."

"He took advantage of you!" Ranger finally spat.

I jumped out of Les's lap. "The hell he did! He never took advantage of me!"

"You were upset! Mad at me and he used that to get you into his bed!"

I laughed manically for a second. Unfortunately, only Les got why that was so funny, so both Ranger and Bobby looked at me like I'd lost my ever lovin' mind. Close.

"Dear God Almighty, if you only knew how ridiculous that was! Les was, still is, my best friend! He was there for me when I needed him. He never took advantage of me. He just let me get to know him, to see what an amazing man he is. And once I saw that, how could I not fall in love with him?"

"How long before you were sleeping with him?" Ranger said in a deadly calm voice. "Two weeks? Three?"

"Until we were married."

Ranger's eyes widened and I smirked at him. "Yeah, smartass. We didn't make love until after we got married, eight months after you left. The first time we were together, it was as husband and wife. He could have gotten me into his bed earlier than that if he'd really tried. I mean, hello! Look at him, he's the sexiest man I've ever known. But he didn't want me to think that he thought of me as just a piece of ass, so he never put any pressure on me. He never treated me like a pick up girl at a club. He treated me like he would the woman he wanted to marry from the very beginning. That's hardly taking advantage of me."

I paused for a minute to glare at him. "Any other bullshit you need me to debunk?"

I watched Ranger swallow hard.

"A lot's changed in a year, Ranger," I told him. "I'm not the same girl I was when you left. I let you poach with Joe because I knew things with him were never real, and because at one point, I hoped that something might develop between us. But you were the one who said that was impossible. And that was a good thing, because if you hadn't, Les would have never told me how he felt. He would have never tried to come between us when he thought we had some sort of fucked up relationship. He's too honorable for that. But I'm with him now, and I've never been happier, and if you try to screw with that, then you will have one seriously pissed Jersey girl after you. I might not have the training you guys have, but I can still make your life miserable. Don't forget, I'm family now, and your abuela will beat your ass if I tell her what you've said and done!"

Les started laughing. "Shit, abuela would beat you with her wooden spoon if I told her you were trying to hit on my wife! She loves Steph!"

"You've met abuela?" Ranger asked.

I nodded. "And your parents and your siblings, hell, I've met pretty much all your family," I told him.

Ranger turned to glare at Les. "What? It was the holidays, I couldn't not bring my new bride to the family Christmas parties," Les explained.

"Fuck."

"So you try to screw with us, Ranger, and I will unleash hell on Earth on your Cuban ass," I warned. "I can do it, too. Hell hath no fury and all that."

"Shit, Bomber, you're one scary bitch sometimes," Bobby said in awe.

"And don't you forget it, Brown," I told him seriously.

"Do you need to spend some time in the pokey to think about it, or are you smart enough to understand it now?" I asked Ranger. "Because I am the only way that your ass will get out of jail tonight. And unless you give me your word of honor that you will keep your damn lips and hands to yourself, you will stay here indefinitely."

"Pure evil," Bobby muttered as he went back to patching up Ranger. Ranger remained the freaking sphinx.

"So when did it go from words to flying fists?" I asked Les.

He groaned. "Shit, I hoped you wouldn't ask." I shot him a look. He knew better than that.

"He wouldn't shut the fuck up about how he could have you back in his bed. I told him it would never happen. He smirked at me and asked why I was so damn sure, and I told him it was because you didn't have enough energy left for any other men, I made damn sure of that. That's when he took a swing at me. Training took over at that point and I subdued him, but he wasn't smart enough to stay down."

I shook my head at his comment, but it was true. I didn't have enough energy to think about other men. Hell, some days I barely had enough energy to get myself to work. Forget about walking, it was good that I had a dedicated parking spot right next to the front door now.

"I tried to go easy on him," Les continued, "but he kept running his mouth and kept trying to fight me. I know he's still recovering from his mission and not up to par, so I finally just knocked him out so he'd stop fighting and I wouldn't have to really hurt him. That's when Officer Picky showed up and arrested us both. I should have just put him out earlier and we wouldn't be in this situation now."

"If this was you trying to go easy on him, I wouldn't want to see what you'd do if you were really pissed," Bobby said.

"This was his one free pass because I know it had to be hard to come back and see Steph married, especially to me. But if he says shit like that again, I won't go easy on him, and a couple of bruised ribs will be the absolute least of his worries," Les said with a ferocious glare that should have overridden Ranger's control of his bowels. "If he survives it, he'll wish he was dead."

Ranger snorted.

"Look around, man. Who's hurting in this room? It ain't me," Les drawled.

"I could always beat you on the mats," Ranger replied as stoically as he could with a busted lip. "Once I'm back in shape, we can revisit this conversation."

"I never gave you my A-game because I knew it was important for you to be seen as the top dog. But if you really want to see who's really the best, fine. Once you're better, we'll see."

"What? What do you mean you never brought your A-game?" Ranger almost roared.

Les shrugged. "I did sometimes, and that's when I beat you. But if I was seen winning all the time, or even most of the time, it would create conflict with the guys. You needed to be seen as the best to be the boss. And if I beat you at hand-to-hand even the majority of the time, you wouldn't have that authority. It took a lot to beat you, but I could. I can. I knew that you needed to be the best and they needed to see you that way. So as long as I could beat everyone else, which I can and do on a regular basis, that was enough for me."

Ranger looked pole axed. "So you threw the fights?"

"Basically. I figured you knew. I used to kick your ass all the time before we started the business. What did you think had changed?"

Ranger just stared at him.

"Did you think you got that much better, or I got that much worse?" Les asked.

Ranger didn't respond.

I turned to look at Les. "Psych major stuff again?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

Ranger looked like he was going into shock. "You've completely destroyed his world view," I told Les.

Les shrugged. "I figured he had to know even though we never talked about it. I won enough to let him know I still could, but I stopped winning so much once we opened RangeMan. I was sure he knew that I just didn't want to discredit him in the eyes of the guys."

I looked at the stunned man sitting in the chair. "I don't think he knew that."

"Guess not. I was always better at the hand-to-hand stuff. He's better at business bullshit and all that, so I was fine with him being the CEO. Even Tank has more patience for it than me, so it's fine that he's second in command. I'm good with being third. But I've always been best at hand-to-hand combat, and he should remember that before he starts throwing punches at me."

He glared at Ranger. "I'm a better fucking shot, too."

Yeah, there was no warning in that statement.

Guess my sarcasm off button is broken tonight.

"Alright boys, you're both in deep shit," I told them. I looked over at Les first. "I get that you were trying to defend my honor and all that, but stop it. I can defend myself."

"Baby, I will always defend you. I love you."

I melted a little at that. "I love you, too. But you have to stop beating the shit out of your cousin. Got it?"

He pouted a little but nodded reluctantly.

"And you," I said as I turned to Ranger. "What are you even upset about? If you wanted more, you had your chance and you blew it. You don't like it? Tough shit. Life sucks and then you die. Deal with it. You try to touch me again as anything other than just a friendly hug, and you won't have to worry about my husband beating the shit out of you. I don't know where your famous self-control went, but find it. Got it?"

Ranger stared at me for a minute before he finally nodded too.

"Now do you promise to behave yourself with me and Les, or do you want a cellmate named Bubba for a few days?"

"Babe."

"Not an answer, Ranger."

"Fine."

"No, I need to hear the words, 'Yes, Stephanie, I promise to act like a gentleman with both you and Lester' if you want out of here tonight." I wasn't above playing hardball.

"Babe."

"I want the words. I still believe that you'll keep your word if you make the promise, so let's hear it if you want to walk out of here," I said.

He sighed but repeated what I wanted to hear. I nodded in satisfaction. "Thank you." Then I pulled out the bond agreements and slid them in front of each idiot, er, bondee. "Sign these, but it's not like I don't know where to find you if you go FTA."

Les grinned at me. "You going to bring me in if I do?"

"You just want me to handcuff you," I teased.

"Well, it was fun last time!"

Ranger growled slightly and Bobby groaned. "Seriously, can you two please stop it with the sex talk?" he asked.

I smiled and held out a hand to help Les to his feet. He took his and stood, yanking me quickly into his arms. "I promise not to go FTA," he whispered huskily.

I smiled. "Good. I think Bobby would find it awkward to have to drag you in."

Bobby laughed. "Might be fun," he mused. Les shot him a mock glare.

"When do you work again?" I asked Les.

Les looked at his watch and groaned. "Hour and a half."

"Nope. He's offline. Make it happen," I told Bobby.

Bobby grinned at me, snapped to attention and saluted. "Yes, ma'am."

"You'll see him day after tomorrow," I told Bobby, ignoring his smartass antics. "Fix Ranger. Check him for brain damage too, I'm pretty sure he's got some to pull a stunt like this. I'll be back in a minute once they process the paperwork."

I took the two forms they'd signed and headed back out to talk to the cops. Robin laughed when she saw me. "Everything okay?"

"Men are idiots. Other than that, everything's fine. Here's the paperwork, can we get them out now?" I asked.

Robin nodded and went to work, typing furiously. In almost no time at all, the guys were ready to go.

I took Les home, and left poor Bobby to deal with Ranger.

_**Author's note: **__What, you didn't think it would be easy, did you? They're both macho Alpha males, and they were going to have to have some type of confrontation eventually. And I see Ranger as mostly a cool and collected Spock-type character, but there's enough of the passionate Latin in him that he was left simmering in rage that Steph had moved on with his cousin while he was gone, and that slow-burning rage exploded on Les with the predictable results. Several of you asked for fisticuffs, so here ya go!_

_And with Ranger still not back to normal and Les being great at hand-to-hand stuff, Ranger got his ass handed to him. And now he's got a double whammy learning that Les had let him win some of the fights on the mats over the years to let Ranger keep his title of top dog at the RangeMan junkyard. Everyone has their strengths, and Ranger's gotten a little arrogant in thinking that his were: D) all of the above._

_I've been really busy this week and I haven't been able to personally answer all of the reviews yet, but I promise I'm working on it! Please leave a review and I'll respond as quickly as I can. Pretty please with whipped cream and a RangeMan on top? (way better than a cherry, right?)_


	39. Chapter 39

_**Chapter 39**_

I left a message for Connie while an oddly quiet Les drove us home. I told her I wouldn't be in, but to call if anything major happened.

As penance for making me be up and functional before 5 in the freaking morning, I made him take me through the McDonalds drive thru for a very early breakfast. Les was apologetic when we finally got home and collapsed onto bed, our stomachs full of greasy goodness.

"I'm sorry, baby," he said as he pulled me tightly against him.

"I know."

"I just couldn't let him say those things without saying something, and when he took a swing at me, it was pure reflex at that point."

"I know."

So with a gentle kiss, we fell asleep. I woke many hours later, with sunshine streaming in through the windows. Les was still sleeping, and the bruise on his jaw was darkening a little, making him look dangerous. It was sexy.

I watched him for a little while until he started stirring a little, and then I pounced.

He woke up with a smile, and I made sure that smile stayed put. He didn't object. Of course, he was too busy clutching the sheets for dear life to say much, but I figure I'd have known if he objected. And he didn't.

"Damn, Beautiful!" he said much, much later, once he could speak again.

"Good morning," I purred softly.

"Damn straight, it's a good morning!"

I chuckled softly and headed off to the shower. Someone had gotten me all dirty already this morning.

Les followed me on shaky legs. Damn, I'm good.

We made sandwiches for lunch, and sat down at the table together.

"So I guess you don't completely hate me," Les said as he chewed his sandwich.

I looked up and grinned, and he winked at me.

"Best wake up call I've ever gotten!" he declared.

"Happy to have been of assistance," I told him. "And no, I don't hate you. I'm not happy with what happened, but I understand that you couldn't just stand there and let Ranger say bullshit like that. I wouldn't be able to let some girl say stuff like that about you without ripping her hair off."

He smiled at me and nodded.

"I just need you to know that it's not true," I told him.

"Baby, I know. I know you love me and I know you'd never cheat on me. Just like I'd never cheat on you."

"Good. But I think I need to have a conversation with Ranger once he calms down a little. We need to gets things clear between us before he pushes you too far. I don't want you to kill him! That would make the holidays with your family extremely awkward, don't you think?"

Les smiled grimly. "They'd understand, I think. I don't want to fight him, but I won't let him disrespect you, or us, like that. So he needs to get it in his hard head that he lost his chance and you moved on."

"So let me talk to him, try to get him to understand. I know this is a big shock for him, but he can't go around starting fights with you over it."

"Give him a few days, Beautiful. Then we'll see. Right now, he's not himself, and I don't necessarily trust him with you just yet."

"Ranger would never hurt me," I dismissed.

"No, not when he's in his right mind. But he's not in his right mind right now. He's still coming off his extended mission, and he's not physically or psychologically back up to speed. And learning that you're married to me of all people has really thrown him for a loop. So you need to give it time before you're alone with him. Please, baby. Just trust me on this. It would kill me to see you hurt, and I'd hate to have to kill my cousin. And it would kill him to know he hurt you, even accidentally."

I stared at him in shock. "You really think it's that bad?"

Les nodded seriously. "For now. He'll probably be back to normal soon, but for now… Baby, I just don't want to risk it. Not for your sake and not for his. Okay?"

I just nodded reluctantly. I wouldn't have figured that Ranger would have started the fight with Les last night, so maybe he wasn't himself right now. And despite my self-defense training with Les, even on my best day and his worst, I was no match for Ranger.

Les hugged me to his chest. "Thank you. I know you don't like it, but thank you for trusting me on this."

Bobby came by to check on Les after lunch. He'd learned to his detriment to always call first, so he called from the street to make sure he didn't walk in on something, again, that would shock him. We told him it was safe to enter, and he let himself in.

It only took a minute for Bobby to clear Les.

"How's Ranger?" I asked.

Bobby shook his head. "Physically, he'll heal. No broken bones, but he's pretty bruised up. He hasn't recovered from his trip yet, and this didn't help."

Les held up his hands in surrender at Bobby's glare. "Hey, man, I tried to go easy on him! He's the one who wouldn't stop running his damn mouth!"

I had to stifle a giggle. Both Bobby and Les turned to me with matching looks of confusion. "Just never thought I'd hear anyone complain about Ranger not shutting up," I explained through my morbid laughter.

Les smiled a little. "I told you, Beautiful, he's not right yet."

Bobby nodded. "Yeah, I have to agree with Santos. The Ranger we know would have never flown off the handle like that. I'm going to make him see the psychiatrist before I'll clear him back to active duty."

Les grimaced. "He's going to hate that, man," Les warned.

Bobby shrugged. "Too bad. Clearly, stuff is bothering him. I know it's hard seeing Bomber married. I know you said you two were just friends, but obviously he thought that maybe more was going on, Bombshell."

I sighed. "He told me I was too attached, Bobby," I said. "He said it was a good thing he was leaving so I could get unattached. He said he didn't think he'd make it back from his one, that he was trying to make me angry so I'd get over him easier if he died, but he never told me what was going on then, so I did what he said. I got over him. He told me to move on, and I did. I'm sorry if he's hurt now, but how long is a girl supposed to wait? I waited for three years! That was plenty long enough for him to make a move if he wanted to make one. He didn't. So I moved on, and I'm glad I did. I'm much happier with Les than I ever could have been with Ranger."

Bobby leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "I know, Bomber. I'm not blaming you for anything. You deserve to be happy, and God knows I'm happy to see Santos happy finally. You two almost make me sick, really. But I'm saying that he didn't expect this, and it's hard for him to handle on top of whatever else happened while he was gone."

"What do we do, Bobby?" I whispered. "I don't want to hurt him, he was one of my best friends for a long time and I hope we can go back to being friends eventually. But I can't let him go around telling everyone he can get back in my bed and shit like that. It's not true. You know I'd never do that to Les, right? You know that I'd never cheat on him, right?"

I know everyone thought I'd been with both Joe and Ranger, but the truth was that I hadn't. The one time I'd slept with Ranger, I'd been broken up with Joe. Yeah, Ranger and I had kissed when I'd been dating Joe, and I still felt somewhat guilty about that, but I'd never been sleeping with the two of them.

"I know, Bomber. I know," Bobby soothed as Les hauled me against his chest in a massive hug. "Right now, there's not much you can do. Ranger's got his own demons to fight."

I sighed and fought back the tears that wanted to flow. Damn stupid tears, who invited them to the party, anyways?

"She wants to talk to him one-on-one, but I told her it needed to wait until he was back to himself," Les said.

Bobby nodded vehemently, looking for all the world like a giant, but hot, bobble head doll. "Gotta wait on that one, Bomber. He's still too messed up with everything, too unpredictable right now."

"You think he might snap or something too?" I asked.

Bobby nodded more slowly. "I don't know how he might react, which is part of the reason I won't clear him for field work or active duty. Part of it is that he's physically not capable of it just yet, but part of it is that I just don't know how he might react after his uncharacteristic behavior yesterday. Ranger doesn't start fights, at least not anymore. Hasn't in years."

I sighed. "Fine. But once he's back to himself, he and I need to talk."

"Yeah, I can see that," Bobby agreed. "Just not yet."

"'Kay."

Bobby had to head back to RangeMan, so Les and I just spent the rest of the day hanging out and de-stressing. I went by Pino's to pick up dinner while Les got in a late workout, and of course, since my day hadn't been tough enough, I ran into Joe.

"Hey, Cupcake," Joe said with a smirk.

"Don't call me that!" I said as I rolled my eyes.

He grinned at me. "Sorry. Habit."

"Break it."

After the scene in the police station when I'd nearly dropped him to the ground and he'd accepted my marriage to Les, we were starting to be at least cordial with one another. He'd apologized for his behavior when he'd broken into my apartment, both times, and he'd had to undergo mandatory anger management training courtesy of the police department.

He now had a disciplinary letter in his official record, and he could be fired if he did anything stupid like that again. I could only hope that was sufficient warning that he'd never be such an idiot again.

"Heard I'm not the only member of the Stephanie Plum broken heart club who reacted badly to you getting married," Joe continued with a grin.

"At least he didn't crash my reception," I shot back.

Joe had the grace to look embarrassed. "Yeah, not my finest moment."

"Hardly."

"Look, I'm trying to get Picky to drop the charges against Santos, at least. He was just defending your honor, best I could tell from the stories I heard. I'll see what I can do about Manoso, if you want, but you might want to leave those pending for leverage since you bonded him out," Joe continued.

I looked at him suspiciously. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I've been an asshole to you for years and it's the least I can do to try to make it up to you," he said seriously.

"You're just now coming to the realization that you were an asshole? What brought that up?"

Joe rubbed his neck in discomfort. "Um, we haven't really told anyone yet, but turns out that Cathy's pregnant. It's a girl."

I beamed at him. I knew he'd been seeing a middle school teacher for the last few months since he'd gotten his act together. "Congratulations! I know that's what you've always wanted."

"Yeah. But Cathy pointed out that I should start going to church now and praying that my little girl never meets a little boy like me. She'd heard the stories about what a jerk I was when I was little, and I realized I'd kill any asshole who treated my little girl like I treated girls, like I treated you."

I smirked at him. "What comes around, goes around, Joe."

He groaned and closed his eyes. "I know! That's what I'm afraid of! So I might have to hire your husband's company to set up security when she hits puberty."

"You corrupted me when I was six," I reminded him.

"Shit," he moaned. "I'm never going to let her out of the house!"

I had to laugh. "She'll find a way to sneak out, I'm sure. She'll be half-Morelli, and she'll probably be a hellraiser just like you."

"Why do you hate me?" he moaned.

"How much time you got?"

"Damn."

I grinned at him. "I'm happy for you, Joe. Tell Cathy I said congratulations, too. And for her to stay the heck away from your grandma Bella!"

Joe groaned again. "We haven't told them yet, so keep it to yourself!"

I nodded. "I will. And if you can get Picky to drop the charges against both Les and Ranger, I'd appreciate it."

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks."

I left feeling like I was in the Twilight Zone. I'd had a friendly conversation with Joe, he'd admitted he'd been a jerk and he was trying to make amends. And he was having a little girl! How's that for karma being a bitch?

I told Les the story over pizza, and he was suitably amused. "We should tell Joe you're pregnant with a little Lester just to make him sweat," he opined. I had to grin at the thought.

"He'd move to Alaska!"

Les grinned at me. "And wouldn't that be fun?"

I shook my head. "Hey, he's trying to get Officer Picky to drop the charges against you two. So we need him to not move just yet. And they haven't even told their families yet, so we can't tell anyone about Morelli's demon spawn."

We finished our pizza, and then Les swung me up in his arms. I yelped and he shot me his wolf smile.

"Just because we don't plan to have kids doesn't mean we can't practice, right?"

Oh boy!

_**Author's note: **__Hopefully this chapter addresses some of the concerns you lovely folks expressed about Ranger running his mouth about Les and Steph. After being away for a year doing God knows what, he's just not himself yet. I promise he'll be back to the Batman we all love… eventually. Just not yet. In real life, many of our veterans come back with psychological challenges and transition issues after deployments, and it makes sense that Ranger might struggle a little, especially given all that's changed while he was gone._

_Has Joe begun to redeem himself yet? Steph will never __really__ trust him again, but I don't really think Joe's a hideous monster, he's just not the right guy for Steph. He's 'Burg through and through, and Steph is decidedly not. So they could never truly be happy together in my humble opinion. Joe's definitely not the hero of this story, but I didn't want to end it with him still the awful jerk. Plus Joe Morelli having a little girl is going to keep him up at nights! My dad said he never truly realized what a jerk he had been until I was born, and he realized how he'd kill any boy who treated me the way he treated girls when he was younger (my dad was a player and a half!)._

_This story is almost done, alas. I'm going to be so bummed to say goodbye to Les and Steph! My plan is to get back to 'Distracting Ranger' once this one's wrapped up, but I also have a number of other Tart stories that in various stages of completion that I could begin posting after that._

_So, my friends, please help me to decide which Merry Man to focus on after 'Distracting Ranger' by voting in the comments or sending me private message:_

_- __**Hal**__: Steph's working at RangeMan and off sugar while surrounded by hot guys all day long. How long until she snaps? Somewhat Cupcake unfriendly._

_- __**Ram**__: After Steph breaks up with Joe for good, Ranger drops out of her life, despite still being in Trenton. Steph becomes friends with Ram when he's injured in a take down gone wrong, and things begin to heat up from there… Cupcake neutral._

_- __**Woody**__: Ranger snaps from stress and pushes Stephanie away – literally. Woody and some of the other guys leave RangeMan and open their own PI firm, and invite Steph to come with them. Over time, their professional relationship evolves into something more. Cupcake neutral._

_Please review! I'm still making way through the reviews from the last chapter after a new restaurant in town gave us food poisoning yesterday for lunch. Great diet plan, but not the approach I prefer for bathing suit season! I appreciate your reviews and your patience as I respond to them as soon as I can._


	40. Chapter 40

_**Chapter 40**_

When I woke up the next morning, Les was already gone to work. This is not surprising given that I don't usually wake up at the butt crack of dawn like my demented husband does.

I'd only been at the office for a few hours before I got the call to go bond out my favorite sky-high friend.

"I'll be back once I get Mooner bonded out again," I told Connie. "Call me if there's anything else while I'm there. Might at well do a two-for-one deal if I can."

She just grinned and nodded, and then waved me off.

I made it past the alley when my Spidey senses started tingling. I whirled around and flung up an arm just in case. As Les said, better to look stupid reacting to something that isn't there to be dead by not reacting to something that is there.

Good thing, too. Otherwise the baseball bat that broke my arm would have smashed in my skull instead. I didn't manage to deflect the blow entirely, that would be expecting too much, but it did limit how bad the blow to my head was.

I screamed bloody murder, trusting that Connie and Lula would hear and then launched into the self-defense moves that Les had drilled me on for a year now. I kicked my attacked in the knee and took perverse pleasure when I felt his knee snap. It also snapped the heel off my favorite high heels. Yet another thing to be pissed about, but it's not like I needed excuses.

As the lowlife sunk to his uninjured knee in agony in front of me, I shoved his nose back into his head. I had a split second to decide that he didn't look enough like Lord Voldemort yet, so I punched him none to gently, but not hard enough to be fatal, in the throat, mostly to make him shut up. His wails were making my head hurt. He fell over and, thankfully, fell silent.

"White girl!" Lula yelled as she charged round the corner, her big .44 leading the way. She grabbed me as I swayed and helped me lean against the building.

"Oh God, Steph!" Connie shrieked. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head slowly to see if I could answer that question. Not sure yet.

Connie and Lula helped me sit down before I fell down. I sucked in a deep breath and tried not to be sick.

"Just breathe, Steph," Connie said. "I hit the panic button so everyone will be here in a second."

"No," I moaned. "Call. Tell them I'm okay."

I tried to look up when a shadow fell across us. It was big and black, that was all I could see through the Tweety Birds manically circling my head. Had to be a RangeMan, but I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to see which one.

"Babe, you aren't okay."

My brain was distracted with Tweety Birds and I was starting to feel a little more sympathy for Sylvester the cat. If Tweety annoyed him like this, I understood why Sylvester had tried to kill him all the time.

"Babe?"

I was sucking in breaths and trying hard not to puke. "Ranger?"

I felt him tuck a curl behind my ear and I winced when it hurt like hell. "Yeah, Babe."

"Paramedics on their way?" he asked someone, presumably Connie and/or Lula.

"Yeah. I'm sure the cavalry will be here any second," Connie said.

"Proud of you, Babe," Ranger said. "You handled yourself good."

I tried to nod but it hurt. I didn't know who'd hit me, but I was going to kill him.

"I can take care of that for you," Ranger offered in a soft voice. Guess I spoke out loud.

I was trying to figure out what to say when I heard the screech of tires followed by the pounding of boots.

"Stephanie!" Les yelled.

"Bomber! Fuck!" was Bobby's contribution. "Get my kit!"

A few seconds later, I felt them drop down beside me. "I'm fine," I tried to tell them.

"Bullshit, baby, you aren't fine. What's wrong?" Les asked frantically as he wrapped his arms around me.

I winced. "Broken arm. Maybe broken head."

"Cal, secure the bastard," Les barked.

"Where's your head hurt?" Les asked me in a more gentle tone. I tried to open my eyes to reassure him, but it hurt.

"Back and left," I told him. Then I felt gentle fingers probing at the goose egg.

"Big bump, Bomber," Bobby said. "Any nausea or blurry vision?"

"Yes."

"Which one?" Bobby asked.

"Both."

"I need you to open your eyes for me," he said as he tugged gently on my eyelids. Guess tiny little slits weren't enough. I opened them wider but winced as Bobby shone a light in them.

"That hurt?" Bobby queried.

"Mm hmm."

"Pretty definite concussion. We'll have to get you to the hospital to check it out," Bobby pronounced. No kidding. At least they had good drugs at the hospital.

"Double vision?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"You're talking to thin air," he said.

"Oh. I guessed wrong then."

"At what?"

"At which Les was the real one." I got an anxious smile from the real Les but he didn't seem to relax at my attempt at humor.

"Which arm, Beautiful?" Les asked.

"Left," I whispered.

"We don't seem to have good luck with left arms," he told me as he pulled it gently out of my lap.

I tried to smile. "No."

I heard them all suck in a gasp as they pushed up the sleeve of my shirt. "Pretty sure it's broken, Beautiful," Les told me. "What the hell happened?"

"Don't know. Bastard jumped me and I barely got my arm up in time to deflect the bat. Used your moves to knock him out," I said as Bobby gently touched my rapidly swelling arm.

Bobby tilted my head forward gently so he could check the back of my head. Even that minor movement made me want to puke so I groaned. Les's arms tightened around me and he pressed a fervent kiss to my cheek.

"It's okay, Beautiful. You'll be fine. Just let Bobby take a look at you," he whispered in my ear. Then he went into Spanish, which he knew I found distracting as hell. I recognized the words love and sweetheart but the rest was a blur. I heard Ranger suck in a gasp, but he spoke Spanish way better than I did.

I was trying to focus on the string of soft Spanish words and ignore the rest of the world. I knew there were cops and such around, but I was hoping they would leave me be for a minute since Connie and Lula saw the whole thing and could give them an eyewitness report.

I opened my eyes again and saw Bobby kneeling in front of me looking anxious. Ranger was standing at parade rest behind Bobby, but his face was completely blank.

Okay, can't deal with that now.

I focused on Bobby. "My head's getting worse," I whispered. "You guys are really blurry now."

"Where the fuck is that ambulance?" Bobby shouted.

"Ten minutes out," one of the cops said. "Multi-car pile up on the other side of town has them busy."

"We don't have time to wait," Bobby said. "We'll take her in the SUV. Woody, get it ready. We'd appreciate a police escort."

With that, Bobby gently lifted me out of Lester's arms. A few seconds later, Les had me back in his arms and we were moving quickly but carefully towards a waiting SUV.

Woody was standing by with the back door open and the seats folded down. A blanket was spread down across the folded down seats and Bobby and Lester gently laid me down. Then they both crawled in and sat cross-legged beside me.

The door closed and then I heard the front door close a few seconds later. A siren started up and I had to close my eyes as the shrill sound burrowed into my brain. While we were in transit, Bobby got an IV started in my right hand. "How's the head now?" he asked.

"Sucks pretty bad," I answered.

Then he did other medic-y things that I wasn't at all interested in at the moment. A few minutes later, the SUV pulled to a gently stop and the back door was flung open.

"Hey, guys," came a familiar voice. "I thought I was done with seeing you guys for a little while."

I opened my eyes enough to see Dr. Rebecca Henley, the doctor who'd treated Les a all those months ago, standing there. "Hi," I said weakly. "Me too."

Then I was being lifted out and placed on a gurney, which started moving almost immediately. Bobby started rattling off things and I tuned him out, electing to focus on keeping a tight grip on Les's hand as he strode through the ER with me.

Dr. Henley started asking questions and poking and prodding at me. I tried to answer without snarling at her, but being poked in the head when someone had just hit it with a baseball bat hurt!

"Okay," she said as she finally stopped torturing, er, examining me. "You most definitely have a concussion, probably a pretty bad one. I'm going to send you down for some brain scans to make sure there's no skull fracture or anything like that. I'll get a neurologist in here ASAP to review those with us. Second, your arm is clearly broken and I don't really like the way it looks right now. So we'll get some x-rays of that too but I have a feeling we might have to reset some bones. The minute your brain scans are cleared, I'll give you enough happy drugs that you'll be high as a kite so we can get your arm fixed up. Sound good?"

"Drugs sound good," I murmured.

I heard her laugh a little. "I'll go ahead and get a syringe of the good stuff ready. The minute I know it's okay, I'll personally send you to la-la land."

"'kay."

"And I know better than to suggest you guys leave, but let's keep it quiet. I'll expedite the x-rays and scans but it'll be a few minutes at least before we can do that. Do you want to get her into a gown or do you want one of the nurses to do it?"

"We'll do it," Bobby answered.

"Bomber, we're going to get you undressed now," Bobby said. "The least painful thing for you would be for me to cut off your shirt. Is that okay?"

This is why I love Bobby. He asks things first. I had to think for a minute about what I was wearing. It was just a button up dress shirt from the mall. Cute, but nothing terribly special.

"Fine," I replied.

Then I felt Les lift me up into a sitting position and hold me while Bobby quickly dissected my shirt. As soon as the material fell away from me, Bobby whisked it away and replaced it with an oh so fashionable hospital gown.

Then someone, Les, I think, removed my heels and slacks. "You want some socks?" Les asked softly. He knew my feet froze all the time and the hospital room was cold.

"Please."

I could hear him speaking softly into his phone for a minute as Bobby tucked blankets around me. There was a soft tap on the door and then it opened. I opened my eyes in time to see Woody handing over a small black bag to Les.

Les opened it and pulled out a pair of thick, tall wool socks before gently pulling them on my feet. They felt very warm and cozy.

"Where'd those come from?" I asked softly, trying not to make my head start hurting again.

"Bomber bag," Bobby said softly. "We keep a bag in the back of the SUVs now, just in case."

Color me confused. "A bag for me?"

"Yeah. Socks, t-shirt, sweat pants, that sort of thing," Bobby said as he adjusted my IV flow rate. "It's not just for you, it's stuff we can use too in an emergency, but we thought about in case you needed it at first."

I wasn't sure whether to be touched that all the guys worried that much about me or pissed that they all thought I was that incompetent.

"It's a good idea to have the stuff," Les told me. "But it started a long time ago before you'd gotten as good as you are now. So don't be mad. Please?"

I closed my eyes and nodded. "Thanks."

I felt him brush a kiss on my lips. "You need anything, Beautiful?

"Another blanket?" I asked as I shivered violently. "I'm freezing."

I heard Bobby curse slightly before he started opening cabinets. Then Les was tucking another blanket around me. "Be right back," Bobby said as he slid out the door.

"Becky!" I heard him call out. "She's freezing, we gotta get those scans right now!"

"Why's being cold so bad?" I asked Les.

He looked as confused as I felt. "Don't know, baby. You want me to hold you, try to warm you up for a minute?"

"Yes!"

He slid the side rail down and crawled in against my right side, taking care not to jostle my sore left arm. I felt so much better once his strong arms and warm body were against mine and I relaxed against him.

"Hey, Stephanie," Dr. Henley said a minute later. "I hear you're cold. How cold are you?"

"Not as bad now that he's with me," I told her sleepily.

"Steph, I need you to wake up," Dr. Henley said sternly. I snapped my eyes open in surprise. "How cold were you before he got in bed with you?" she asked again.

"Really cold," I told her in confusion.

"Shivering?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'm going to walk down to the imaging area with you. You being that cold and sleepy might mean your brain got beat up a little more than we thought," she said.

"Do I need to move?" Les asked.

"Nope, you can go on the field trip, too," she said. "You'll have to move once they're ready to do the actual scans, but you can stay with her until then."

"I love you," I mumbled. "All of you."

I got a laugh from Les but opened my eyes to see a concerned look shared between Dr. Henley and Bobby.

"I love you too, Beautiful," Les whispered in my ear. "But I think declaring your love is freaking out Bobby and the doctor."

Oh well. They could get over it.

Les stayed tucked in next to me while Dr. Henley read some tech the riot act for not coming up to get me as soon as they were free, as she'd ordered.

I looked over to see Bobby smirking but the look in his eyes caught my attention. "Bobby?"

He was by my side in an instant. "Yeah, Bomber? What's wrong?"

"So when are you going to ask her out?"

He started flushing, his normally dark skin turning a bit darker. "Um, what?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. "You like my doctor."

He was noticeably silent but I could feel Les shaking with laughter next to me. "Only you would play Cupid when hurt, Beautiful!" Les said.

I just ignored him. "So? When are you going to ask her out?" I asked again.

Bobby stared intently over my shoulder. He finally let out a sigh. "I doubt she would think of me like that."

I snorted, then groaned when it hurt. "Ow!"

"What's wrong?" Bobby asked.

"Headache the size of Montana," I told him. "But don't distract me. I'll find out if she likes you."

"Bomber, no," he begged.

"Relax, Bobby. I'm a girl. I can find out these things. Just leave it to me. I just expect to be invited to the wedding."

He groaned then smirked at me. "I wasn't invited to your wedding," he pointed out.

"Fine, if you run off to Vegas and get married by a Sinatra impersonator, that'll work too."

He swallowed once and seemed to pale a bit. Impressive for such a dark skinned man.

Then Dr. Henley was back and walked with me into the CT room. "I'll be checking out your scans while they're being done," she said. "Then we'll get your arm x-rayed. So just stay put."

I smiled weakly as Bobby and Les gently transferred me from the gurney to the padded bed of the CT scanner. Les tucked blankets around me and then kissed my forehead gently. "See you in a few, Beautiful."

It didn't take long for the machine to do its thing and then I was back in the gurney and being moved into another room.

I was questioning the exact nature of the x-ray tech's relationship with his mother and whether his parents were actually married as he adjusted my arm on the x-ray plate.

He was sweating profusely, probably because of the big guys in black who were glaring at him with evil intent every time I made a noise of pain. I tried to be quiet because I didn't want to see this guy die, but damn it, it hurt!

Finally, Hallelujah, he was done and I could lie back down to try to catch my breath. The pain from having my arm manipulated for the x-ray shots left me breathless and sweaty.

The instant the last image was shot, Les was back by my side, helping me to sit up and lifting me to carry me over to the waiting gurney. "Shh, baby," he whispered as he tucked into to the gurney. "I've got you now."

I squeezed his hand with my unbroken arm like he was my lifeline. I thought my life would be less chaotic now that I wasn't really bounty hunting anymore, but this is me we're talking about, I guess. I'm a magnet for crazies.

The dizziness was pretty bad now, even lying flat on my back, and I was shivering convulsively. My wracking chills were enough to make me jerk enough to hurt my arm, so we stopped in the hall just outside of the radiology department so Les could crawl back in bed with me. I felt much better once my personal radiator was putting out a ton of heat.

We headed back to the emergency room and my room. Bobby convinced Dr. Henley to let me do a quick trip through the waiting room, he knew there would be a ton of men in black wanting to see for themselves that I was okay.

Dr. Henley pushed the button to open the double doors while Bobby tried to keep from crashing the gurney into the wall. It has a strong pull to the left, which made it harder to maneuver.

"Bomber!" someone yelled, Cal, I think. Then I heard lots of boots and I was surrounded by a forest of very big, black trees.

"Hi," I said in what I hoped was a reassuring voice. The deafening silence told me that it didn't come out right.

Someone ran his hand against my hair. "How are you feeling, Bomber?" Tank's voice asked.

"Crappy," I told them.

"Report," Ranger barked. He could bark at me all he damn well wanted, I wasn't a freaking trained dog.

"Definite broken arm," Bobby said. "Will need to be reset and possibly surgery. Pretty bad concussion, we're waiting on the results of the CT scan to make sure it's nothing more. Her sleepiness and shivering means there's probably at least a little cerebral edema that will need to be addressed."

I was feeling more and more sleepy and insanely sick on my stomach. "Les?" I whispered as the feeling of impending doom increased.

I felt him shift so he was closer to me. "Yeah, Beautiful? I'm right here."

"I love you. Just want you to know that," I gasped.

There was silence for a few seconds. "I know. And I love you too. You know that too," he replied in a very gruff voice. "What's going on in that beautiful head, baby?"

It was taking a lot of effort to talk now. "I feel funny."

"Funny how, Mrs. Santos?" Dr. Henley asked.

"Sick." I could hear breaths being sucked in around me, but I didn't have a whole lot of strength left suddenly.

"What?" Bobby asked with an edge of panic in his voice.

I started retching at this point. I could hear Bobby and the doctor shouting orders before the gurney was on the move again, this time quickly.

The guys were yelling at me too, shouting encouragement at me.

_**Author's note:**__ Once again, I'm starting with an apology. I'm sorry for the delay in posting and for not responding to everyone's wonderful reviews. I will, I promise. This week has just been nuts, but hopefully things will be much calmer now that orientation ends today. I'm taking vacation time week next week to finish up chapter 5 of my dissertation (last one, woo hoo!), so I hopefully will be able to post the last few chapters of Loving Lester without delays or problems. _

_Steph's made it this whole story without needing the ER for herself, and well, I just couldn't let that continue! But I do have a method to my madness (usually)._

_Please let me know what you think!_


	41. Chapter 41

_**Chapter 41**_

I could hear quiet whispers the next time I became aware of my surroundings. Someone was holding my hand. But it didn't feel like Les. I wanted Les!

I started trying to move, to make some sign that I was awake. "Babe?" I heard.

I didn't care if it was Ranger, I wanted Les! I felt hands push my hair back off my face. "Babe, he'll be right back. Calm down."

I couldn't stop moaning, both in pain and confusion. I was just awake enough to be aware that Les was missing, but not aware enough to be able to understand everything yet.

"Santos!" Ranger yelled.

I heard footsteps a few seconds later. "Yeah?"

"She's waking up!"

"Oh God, Beautiful!" I felt Ranger be yanked away from me and then Les was holding me tight and whispering in my ear. "Just sleep, baby, I won't leave again, I promise," he murmured. "They can bring me a damn bedpan next time, I won't leave you again."

Once I was really sure it was him, I stopped fighting.

Les continued to rub my hair and whisper in my ear for a long time. Eventually, his words slowed but his arms remained tight around me.

"She really loves you," Ranger said quietly.

I felt Les let out a long breath. "It's mutual."

"So I see."

There was a long silence.

"We never meant to hurt you," Les said softly, capturing my wandering attention again.

"I just never expected that she'd really move on, so fast, or with you," Ranger said. "If I made it back from the god-forsaken hellhole, I figured I'd find her with the cop. I hadn't thought about her with anyone else."

"Man, you told her to get unattached," Les reminded him.

"I know," Ranger said softly. "I can't believe she told you all that."

"She's my wife, man. She told me everything. You and I have a date on the mats as soon as you're better," he threatened. "I have to kick your ass for all the shit you pulled with her. I promised her that I wouldn't kill you, but I didn't say anything about not knocking some sense into you."

"It was before you got together," Ranger replied with warning in his voice.

"Doesn't matter, cuz," Les replied in an angry tone. "Even if we weren't together now, I'd kick your ass on principle alone. You made a fucking deal with her to get her to sleep with you, how fucked up is that?"

"I know, I was an idiot," Ranger said softly.

Les snorted. "Yeah. And before you get any ideas, you can let it go. I'm not as fucking stupid as you are and I'm never letting her go."

I heard Ranger sigh. "I couldn't offer her a relationship," he finally said. "I did what I thought was best."

"No, you thought you'd get your rocks off and get her out of your damn system," Les countered. "You weren't thinking about what was the best thing for Stephanie or you'd have left her the fuck alone. You two had chemistry and you wanted to see how it would be. But she's amazing and you got hooked and then you ran like a scared little punk."

There was no answer to this charge.

"I never thought I'd see you married," Ranger said after a few minutes.

"Neither did I. But the more time I spent with her, the more time I wanted to spend with her. I was already head over heels, but spending time with her, I just fell harder until I couldn't imagine not having her by my side all the time. So when we ended up in Vegas after Rex died, we somehow ended up married. Took her a little while to come to terms with that, but here we are, and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world."

Me either. Well, maybe I'd change the massive headache. Yeah, I'd definitely change that.

I tried to move again and Les started soothing me. "Shh, baby, I'm right here. I've got you, you're safe now."

I tried to talk but could only get a moan out around the tube in my throat. "Oh shit," Les whispered as he grabbed my hand. "Are you awake?"

Squeeze.

"Fuck! Ranger, get the doctor! And Bobby!"

I heard boots hit the floor and then a door was yanked open.

"Are you in pain, Beautiful?"

Squeeze.

"Oh God, Steph, I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier. We'll get you something in just a minute, okay? Just hold out another few minutes and we'll get you some pain meds, baby."

He tucked me closer to him and I couldn't quite suppress a moan of pain as my head shifted minutely. "I'm sorry," Les apologized.

"Santos?" came Bobby's sleepy voice.

"She's awake," Les said in a tight voice. "And in pain."

"Oh fuck!"

Then I heard an unfamiliar voice. "Hey! You don't have to shove me!"

I would have smirked if I could have. I'm guessing Ranger got a bit impatient with the pace of the doctor.

"So I hear you think she's awake?" came a condescending voice. "It was probably just a few muscles spasms."

I already didn't like him.

"No, she can communicate by squeezing my hand," Les said in a dark and dangerous voice that promised dire retribution if he didn't listen. My hero.

I heard shuffling footsteps and then there were three of us holding hands. Really, I much preferred holding hands with just Les.

"Squeeze my hand if you can hear me," the obnoxious voice demanded. I squeezed as hard as I could, which wasn't very hard.

"Squeeze three times if you're awake," came the startled reply.

Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. Which, in my mind, stood for: you stupid bastard.

"What's four plus two?"

I squeezed six times while seething internally. Really? Evil gnomes are inside my damn brain, and he wants to test my arithmetic skills?

"Enough," Ranger growled. "She's in pain. Make it stop." The or else you'll be in pain too was left implied.

"Um, she shouldn't be conscious, not with the drugs we have her on," the doctor stuttered. I could imagine him trying not to shit a brick with a cranky Les, Bobby and Ranger glaring at him.

"So try some other drugs," Bobby, the voice of reason, said. "You know as well as I do that different patients react to drugs differently. So try something new. But first, give her a fucking painkiller so she's not hurting."

Okay, so he was only so reasonable for so long with stupid people. And despite an M.D. to his name, this guy didn't sound too smart. At least not if he was pissing off Merry Men willy nilly.

A few minutes later, I felt someone inject something into the IV port at my wrist. Please, God, let it be happy drugs.

As I started to see flying Butterscotch Krimpets and butterflies with the faces of kittens a few minutes later, I'm pretty sure it was happy drugs.

And the good stuff at that.

When I woke up the next time, my head still hurt, but not as badly. Meaning that I could move my head marginally without feeling the need to puke. Hey, it's progress, right?

I blinked a few times, and saw Les sleeping in the visitor's chair next to my bed. His head was tilted back at an uncomfortable angle and his mouth was open slightly as he made little snuffling noises in his sleep. His face was heavily bearded and tired, but he'd never looked more handsome to me.

He was still holding my hand in a death grip, so I kept my hand still as I tried to look around the room. Bobby was in the other chair, flipping through what I assumed was my chart.

"Hey," I whispered softly.

Bobby's head shot up as he jumped to his feet, the file flying to the floor. That caused Les to jump to his feet and pull his gun as he threw himself between the door and my bed.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked as he started scanning for threats.

"She's awake!" Bobby said as he rushed to my side.

Les turned quickly and shot me a megawatt smile as he shoved his gun back into its holster. "Baby?"

"Hey," I said in a closer to normal voice.

"Oh, thank God," Les said with tears in his eyes as he leaned down to give me a gentle kiss. "You don't know how worried you had us. I'm so glad to see your pretty blue eyes again."

"How long have I been out?" I said in a dreadfully raspy voice.

"Three days," Bobby answered. Then he started shining lights in my eyes and asking me questions.

I knew the drill, so I answered them all. He had to give me a few small sips of water before I could answer many, though. My throat felt like sandpaper.

"Why've I been out so long?" I asked when he seemed done asking me questions.

"Lot of swelling in your head, Bomber, and we needed to keep you quiet and still while it healed. And since we know what won't happen while you're awake, we had to keep you knocked out to give your brain time to heal," Bobby replied as he scribbled notes in my chart. "I'm going to go call Becky now."

"Ask her over for lunch or dinner or whatever to talk about my hard head," I said.

Bobby shot me a mock glare as he left the room.

Les sat down on the chair and picked up my right hand again. "So what all's wrong with me?" I asked.

"Hell of a concussion," Les admitted. "But you're awake now and know everything, so you should be fine. Your arm was broken and they had to re-set it."

I looked down to see my left forearm in a blue cast. I sighed.

"So when can I go home?"

Les started laughing. "Not yet, baby. Probably not for a day or two, they'll want to make sure the swelling is gone in your head before they let you go home. It was pretty bad, you were throwing up like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. They debated whether to do surgery or just use drugs, but in the end, drugs were enough to bring the swelling down. But they'll probably want to monitor you for a little while first."

"Fine," I huffed. "But you know how I hate hospitals."

"I know, Beautiful, but I'd hate you to be in pain even more. Now, how about we call some people and let them know you're okay?"

I nodded slightly, then grimaced when it hurt. Eagle eyes Santos caught it, of course. "Then you can take a nap," he amended.

"I just woke up from a three day nap!"

"You just had a major head injury, you need your rest, baby. Please."

Gah, always with the please. He knows I can't resist it. "Maybe."

He called the control room, and told them I was fine. Apparently, they didn't believe him and insisted on speaking to me. "He's right, I'm fine," I called out.

Les laughed into the phone and then handed it to me.

"Hello?"

"Angel, you don't know how good it is to hear your voice!"

"Thanks, Cal. Just tell everyone that the hard head saved the day. Les said I probably won't be able to get out of here for a day or two, but once I do, I'm going to need visitors to keep me from going nuts until I can go back to work."

I could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke again. "Will do. I have no doubt that you'll have plenty of visitors."

"Hope so."

"Call me if you need anything."

"Roger dodger."

He laughed and hung up, so I handed the phone back to Les. Les dialed another number, and handed me the phone. I shot him a questioning look. "Your dad," he replied.

"How is she?" dad demanded anxiously.

"Hey, daddy. I'm fine."

There was a moment of silence. "Oh, thank you, Jesus!" dad said softly. I swear, it sounded like he was crying. Shit, I must have almost died. I'd never heard my dad cry, not ever.

"Daddy, are you okay?" I asked after a moment.

"I'm fine, pumpkin, now that I know you're okay," he replied immediately.

"I'm good. A little tired still, but otherwise okay," I said to reassure him.

"I'll bring you some decent food for dinner, okay? How's that sound to my little girl?"

"Sounds good to me!"

"You get some rest and I'll see you in a few hours, okay? I love you."

Shit. I also couldn't remember the last time my dad told me he loved me. Well, maybe I could. I think it was when I broke my arm when I jumped off the roof to see if I could fly. "Okay. I love you, too, daddy."

"Bye, pumpkin."

I turned to look in shock at Les. "Did I almost die or something?"

"It was closer than I'd ever like, but it ever got that close, Beautiful. It was just close enough to really scare your dad. Okay, close your eyes and get some rest now, baby," Les ordered.

"You know, I could rest a lot better if you were here with me," I negotiated. "I always sleep better when you're holding me."

He lifted me gently and then pulled me into his arms once he slid into the bed. "Better?"

"Better," I agreed as I cuddled against his chest and carefully placed my plaster-encased arm on his hip.

I didn't sleep, but with him holding me close, I was able to completely relax. Well, until the flock of doctors came in to check me. Hard to relax during that.

I managed to snooze a little against my hot-bodied body pillow once the doctors all left. Bobby was back in his chair in the corner, and I knew I was safe.

Daddy showed up at five with bags and bags from Pino's. Yeah, my daddy knew me well!

Les helped me sit up, and Bobby kept a close eye on me as I ate. I wasn't able to eat my normal mammoth amount, but I made a respectable dent in the meatball sub, fries and icy cold Coke. Then dad bought out cheesecake from the Tasty Pastry, and I couldn't resist a few bites.

"So who was that bat wielding maniac?" I asked once my tummy was stuffed.

"His name was James Metcalf," Les answered. "You refused to bond out his brother, Joey, a couple of weeks ago, and child molesters don't fare well in jail. Joey's in the hospital now from his injuries. James won't say, but best guess is that he's angry at you because of that."

I thought about it for a minute. "The brother, Joey, was a slimy creep. Set all my Spidey senses off. I just knew he'd run, just knew it. Even if he'd had enough collateral, I wouldn't have bonded him out. The things he did to those kids…. No, I wasn't going to take the chance that he'd run and not have to go to trial for what he did. The oldest was only Angie's age!"

Les nodded. "Anyways, word got out in jail about what he'd done, and some of the other inmates taught him their own lesson in justice. But apparently James would rather blame you than Joey for what happened, and he attacked you."

"Bastard," I spat.

All the guys in the room nodded. "Good thing the cops got him," Bobby said. "Les and Ranger would have killed him."

"He's still in jail?" I asked.

Les nodded. "On attempted murder charges. Obviously you aren't going to bond him out, and Les Sebring called the other bail bonds agents in the city and explained that he'd tried to kill you when you made a business judgment call not to bond out his child molesting brother with insufficient collateral to cover the bond. So no one in Trenton will bond him out. He'll sit in jail until it goes to trail if I have anything to say about it!"

I grinned at him. "My hero!"

"Part of me wants to let him get out so I can teach him what happens when he messes with you," Les said in a dangerous tone. "But we'd be the first ones investigated if he vanishes. So probably best if he stays in jail for now."

"Probably. But I think I did some damage of my own."

Les smiled at me. "Yeah, Beautiful, you did. Proud of you! You broke his nose, broke his kneecap, tore out his ACL and almost crushed his trachea. Damn good job!"

Bobby applauded lightly. I did a Miss America wave from my hospital bed.

"Where'd you learn all that, pumpkin?" dad asked.

I pointed at Les.

"I've been working on her with some self-defense moves for the past year, just in case. They came in handy this time," Les said modestly.

I snorted. "If I hadn't reacted like I did when I did, thanks to you, I'd be dead right now probably. He still managed to put me in the hospital under sedation for three days, and that was with me throwing my arm up in the nick of time. If you hadn't made me practice all those moves all those times, I wouldn't have reacted fast enough and he'd have probably bashed my head in."

Dad and Les paled. Bobby nodded slowly. "I hate to admit it, but she's right. It was pretty bad as it was, but if all the force had been to her head and not absorbed partially by her arm, it would have been much, much worse."

"Thank you," dad said softly. "Thank you for taking care of her."

"Always, sir," Les replied. I knew he meant every word. He had taken care of me from the shadows for years, but now that we were really together, I could never ask for a more supportive and loving partner in life. I knew he'd do absolutely anything to make sure I was safe and happy, just like I would for him.

Dad sat silently for a minute. "Your grandma sends her love," dad started. "She'll come see you as soon as she can."

"Is she okay?" I asked anxiously.

Dad nodded reluctantly. "Your grandma is fine. It's your mother who isn't."

Despite my anger at my mother, I felt my heart jump. Bobby jumped too as my heart monitor went slightly nuts. "No, no, Bomber, she's fine," Bobby interject. "Physically, she's fine."

Phew. I looked at dad. "She's lost her damn mind, so I left her, pumpkin."

And the heart monitor went nuts again. "Wh-what?"

"Les called me to tell me about the attack. I told your mom, and well, let's just say that her reaction was inappropriate. I called her on it, and she said some very rude things. So I told her I was leaving. I came to the hospital and stayed until they got you stabilized, and then spoke to Les. He said you guys had plenty of room at your house, and offered me a bedroom until I could find my own place. So I've been staying in a very nice green bedroom the last few days," dad continued.

We'd elected to paint each bedroom a different color so we could call them by their color names. So I knew dad was staying in the largest guest bedroom on the second floor.

"So your grandma is staying with your mother to basically keep her from drinking herself to death. She just kept going on and on about how bad it would look if I moved out. I told her I didn't give a shit about what the neighbors thought or said, I just cared about making sure you were okay. She's just upset that you cut her out of your life, pumpkin."

Now that spiked my blood pressure. "Bomber, you have to stay calm," Bobby warned as he checked my telemetry readings.

"Dad, I didn't cut her out. I gave her chance after chance, and she kept being a raging bitch to Les! I put up with her criticisms of me, but I won't listen to her treat Les like a criminal just because he's not 'Burg!"

"Pumpkin, I know," dad tried to soothe me. "I'm just saying that from her perspective, you get married, and then you stop letting her act like she always has. So she blames everything on Les."

"Well, she can kiss my ass," I huffed.

"Can I kiss your ass?" Les asked with a wicked grin to cut the tension a little.

I rolled my eyes at him, but grinned like he'd intended. "Maybe later."

Both Bobby and my dad groaned. It sounded funny in surround sound.

"So… you moved out, huh? Has she been ironing the wallpaper?" I asked.

Dad nodded. "In between shots of Jim Beam. Your grandmother's trying to get her to see reason, but I think she's past the point of being reasonable. She's crazy. She wasn't always crazy. She was sane when we got married. I don't know when she went nuts, but she did at some point and I guess it was just slow and gradual enough that I didn't really see it happening. Valerie's pissed at your mom, too, and refuses to let the girls come over while your mom's half lit, which makes her even more crazy. So it's this nutty cycle. She drinks, which makes her act crazy, which means no one wants to be around her, which makes her drink even more. But she won't admit that she's in the wrong here, or that her drinking is a problem, so there's really nothing we can do. Your grandmother's trying, but I'm not sure how long she'll be able to put up with her like this either."

Well, holy hell.

Dad hung out for a while until the nurse came in to get me up. Apparently, I had to prove that I was capable of walking before I'd be able to go home. So I was totally up for walking, once Les wrapped a robe around me so my ass wasn't hanging out of the backless gown.

I was pretty much exhausted after walking up and down the hall a few times, so I fell back into the bed once we got back to the room. I insisted that Les should go home to take a shower and get some sleep in a real bed. He tried to argue, but he's not the only one who can do the puppy dog eyes. Ha! Score one for me.

Bobby looked pretty rough too, so I told him to go home too. Both he and Les argued that I shouldn't be left alone. So I told them to call one of the Merry Men to stay with me, if someone volunteered, and if they'd had sleep. But really, I have a call button and a whole floor of nurses. I'd be fine.

Of course, they didn't listen.

So Bobby put out a request for a volunteer to stay with me overnight. Within minutes, there had been several volunteers. Zero was off the next day, and he said he'd gotten plenty of rest, so Bobby accepted his offer.

Twenty minutes later, Zero showed up and Bobby and Les left.

After I thanked Zero for coming to stay with me, I was out too.

_**Author's note: **__Holy cow, thanks for all the reviews! I can't believe there has been over 750 reviews! I just noticed the number today when I was responding to them. Thank you all very much for taking the time to leave a review, it really means so much to me as a fan fiction writer to get your feedback._

_To those of you who left guest/ anonymous reviews or have private messages turned off: thank you very much for your reviews as well!_

_Also, I'm now up to date with posting this story at The Plum Archives. It has moved to a new server, so the new address is (no www) theplumarchives fiction. If you haven't checked it out yet, please do! It's a great place for Plum fan fiction of all rating levels. I'm Angela3511 on there as well; story titles are also the same._

_If you haven't voted yet, it's not too late to let me know who you'd like to see as the next lead in a Tart story! I plan to try to finish Distracting Ranger first, but it'll help to know what you all (or y'all for my fellow southerners) would like to read next:_

_- __**Hal**__: Steph's working at RangeMan and off sugar while surrounded by hot guys all day long. How long until she snaps? Somewhat Cupcake unfriendly._

_- __**Ram**__: After Steph breaks up with Joe for good, Ranger drops out of her life, despite still being in Trenton. Steph becomes friends with Ram when he's injured in a take down gone wrong, and things begin to heat up from there… Cupcake neutral._

_- __**Woody**__: Ranger snaps from stress and pushes Stephanie away – literally. Woody and some of the other guys leave RangeMan and open their own PI firm, and invite Steph to come with them. Over time, their professional relationship evolves into something more. Cupcake neutral. Starts off somewhat Babe unfriendly, but evolves to Babe friendly._

_Please review! Those email review alerts make me giddy like a kid at Christmas. Kind of sad for a 30 year-old professional woman, but c'est la vive. And since it's hot as Hades here, make me think of Christmas, please!_


	42. Chapter 42

_**Chapter 42**_

By the time I woke up the next morning, Zero was gone and Les was back. He looked much better, still somewhat tired but much better rested than before, and his heavy beard was gone so I could see his gorgeous dimples again.

"You look better," I told him once I stretched.

"You saying I looked bad before?" he teased.

"I'm saying you looked tired before," I said diplomatically.

That earned me a smile. "Nice save."

"Thanks. I try."

We chatted a little until the doctors showed up to poke, prod and generally torture me. Unfortunately, despite being on my best behavior, they wouldn't let me out. They collectively insisted I stay at least another day to make sure all the swelling in my brain had gone down and would stay down.

I tried to argue that my hard head had protected me, but I was overruled.

Power hungry jerks.

I did still have a residual headache, so I couldn't do much of anything. Even reading or watching movies caused the headache to increase, and talking for very long hurt too.

Just so you know, starting at the ceiling is totally and utterly boring.

Les stayed by my side pretty much all day as I dozed off and on. Thank God for my ability to sleep anytime, anywhere, because otherwise, I'd have gone stark, raving mad.

I tried to get him to go home again that night, but he dug in his heels and insisted that he'd stay with me. One night at home in our bed would be enough to keep him going until I got to go home too. I tried, I really did, but even the puppy dog eyes didn't work when he turned his own puppy dog eyes against me and told me how lonely our bed was when I wasn't there with him.

So I caved. And truthfully, I slept better even in the tiny hospital bed when he was curled up next to me too. It's not like we left much space between us at home, so we managed reasonably okay in hospital beds too. Just that neither of us are ever allowed to gain weight or it will be impossible.

I was finally allowed to leave the next day. My headache was down to tolerable levels, and apparently the last brain scan showed acceptable levels of inflammation given that a psychopath with a Louisville slugger had used my noggin for batting practice.

I really wanted to run around singing "Freedom" by George Michaels, but I figured that would get me locked up in the psych ward, so I restrained myself.

When we got to the house, the driveway and street were overflowing with cars. Apparently, we were having a party and someone forgot to tell me.

I turned to Les and raised my eyebrows. "I forget about a party?"

"I told the guys I was bringing you home, and I guess they took that as an invitation," Les replied. "I'll get rid of them if you want."

"No, it's sweet that they want to check on me. Just keep it down to a dull roar, please. Not sure my head can handle a full-on Merry Man party today," I replied.

I got the crooked little grin that made my heart jump in response. "Just let me know if they get too loud, Beautiful, and I'll quiet them down."

Then Les came around and helped me out of the passenger seat. As soon as I was out, he swept me into his arms.

"Les!" I squeaked. "I can walk!"

"I know, but baby, you scared me. I'm probably going to be a little clingy for a little while. You'll just have to get used to it."

I rested my head on his shoulder. I think I could get used to it.

When we walked in, the guys started cheering, albeit much quieter than usual. Guess Bobby or someone told them that loud sounds still bothered me. Les deposited us on the couch, me on his lap.

Everyone came by to speak with us. Most just wanted to say that they were happy that I was okay.

I chatted with everyone for a while until I was started to wilt from fatigue. I reached up to rub at the building headache, and Les, of course, noticed. "Head hurting again, baby?"

"A little."

"Let's get you to bed."

"Not tonight, dear, I have a headache."

He threw back his head and laughed, and then stood with me in his arms. "All the more reason to get you some rest then," he said as he waggled his eyebrows at me.

Once people noticed that I was leaving my welcome home party, they started complaining. Les turned to glare at them. "She's got a headache, I'm taking her to rest a little. You guys are welcome to stay and hang out and eat us out of house and home, but you have to keep the noise level down. She just got out of the damn hospital, and she still needs to recover."

"Yeah! What he said!" I said with a grin. "No seriously, thanks for coming to welcome me home, but I do have a headache. I think I need a few happy pills, a nap and a medicinal donut or two. I saw those Tasty Pastry boxes, so one of you better bring me a Boston crème or two in about five minutes!"

That got a bunch of laughter and nods. I knew someone would be bringing me my snack in a few minutes.

Les helped me change into some cozy jammies and got me settled into our big bed. I'd take my happy pills with the donuts since the pain pills sometimes made me feel sick to my stomach if I took them without food. And the Tasty Pastry made the best food in the world.

I had my head resting on Les's chest, his arms holding me gently, when there was a soft knock on the door. I'd seen Bobby in the crowd earlier, so I figured he'd bring me a donut or two and check me over before he'd let me sleep, but frankly, I didn't care who brought me the donut as long as I got one.

I thought I was hallucinating when Ranger opened the door a moment later.

"Ranger?" I asked as I lifted my head. "What are you doing here?"

"Babe. Wanted to check on you."

I turned to shoot an 'are you kidding me?' look at Les, who just grinned at me. "At least he was smart enough to bring you donuts, baby."

I shrugged. True enough. "I'm fine. Now give me my donuts!"

Ranger shot me a smile as he handed over the plate with two Boston crèmes on it. Les helped me sit up and then handed me the two pain pills and a bottle of water before I wolfed down both donuts with a happy sigh. Les chuckled and wiped away a smudge of chocolate from my lower lip. With his tongue.

I think Les was sending a message to Ranger.

When I looked back at Ranger, he had a blank look on his face and I knew it had to be bothering him to see me and Les together in our bed like that, but maybe it would be the best in the long run for him to accept that Les and I are together and it's forever.

"How are you feeling, Babe?" Ranger asked after a moment of awkward silence.

"Okay. A little tired, and my head started to hurt again, so Les decided it was time for me to take a little nap. I'll be fine after I rest for a little while," I replied. "Thanks for checking on me."

Ranger nodded. "I'll let you rest then. Bobby wants to check you before you go to sleep." Then he was gone.

I looked up at Les. "Did you know Ranger was here?" I asked softly.

Les turned to me and kissed me gently. "No, but I'm not surprised. He had to go to Washington for some kind of meeting for a few days, but he called every few hours to check on you while you were unconscious. I didn't know he was back in town yet, but since he is, I'm not surprised he stopped by to see you."

Huh. Thinking about Ranger made my head hurt more, so I stopped.

Bobby came in a moment later and checked me over before deciding that I was fine. I thanked him, yawned and then cuddled up to Les and fell asleep.

I jack-knifed in the bed an undetermined length of time later. I was shaking, covered in sweat and panting in abject, soul-sucking fear. What the hell?

I looked around the room and heard the muted sounds of conversation and laughter. I'd obviously had some sort of nightmare, and I felt completely freaked out still even though I couldn't remember what I'd dreamed.

I needed Les.

So I threw back the blankets and stumbled out of the bedroom.

"Bomber?" Woody asked when I staggered out. "You okay?" All the guys in the living room turned to stare at me in shock. I continued on shaky legs towards the kitchen, Woody holding one arm and Cal the other to keep me upright. Woody was talking to me, asking questions, but I was ignoring him.

I saw Les talking to Bobby and Ranger. Les was leaning against the island, his back to me.

Bobby spotted me first. "Steph! What's wrong?" he asked as he turned towards me.

Les whipped around in shock. "Beautiful? You okay?" he asked as he sprinted across the room towards me.

I pulled away from Woody and Cal and threw myself in Les's arms. He caught me, staggering back slightly from the force, but immediately wrapped his arms around me. I burst into loud sobs that surprised the hell out of everyone, including me.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Les demanded urgently. "Are you in pain?"

I managed to shake my head slightly but I couldn't seem to stop crying. Les scooped me up in his arms and carried me over to sit on the island. When he tried to pull back, I just clung to him more, wrapping both arms and legs around him so he couldn't move.

"It's okay, baby. I'm here. I've got you, Beautiful," he repeated over and over again, his hands rubbing up and down my back.

"Bobby, what's wrong with her?" Les asked as he continued to rub me.

"Don't know, man, and I won't know until we get her calmed down," Bobby replied. I knew I was freaking the hell out of the men in black, and me too, come to think of it, but I couldn't stop crying. It was pissing me off that I couldn't stop.

"Do something!" Ranger demanded.

"I can't!" Bobby exclaimed. "If I sedate her, I can't ask her what's wrong, and it could be the worst thing if she's in pain or something. If she doesn't calm down in a few minutes, we'll have to take her back to the hospital so we can figure it out."

"What could it be?" Les asked frantically as he kept rubbing my back gently.

"She did take two pain pills, could be a reaction to those. Could be a symptom of something more from the concussion. I won't know until she calms down and we can talk to her," Bobby explained as he patted my back gently. "Just breathe, Bomber, try to get some air before you pass out."

"Calm her down!" Ranger ordered.

"Shit, man, I'm trying!" Les said in exasperation.

"Let me try," Ranger said. When he tried to pull Les away from me, I smacked him. Hard. With my cast. He pulled his hand back with a muffled curse as I tucked my head against Les's neck and sucked in a shuddered breath.

"Don't think she wants that," Les said in a semi-amused voice.

"Fuck!" Ranger said. If he tries that again, he'll be lucky if there's enough of him left for his mother to bury.

It took another minute, but I was finally able to calm down a little and turn off the God awful tears.

"Baby, can you tell us what's wrong?" Les asked as he eased back slightly so he could see my face.

"I don't know," I said as I blushed bright red to see all the men in black crowded into the kitchen watching me in utter flabbergasted concern. I'd bet you anything there was already and SUV idling at the door just in case they had to take me to the ER.

"What happened?" Les asked gently as he brushed the now wet curls away from my face.

"Bad dream, I think. I woke up completely freaked out, and then I couldn't stop crying even though I really, really wanted to stop," I said miserably, feeling like a complete loser.

Medic Bobby took over at that point and started poking and prodding. In the end, he decided that I should probably only take one pain pill at a time from now on. Apparently the hallucinogenic side effects were strong in me.

Les carried me back to bed. I could have walked, but apparently I'd scared the shit out of my husband, and he wasn't ready to let go of me just yet, so he insisted on carrying me. Eh, worked for me.

Bobby stayed behind to explain to the anxious guys that I'd had a bad reaction to the painkillers, but that I was fine. Just embarrassed.

"Bomber, it's all good! Sucked seeing you upset like that, but better than having to deal with what happened when Binkie here had a bad reaction to painkillers," Cal joked. "He was puking his guts out. That was some nasty shit, man."

That got a round of laughter. "Kiss my ass! At least I had a legitimate reason. I remember you pissing yourself when you self-medicated a little too much at Shorty's," Binkie rejoined.

The next thing I know, the guys are throwing insults at each other and trying to one up each other with most embarrassing stories about painkillers and/or alcohol consumption.

I love my guys. They were trying to make me feel better about my freak out by letting me know I wasn't the only one to flip out like that after going ten rounds with Vicodin. Screw Jose Cuervo, Vicodin did me in.

I smiled at them as Les continued on to our bedroom. Bobby pulled back the covers and Les got me settled before he kicked off his shoes and slid under the covers with me.

"I'll stay here with you, baby. If you have a bad dream this time, I'll be right here with you, okay?"

"Okay," I said softly. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize, baby. You can't help how the drugs affect you, it's not your fault. Just get some sleep now, I'll take care of you. You know that, right?"

"I know."

"I love you, Beautiful. Go back to sleep now."

"Love you, too, Les."

_**Author's note: **__Hope all of my American friends had a great Independence Day yesterday!_

_As far as the drug induced nightmares go, they do happen. My dad, a big guy and Mr. Macho, had to have surgery to repair a torn rotator cuff a few years ago, and I went home to help him out after the surgery. I was in the kitchen washing dishes while he napped when he came and stood in the doorway, shaking like a leaf and pale as a ghost._

"_Dad? Are you okay?" I asked._

"_There's a moose," he replied, serious as could be._

_I blinked at him. "A moose?" I asked, just to make sure I was hearing correctly. Now keep in mind, we were in the house then, plus we live in the southern part of the US, where there are no moose living in the wild._

"_There's a moose after me."_

_Dad was completely convinced that a moose had tried to get into his bedroom and was going to charge him, eat him, something. The poor guy was terrified. I don't think I have ever seen my dad quite so scared, and I was a very clumsy kid who got hurt a lot._

_It was all I could to do keep from laughing, but I managed to keep it contained and was able to get him calmed down and back asleep, but it took a long time to convince him that there was no moose. _

_I didn't let him take two of the Vicodin at one time again, though. _

_So I figured Stephanie could definitely have a 'moose' nightmare too!_

_Please let me know what you think! All the reviews are great; thanks for them all!_


	43. Chapter 43

_**Chapter 43**_

Les woke me up a little while later. I'd been whimpering and moaning in my sleep, and he figured I was having another drug induced nightmare.

That's when Bobby took away my Vicodin and went to get another prescription filled for me. I guess me and Vic just aren't meant to be.

With the new pain medicine, I didn't have nightmares or long, freaky crying jags that completely flipped out the men in black. That was good.

It still took a couple of days before the headaches were gone enough that Les was comfortable leaving me at home alone as long as I promised to wear a panic button in case I had any problems. I wasn't cleared to go to work yet, but I could do a little work from our home office since a girl can only watch Ghostbusters so many times.

It was my third day of boredom, er, working from home, when there was a beep that someone had come let themselves in through the gate. Not a shocker, since my dad, Les or one of the Merry Men came by regularly to check on me.

I was surprised to see Ranger's Turbo when I checked the video feed. I hadn't seen him since the day of my freak out from the Vicodin.

I met him at the front door. "Hey, Ranger."

"Babe."

I rolled my eyes but stepped back so he could come in. He was bearing gifts, bags from Pino's, so he was definitely welcome.

"What's up?"

"Lunch."

We settled at the kitchen island for our meal. I had a meatball sub and he had a salad. I guess some things never change.

"Can we talk, Babe?" Ranger finally asked once I'd put the few dishes we'd used in the dishwasher and was fiddling around with it just to have something to do.

Crap. "Sure."

I led him into the living room and plopped down, grabbing a pillow as a shield and something to hold so I wouldn't fidget too badly.

"What's on your mind, Batman?"

"We need to talk about your new life."

"Okay." There was silence for a couple of minutes. "So talk."

"Babe."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Ranger."

He sighed. "Look, I'm trying to accept that you're with my cousin now, but it's hard. I'd thought that if I made it back…" he trailed off when I held up a hand.

"Ranger, please. That's not helpful. You told me to get unattached, so I did. If you wanted a relationship with me, telling me to move on is not the way to accomplish that. I get why you did what you did, I think it was a bonehead move, but I get it. But you don't get to come in and screw with me and my relationship with Les. I love him. He loves me. We're married, and I love being with him. Please don't screw with us."

"I'm not trying to screw with you, Babe, I'm just trying to understand what the hell happened while I was gone."

My turn to sigh. "Okay. You already knew that Les and I were buddies. Out of all of your guys, he was the one I knew the best and liked the most, he always made me laugh, went out of his way to check on me when something bad happened, stuff like that. Turns out he'd had feelings for me for a long time, but he'd never said or done anything because he thought you and I were in some sort of weird and twisted relationship and he didn't want to interfere."

Ranger nodded. "He's a good man."

"The best. But I guess Tank told him about your dickhead order to keep all the guys away from me, and Les came over to see what the heck had happened. Honestly, at that point, I thought it had been a sleeping pill induced hallucination. It wasn't until he asked that I realized it had been real. I kind of fell apart a little bit then, and Les was there to pick up the pieces. I told him what happened and that we were never in a relationship really and that by God, I was going to get over you."

Ranger winced. "I'm sorry about that, Babe."

I waved him off. "He said that's when he realized that he might have a shot with me since I'd broken up with Joe for good and that he wouldn't be hitting on your woman or something, but I'd always teased him about being a player. So he started coming over a lot more, letting me get to know the man behind the joker mask. I got to know him as a person, saw that he wasn't just a player. It wasn't too long before he was truly my best friend, the person I'd call when anything good or bad happened."

Ranger stared at me. "I used to be that person."

"No. You were the person I'd call for the bad, when I had a psycho. You were never the person I'd call with the good stuff because I always felt like I was bothering you. I never knew you well enough for the other. You were definitely one of my best friends, but not like Les became," I replied with brutal honesty.

Ranger had his blank face on, but I could see his eyes tighten slightly. "I'm sorry, but that's the truth," I said apologetically.

He just looked at me for a moment before he nodded. "Continue."

I rolled my eyes but continued. "It wasn't an overnight thing. It was months. He was teaching me self-defense, getting me to work out a little by asking me, cajoling me, instead of simply making me. It was really pretty gradual. But when Rex died, I realized the only person I wanted to call was Les, so I did."

"And he took you to Vegas, got you drunk and married."

"A lot more than that. He knew I was upset so he got me out of town while my grief was the worst and seeing the empty spot on my kitchen counter would be the worst. He kept me busy during the day and held me in the evenings when I cried. Neither one of us meant to get married, we were both completely trashed. Really, it shouldn't have been legal for the Sinatra impersonator to marry us, and I flipped out the next morning when I realized that we'd gotten married. I was sure Les would hate me. But he didn't. He confessed that he loved me, that he had for a long time, and that he wanted to be with me. He said that he didn't ever expect to get married like that, but he wanted to be married to me."

I smiled at the memory, which made Ranger's blank face slam back down. "Sorry. After I finished having a panic attack, I realized that I really cared for Les too. I'd never really thought about him as more than a friend, albeit a truly hot and sexy one, but once I thought about it, I could see it. So we started dating, for lack of a better term. He was incredibly patient with me. I'll be the first to admit that I'm screwed up with relationship shit. They freak me out. I never thought I'd get married again, didn't think I'd want to. And frankly, I probably wouldn't have except for lots of booze and a very persuasive Frank Sinatra impersonator. It even took Les getting shot in the chest for me to admit how much I love him and need him in my life. But once I did, there's no going back. He's it for me."

Ranger leaned back and looked at me for a long time. "Would you have been happy with me?"

"That's a really hard question to answer. Probably, for a while at least. The problem is that you don't know how to open up, and I'm not the kind of girl who takes being left in the dark well. I mean, I know there's lots of stuff Les can't tell me. I ask lots of questions. I'm curious. It's who I am. Les answers my questions if he can. We have a deal. If he says, 'that's classified', then I drop it, but he has to promise me that he won't say that unless it's really true. I don't push when he says that. I'm insanely curious, yeah, but I know he can't talk about it. But you won't even open up about the little things, like your favorite food, things aren't even remotely a little bit classified. That's just how you are. But eventually, that would have created too much friction unless one of us gave in and changed."

I thought for another minute. "And you're too bossy."

That got a laugh. "Babe."

"No, I'm serious! Les asks me to do stuff. He asked me to pretty please let him teach me some self-defense because it really bothered him when I was hurt. He didn't try to force me, he didn't yell at me that I was giving him an ulcer. He was just calm and said that he hated seeing me in pain, and that he could teach me some moves that might help get me out of that situation in the future. Then he gave me the puppy dog eyes and said please. He gives me options rather than make decisions for me. That's huge for me. And I'm not sure you'd be capable of turning off Ranger enough for that."

"I'm probably not. Too many years of having to be so carefully about giving out information, of being in control at all times. I wanted to try for something with you, but I also knew I might have to leave at a moment's notice and might not make it back, and that would be hard for you," Ranger said.

"Let me ask you a question, and please be honest," I said.

Ranger nodded. "Why did you keep renewing your contract to run missions then?"

His blank face slammed down and he stared at me. "Les told me that he declined to renew his contract a couple of years ago when it was up. You renewed. If you wanted to try a relationship with me, why renew it if that was what was holding you back?"

Ranger just stared at me for a long time. I learned a lot of patience in the last year, so I waited him out.

"Babe, I… I guess because I'm good at it. Even though it's dangerous, I enjoy the work. Someone has to do it, and I'm one of the best."

"So the desire to continue running these missions was greater than the desire to have a relationship with me," I said matter-of-factly.

He stared at me for a while before nodding. "I suppose. I hadn't thought of it like that. I guess I just assumed that you'd still be around when I was done."

"Do you know how I learned to spell assume when I was in junior high? It's because assuming makes an ass out of you and me. You assumed that I would wait patiently for you to finish saving the world without you even giving me any kind of clue that you cared about me. Wasn't going to happen, Ranger."

"Babe, I told you I loved you!"

"In your own way, whatever that meant! And that your love came with a condom, not a ring. Hell, Ranger, I didn't want a ring! Joe was the one trying to force a ring on me! You took me for granted, and now you're peeved that I moved on. I'm sorry if you're hurt, but you really don't have the right to be mad at me or Les because of it. You pushed me away one time too many, but I'm honestly glad you did, because I can't image being happier."

"Not even with me?"

"Not even with you."

I knew this had to be painful. If the situation was reversed, and Ranger had come back with a wife while I'd been thinking that we'd pick up where we left off, I'd be terribly hurt. But we needed to clear the air so we could maybe be friends again one day.

"I know you love him. At the hospital, you wouldn't settle down until he got out of the bathroom. And the other day, when you had the nightmare, you only wanted him to hold you. And he nearly lost his mind trying to make sure you were okay, the man loves you bad. But I thought you loved me too," he finally said.

"Ranger, I did love you. I do love you. But in a very different way than how I love Les. I didn't really know you. Hell, I still don't know where you really live! But the only kind of love I can offer you now is the friend kind, like I have for Bobby and Tank and the other guys. If you can accept that kind of love, that kind of relationship, I'd really like for us to be friends. But there will be no poaching and no inappropriate stuff. Or I'll tell your abuela on you."

That earned me the first smile all afternoon. "It's just a lot to accept, Babe."

"I know. If I'd been thinking all this time that you'd come back and things would be the same and you came back with a wife, I'd be furious and ready to kill you both. But you told me to move on, so I'm not sure why you're so surprised that I did."

"You chose that to be the first time you ever actually listened to me?"

I threw my pillow at him and he batted it away with a laugh. That was when I knew we'd eventually be okay.

_**Author's note: **__I'm soooo sorry for the delay in posting. My doctor changed me to a new medicine 2.5 weeks ago, and well, I lost my ever lovin' mind on it. It made it extremely difficult for me to sleep more than a few hours a night, and like our favorite bounty hunter from hell, a sleep deprived Angela is not a happy Angela. _

_I've had this chapter written for a while now, but I've been too incoherent from lack of sleep to be able to accurately judge whether it makes sense or not. Now that I've halved the medicine (on doctor's orders), I'm starting to be able to sleep a little more, so I'm somewhat capable of rational thought, and it seems okay to me… but please let me know what you think! Am I still nuts from the new medicine?_

_Thank you to all of you who reviewed the previous chapter, and a HUGE thank you to those of you who wrote to make sure I wasn't dead. It means a lot!_

_Now for more important decisions: to procreate or not to procreate? _

_On the one hand, I don't want to conform to the 'Burg expectations that 'first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Stephanie with a baby carriage!' Not all women want kids. One of my best friends is vehement anti-kids, not because she hates them (she loves kids), but because so many deadly health problems run in her family that she refuses to pass on those genes to her kids or run the risk that her kids will have to watch her be ill or die. That's her choice, I respect it, and I don't ever see her changing her mind._

_But on the other hand, I think the idea of curly-haired, green-eyed Lestanies is adorable!_

_So what do you lovely readers think? _

_Thanks for your continued support of Loving Lester and its erstwhile author!_


	44. Chapter 44

_**Epilogue**_

I won't lie and say it was easy to reestablish a friendship with Ranger. It wasn't.

Ranger eventually decided to go to Miami for a couple of weeks to see Julie, but I think part of it was to get away from Les and me. That hurt, but I understood. I'm a runner too. Not in the sense that I put on a pair of Nikes and running shorts and hit the track, but that I typically run from my emotions too when they overwhelm me. Luckily Les hadn't let me run from him when everything went nutty after Vegas.

Thankfully, things were much better when Ranger got back. Whatever happened in Miami helped, and the tension seemed to have mostly disappeared. We were all working our way back to being friends again.

It was still awkward, but Ranger seemed to be able to be around Les and me without wearing his blank face all the time. Les and Ranger were able to joke around with each other again, and Ranger was back to being amused by me rather than hurt.

It would take time, and things would never be like they were before, but things had changed too much to back to the way they were. As long as Ranger could accept Les and me together, I'd be happy with any type of friendship.

Dad found a cheap apartment near our house and moved out right after Ranger got back from Miami. He walked in on Les and I getting freaky one day, and he found an apartment by the end of the week. Dad's new apartment complex was secured by RangeMan, and you had to be buzzed in to get past the front door. This was to prevent mom from tracking him down and making his life miserable.

The 'Burg went totally ape shit when they found out that dad filed for divorce. It made my divorce from The Dick seem tame in comparison, and trust me, it was not tame.

Grandma's still living with mom, but even she's not speaking to her very much anymore. I suspect grandma will want to move out soon, too, but Les has already vetoed grandma moving in here unless there's a medical reason for it. Having my dad walk in on us having sex was horrifying enough. I didn't even know my dad could run that fast, but he set a new land speed record running away. Grandma would be more likely to start commenting on our technique, and that would be the end of our love life.

No thanks.

Val refuses to let the girls near mom while she's still so bitter, and soused, which is probably for the best. According to grandma and Val, who visits her alone while the girls are at school, mom's been on a bender since I left and will probably try to kill me if I ever see her again.

Despite grandma's best efforts, mom blamed all the changes in her life on me. The divorce, Val not letting the girls around her and my deciding that I was happier without her toxic presence were all apparently my fault, at least according to mom. I could barely bring myself to care anymore. I'd always been her scapegoat, and I was tired of it.

The 'Burg finally saw her for the control freak she was, and for once, the gossip was all against her. Except for her small cadre of friends, which was growing smaller daily, she was pretty much alone now, but it was because of her own actions, and I refused to let myself feel responsible.

Les reminded me that I was only responsible for my own actions, which helped. A lot. He was also really great at distraction when it got to be too much, and then I was too sweaty and blissful to care about my mom's issues.

I still can't believe how much my life has changed in the last year. Ranger's stupid ass decisions ended up being a turning point in my life, but my life is better for it. Yeah, his decision to push me away hurt at first, but it was the impetus for Les to decide to show me how me felt about me, and that's what led me to fall in love with my wonderful green-eyed hottie husband. I can even say the word husband without breaking out into hives now.

I may have ended up running the bond office anyways, but I think the fact that my self-confidence was so much higher now being with someone who actually supported me rather than constantly denigrated me helped me to be confident enough in my own abilities to give it a shot. The office was more successful now that it had ever been with Vinnie, probably because I spent more time on the business than doing despicable things with Joyce Barnyard or watching nasty internet porn.

Should be interesting to see what the next year brings…

**The End**

_**Author's note: **__Th-th-that's all, folks! I decided that __if__ Steph and Les were to have kids, that would be a sequel rather than a continuation of this story. Please add me to your author alerts if you want to be alerted if I do decide to write a sequel with little Lestanies in the future._

_I'll be back soon with another story, and I plan to get back to Distracting Ranger as soon as I can._

_Thank you so much for your support and reviews for Loving Lester. They mean so much to me, truly. I don't have words to really tell you how excited and humbled I am to read your reviews, which is sad since I'm trying to be a writer here!_

_If you're reading this now that it's completed, pretty please take just a minute to let me know what you think. You'll make my day, I promise!_


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